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Pokemon Squad! Episode 150; RM: Boy Genius
Topic Started: Jan 14 2015, 10:09 PM (314 Views)
RayquazaMaster
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POKEMON SQUAD PRESENTS

RM: BOY GENIUS



RM and Ash rode Rayquaza, who had Mega Evolved, through the atmosphere.
"RM, this spacesuit is itchy!" Ash complained.
"Don't worry Ash," RM replied, "we won't be here too much longer. I just need you to launch the satellite when I give the signal."
"You mean the iPhone?" Ash asked.
"It's a satellite," RM corrected. "And I need you to launch it on the count of three. One. Two-"
"How do I do that?!" Ash asked.
"THREE."
Ash threw the iPhone and it came back and hit him in the face. He picked it up and looked at it, then realized what he was supposed to do.
"Oh, I get it!" he said. "I press this button, right?"
He pressed the button on the rocket pack extension to it and it shot out of his hand, nearly taking him with it.
"Is that it?" he asked RM.
"It should be," RM said. "Now let me just check what time it is in Unnamed Town." He pulled out his own iPhone and opened the global clock app. "Ash, if we don't get back home fast, we're going to be late for school!"
"But RM, we don't even go to school!"
"We do when the plot requires it!" RM replied, urging Rayquaza to descend.
Rayquaza obeyed and they began to zoom back down to earth, with Ash struggling to hang on.
"RM, can't we slow down?" Ash asked.
"Not if we want to be at school on time!"
"I thought you graduated?!"
"Like I said, plot!"
"Isn't that what Brock likes most in anime?"
"Not exactly, no."

Meanwhile, at the Kanto Military Base...
"Sir, something is showing up on the radar!" Cilan shouted.
"Let me see," Larry said as he approached. On the radar he saw an incoming object in the skies above Kanto.
"It resembles a missile, sir!" Cilan said.
"Barbie, launch the defense system!" Larry barked.
"Launching the defense system!" Barbie replied with a salute. She hammered a button next to her.

Suddenly, Rayquaza was struck by a powerful laser. It roared in pain and reverted to its standard form from its Mega.
"Oh no!" RM said. "Rayquaza can't handle these altitudes unless it's Mega Evolved!"
Rayquaza began to fall from the sky. Ash and RM hung on for dear life.
"I can't hold on much longer!" Ash shouted.
"Use your parachute!" RM replied. "I installed it in the suit for a reason!"
Ash pressed the button on his suit's shoulder and a parachute popped out, pulling him off of Rayquaza as he began to lightly float down.
"Bye RM!" he said, waving.
RM returned Rayquaza to its PokeBall and activated his own parachute, landing on the roof of the Mansion.

Delia heard a thud on the roof.
"What was that?" she asked Professor Oak.
"Oh, RM is probably back from space!" he replied.
"I told that boy no space travel on school mornings!" Delia said angrily.
Just then, RM ran down the stairs with Sqirt and Pachirisu, toast in his mouth and anime eye glasses on.
"Gotta get to school now, bye!" he said through his closed mouth.
"Now just a moment, young man!" Delia scolded. "What have I told you about space travel before school?!"
"Delia," RM said, taking the toast out of his mouth, "you are not my mother, and in addition I am legally an adult."
"I don't care!" Delia said. "I'm the only person in this mansion who's a mother, so I'll do my job well for all! And you are not going to school wearing those glasses!" she added, snatching the anime eye glasses off of RM's face. "Now hurry along or you'll miss your school bus which apparently exists now for high school students!"

