Welcome Guest [Log In] [Register]
Hidely-ho! Welcome to PokeTown 2. We hope you enjoy your visit.


You're currently viewing our forum as a guest. This means you are limited to certain areas of the board and there are some features you can't use. If you join our community, you'll be able to access member-only sections, and use many member-only features such as customizing your profile, sending personal messages, and voting in polls. Registration is simple, fast, and completely free.


Join our community!


If you're already a member please log in to your account to access all of our features:

Username:   Password:
Add Reply
Pokemon Squad! Episode 134; The Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Life of Timothy Green
Topic Started: Oct 3 2014, 07:55 PM (71 Views)
RayquazaMaster
Member Avatar
Du arg, bror?
Cruisin' on down High Street
You're relaxed and feeling good
Next thing that you know you're seein'
A purple pedo in the neighborhood!

Surfin' on a Stunfisk
Swingin' at Elmo's bar
Take a trip through town with Doug
Tryin' to destroy Barney's car!

With the POKEMON SQUAD!
Not with the Yaoi House
Hang with the POKEMON SQUAD!
Experiment in RM's lab
Our friends the POKEMON SQUAD!
Stranded on an island twice
With the POKEMON SQUAD!
Dressed up totally fab!

So strap Tabootie to the seat (Rudy: "HEY!")
Come on in and don't be shy
Just to make you so done with life
You can't leave, don't even try!

With the POKEMON SQUAD!
Can't eject the tape, there's no escape!
Come on, hang with the POKEMON SQUAD!
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
RayquazaMaster
Member Avatar
Du arg, bror?
"RM, I can't believe you!" Clemont shouted. "I have you babysit Bonnie for twenty minutes and she winds up destroying half of our latest inventions!"
"Big brother, they were destroyed when they were built," Bonnie said smugly.
"Look, I tried my best to control her," RM said.
"And this happened?! I hope you never have kids of your own," Clemont said. "If you do there'll be serious problems. For the kids and for everyone around them."
"Haha, (Nick jingle) you RM," June laughed as she walked by. "You're at least as bad a parental figure as the Turners are, (Nick jingle)er!"
"I am not!" RM protested. "I would be an excellent parent!"
"No (Nick jingle)ing way, (Nick jingle)head," June laughed. "No (Nick jingle)ing way."
She walked away, laughing. RM fumed.


Later, RM sat in his room writing something down on some cards and putting them in a box.
Red walked in with a sign that said, "What are you doing?"
"June said I would be a terrible parent," RM said. "So I decided to do something I saw in a movie once. I'm writing stuff that would be true of my kid and putting it in a box which I'll bury."
Red held up a sign that said, "That was a terrible movie."
"Yes it was," RM replied.
"*groan*" said the sign Red held up. He then held up another sign that said, "Well, what are some examples?"
"Well, for starters, he would be a genius!" RM said. "Just like his daddy! And he'd call me far, which is Swedish for father. He'd be an awesome Pokemon trainer, again just like his daddy. Basically he'd be me only with an actual social life."
"You shouldn't try to make your kid a better version of yourself," Red's sign read. "You should get a parenting book or something."
"I don't need anyone else's help with parenting!" RM snapped. "But I did buy a parenting book. It's called We're Good Parents, We Swear! by Timmy Turner's Mom Turner and Timmy Turner's Dad Turner! It should give me any additional info I need!"
Red facepalmed and walked out.
"Hey, where are you going?" RM called. "Whatever, time to bury this box!"

