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Alexander Zevlum; Nickname: Atzo
Topic Started: Jun 11 2017, 10:37 PM (217 Views)
Atzo
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Name:Alexander Zevlum | Goes by Atzo
Gender: Male
Age: 16

Class: 3-E

Clubs/Occupation: N/A

Personality: Atzo is a charismatic demon of a kid, a natural wordsmith and master manipulator. He uses the things he has learned as a member of a gang of assassins to get into peoples minds and gain their trust. He seems to be a master of his emotions, able to use what he knows of them to meld perfectly into a situation Picking people off and setting his sights on his next target as needed. The truth of it is that while he has emotions, he only truly experiences anger, sadness, loneliness and a kind of mischievous emotion that manifests in wanting to control others. His parents discouraging any kind of expression of happiness that they believed was unwarranted and while he smiles often it is more of a form of contentment than happiness. He strives for true happiness, he strives to change his ways but always finds himself falling back down the rabbit hole.

History:Atzo was born to a fairly normal family, or as far as he could tell. He was very close to his brother, the two of them shared many adventures. He spent most of his youthful years learning about the functions of electronics and computers. He always enjoyed learning what he could, the world was a library and he did what he could to learn. His father was, well... Abusive, though Atzo never saw it until his father turned up missing. His father watched Atzo like a hawk, any mistake he made was a trip to the dojo to get beaten unrelentingly. His brother, being Stronger then their father finally snapped one day and was waiting for Atzo and his brother one time. Ren proceeded to Kill his father, grateful, Atzo thanked Ren and they went on their merry way. Atzo's parents had abandon Ren years ago though he never understood why. It wasn't too long until their mother died and Atzo was moved to stay with his aunt and uncle in Japan.

Or, at least that is what he tells people

Most of that is correct; his father abusing him, however Ren killed their father one day, Atzo watched as Ren beat the man senseless, but there is more too the story than that. At a very young age his talents were seen by the gang that his brother was a part of. His talent for manipulation, gaining information and observing the exact details of someone. His ability to read someone else was unmatched and his ability to hide his own emotions were just as strong. At age 13 Atzo began his monuments rise through the ranks. It didn't take long before he was going on secretive missions. Finding targets, learning about their very lives, learning when the best time to strike was. By age 14 he was a well known freelance information broker, though he still had ties to that same gang he started in.

Atzo had found himself pour at martial arts but as he accomplished the crimes he had been committing he found he had another desire. He wanted to become a killer, tired of the life of information he sought the man that ran his original gang and asked to be trained with a knife. That man had always been more of a father to Atzo than his real dad, and happily accepted the task.

Age 16, Atzo had found the best plan for assassination. He would kill his mother. Assembling a small team of select individuals from within the gang they cornered her in the family study. Atzo smirked as he cut into her knowing that the last of the people who tormented him were finally dead. However, now with his mother and father both murdered he had no idea that he would be taken to Japan. Now he plans to rise to the top of the Yakuzas, assert his dominance and train himself to be a master of his craft.

Appearance:
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Current Weapon/Combat Skill:
Weapon Name: Misguidance
Weapon Type: SOG Seal Knife 2000 (Gifted to him by his grandfather)
Combat Style: Atzo tends to stab people when they least expect it, acting innocent until it is time to take the target out. He only goes for killing blows and when he is not feeling stab hungry he will make his cuts almost unnoticable to the untrained eye
Mask:
Spoiler: click to toggle


Persona:
~Name:Cù Sìth
~Arcana: Devil
~Drain:
~Weak: Light, Water
~Null: Darkness
~Reflect:
~Resist:
~Skills:
Mudo - Inflicts minor Dark damage on a single target.
Marin Karin - Inflicts Charm on a single target.
Pulinpa - Inflicts Panic (Confusion) on a single target.
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Czernobog
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Best Influence.
Okay, there are some things we need to discuss here:
  • We have some problems with the execution of this character concept -- there's a time it might have entered the game more easily, but it's a bit grandiose for the game as it currently stands -- the "gang of assassins" and organized crime angle in particular don't really fit with the current tone of the game. If he's more of a violent delinquent or a conman than a cold-blooded killer, that might be easier to fit in.
  • Your personality section needs expansion here: consider adding more detail and explaining his behavior in day-to-day life.
  • Your history is kind of a sticking point -- as mentioned, we're in the process of phasing out a lot of the organized crime elements, and going with more of a street-level thing. Moreover, your character has an obviously western name, but you talk about a "dojo" early on. Is this an error?
  • How did he manage to avoid police scrutiny after the deaths of his parents?
  • For that matter, you never directly explain who "Ren" is, and he's apparently a very important character in the backstory you've constructed. I'm going to assume he's the brother, perhaps you should make this connection more explicit.
  • How, exactly, do they go to Japan -- immigration is a hellishly complex process for law-abiding citizens, I imagine that they're illegally immigrating. How does that work for them? How does he get together the documentation to go to school?
  • Your backstory doesn't mention Atzo being given the knife, or his relationship with his grandfather, so I have a bit of a problem there -- it seems like he didn't really have a relationship with his grandfather other than receiving the knife. It might be easier to go with something like a pocket knife or switchblade and cut out the special-forces angle (as well as the "invisible cuts" thing, because that's...essentially magic, and we don't allow supernatural abilities for starting characters.)that you've got going, because it doesn't really seem to be adding much to the character.
  • Give a description for the persona.
I apologize for the degree of changes necessary, but you've got the start of an interesting character, and he could be an interesting antagonist.
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