RM ran outside and saw the school bus pulling away.
"Wait!" he shouted. But the bus was impossible to catch up with.
He thought for a moment, then reached into his hyperspace storage backpack.
"This out to do the trick!" he said, pulling out a platform with a motor and wheels.
He pushed the platform into the street and sat down on it.
"Sqirt, Pachirisu, come on!" he said.
They followed him onto it.
"Pachirisu, power the motor with Thunderbolt!" he said. "And Sqirt, use Hydro Pump to give us additional thrust forward!"
"Chi...PA!"
"Mudkiiiiiiiip!"
The platform began to shoot forward as RM clutched it with one hand and clutched his hat with the other. Soon he had caught up with the bus.
"Hey guys!" he laughed, waving to everyone on the bus, all of whom stared at him in shock.
"Nice (Nick jingle)ing jalopy, RM!" June laughed. "Why do you need the water jet if you have a god(Nick jingle) electric motor?"
"The electricity not only adds to the thrust," RM replied, "but it also enables me to maneuver it."
The platform crashed into a car in front of him, sending him, Pachirisu, and Sqirt flying over it.
Everyone on the bus laughed.
"Sqirt, Ice Ball!" RM shouted as he and Pachirisu clutched Sqirt as they fell.
They were suddenly encased in ice from Sqirt and they began to roll forward.
"MUD KIP KIP KIP KIP KIP..." Sqirt said.
Everyone on the bus looked on in awe.
"Ice Ball travel is the way of the future!" RM gloated.
Then the Ice Ball smashed into a tree and shattered. Everyone on the bus laughed.
RM wiped the ice off of himself.
"Hi, RM!" Ash said from the top of the tree.
"Ash? Well, I guess this is where you landed."
"Yeah! Hey, you're tall, right? Can you help get me down?"
"Sorry Ash, I'm going to be late for school!" RM replied, and he ran off with Sqirt and Pachirisu.
TO BE CONTINUED
Edited by RayquazaMaster, Jan 15 2015, 02:20 PM.
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RM walked into class with Sqirt and Pachirisu 15 minutes late.
"RM, you're very late," Larry scolded. "And where did you get the coffee?"
"Starbucks," RM replied. "If I hadn't gotten it on my way here I'd've only been 10 minutes late but completely exhausted."
"Why did you get Starbucks if you knew you were going to be even later as a result?"
"I literally just told you, I would've been exhausted if I hadn't gotten it."
"Whatever, sit down and prepare for show and tell."
"Why do we have show and tell in high school?" RM asked.
"Because the plot requires it," Larry replied flatly. "And because this is physics class and everyone had to bring in something physics related. BROCK! You're up!"
"This is PLAYBOY!" Brock proudly proclaimed, holding up a magazine in a bag.
"Brock, this is the seventh week in a row you've shown Playboy in class," Larry groaned. "Keep this up and I might get fired. Again."
"This isn't just any Playboy though," Brock said. "This one is a very rare special edition never-before-seen issue!"
"If it's never been seen before, how do you know it's in the (Nick jingle)ing bag?" June asked with a smug grin.
Brock opened the bag and began to sob uncontrollably when he saw it was empty.
"Next up, how about you, RM?" Larry said. "Since you've finally graced us with your presence."
RM walked up to the front of the classroom and pulled a shrink ray out of his backpack.
"I'd like to demonstrate my shrink ray today!" he said. "But I'll need a volunteer. I would point it at June's chest but it can't get any smaller."
"Go right a-(Nick jingle)ing-head, (Nick jingle)," June snapped. "I dare you."
RM pointed the shrink ray at June and pressed the button but nothing happened.
"Help me, I'm shrinking!" June said mockingly. "Just like RM's chances of ever getting a date!"
Everyone laughed. The bell rang. RM sighed and put his shrink ray in the pocket of his backpack, then began to walk out. Suddenly, it shot a laser at Larry and he found himself shrinking to the size of an ant.
"AAAAAAAAAUGH!" he shouted, but he was too small for anyone to hear him, and besides that, everyone had left anyway.
He suddenly heard crunching behind him. He turned and saw a Rattata eating from a bag of chips on the edge of the desk. It saw him and began to charge towards him.
"HELP!"


RM and the others in the Mansion began to walk home together.
"(Nick jingle) you for that comment before, RM," June snapped.
"After the ride to school, you had it coming, June," RM replied. "You reap what you sow. And you sow seeds of anger."
"Like a Seedot using Bide when all you have are moves that are powerful enough to do a lot of damage but not powerful enough to knock it out!" Ash laughed.
"What he said," RM said.
They saw Rudy and Snap walking home with the other Yaois across the street. Snap gestured for the others to stay, and he ran over to them.
"Hey, buckos," he said, "you guys comin' ta da grand openin' of Jimbles Land tonight?"
"Grand opening?" RM asked.
"Jimbles Land?" Ash asked.
"Yous haven't seen all da fliahs, bucko?" Snap asked. "Dey'ah all ovah town! Everyone who mattahs is gonna be at da grand openin' tonight, bucko! So ya'd bettah come."
He returned to the Yaois and continued home.
"You think my mommy will let us go?" Ash asked RM.
"No," RM replied. "She's been ruling with an iron fist lately. So she won't let us unless we're very persuasive, or at least bribe her. Allow me."
He tossed a PokeBall into the air and his Rayquaza emerged. He, Sqirt, and Pachirisu hopped onto its back and flew off.


They arrived at the Mansion a while later with roses, chocolates, and a diamond for Delia. RM stepped into Delia's room with them.
"Hello, Delia," hey said, handing her everything.
"You obviously want something from me, so what is it, RM?" Delia asked, looking up from the book she was reading, It was Big, Wiggly, and Pink.
"Please, please, PLEASE won't you let me and the others go to the grand opening of Jimbles Land tonight?" RM begged.
"No."
"Delia, you have no authority over anyone in this house except for Ash. You're his mother, not everyone's mother. And anyway, I'm 18, so I don't have to listen to you!"
"Why are you still in school then?" Delia asked smugly.
"Because the plot requires it!" RM shouted, storming out. He pulled out his phone and started a group call with Ash and Brock. "Delia said no, so tonight, we sneak out. Meet me outside the lab at 8:30."
TO BE CONTINUED
Edited by RayquazaMaster, Jan 19 2015, 06:39 PM.
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Meanwhile, deep in space, on the Irken home world...
"Sir, our scouts just found this!" an Irken soldier announced, placing an iPhone on the table in front of the two Almighty Tallest, Almighty Tallest Red and Almighty Tallest Purple.
"I see!" said the Almighty Tallest Purple. "We have taken a prisoner!"
"It's an Apple," the Almighty Tallest Red said flatly.
"Oh. Hello, Apple!" the Almighty Tallest Purple said. "What galaxy are you from?!"
He bumped the main button and a hologram shot out of the front camera. The hologram showed RM, Max, and Clemont in RM's lab.
"Greetings from Planet Earth!" RM said. "I'm RayquazaMaster."
"I'm Clemont," Clemont said.
"And I'm Max!" Max said.
"And I'm Ash!" Ash said as he jumped in front.
"Ash, get the Muk out of here, this is important!" RM shouted.
"But I wanna say hi!" Ash said.
"Fine, but nothing else," Clemont said. "We don't want to cause anything."
"Anyway, you're an alien life form," Max said.
"This is a picture of my mommy!" Ash said, holding up a picture of Delia.
"Ash, would you stop?!" RM demanded.
"Freeze it!" the Almighty Tallest Red commanded.
"That is just what we need for our upcoming ritual!" the Almighty Tallest Purple said.
"TO EARTH!" both shouted.
TO BE CONTINUED
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RM arrived outside the door to the lab at exactly 8:30 to find that literally everyone under 20 in the Mansion, as well as Henry and June, were there.
"Ash, Brock, I thought this would just be us!" he said.
"Well, Ash told everyone," Brock said.
"I wanted everyone to be able to come!" Ash said.
"Well, I wanted it to be inconspicuous," RM replied. "But obviously it can't be. Anyway, come on down to the lab with me."
Everyone followed him down the stairs into the lab.
"So what's the plan, RM?" Brock asked. "Shrinking us down to a minute size so we can get out undetected?"
"That's needlessly complicated and could go wrong at the drop of a hat," RM said. "I was just planning to set up a holographic decoy of Ash sleeping in his bed and then have us leave through the tunnels in the lab."
"Just of Ash?" Brock asked.
"Yeah, because he's the only one whom Delia would check in on while asleep," RM replied. "Now though seeing as Henry and Ash share a room, I'm obviously going to have to set up a holographic decoy of Henry as well."
"You can do that?" Henry asked.
"Yeah, in case somebody needed to be covered for for whatever reason," RM replied as he sat down at his computer and opened an app, "I've had the capability to set up holographic decoys of them in their rooms for a while now, utilizing stills from security camera footage in any given bedroom."
"(Nick jingle)ing stalker," June spat.
"Hey, it's getting us to Jimbles Land now, isn't it?" RM retorted. "Okay, the Henry and Ash decoys are set up. We can leave now."