He ran out to the backyard with a shovel and buried the box, then watered it and waited. That night, he went to sleep and was awoken by noises coming from the yard.
"YES! I'm a father!" he said gleefully as he ran out.
He saw a young boy with brown hair covered in dirt crawling out of the ground where he had buried the box.
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" RM screamed. "NOT HIM! NOT TIMOTHY GREEN!"
"RM, that's not very nice!" Delia scolded as she walked out into the yard. "He's your child and your responsibility, regardless of whether or not you hate his movie and character!"
"Well," RM said, "how did you feel that day back in 1986 when you went to the doctor and found out that you were pregnant?"
"Okay, so Ash WAS unplanned!" Delia replied. "But I still love him! And anyway, this child was born just for you, so he's your responsibility!"
RM groaned.
"Fine," he muttered. "Come on, Byakuya-"
"My name is Timothy," Timothy Green interrupted.
"It's Byakuya Togami Jr. now," RM replied.
Just then Byakuya Togami appeared with his hand held out.
"¥50,000 payment for use of my name," he said to RM.
RM dug through his pajama pocket and pulled out the money, handing it to Togami.
"Here," he said.
Delia stared at him.
"What? Of course I keep money in my pajamas!" RM said. "What if I get run out of town by an angry mob before I get the chance to get dressed and gather my belongings?"
Delia walked back into the Mansion.
"Thank you," Togami said, taking the money. "Have a nice night, peasant."
He left.
"Okay, Byakuya," RM said, turning to Timothy Green. "Let's go inside and get you washed off."
TO BE CONTINUED
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
RayquazaMaster
Member Avatar
Du arg, bror?
"Okay, Byakuya," RM said when the two of them were in the bathroom. "You need a bath to get all that dirt off of you. Take care of that."
He began to walk out.
"Wait," Timothy said. "I can't do that! I don't know how!"
"I'm not touching a small naked child," RM said. "I'm not Barney."
"Did somebody say BARNEY?!" Barney laughed as he burst in.
"Barney, how many times must I tell you that you're not welcome in the Mansion?!" RM hissed.
"I was welcome when the Teletubbies were taking over the earth!"
"That was different!"
"Anyway," Barney said, "you have an absolutely adorable little kiddly-kid-kid-kid-a-roo! Can I touch him?"
RM took his parenting book out of his pocket.
"If a suspicious person who may potentially be violent or in any way dangerous offers to babysit your child," the book read, "say yes! What's the worst that can happen?"
"Okay, Barney, if you want you can give him a bath," RM replied. "But no funny business. You understand?"
"Yeppers!" Barney laughed. "Huhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuh! Bath time!"


"I can't believe you kicked Barney!" RM said as he walked Timothy out of the bathroom after his bath. "And in the groin of all places! Good job! Let's see what my parenting book says about praising your child," he said as he pulled out the book again.
"If your child does something great, then good for them!" the book read. "But they're never going to do anything remotely impressive except let you down on a regular basis, so just ignore anything and everything they do!"
"Oh..." RM muttered. "Looks like I'm parenting wrong. Well, I'll just ignore that you kicked Barney and I'll send you right to bed."


The next morning, Timothy came down into the kitchen and asked RM where breakfast was.
"I can't and don't cook," RM replied. "But let's see what the parenting book says."
He opened the book.
"Food is important for your child!" the book read. "Whether or not you can cook doesn't matter! Even if your food is somewhat toxic, feed your child, or else they'll be scrawny like our son Timmy! Actually come to think of it, maybe our terrible cooking is why he's so scrawny!"
"Well, looks like I need to try some cooking then!" RM said.
Fifteen minutes later, RM presented Timothy with a small cup of flames.
"Instant ramen," RM declared. "Just add water! I may have added too little water, but enjoy! Though you might want to put out the flames first."
Timothy just stared at the cup.
"Hurry up," RM said, "or you'll be late for school!"
"Can't you give me a ride to school?"
"Well according to the parenting book, since my work starts before your school day, I should put my needs before yours! So sorry, but no, I can't. I trust this parenting book, it hasn't lied to me before!"
"Work? What work?"
"Being a Pokemon master and inventor," RM replied. "I work from home. Now you don't want to be late for school!"


Later that day, Timothy returned home from school crying.
"What's the matter, Byakuya?" RM asked him over a snack of heavily burnt pumpkin bread he had baked for Timothy.
"I was bullied at school today!" Timothy said. "For my leaves around my ankles, for being late, and for being the new kid!"
"Well, let's see what the parenting book says about this," RM said. "Bullying is a serious issue and can't be tolerated after all!"
"If your child is bullied at school," the book read, "run away! You don't want to get bullied too! Nothing is more embarrassing than being bullied by a ten year old when you're an adult! And more than just your feelings might get hurt! RUN!"
RM began to sweat.
"Well Byakuya," he said, "I don't want to get beaten up. So it's your problem. Bye!"
He ran off.

