| Welcome to Pikmin Planet. We hope you enjoy your visit. You're currently viewing our forum as a guest. This means you are limited to certain areas of the board and there are some features you can't use. If you join our community, you'll be able to access member-only sections, and use many member-only features such as customizing your profile, sending personal messages, and voting in polls. Registration is simple, fast, and completely free. Join our community! If you're already a member please log in to your account to access all of our features: |
- Pages:
- 1
- 2
| Angel; Spawn of Kalas | |
|---|---|
| Tweet Topic Started: Aug 6 2008, 02:22 PM (181 Views) | |
| Afried | Aug 6 2008, 02:22 PM Post #1 |
![]()
|
“Stop! Stop! Please.. you can’t do this,” the woman gasped. “Oh? But I am!” The tormentor laughed mercilessly. It wiped off the red stains covering the wicked knife. “Let’s see what happens when I do this,” it giggled sadistically, as it twisted the blade into her back. Amidst her anguished screams, the knife-wielder showed a malicious glare, its’ eyes eerily reminiscent of the blood now flowing across the ground. The woman screeched unevenly, “There is nothing… you can do!” She wriggled spastically as the knife swung down into the side of her head, cutting off locks of her raven-like hair. As the demon-like executioner held up the knife, for a sure to be fatal blow, she whispered, “Why?” The beautiful, curved blade made it’s way down, for a very ugly purpose. It flew straight, into her heart. “Goodbye-“ This is just a prologue. Edited by Afried, Aug 11 2008, 09:14 PM.
|
![]() |
|
| vgamefreak | Aug 6 2008, 09:36 PM Post #2 |
![]()
|
*Afried edited the first post so this comment was talking about a different prologue. It has a cool beginning but it's a little stereotypical. I wantz 2 read mor plz. kthxbai Edited by vgamefreak, Aug 11 2008, 09:16 PM.
|
![]() |
|
| Afried | Aug 7 2008, 01:25 AM Post #3 |
![]()
|
It took a while to get the wording right. And unfortunately, had to be cliched. *As stated by vgame, it was edited. The bottom line is a blatant lie, as I obviously found a way around that. Edited by Afried, Aug 11 2008, 09:18 PM.
|
![]() |
|
| vgamefreak | Aug 7 2008, 01:32 AM Post #4 |
![]()
|
It all depends on how the person's mood is at the point. While you could go one way and hint ironic comedy in the beginning you could also go the other way (your way) and create a good amount of suspense. :) |
![]() |
|
| AdamPerfection | Aug 7 2008, 04:31 PM Post #5 |
|
Sephiroth!!
![]()
|
fascinating...can't wait to read more... I will probably start Haam 3 soon... |
![]() |
|
| Afried | Aug 8 2008, 02:16 PM Post #6 |
![]()
|
I have Chapter 1 finished. Hopefully, it's not generic. It's extremely short though. Like 1 page in Word. I might post it soon. |
![]() |
|
| vgamefreak | Aug 8 2008, 03:19 PM Post #7 |
![]()
|
I can't wait to read it. Please don't take my comment too harsh Afried, it's just criticsm. -_- |
![]() |
|
| AdamPerfection | Aug 8 2008, 04:16 PM Post #8 |
|
Sephiroth!!
![]()
|
Well soon their will be two fan-fics on this website the finale of Final Fantasy world-N is coming later today and I will begin Haam 4(u see what I did thar)! |
![]() |
|
| vgamefreak | Aug 8 2008, 04:23 PM Post #9 |
![]()
|
i c wut u did thar. i getz an award. *gets trophy* kthxbai I'm going to read teh rest of Final Fantasy World-N. |
![]() |
|
| AdamPerfection | Aug 9 2008, 01:44 AM Post #10 |
|
Sephiroth!!
![]()
|
^Excellent I just posted chapter 10, the end of the fan-fic(an epic ending by the way)! i am thinking of bringing back LOTS(lord of the spam) what do you think! |
![]() |
|
| vgamefreak | Aug 9 2008, 11:58 AM Post #11 |
![]()
|
I would be really happy if you brought it back. :D |
![]() |
|
| Afried | Aug 9 2008, 01:56 PM Post #12 |
![]()
|
I'll post Chapter 1 when LBC is up. |
![]() |
|
| Afried | Aug 10 2008, 06:21 PM Post #13 |
![]()
|
Chapter 1 Music #1 Play this at normal volume. Turn down to background noise at 0:30 or :31, and begin reading. Ken Jacobs fumbled with the volume knob, turning it down clumsily. He ripped away his bedcovers, stretching and yawning. Ken was not a morning person. He walked to his bathroom, half-dead, and brushed his teeth. Back in the bedroom, he pulled out his uniform, a khaki jacket with khaki pants. He put it on, along with his NYPD badge, and the full gun holster than accompanied it. Jacobs walked to the kitchen, and grabbed a bowl off the counter. Still drowsy, he dropped it. He swept up the pieces, and found a new one. This, he filled with cornflakes and milk. He paired this with a glass of milk, and had a quick breakfast. Leaving the bowl and silverware heaped in the overflowing sink, he hastily tied his shoes, and walked out the door. Turn off music. Jacobs jogged to his parked cruiser, at the side of the road. He always marveled at how it had never been stolen. Ken retrieved his keys, and clumsily jammed them in. He hopped into the seat, starting the car immediately. He eased out of the cluttered street, heading towards the heart of the city. Nearing his station, he brought the car into a parking garage, the police parking lot reserved for only the most senior of officers. It was Jacob’s second year in the force. He walked the remaining two blocks, bursting through the station doors, a little winded. He collapsed at his desk, eyeing the morning reports. He glanced at the clock on the wall. 6:49. They didn’t pay him enough. Getting back to the reports, he found that he had another exciting day ahead of him, one filled with checking parking meters and litter. Not everyone could get the action, he thought. He was correct in that assumption, but little did he know, he would be getting much action today. He finished the report, finding there had been four robberies, and one murder. It seemed a young woman had been brutally murdered, with a knife, the coroners found. What is the world coming to? He got up, and grabbed a coffee from the squad machine. Just then, a small alarm went off. His chief, Joseph Bridgen, yelled “Bank’s being held up, on 131st and Middleton! Get there!” Ken walked back to his desk, only to be stopped by Bridgen. “Oh no, Jacobs. You’re going too!” This one was really short, but they’ll get longer. Edited by Afried, Aug 10 2008, 06:24 PM.
|
![]() |
|
| vgamefreak | Aug 10 2008, 06:27 PM Post #14 |
![]()
|
I really like how you use the music Afried. :) The chapter was great. |
![]() |
|
| Afried | Aug 10 2008, 06:28 PM Post #15 |
![]()
|
Thanks! I haven't started on Chapter 2 yet. |
![]() |
|
| 1 user reading this topic (1 Guest and 0 Anonymous) | |
| Go to Next Page | |
| « Previous Topic · Fan Fiction · Next Topic » |
- Pages:
- 1
- 2









2:46 PM Jul 11