They soon arrived at the gates of Jimbles Land.
"We'll split up to do whatever we please and meet back here at midnight exactly," RM said, but everyone already was running off.

Ash got onto a roller coaster with a sign that said "Not Jimbles Coaster".
"What is being your name?" a voice asked him as he strapped in.
"Ash Ketchum," he replied.
"NOT JIMBLES NOT JIMBLES NOT JIMBLES," the voice blared as the roller coaster began accelerating so fast Ash had trouble staying in, even with the seat belt.

"Do you do a swearing of use power for good not ungood?" Jimbles Notronbo asked Ash.
"YES! YES!" Ash shouted.
"Ash, you do realize that's not the real Jimbles Notronbo, right?" RM said.
Ash began to cry.
"What talking of are you do?!" Jimbles shouted. "It is I, Jimbles Notronbo! Not costume-wearer person-guy!"

Ash, Brock, and RM got onto the ride named The Butterfly Has Taken Carl.
"HEEEEEEEELP!" Carl Wheezer screamed from the other side of the ride, where his mechanical butterfly had broken away from the rest and was carrying him away.
"So yous came!" Snap laughed as his butterfly flew over RM's. "Ain't ya glad ya did, bucko?"
"Definitely!" RM replied.


At midnight, everyone had gathered at the gates and begun to walk back to the Mansion.
"That was (Nick jingle)ing awesome," June said.
"I had my doubts initially, but I definitely had an excellent time," RM admitted.
"Hey, look, a shooting star!" Ash said as he pointed up towards the night sky. "Make a wish!"
"Ash, wishing on a star doesn't work," RM said. "That's illogical. If it did though, I know what my wish would be."
"No adults!" everyone cheered, June adding several expletives.


Meanwhile, back at the Mansion, Delia heard a noise in the kitchen.
"I told Ash no midnight snacks!" she said.
She got out of her bed and walked into the kitchen to see an Irken soldier sticking a note on the fridge with a magnet. She screamed. The Irken turned around and saw her, and blasted her with a stun gun.
"Delia, what's going on in here?" Professor Oak asked as he walked in.
The Irken shot him with the stun gun too.

A beam of green light came in through the open window and carried the two of them off. All over the Kanto region, other adults were being carried away as well into the Irken spaceships.
TO BE CONTINUED
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RM rubbed his eyes the next morning as he walked down from his room into the kitchen.
"RM, have you seen my mommy?" Ash asked.
"Ash, I just woke up," he replied. "No, I haven't seen her."
"Professor Oak is missing too," Brock said.
"Really?" RM asked. "Anyone else?"
"Seems to be just them," Misty said as she walked into the room followed by everyone else.
"Vanished without a, how you say, trace!" Serena said.
"Trace?" Tracey asked. "Like me?"
"Non."
"What do you mean when you say 'without a trace'?" RM asked.
"That they (Nick jingle)ing vanished without a god(Nick jingle) trace, dip(Nick jingle)," June said.
"Explain this note on the fridge then," RM said as he pulled it off.
There was silence.
"You guys seriously didn't think to check if there was a note?" RM groaned. "Well, anyway, the note says that Delia and Professor Oak went on an impromptu extended vacation to Florida."
"Hidely-ho!"
RM groaned as he saw Barney, Elmo, Rudy, Snap, Harley, Drew, Bert, Ernie, Roger, and Dora come in.
"Okay, who forgot to lock the door?" RM asked.
"My big brother and best friendly-friend-a-loo George W. Bush are gone!" Barney said. He held up a note. "It says they wently-went-went-went-a-roo on an extended vacation to Florida!"
RM grabbed the letter.
"That's bizarre," he said. "The penmanship is identical."
"What does it mean, bucko?" Snap asked.
"I'll tell you what it means," RM replied. "It means no adults! We can do whatever we want!"
"Aren't you an adult though, RM?" Brock asked. "And me as well? And RM's Friend?"
"We're young adults. Like, budding adults."
"And what about Henry and June?"
"They stunted their growth and are eternally in kids' bodies."
"And Roger?"
"Look, the point is, we can do whatever we want!" RM said.
Everyone cheered.