Timothy didn't see RM again until dinner, which was a wad of blackened spaghetti covered in what probably was meat sauce but looked more like dust.
"Don't let them bully me!" RM squeaked as he saw Timothy.
"Nobody is going to bully you, Dad!" Timothy said.
"Good," RM said, breathing a sigh of relief. "I have a very low pain threshold. Also, call me far, not dad."
He opened up his newspaper and began to read.
"So other than the bullying at school," Timothy began, "today I-"
"There's a sale at Nintendo World!" RM suddenly exclaimed, running off.
"What are you doing?" Timothy called after him.
"Don't worry," RM called back, "according to the book leaving your child completely unattended is totally fine, though sadistic babysitters are preferable!"

"Dad, could I ask you something?" Timothy asked RM as he approached him in bed that night.
"Far..." RM replied.
"Could you try parenting NOT from that book?" he asked him. "It's really making me feel awful, and I don't like it."
"Mkay..." RM muttered. "Go to bed, Byakuya."
"Thanks Dad," Timothy replied, walking off.
"Far..." RM muttered.

The next morning, Timothy sat in the kitchen waiting for RM to serve him breakfast. RM plopped some oddly green pancakes in front of him and then ran off to the lab.
"Where are you going?" Timothy asked.
"99 man Smash game with Max, Clemont, and Onii-sama!" RM replied. "Gotta run, bye!"

Timothy didn't see him for the rest of the day. He eventually got tired of waiting and went down into the lab, where he saw RM, RM's Friend, Max, and Clemont playing Super Smash Bros together on their 3DSes.
"Dad, it's time for dinner," Timothy said. "I'm hungry."
"I've told you already, call me Far!" RM replied. "And I'm busy, get something for yourself."
"You know what? I'm finished being sweet and adorable. (Nick jingle) you, Dad!"
RM stared at Timothy.
"WHAT did you just say?" RM demanded.
"Yeah, (Nick jingle) you! You're the worst parent possible! First that god(Nick jingle) mother(Nick jingle)ing parenting book by the Turners, now you can't parent at all on your own! And you know what? I've had diarrhea after ever god(Nick jingle) meal you've prepared me! That is, WHEN YOU DO PREPARE A MEAL. I'm (Nick jingle)ing through, I'm running away to join the (Nick jingle) circus or some (Nick jingle). (Nick jingle) you, Dad."
Timothy barged through the circle of Smash players, grabbed RM's 3DS, and smacked him in the face with it. He then threw it at RM's crotch and walked out of the lab, never to be seen again.
RM sighed.
"I guess you and June are right, Clemont," he said. "I can never be a good parent."
"Maybe you just aren't ready yet," Clemont said.
"Good thing I never wanted kids anyway!" RM laughed.
Clemont and Max stared at him.
"You don't even want to be a parent, and yet you put a small child through all of that to try to prove that you could be a parent if you wanted?!" Max asked.
"Yeah," RM replied.
"You're kind of a terrible person, RM," Clemont said.
"I know, Clemont. I know."
THE END

Enter at your own peril!
Past the bolted doors!
Where impossible things may happen
That you've never seen before!

In RM's laboratory
Live the smartest boys you've ever seen!
But Ash blows RM's, Max's, and Clemont's projects to smithereens!
There is doom and gloom while things go bloom
In RM's lab!
Edited by RayquazaMaster, Oct 5 2014, 01:48 PM.
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
1 user reading this topic (1 Guest and 0 Anonymous)
ZetaBoards - Free Forum Hosting
Free Forums. Reliable service with over 8 years of experience.
Learn More · Register for Free
« Previous Topic · Pokemon Squad! · Next Topic »
Add Reply

free counters
Free counters