Welcome Guest [Log In] [Register]
Add Reply
Makoto Akamine; Fear is the most subtle and destructive human disease...
Topic Started: Apr 20 2017, 08:08 PM (346 Views)
LightSenpai
Member Avatar
MemeLord
Name: Makoto Akamine
Gender: Male
Height: 5ft, 4 in
Weight: 120lbs
Age: 19

Class: None currently, but was formerly enrolled in Rokujima University, majoring in computer science.

Clubs/Occupation: Makoto used to be in the Kendo club when he attended Taiyoutono High School.

Personality: Makoto is, and has always been for the most part, a natural shut-in ever since his injury at kendo club (mostly due to his own self doubt and fear of failure), but by no means is completely socially inept, as he grasps the basic mechanics of conversing. When conversing, he is very blunt and sarcastic, which tends to piss off most people he talks to. He tries to be social with people who share a common trait or interest, which usually comes off as extraordinarily awkward. Beyond that, there are very few things that get under his skin, but if you can bother him, Makoto will either get extremely serious (to sometimes go as far as make threats) or shut himself in to avoid having to face his problems. He was never really happy, and feigns a smile most of the time so he can be more "charming" in his eyes.

Despite Makoto living a livable life until college, he was always pessimistic. He usually assumed the worst in a situation involving him being the central focus, which got him into trouble many times. He also holds a very idealistic set of views on things generally. His ideals are that there is no good or evil. In his viewpoint, everyone that has ever lived has done both good and bad things, and if there is proper justification, then it's their propagative. He does believe that there are some things that he cannot forgive, such as genocide, rape, murder, discrimination of any kind, etc. as well as one thing he believes is ungentlemanly under most circumstances; hurting a woman/girl. To him, this is an abhorrent action equivalent to someone hurting someone based only on the fact that they can due to superior strength or status. He believes that all people are equal in status, but that women are generally physically weaker while somewhat generally smarter than men (If a girl/woman proves dependable and strong, he does not view them lesser, as generally does not mean all). Beyond that, he believes in things such as chivalry and equality.

When faced with adversity, Makoto fears losing what he has, but still stands up for what he believes. He thinks that if you abandon your beliefs, you are no better than those who sell themselves off to become successful. Individuality is one of his core beliefs, growing up in a household where the only concern was success and intelligence. His deepest desire however, is to make something that he can truly call his own, unique creation, be it love, a game, anything. His main strength is that he is honest, even brutally so. He also has a strong drive when there is something he wants to do, and thinks he can do, and generally speaking, makes whats on his mind clear. He has many faults though, the main two being due to growing up with a life full of paradoxic values around him and his brain damage, he became equally paradoxic and can often contradict and be hypocritical of his own values, sometimes doing things he would consider horrible or insensitive due to not being able to connect consequences to his own actions at times. He also has an inferiority complex, meaning that he automatically assumes that he is lesser than those around him. Because of this, he can undercut and underestimate himself. He is also not used to social situations, and as such can only function well in small groups, or he gets anxious easily.

History: Makoto was born in Nagashima, while his parents were not. From an early age, he was fascinated with samurai and ninjas, and always held an interest in learning martial arts (especially involving swords) due to that. Although his mother did not approve of this interest, he continued reading about the adventures of famous samurai and shoguns like Oda Nobunaga. His mother is from Tokyo and his father is from Kanazawa, a town that also acts as a capitol for the Ishikawa Prefecture on Japan’s central Honshu Island. His mother, Rei Akamine was very kind, but strict with him, often prioritizing academic success over individuality or creativity. She worked late into the night most of the time as an accountant. She shared a quite odd hobby with him on occasion though; collecting coins and stamps from America and Europe completely based on their aesthetics. Those occasions were some of the only times she motherly towards him, but as Makoto grew older, she eventually stopped this, feeling that it would distract him from his studies far too much. On the other hand, his father, Haruhiko Akamine spent time with Makoto when his mother was working at night even after he got older, acting as a positive force that encouraged him to aim for his own personal goals, but still sustain passing grades. He often got involved in the activities or subjects Makoto was interested in at the time. When Makoto turned 16, his father, knowing Makoto's interest in swordsmanship suggested that he join the kendo club.