Soon, they found that every adult in Kanto was gone. But they didn't care. They instead had the time of their lives.

Ash approached the local Electric type research facility cautiously. He reached the holding chamber filled with Pikachu.
"Pikachu, use Iron Tail on the computer lock!" Ash commanded.
"Pi... KA!"
The computer exploded and the doors slid open. Hundreds of Pikachu came flooding out.

Meanwhile, in the Beige House, someone was behind the shower curtain.
"WE'RE (Nick jingle)ING IN THE SHOWER!" Daria laughed, both her and Jane completely obscured by the shower curtain.

"I'm walking up the down escalator!" Henry laughed as he did so at Unnamed Mall.
"Nobody gives a (Nick jingle)!" June said.
"Okay," Henry said, stopping.

"I'M FAPPING IN THE SHOWER!" Brock laughed from behind the shower curtain in the Mansion's main bathroom.
"Brock, that's disgusting and nobody needed to know that!" RM gagged as he passed by.

"My clothes don't match, my clothes don't match, I'm out in public and my clothes don't match! Huhuhuhuhuh!" Barney laughed, wearing a bad red and green plaid shirt with pink and orange striped pants.
"Why ah ya even wearin' clothes, bucko?" Snap asked.
"I don'tly-don't-don't-don't-a-roo know!" Barney laughed.

Rudy and Snap had flooded the school's hallways and were jet skiing through them, laughing.
"No jet skis in the hallways!" Larry scolded from his desk, but of course, as he was tiny, nobody heard him. He still was fighting the Rattata.

"WHEEEEEEEE!" Ash laughed as he ran through the streets with a mob of Pikachu. "Pika pika pika!"
"Pika pi!" Pikachu shouted, trying to catch up.

"I'm still doing it!" Brock laughed from in the bathroom. "GO GO GO!"
"Brock, would you shut the Muk up?!" RM shouted. "That's disgusting!"

That night, there was a huge party in the middle of Unnamed Town. Fireworks were going off, everyone was enjoying candy and soda, and all the musically talented people were playing live in concert.
"Best night of my life!" RM laughed. "Two nights in a row, haha!"
Then he fainted of exhaustion.
TO BE CONTINUED
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The next morning, RM pried himself off the sidewalk outside a heavily TP-ed Capitol building.
"What happened last night?" he muttered.
He began to walk through the streets. They were filled with young adults, teenagers, and kids passed out, suffering from hangovers, and doubled over in gastrointestinal pain. He saw Ash throwing up into a bucket being held by Misty, who was holding a bag of ice against her head.
He passed by an electronics store and began to watch the TVs in the window. He saw that Cilan was delivering the news.
"And in related news," he reported, "following the disappearance of ever adult in Kanto, the entire region is in chaos. As you can see, among those who disappeared is Barbie, my co-anchor. Anyway, we're coming to you live from the streets of Unnamed Town, where everyone seems to be, but not willingly. They all seem to be here suffering from the aftermath of last night's citywide party. Let's ask one of them for details."
He turned to Ash. RM realized that he was standing literally right behind him, and turned around to see.
"So Ash," Cilan said, "how are you feeling?"
"I WANT MY MOMMY!" Ash cried.
"You heard it here, folks," Cilan said as he turned to the camera. "This is Cilan, saying I NEED AN ADULT!"
"I sort of was operating under the assumption you were an adult," RM said.
"Sh. Don't spoil the flavor."


That night, RM heard a lot of noise outside the lab door. He went to open it and saw an angry mob outside.
"Oh, hey guys, what're you all angry about?" he asked. "Was there yet another Sonic Boom game released?"
"Every adult in the region is gone and it's all your fault!" Misty shouted.
"How do you know it's my fault?" RM asked. "Have you any proof?"
The mob pushed Ash to the front.
"Hi, RM!" he said, waving.
"What did you tell these people, Ash?" RM asked.
"Just that I went into space with you to launch a satellite you made out of my cellphone that had a message to an alien civilization!"
RM groaned.
"Nicely done."
"Thanks!"
"That was sarcasm."
"Oh."
RM turned to the mob.
"Okay, I've been analyzing satellite feed of the earth for the past few hours," he said, "and I believe I can get us the adults back. The adults were abducted by aliens, as you all likely can tell from what Ash told you. I've found from the satellite feed that the aliens in question are the Irken, as I was able to see their ships arriving and cross reference the images of the ships with other alien spacecraft using an online database. Incidentally, do NOT search 'alien ships' with safe search off. Or at all on DeviantArt. Anyway, all we need to do is get to the Irken home world, find the adults, and bring them back."
"How would we do dat, bucko?" Snap demanded.
"We need to build a fleet of spaceships," RM replied. "Luckily, Clemont, Max, and I can assist you all with that. Meet me at Jimbles Land at dawn."
TO BE CONTINUED
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After several long days of hard work at Jimbles Land, everyone who remained on Unnamed Island had successfully built a fleet of rockets from the attractions there. RM stood on the stage and delivered his speech to mark their completion.
"Citizens of Unnamed Island," he said, "we leave today on a dangerous but vital mission."
"Dangerous?" Henry asked. "Nobody said this would be dangerous!"
"I didn't say it because I assumed it would be obvious," RM replied flatly. "Anyway, yes, it's dangerous. We might not even get out of the Earth's atmosphere. But I'm 95% sure we'll at least get that far!"
"What about the other (Nick jingle)ing 5%?" June asked as she put out her cigarette.
"We blow up."
Everyone began talking among themselves.
"But that's only 5%!" RM protested.
"Does NASA operate on those odds?!" Roger asked.
"Well, obviously not, but..."
"Everyone shut up," RM's Friend said as he took the stage. "We need to save the adults. We did all this work already. I don't like my work being for nothing. We're going to go, and if we die in the process, it'll be an awesome death. Muahahaha..."
Everyone was silent.
"Thanks, Onii-sama," RM said, "for those encouraging and somewhat morbid words. Anyway, WHO'S WITH ME?!"
Everyone cheered.
"Good! Now let's get into our spaceships and save the adults!"
Everyone ran into their spaceships, except RM, who boarded his Rayquaza, ready to Mega Evolve.
"On my mark, everyone will lift off," he said into his megaphone. He began the countdown. "Three!"
People began to start their engines.
"Two!"
The engines pulsed.
"One!"
The entire fleet lifted off into the air, shooting up into the atmosphere and into space.


