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Pokemon Squad! Episode 137; The World According to Barney Frank
Topic Started: Oct 8 2014, 05:17 PM (59 Views)
RayquazaMaster
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Du arg, bror?
"I honestly can't believe my idiot brother sometimes," Barney Frank muttered as he sat down in the living room of the Yaoi House. "Arrested again for the third time in as many months. And for what? Attempting to abduct a child. He's just disgusting."
"Dat's notin', bucko," Snap said.
"Yeah, one time before you showed up here he kidnapped a huge number of young Pokemon trainers so he could pull this elaborate scheme posing as Ash's uncle to kidnap him as revenge for Sailor Pikachu accidentally killing Baloney," Rudy said.
"I got arrested as a direct result of it, bucko," Snap groaned.
"What the actual (Nick jingle) was going through his head?!" Barney Frank asked.
"Beats me, bucko," Snap said.
"None of us understand him," Rudy added.
"Well maybe it's time one of us does," Barney Frank said. "Or better yet, maybe it's also time somebody listens to me about my brother. I can't believe Ash still likes him after that."
"What are ya gonna do 'bout it, bucko?" Snap asked.
"Kidnap Ash."
"Oh, okay- WAIT, WHAT, BUCKO?!"
*cue opening sequence like this only with the Pokemon Squad cast instead of the 3rd Rock From the Sun cast
*
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RayquazaMaster
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Du arg, bror?
"I'll get it!" Ash said when he heard the knock at the door. He opened it to see Barney Frank.
"Come with me, Ash," Barney Frank said.
"But why?"
"I'm kidnapping you."
"But why?"
"Not any reason like why my idiot brother would. But you'll see. Now come with me."
"But why?"
"Is that all you can say?! You're at least as stupid as my brother..."
Barney Frank grabbed Ash, put him over his shoulder, and carried him to the Yaoi House.

"Has anyone seen Ash?" Delia asked a few hours later.
"No, not since he went to answer the door a while ago," Misty said.
"You don't think he was kidnapped, do you?" RM asked.
"I don't know but I saw Barney Frank walk off with him!" Tracey said.
"Ash has been kidnapped!" Delia screamed.
"I've just gotta sketch this!" Tracey exclaimed.
"Somebody head over to the Yaoi House to check," RM said. "I'm sure it's not as serious as that."

Meanwhile, in the basement of the Yaoi House, Barney Frank had put Ash in one of Barney's time-out cages.
Ash was singing sadly and badly.
"Nobody knows the trouble I've seen," Ash sang.
"No, no, sing something with a little more bounce in it!" Barney Frank scolded, irritated by the dismal song.
"It's a small world after all!" Ash sang.
"No, no, anything but that!" Barney Frank groaned.
"I've got a lovely bunch of coconuts," Ash sang, "here they are ascending in a row."
"Much better," Barney Frank chuckled.
"I still don't get why you kidnapped me," Ash said.
"Well, I guess it's time I explained myself then," Barney Frank replied, putting on a top hat and sequin bow-tie and grabbing a cane.

"Overshadowed by my younger brother
Ever since his hatching 200 MYA
Everything that he's done
Nothing's given me fun
But he never fails to stun
Me with his stupidity to this daaaaaaaaay..."

At this point Haruhi Suzumiya, Yuki Nagato, and Mikuru Asahina came into the room in bunny suits and formed a kicking line. Barney Frank continued to sing, now to an upbeat ragtime beat.

"Overshadowed by my younger brother
It's his fault that I'm not the prez!
If I could make a wish with the signing of a contract
I'd be superior to him no matter what he says!

We survived the mass extinction together
Just the two of us in a cardboard box
I got out ahead of him to start my legend
But once I'm out of the hospital, everyone says "Barney rocks!"

Overshadowed by my younger brother
In everything we do, good or bad!
I know these wishes ain't rule-free, but I'm sure that
If I wished for him dead not a soul would be sad!

It was my work that got me elected
And his fault that I was impeached
To get popular like him all that I tried to do
Was emulate his cheery and optimistic speech

Overshadowed by my younger brother
When he kidnapped dozens of trainers!
All that I can succeed in doing is bringing you here
To listen to me get out my emotions in verse!"

"But what does this have to do with me?" Ash asked.

"Since he kidnapped you
And I kidnapped you too
And I've been feelin' blue
I want you to
Listen to my song before we say adieu! HEY!

I gotta blast it from the top of my lungs
and shout from the bottom of my heart!
Boy, do I ever hate my brother!
I despise that obnoxious little fart!

Overshadowed by my younger brother
He blew up a spaceship, for the love of Pete!
It's like my life's in another castle
And I just can't get there because of the heat!

Overshadowed by my younger brother
Overshadowed by my younger brother
Overshadowed by my younger brotheeeeeeeeeer!

So Ashy-Boy I brought you here to hear me, hear me
Here to hear me, hear me
Here to hear me, hear me!
My song of how I feel!"

Ash stared at Barney Frank.
"I think I get it," he said. "But let's hear it once more; I wasn't listening."
Barney Frank groaned and dropped his cane as the SOS Brigade left.
"You really are at least as stupid as him," he muttered.

The doorbell rang.
"Elmo will get it!" Ash and Barney Frank heard from upstairs. "Oh, hi, RM! Elmo is so happy to see RM!"
"RM!" Ash said gleefully. He reached through the bars of the cage and unlocked it.
"Thanks for nothing, Ash," Barney Frank groaned as Ash ran off.
Rudy and Snap approached him.
"Feelin' bettah now dat ya got yo feelin's out, bucko?" Snap asked.
"I guess so," Barney Frank said.
His phone vibrated. He turned it on to see an email from Haruhi Suzumiya about the bill for the SOS Brigade's performance.
"On second thought no," he muttered through clenched teeth.
THE END

Enter at your own peril!
Past the bolted doors!
Where impossible things may happen
That you've never seen before!

In RM's laboratory
Live the smartest boys you've ever seen!
But Ash blows RM's, Max's, and Clemont's projects to smithereens!
There is doom and gloom while things go boom
In RM's lab!
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