| The California Chronicles: So Your Friend Is Suffering Virgin's Envy...; [Kyo, Hiroko - Closed] | |
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| Tweet Topic Started: Apr 4 2014, 11:54 AM (580 Views) | |
| The One True Nobody | Apr 4 2014, 05:42 PM Post #11 |
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"...does this clockwork hand follow you... or guide you?"
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Kyo nodded a bit and sat down on the other bed, across from Hiroko. "Well, yeah. Bein' in a mood over one thing is bound t' make everything else look worse. The issue is, I think, he knows what his problem is and well... it's his 'suppressed self' tellin' 'im, which means it's knowledge he ain't lookin' straight in the eye 'cause he don't know what t' do with it." The girl rested her hands on her knees and started to drum her fingers one after another against her kneecap, as if silently tapping out some catchy tune that was stuck in her head. "But somethin' I learned about my own Shadow," she said evenly, "is that it ain't a good idea t' take what it tells ya at instant face value. It can just as easily talk about things ya think about yourself as it can stuff y' ain't been facin' directly. It's your suppressed feelings, all of 'em. Feelings ya don't wanna face, and feelings about those feelings ya don't wanna face. Doubts and second-guessing are all part o' your Shadow. That was half o' my own Shadow. A lot of what she said wasn't exactly right. It was just... things I was worried were right. Doubts about my own motivations. That sorta thing." Kyo looked up. "So the question then is: does Shinta lack discipline, or is he just hung up on the idea that he lacks discipline. Since the thing started only after things got awkward with Nat and Spencer... I'd say... prolly a bit o' column A and some o' column B." Holding up a finger, Kyo frowned at Hiroko. "So, he needs two things if he wants his Shadow t' shut up and leave him alone. He needs t' stop worryin' about it so much, because that's triggerin' his Shadow in the first place... and he needs t' actually work on his anger issues, which, well, once he's made progress at the second thing, it'll help the first thing. It all just sorta feeds into each other. Knowin' ya got an issue t' work out causes frustration over your shortcomings. Frustration means more stress and that means one more thing in the boilin' pot. See? Vicious cycle." |
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| fearjunkie | Apr 4 2014, 06:15 PM Post #12 |
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Oh my God, I LEFT THE STOVE ON AT HOME!
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Hiroko frowned, remembering the turmoil that Kyo went through after taking her Shadow at face value and descending to Nevan. The way Kyo phrased it, it sounded like there was nothing Shinta could do but snap under the pressure, however that would end. "You mean he's unable to get any better?" he asked, a bit confused. He wrung his hands together nervously. "I mean...even if we tried to help him, he might deny he's having problems and get pissed off at us." |
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| The One True Nobody | Apr 4 2014, 06:46 PM Post #13 |
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"...does this clockwork hand follow you... or guide you?"
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"We can't solve his problems for him," Kyo said simply, if a bit regretfully. Heaving a sigh, she threw her arms out to her sides and let herself flop back onto the bed again. "In the end, the person who has t' overcome Shinta's challenges is Shinta himself. We can give 'im support along the way, but it's not down t' us t' get his head on straight and it'd only make things worse if we tried." She closed her eyes. "...I didn't say he couldn't get better, though. It's just that the way things are it'll only get worse unless somethin' changes. So that's where we come in. If and when it gets worse, we be there t' help him pick himself up, that's all there is to it. With luck, he might figure somethin' out before that." Kyo peeked an eye open, and lifted her head to look at Hiroko. "...Have some faith in 'im," she said. "Don't make the mistake I always do and think you needta make up for his shortcomings or some shit. Or that you needta force him down the road he 'needs' t' go down. It's destructive, and it's insultin'. And if someone else fixed his problems for 'im, he'd never grow as a person." She lowered her head and closed her eye. "...Y'know, Hiro-kun?" she murmured. "I say all this like it's all so easy, but... t'be honest, there's still a part o' me that feels like I needta be part of it all just t' make sure everything turns out right." |
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| fearjunkie | Apr 4 2014, 06:59 PM Post #14 |
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Oh my God, I LEFT THE STOVE ON AT HOME!
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Hiroko gave an expression of mild surprise. "Really? When I put together the idea he was having issues with his angry, I felt..." Hiroko paused, rolling over in the bed and drooping his head and shoulders over the side so the world seemed upside-down. "...I dunno, fulfilled, like I'd achieved something great..." He sighed, eyes looking up at Kyo. "What do you think needs to change? Him, or the circumstances he's in?" |
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| The One True Nobody | Apr 4 2014, 07:17 PM Post #15 |
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"...does this clockwork hand follow you... or guide you?"