After nearly a day of nonstop travel, they reached an asteroid and set up camp.
"And da woist paht was, dey didn't have any tissues," Snap said as he told Ash a ghost story around the campfire RM had made within one of the rockets.
"N-no tissues?" Ash choked.
"Nope. And den, dey huhd a noise, so dey began ta leave da tent-"
"DON'T LEAVE THE TENT! DON'T LEAVE THE TENT!"
"Uh, yeah, dey leave da tent, bucko!" Snap said.
"Snap, stop, you're scaring him," Rudy said. "Maybe we should all go outside."
They left the rocket to find RM grooming Rayquaza and staring up at the stars.
"You okay, RM?" Ash asked.
"Yeah, I was just observing the stars," RM said. "You know, in high school, at the science olympiad, I got a gold medal in astronomy three years in a row."
"Nice and modest, bucko," Snap said.
"See, over there you can see Alpha Centauri," RM continued. "And that there is Sirius."
"I guess ya ah pretty smaht, bucko," Snap mumbled.
Ash lay down on the ground.
"I miss my mommy!" he said. "Before my mommy was kidnapped by aliens, when I couldn't sleep, she would rub my belly and say 'nahni nahni nahni~'!"
"...What?" Snap asked.
"Nothing!"
TO BE CONTINUED
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After about another day and a half of space travel, the fleet arrived on the Irken home world.
"Alright team, listen up," RM said to everyone when they gathered bearing weapons on the outskirts of the capital. "We need this infiltration to run smoothly, like machinery."
"RM, you have literally no experience with this sort of thing," Clemont pointed out.
"I've played Fire Emblem," RM replied. "And if that's not close enough, then I've also read a fair amount about major historical battles, sieges, invasions, and infiltrations. Anyway, silver team searches for the adults. Gold team handles backup. Understood?"
"Gold team rules!" Henry cheered. June slapped him.
"Okay, let's do this!" RM said.


RM led his group of about 15 stealthily into the Irken capital. Eventually they came across a group of Irken leading the adults, who were wearing strange suits and helmets resembling GIR, towards a stadium-like structure.
"Guys, this way," he whispered to the rest of his group.
He threw several smoke bombs towards the Irken who were leading the adults, and soon the area was filled with black smoke. He approached Professor Oak.
"Professor," he whispered. "It's me, RM. We're here to save you!"
But there was no response.
He poked Professor Oak, and suddenly Professor Oak responded.
"Are you a boy or a girl?" Professor Oak asked.
"A boy, Professor, we've been over this several times," RM groaned.
"This is my grandson," Professor Oak said, pointing to Gary, who stood next to RM. "He's been your rival since your were babies! What was his name again?"
"Oxenskit," RM replied.
"HEY!" Gary snapped.
"Look, Professor, we're here to save you and the others," RM said. "It's me. RM."
"R...M?" Then Professor Oak seemed to have his memory return to him. "Ah, that's right! It was RM! Hi! Um... RM. What's going on?"
"The Irken have kidnapped you and every other adult in Kanto," RM said. "You're in the capital city of the Irken home world, and it seems that you've been sedated somehow to make you unresponsive to stimuli. I feel like it has to do with the helmet you're wearing."
"Oh, let me take it off then!" Professor Oak replied.
"Professor, that'd be highly inadvisable-" RM began, but Professor Oak pulled at the helmet anyway. It clamped down on his head and covered his eyes. He pointed at RM and a siren sounded.
"INTRUDER ALERT! INTRUDER ALERT!" he shouted.
All the other adults turned in the same direction, and the same thing happened with the helmets. RM and his group were instantly surrounded by Irken soldiers.