Makoto's high school life was normal, besides the fact that when he was in kendo club, he incurred a hairline fracture in his jaw, as well as a minor concussion during a training accident outside of school between him and a teammate, in which he lost his balance as one of his teammates swung the blade of a bokken (wooden sword commonly used for practicing kata), hitting him in the jaw which caused him to hit his head against the ground, which gave him a concussion. The concussion caused minor brain damage, making him more sensitive to pain, throwing off his balance, as well as sudden bursts of memory loss. These injuries made him unable to operate in the club for about 5 months. After recovery, he felt like he'd probably missed too much to catch up to the rest of the team, (in addition to his mother pressuring him into studying harder), so he quit shortly after. At least thats what he told the club manager. His true reason for quitting was due to the lingering effects of his concussion, which caused minor brain damage. These effects include occasional short-term memory loss (nothing too major, just things like misplacing objects often used or accessed and sometimes forgetting things he just read, etc.) and having trouble identifying the consequences of his, as well as the actions of others close to him. However, Makoto still held an interest in swords and swordsmanship. With his father's help, he started collecting swords, including a katana with an ornate black and gold-patterned sheath in the shape of a Xiaolung (Chinese dragon) with a pure-black blade, which was given to him for his 18th birthday by his father. His mother became furious when she found out about this hobby, especially with his father and divorced him. She threw out all of the swords she could find in Makoto's collection, except for the katana, which was hidden by his father. Makoto chose to stay with his father, who was now a broken man. His father fell into depression for the next 6 months, where he sought out help. This left Makoto to live almost alone for that time. Afterwords, his father apologized to Makoto and offered to help him learn iado as a way to reconcile with his son. Makoto gladly accepted, training with his father until he graduated high school.

After graduating high school, Makoto applied to Rokujima University, and after being accepted, majored in computer science. After the first semester, his work began piling up and threw Makoto into a depression, which lead to him being forced to drop out and work from home. Soon after, he got an idea; use the programming he learned from college to create mobile games with the help of an artist. The games sold well at first, but soon after, their sales tanked. He started to question the validity of his work after both him and his artist had to begin selling off their own work to developers and companies even more desperate than they were. His artist left, and the people who he sold the properties to were credited with the creation of his ideas by the public. Since then, he started hating his fear of failure more and more with each passing day.

Appearance: Makoto usually has calm, controlled body language. He does, however slouch quite a lot, a habit gained from hours upon hours of working on a computer. His tone of voice has a signature dry, serious feel to it that does not waver even when he is attempting to be funny or lighthearted.
Spoiler: click to toggle


Current Weapon/Combat Skill: Makoto's current weapon is a katana resembling the one his father gave him (though he would still carry that one into battle as a memento), and is a fairly competent swordsman due to practice from his father when he was in high school, but still lacks the exact precision to hit extremely small or mobile targets
Mask: Makoto's mask takes the form of dark grey bandages covering his mouth, nose, and right eye, symbolizing the struggle and suppression of his true self he has dealt with and what it took to recover from it. When he speaks, the mask's mouth resembles a jack-o-lantern's jagged mouth pattern with the inside being blood red.

Persona:
Spoiler: click to toggle

Skeycht, also known as Skeith, Skuth, and Skyith throughout the ages, is the 1st phase of the cursed wave, a malevolent force that washes over the earth to rid all life from the planet from the epic poems, "Epitaph of Twilight" and "The Phases in the Epitaph", which were written by Kazunori Itō. Skeycht holds the title, "The Shadow of Death". Skeith also owes its roots to the Skeith Stone, an artifact found in Kilrenny, Scottland. Inscribed in the stone is a circular cross, outlined by eight leaf or eye shapes and a squigle that identifies it as a Chi Rho Cross (the one that looks like a P and a X combined, those being the Greek letters used to spell Christ).

~Name: Skeycht (pronounced Scay-the)
~Arcana: XVI, The Tower
~Drain: N/A
~Weak: Electric
~Null: N/A
~Reflect: N/A
~Resist: Gravity
~Skills:
Cleave - Inflicts minor Physical damage on a single target.
Gry - Inflicts minor Gravity damage on a single target.
Rakunda - Decreases a single target's damage resistance and durability by a slight but noticeable amount for a brief span of time.