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Kyo frowned a bit at that. "I know the feeling," she said quietly. "For a while I thought I was in it for that feeling. Thing is it's a feelin' everyone gets when they feel like they've done somethin' that's helpful t' someone they care about. It's only more noticeable for people like me n' you 'cause we went so long without feelings like those. Makes 'em feel stronger when they come. It's not a bad thing... just, gotta keep things in perspective." The girl sat up, and then moved over to where Hiroko lay, rubbing an idle hand over his chest through his shirt, not teasingly or seductively, more just because she felt like it, and settled down next to him. "Knowin' what's what means we know how t' help when he does need help, but it's also tempting t' step over the bounds with it. It's not figuring it out or wanting t' figure it out that's a problem, it's how y' do it and what y' do with it that can be bad. As for what needs t' change... well, if ya can't change the circumstances all ya have is your own ways o' dealin' with 'em. I dunno what else can happen for now. You got any bright ideas?" It wasn't a sarcastic question, despite the wording; Kyo's tone was genuinely curious. |
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| fearjunkie | Apr 4 2014, 07:34 PM Post #16 |
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Oh my God, I LEFT THE STOVE ON AT HOME!
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Hiroko saw Kyo's point when she explained why the feeling of impacting others lives was so cathartic- they'd had pretty shit childhoods, the both of them. So they took whatever they could get, and clung to that with feverish obsession, wanting more like an addict wanting a fix. When Kyo asked him for suggestions, he shrugged downward because he was still upside down. "Find him a girlfriend? Cure his mom's cancer? Make him not poor?" Number two was unfeasible, but the others were somewhat manageable.
Edited by fearjunkie, Apr 4 2014, 07:35 PM.
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| The One True Nobody | Apr 4 2014, 08:00 PM Post #17 |
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"...does this clockwork hand follow you... or guide you?"
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"Well it's a little beyond our means t' make him not poor," Kyo said in an amused voice. "And he's already gettin' money help from Kinzaki as it is. Introducin' him to a lady or two miiiight help him find somethin' good t' focus on. Although, I'm a bit worried he'll take it bad if things don't work out. Seems t' be the kinda guy who lets rejection hit him... really, really hard." Kyo tapped her fingers on Hiroko's chest. She frowned a bit. "...I'm vaguely hopin' he might meet some cute chick while he's here who just wants t' get it on with a hot Asian guy. It might knock the 'virginity equals loneliness' stupidity out of him," she said quietly. "...But I guess I can't blame him for sorta crossin' his wires on the two. I mean, I did for a bit... at the beginning. And then I started t' realize it didn't matter how many guys were bendin' me over a couch cushion. Every time I just felt even more worthless..." Her fingers were drumming in a slow, contemplative way, but her face hadn't changed at all. "It's so easy t' see it as something you need to feel like ya belong." |
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| fearjunkie | Apr 5 2014, 12:09 PM Post #18 |
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Oh my God, I LEFT THE STOVE ON AT HOME!
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"Yeah, and given this is Shinta...he needs a lot of things." Hiroko said sadly. "I hope he does find someone, too...being lonely's the worst feeling in the world." Hiroko remembered how alone he had once felt. That feeling had driven him to climb to the school roof and consider taking the jump off...had Kyo not been there, he would have gone through with it, too. |
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| The One True Nobody | Apr 5 2014, 12:24 PM Post #19 |
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"...does this clockwork hand follow you... or guide you?"
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"...Well," Kyo said in a solemn voice. "Prolly not the worst feeling in the world by a long shot. But it feels like it is. And it feeds inta everything else you're feeling... sours the good. Makes the bad worse." Kyo's fingers brushed over Hiroko's shirt for a few seconds... then she smiled a slightly impish smile, and quite suddenly, rolled right up onto her boyfriend, leaning over and pulling his head up from below the edge of the bed. Cradling it in one hand, she brought her face close to his. "I think that's enough gloomy talk for now," she said. "Y'coulda picked a better time t' bring this up, Hiro-kun. I've been lookin' forward t' some me-and-you time the whole flight over. We can think about ways t' cheer Shinta up when mornin' comes and we're all out seein' what there is t' see. For now..." She drew closer, lips almost brushing his. "...For now," she murmured, her voice quivering a bit with a strange sort of weariness. "For now I just want... to let go of everything for a little while. Before I explode, or somethin'." |
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| fearjunkie | Apr 6 2014, 06:00 PM Post #20 |
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Oh my God, I LEFT THE STOVE ON AT HOME!
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Hiroko smiled softly as Kyo cradled his head. "Yeah. I'll remember to work on my timing when we get back to Nagashima where we left all the tragedy behind, 'cause comedy's just tragedy plus timing, in case you didn't know." He kissed Kyo tenderly, letting the worries of lonesome friends, mental illness, and other Nagashima Problems (Patent Pending) slip away from thought. |
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