The soldiers brought RM and his group into a room with the Almighty Tallest Red and Purple.
"Welcome, our guests of honor," the Almighty Tallest Red crowed.
"Allow me to introduce us," the Almighty Tallest Purple said. "I am the Almighty Tallest Purple. And this is the Almighty Tallest Red."
"Hey, Red!" Ash shouted, elbowing Red. "Look, it's you!"
Red held up a sign that said "Shut the Muk up Ash, now isn't the time."
"You know I can't read!"
"I've already sent the distress signal," RM said. "Our highly trained backup force will be here any moment to free us and bring you to your knees."
"This backup force?" the Almighty Tallest Red laughed as the door behind RM and his group opened and Irken soldiers brought in the other group.
"Let us go, bucko!" Snap shouted, thrashing against the handcuffs he was put in. "Let us go, let us go, don't hold us back anymoah!"
"Snap, I really don't think now is the time," Rudy said.
"Hidely-ho, RM!" Barney laughed.
"What the (Nick jingle) did you just (Nick jingle)ing say about me, you little (Nick jingle)?" June shouted at one of the Irken soldiers. "I'll have you know I graduated at the top of my class in the Navy Seals, and I've been involved in numerous secret raids-"
"June, stop, no you haven't," Henry sighed.
June slapped him again.
RM looked back up at the Almighty Tallest Red and Purple sheepishly.
"Yeah, this would be the highly trained backup force I mentioned," he said.
"Anyway, it is most fortuitous that your satellite reached us when it did," the Almighty Tallest Purple said. "We got precisely what we needed when we needed it. Just in time for the ceremony."
"The ceremony?" RM asked.
"Why yes!" the Almighty Tallest Red said. "We needed live sacrifices for the ceremony celebrating our greatest creation: the mighty GigaGIR!"
"Sacrifices?!" Ash shouted. "You mean my mommy is going to be killed?!"
"All the adults are gonna be killed, Ashy-boy!" Gary gasped. "Grandpa!"
"Yes, precisely!" the Almighty Tallest Red replied.
"And it's all thanks to RM!" the Almighty Tallest Purple said.
"Ash was the one who showed a picture of his mother in the satellite's video though!" RM protested.
"But who built the satellite and sent it out into space?" the Almighty Tallest Red prompted.
"Well, me," RM said, "but Clemont and Max-"
"Nope, not us!" Clemont said hastily as he noticed the glares that were beginning to be directed at him.
"Totally RM!" Max added as he noticed the same.
"Face it, RM, you're the cause of all this," the Almighty Tallest Red said.
"And we thank you ever so much for it..." the Almighty Tallest Purple said with a demonic grin. "GUARDS! Take these prisoners to the dungeons!"
As they were all marched into the dungeons, RM could feel everyone's enraged glares.
TO BE CONTINUED
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RayquazaMaster
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Du arg, bror?
"Well, looks like this is how it ends," Brock muttered. "Trapped in an alien prison."
"It's times like this I ask myself," Ash said, "WHAT WOULD BUZZ LIGHTYEAR DO?!"
"Hm, what WOULD Buzz Lightyear do?" June snarked. "Maybe sit on his shelf BECAUSE HE'S A (Nick jingle)ING TOY?!"
Meanwhile, RM sat in a separate cell with Sqirt and Pachirisu. He was hunched over sitting on a rock, facing away from everyone in the other cell.
Sailor Pikachu approached the wall between the cells.
"RM?" she said. "I know you think it's your fault the adults were abducted, and that we're now here to die, but it really wasn't your fault. And the others may be mad at you, but I honestly am not. You're my friend, and when someone messes up, their friends are supposed to be there for them. So please, don't feel bad."
Then RM turned to face her. He had in actuality been hunched over because he had been on his 3DS playing Pokemon Alpha Sapphire.
"I appreciate what you're saying, Sailor Pikachu," he said, "but I'm a little bit busy breeding for a shiny Adaptability Skrelp with Play Rough."
Sailor Pikachu facepalmed.
"Here I thought you were in a state of self-loathing," she said, "and yet you were just playing Pokemon?!"
"Basically," RM replied. "Honestly, I have no remorse for what I did, seeing as I didn't do anything. How could I have known my satellite would reach a volatile alien civilization and that they would abduct every adult in Kanto?"
"That's basically exactly what I was trying to tell you," Sailor Pikachu mumbled. She shook her head. "Anyway, any ideas on how to get out?"
"Sqirt's been using Dig," RM replied, pointing to a hole in front of him. Sqirt's tail was sticking out of it. "Soon enough he and Pachirisu ought to get to the other side of the walls and take out the guards. Then I follow through the hole and take the keys from a guard and unlock the cell you guys are in."
"Awesome!" Sailor Pikachu said. "I'll tell the others!"


Sqirt reached the other side of the walls and emerged from the hole with Pachirisu.
"The prisoners are escaping!" one of the guards shouted. "Get them!"
Pachirisu launched a Discharge, stunning all of the guards. Sqirt followed up with Surf.
"WATER!" the guards screamed as the water melted their skin.
They dropped to the floor, dead.
RM crawled out of the hole and grabbed one of the guards' keys.
"Well done!" RM said, patting both Sqirt and Pachirisu on the head.
He walked over to the keyhole and unlocked the cell. Everyone rushed to the cell door.
"What's the plan, RM?" PlatinumMage asked.
"We go to the stadium they were leading the adults into," RM replied, handing out the guards' weapons. "We defeat GigaGIR, whatever that is, save the adults, and return home."


