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Pokemon Squad! Episode 164; Cigarette Ash
Topic Started: Mar 19 2015, 09:27 PM (58 Views)
RayquazaMaster
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Du arg, bror?
*The music from this video starts playing:
http://www.dailymotion.com/video/xl910s_daria-opening-logo-version_shortfilms
RM is shown sitting in a crowded movie theatre. Everyone else begins laughing as he continues to stare blankly. The scene changes to the Mansion and the Yaoi House playing volleyball. Everyone glares at RM as he simply lets the ball bounce by him. He shrugs. The scene changes again to Brock talking to Nurse Joy in front of the door to RM's lab. RM stares at them for a moment, then takes an ambulance siren out of his pocket and activates it, causing Nurse Joy to send out her Chansey and run off frantically in search of the ambulance, with Brock running after her. RM walks into his lab. The scene changes again to everyone in the Mansion sitting in a stadium at a sporting event, with everyone eagerly paying attention except RM, who is on his 3DS. Everyone except him gets up and cheers. The scene goes back to the volleyball game between the Yaois and RM's Mansion. The ball bounces past RM again and everyone glares as he shrugs. The scene changes again to a wedding with Rudy walking down the aisle in a wedding gown. The camera moves left to show Barney in a pew crying while still smiling, Barney Frank next to him looking on proudly, Ash next to him clapping wildly, and RM on his 3DS. We go back to the volleyball game with Brock and Ash standing in front of RM. They jump and collide, knocking each other down, and the ball bounces past RM. He shrugs again. We then see RM smiling smugly on a plain cream backdrop. The camera zooms in on the upper half of his face, then zooms out to show it in a circle on a blue backdrop with "Pokemon Squad" scrawled along the rim of the circle.*
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RayquazaMaster
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Du arg, bror?
*A title card with an ashtray shaped like Ash's head filled with cigarettes and the words "Cigarette Ash" is shown.*

"Okay, we're rolling," Larry said as he turned on the camera.
"I still don't get why we have to do this, Larry," RM said.
"CUT," Larry groaned, turning off the camera and turning to RM.
"I hate public service announcements," RM said. "They're boring, annoying, preachy, naggy, a waste of time..."
"Same," MM added. "Like, honestly, what's the point to having one? It's totally fine for a series to teach morals, just as long as they're not being shoved down the viewers' or readers' throats."
"Look, it's just something we kind of have to do," Larry replied. "We need to teach kids lessons."
"Firstly, there are better ways to teach kids lessons," RM replied. "Such as exceedingly strict punishments for minor infractions."
"Remind me never to let you watch my kids if I ever have any," Larry said.
"Secondly," RM continued, "do any kids even READ this fanfic anymore? I mean, we've more or less changed the target demographic to teens and young adults. The target demographic hasn't really been kids since, like, season one. And that's the season we all like to forget ever existed."
"Just let me do one of my many jobs and film this," Larry groaned.
"Fine, but I won't like it," RM said. "Also it seems really counterintuitive to have June in an anti-smoking PSA."
"JUST SHUT UP," Larry snapped.
"Make me, flathead!" RM fumed back.
Larry pulled out a gun.
"You're forgetting that one of my many jobs is a hitman," he said.
"Doesn't that sort of go against the fact you're on the police force as well?" RM asked.
Larry stared at RM. Then he dropped the gun and returned to the camera.
"Please just let me work," he muttered. "And action!"
Ash and June walked onto the stage.
"Hey, kids!" Ash said. "I'm Ash Ketchum, from Pallet Town!"
"And I'm June..." June grumbled.
"Today, we're gonna talk about smoking!" Ash said. "And we're gonna see if we can save June's life by getting her to stop smoking!"
"But smoking makes me cool!" June said completely emotionlessly, simply reading her cue card.
"Do you really think that lung cancer makes you cool?" Ash asked. "That smoke will make you choke!" He took a cigarette from June. "Do I look any cooler while smoking?" he asked as he lit it and stuck it in his mouth.
"NO!" everyone shouted.
"Gee, I should stop smoking," June said, again without any emotion at all. "Thanks, Ash, now I've been saved."
"Cut!" Larry shouted. "That's a wrap! I'll edit it and release it tomorrow. Thanks, guys!"
"You're not welcome, Larry," RM and MM shouted.
"(Nick jingle) both of you," Larry said to them as he left.
Ash turned to June.
"June, I know you hate me," he began, "but could I maybe have another of those cigarettes?"
"(Nick jingle) n- wait, what?" June asked, startled.
"That smoking felt soooooooo good," Ash sighed.
"You're (Nick jingle)ing with me, right?" June asked.
"No, really! Please, let me have another cigarette!" Ash begged.
"Okay, (Nick jingle), fine, take one, you little (Nick jingle)," June said, handing Ash another. "You know, I think I may hate you a little less now that we have something in common to bond over..."

Across the room, RM and MM watched June and Ash.
"Well isn't that something," MM laughed. "The PSA actually turned Ash into a smoker!"
"Irony can be pretty ironic sometimes," RM chuckled.
MM stared at him.
"It's an Airplane! reference?" RM said. "You don't get it?"
MM continued staring.
"Well I thought it was funny," RM muttered.
"We really need to do something to get Ash off cigarettes," Brock said. "It's really not healthy."
"I bet anything this problem will solve itself," RM replied. "Trust me, Ash and June are so incompatible June will end up fixing it herself entirely by accident."


"So I guess we're smoking buddies now," June mumbled as she and Ash sat on the porch of the Mansion smoking. "I never would've (Nick jingle)ing seen this coming..."
"I never would've either!" Ash replied. "But this is fun!"
He started to cough.
"It takes some getting used to," June said.
"Mommy says that the more you smoke the more you'll cough," Ash said. "I don't believe her anymore though, because you have firsthand experience!"
"It's obvious as (Nick jingle) she doesn't," June laughed. "I've been smoking for god(Nick jingle) years and I only have been coughing less and less and (Nick jingle)ing less."
"Mommy also says that this is really bad for your lungs!" Ash said. "Is that true?"
He coughed again.
"Yeah, it's true," June replied. "But it makes your lungs look metal as (Nick jingle). I've got a picture on my phone, wanna see it?"
"Yeah!"
June showed Ash the picture. He screamed and threw his cigarette off the porch. Then he ran off screaming.
"MOMMY!" he screamed.
June sat there for a moment staring in the direction Ash had run off in.
"Well (Nick jingle) you too, Ash-hole!" she shouted.
THE END


(Ash) Our next adventure... is this one!
RM meets a magical creature named Kyuubey, who can make contracts with people to turn them into magical girls! And RM begins considering making a contract to better the world! But there are some hidden downsides to becoming a magical girl, and some of our friends turn out to have made contracts themselves and explain these downsides to RM! Will he become a magical girl? Next time: Pokemon Squad! Episode 165: Puella Magi RM Magica!
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