Have you read all the stickies? (NOT AN OPTIONAL SECTION)

Yes, yes I have my good sir/madame.
Edited by LightSenpai, Dec 27 2017, 02:02 AM.
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
Czernobog
Member Avatar
Best Influence.
Okay, some points:
  • We need expansion in all major sections (Personality, History, Appearance) -- and we'd prefer the picture put behind a spoiler to keep the formatting straight.
    • Personality should cover the character's internality, not just their social stance. Is Makoto more optimistic or pessimistic? What's his moral compass like? What are his strong points, what are his weak points? Is he more idealistic or practical? How does he react to adversity?
    • History needs, possibly, the most expansion. What was his life like before graduating from high school? You should probably mention some details of the kendo accident there. What's his family like? Is his family from Nagashima, or did they come here when Makoto was very young? What do his parents do for a living? How did he get the weapon he uses, and why did he get it?
    • Appearance: There are appearance qualities that don't really come out in a picture -- what's his body language like? His vocal tone? These are all qualities apparent on meeting someone, but can't be communicated by a picture.
  • Weapon is another area that needs a bit of work. You're describing an odd, uncommon weapon, and I don't see how it comes about naturally from the character's history and if you could come up with something more mundane to start off with, that would be good -- there are ways for him to acquire customized weapons later on, but it's odd that he would have that to start with.
  • Please provide a little more information about the persona. What does it represent? What mythological antecedents are there for the persona?
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
LightSenpai
Member Avatar
MemeLord
Czernobog, I fixed it. Is that better or is more still required to be approved?
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
Czernobog
Member Avatar
Best Influence.
Much better, just a quick note: nodachi are too long to use with iaido. A shorter sword (katana, kodachi, wakizashi) could. Nodachi aren't exactly finesse weapons.
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
LightSenpai
Member Avatar
MemeLord
All, right will do, is that the last change needed to be accepted?

Edit: I made that change
Edited by LightSenpai, Apr 21 2017, 03:57 PM.
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
Czernobog
Member Avatar
Best Influence.
I'm afraid not. I was glancing at this between jobs and couldn't look over everything; the weapon (which you changed in the Current Weapon/Combat style part, but not in the history. This is for your own benefit -- most of the combat in this game is in close quarters, and a nodachi is an anti-cavalry weapon. Read: useless in a hallway,) is what stood out to me the most. I'll condense down some notes and questions we kicked around for you.

Some other questions come up, though as we were reading through your application:
  • If he washed out after the first semester, then why was he contacted to work at a game publisher? If he couldn't handle school projects, it seems like he wouldn't be able to handle the demands of working for a struggling small business (which, by the way, is atypical -- indie games in Japan tend to be made by hobbyists, rather than small companies. Also, the Japanese video game industry is very mobile-oriented right now, so maybe keep that in mind.)
  • It's questionable whether a school kendo team would use a bokken for training purposes (for the exact reasons you've got outlined here,) and they would mostly use safer alternatives (shinai.) There would also be padding roughly equivalent to what's worn for football practice -- it's closer in danger to épée (read: not) fencing than mensur (read: the goal is to get neat facial scars,) for reference -- though if he's practicing outside of school, without supervision, something like this might happen.
  • Were there any lingering effects from the brain injury? If he was out for a 5 months, it was obviously for that instead of a hairline fracture (which takes roughly 6-8 weeks to heal,) and those sorts of injuries have lingering effects, especially when they take that long to heal from (you may want to consider the side of the head that the injury happened on.)
  • What does the "Despite" mean, at the end of the Personality section?
  • The black coating on the weapon's blade is probably going to come off; we don't operate on P5 "looks real, is real" logic. If it's a keepsake, it's going to get severely damaged.
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
LightSenpai
Member Avatar
MemeLord
Ok will fix thx

Edit: I fixed those problems
Edited by LightSenpai, Apr 21 2017, 07:25 PM.
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
Czernobog
Member Avatar
Best Influence.
Approved.
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
1 user reading this topic (1 Guest and 0 Anonymous)
ZetaBoards - Free Forum Hosting
ZetaBoards gives you all the tools to create a successful discussion community.
Learn More · Register for Free
« Previous Topic · Accepted Characters · Next Topic »
Add Reply