They reached the entrance of the stadium and glanced in. Inside, they saw all of Kanto's adults standing in a ring around a giant lift door on the stadium floor.
"Irken!" the Almighty Tallest Red said. "Our greatest ceremony begins!"
Everyone cheered.
The Almighty Tallest Purple pressed a button on a remote, and the adults began to dance in a familiar fashion while singing the Doom Song.
"They're dancing like... GIR," RM whispered.
"Nah, my grandpa always dances like that!" Gary replied.
The lift door began to open and the lift began to rise.
"Bucko, I'm headin' in theah and defeatin' GigaGIR myself!" Snap said to Rudy as he ran in, armed with a plasma gun.
"My hero!" Rudy squealed.
Snap froze in his tracks as he looked up at the now fully emerged GigaGIR. It was basically just like GIR, only at least thirty stories high.
"TACOS!" it bellowed.
Snap screamed and ran back out of the stadium.
"My... hero?" Rudy muttered.
"It's going to eat the adults," RM shouted. "Everyone, charge!"
Everyone dashed in and began using their weapons to fend off GigaGIR from eating the adults.
"Guards, stop them!" the Almighty Tallest Purple commanded.
Irken guards rushed into the arena.
"Use them to your advantage!" RM commanded. "Knock them into GigaGIR's mouth, use their motion to disorient GigaGIR, lure them into attacking and then get out of the way so they attack GigaGIR! I don't care how you do it, but I refuse to lose anyone in this battle! This is real, so treat it like it is! Or better yet, treat it like a Nuzlocke Challenge!"
"RM sure has his priorities straight when it comes to what counts as 'better yet'," PlatinumMage mumbled as he dodged a laser cannon that ended up instead hitting GigaGIR in the eye.
GigaGIR bellowed in pain.
"No!" the Almighty Tallest Red shouted.
"Reinforcements!" the Almighty Tallest Purple shouted. "We need more reinforcements!"
"Pachirisu, use Nuzzle!"
The Almighty Tallest Purple turned, but it was too late. RM was standing right behind him and Pachirisu smashed into him, rubbing her cheeks against him and leaving him paralyzed. The remote flew from his hand and RM caught it. RM began to march the adults out of the stadium.
"NO!" the Almighty Tallest Red hissed. He ran to RM.
"Nuzzle!" RM commanded.
"Pachi pa!" Pachirisu squealed as she rubbed her cheeks against the Almighty Tallest Red, leaving him paralyzed too.
RM, Sqirt, and Pachirisu continued up to the very top of the stadium.
"What's RM doing?!" May shouted as she stabbed an Irken soldier with a plasma bayonet.
Pachirisu climbed onto RM's left shoulder. Sqirt climbed onto his right shoulder. RM walked forward on the spit that overlooked the stadium and neared the edge.
"Is he-?" PlatinumMage gasped.
"Oh my Arceus," Sailor Pikachu choked.
"Sqirt, use Surf!" RM shouted.
He jumped with Sqirt and Pachirisu, and the three began to fall.
"RM!" Ash shouted as he bashed in an Irken soldier's head with an iron club.
"NO!" RM's Friend shouted.
Nobody even cared that he was showing such an unusual level of emotion. They all stared in horror at RM as he fell. Sqirt generated a huge wave that crashed down on the entire stadium. All the Irken screamed in terror and agony as the water burned their skin. Everyone cringed and closed their eyes.

As the water cleared, no Irken remained, and GigaGIR lay on the floor, crackling with electricity. Everyone looked up, looking for RM.
"RM?" Ash called.
"Pika?" Pikachu murmured.
"Ash, I think RM might be gone," Henry said.
"(Nick jingle)," June muttered, beginning to cry.
Suddenly, a roar sounded. Everyone looked up and...
"RAAAAAAAY!"
It was RM riding alongside Sqirt and Pachirisu on Rayquaza!
Everyone began to cheer. Rayquaza landed and RM recalled it to its PokeBall.
"Never scare us like that again," Sailor Pikachu said, hugging RM.
Suddenly the electrical crackling of the fallen GigaGIR grew louder.
"It's going to blow!" Clemont shouted.
"RUN!" added Bonnie.
Everyone made a dash for the stadium's entrance and joined up with the adults just outside as GigaGIR exploded.


Later, on the rocket on the way home, everyone was reunited with the adults closest to them. RM was walking through the rocket after putting it on autopilot to go back to Earth.
He passed by Delia rubbing Ash's belly.
"Nahni nahni nahni!" she sang.
Ash giggled.
RM smiled and continued on his walk.
"Big brother!" Barney squealed as he hugged Barney Frank.
Barney Frank tried to hide his smile and hugged Barney back.
"Ah, whatever," he muttered.
"Bucko," Snap said as he approached RM, "ya done good."
He handed RM a lollipop.
"Thanks Snap," RM replied. He kept walking and put the lollipop in his mouth, cringing and spitting it out when he discovered it was made of chalk.
"When we get home, we are going DANCING!" Professor Oak declared to Gary. He began to dance like GIR.
"Grandpa, no!" Gary sighed.


RM found Max and Clemont in the rocket's control center when he returned to it.
"RM, we're really sorry we threw you under the bus like that before," Max said.
"When we thought you were dead, we didn't know how we would live with ourselves," Clemont said. "Betraying you like that and then losing you forever..."
"Hey, don't worry about it," RM replied. "What matters is everyone's alright now, and we're headed home."
THE END


*Cue the Jimmy Neutron theme song. As it plays, pictures of the characters appear and disappear with information of what happened afterwards.

Ash finally broke the curse of always having his Water type starter Pokemon not evolve, with the evolution of his Froakie into Frogadier. This in no way brought him any amount closer to being a Pokemon master.

Pikachu encountered a parallel Pikachu from another universe with the exact reverse personality. They teamed up, and I for one welcome our new rodent overlords.

Brock got a date for Valentine's Day with Officer Jenny. It ended abruptly when he asked if she had ever used her handcuffs for bondage.

Misty returned to being gym leader in Cerulean City. The heat from her temper evaporated all the water in the pool.

Tracey's sketches landed in an art museum. Because he accidentally left his sketchbook on the floor there and patrons weren't sure if it was an exhibit or not.

Professor Oak's memory and recognition issues improved, and he now knows his grandson's name is Gary and RM is a boy. This lasted until a particularly strong hug from Ash's Muk.

Delia met once again with Ash's father. He ran away again, terrified, when he saw her collection of erotic novels.

May was relieved to no longer be with RM and have his feelings directed towards Zinnia now instead. Until she met her and Zinnia nearly caused Hoenn to be destroyed by a meteor.

Max became a renowned Pokemon researcher. He was dismayed, however, that this meant he had to change his name to the name of a tree.

Dawn returned to Sinnoh to tell Kenny her true feelings. She soon realized she had the wrong Kenny when he was killed by aliens.

Iris met Ash's new Goomy, and due to her fear of Ice types and Goomy's fear of Fairy types, they quickly bonded. Ash hasn't seen it since, and Axew hasn't seen Iris since.

Cilan returned to merely being a gym leader and a Pokemon connoisseur. And a cook. And a waiter. And a fisherman. And a detective. And a trainspotter. And...

Clemont became a world-renowned inventor like Thomas Edison. Also like Thomas Edison, it was revealed he stole most of his best ideas from people he claimed were his friends.

Bonnie finally found the perfect wife for Clemont. In a dating sim Brock left in her room by mistake.

Jessie, James, and Meowth took a disguise seminar. They were swiftly booted out after mistakenly thinking that disrobing would work as a good disguise.

Gary resumed his Pokemon researcher job. None of his colleagues take him seriously seeing as he is "Gary Mother****ing Oak".

Paul went on a journey of self discovery after deeming himself pathetic. He is now the most enlightened man in the world.

Red finally said his first words. They were "...!".

Barry decided to become a traffic court judge, as issuing fines is literally in the job description. He quickly became the most despised traffic court judge in history.

Henry and June embraced the obscurity that their show had slipped into, and decided to live the rest of their lives as a normal, not famous, married couple. They soon instead became famous for having stunted their aging.

RM made the dean's list and started his sophomore year of college halfway through what would've been his freshman year. A social life still eludes him.

Due to new Mudkip merchandise following the release of Omega Ruby and Alpha Sapphire, Sqirt found himself lost in a room in RM's Mansion filled with RM's new Mudkip plushes with no way out. And thus, the world was saved.

Pachirisu, following the 2014 Pokemon Video Game Championships, ditched RM for SeJun Park. Rumor has it she'll be entering the 2015 VGC as well.

RM's Friend and RM fell out of contact, but both know precisely what the other is up to regardless. In RM's Friend's case, he's reading manga and is well aware of RM failing at having a social life.

Sailor Pikachu became the most popular idol in Kanto. Despite this and her efficient characterization, many readers still are under the impression that she is a Pikachu dressed as Sailor Moon and erroneously credit RM with predicting the Cosplay Pikachu of Omega Ruby and Alpha Sapphire.

PlatinumMage got efficient characterization. Just kidding, he's still upset with his own character for lacking efficient characterization.

Larry was found still fighting the Rattata three days later after he didn't show up for any of his jobs those three days. His many bosses still haven't figured out how to get him back to normal size.

Barbie was attacked by social justice bloggers for allegedly trying to make girls conform to male expectations of beauty for girls. She fought back with her new job, Good Social Justice Advocate Barbie, and forced them to check their privileges for making sexist assumptions.

Harley made a mod of a Pokemon game where every single Pokemon was replaced with Cacturne. It's currently the third least popular Pokemon hack of all time.

Drew attended an anime convention with the Yaoi House and was lost in a group of Sailor Moon cosplayers, with the Yaois mistaking a Tuxedo Mask cosplayer for him. He's happier without them.

Dora the Explorer underwent a growth spurt, turning her into a teenager literally overnight. As a result, her old show was cancelled and she now stars in a new one, with Boots suspiciously absent.

Barney was arrested once again on charges of pedophilia. Nobody wanted to share his cell.

Barney Frank bailed his brother out of jail using money he had been saving for a political campaign. Now all his dreams truly are dead.

Snap proposed to Rudy after a relationship of over a decade. Rudy said yes, and the two now live happily with their adopted daughters Elsa and Anna.

George W. Bush faded into obscurity and is mostly out of the news. Everyone with a brain is relieved.

Elmo's Tavern spread into other regions, and eventually even reached Springfield, driving Moe's Tavern out of business. Moe works for Elmo now.

Bert and Ernie developed a strong Tumblr fandom, as both were exceptionally relatable. Ernie soon became nervous that the two of them would merge and morph into the ultimate Tumblr user.

Doug got over his difficult past with Barney and now is friends with him. He's such a good friend he even shared his favorite grenade with him.

Roger attempted to confess his feelings to Doug, but while doing so encountered Doug Walker. Thinking it was some cruel joke, Doug Walker beat him senseless.

Daria and Jane enjoyed their show's cult following. They did NOT enjoy the fans who completely ignored their feelings for each other and instead shipped them with characters they weren't remotely interested in.

Buzz Lightyear married Woody Pride and is no longer Mrs. Nesbit. Now he goes by Mrs. Pride. Woody dislikes this as it sounds like a women's magazine and he is not a magazine, HE! IS! A! TOY!

Yep, you guys know the drill. Not even close to the end. But if I had to guess, I'd say I'm already halfway there! *squeak* Halfway there! *squeak* Halfway there!*

A secret service agent knocked on the door of the Beige House main bathroom.
"Madam President?"
"WE'RE STILL DOING IT!" he heard Jane shout.
"GO GO GO!" he heard Daria add.
Edited by RayquazaMaster, Feb 6 2015, 11:34 PM.
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