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| Tweet Topic Started: Jan 12 2014, 10:51 AM (104 Views) | |
| evilpizza_626 | Jan 12 2014, 10:51 AM Post #1 |
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When Yuuki was led into the office Kazuo Sato began picking things off of his desk. The details of the scattered components did not escape his notice. "I didn't know you smoked," Yuuki said, regarding the ashtray. "I should probably try to kick the habit," Kazuo Sato said. His skin was tanned, his face unshaven and his hair graying. He had an unzipped sweater over his t-shirt. In one hand he had a rubbish bin that papers and empty bottles that should be recycled were tossed into. "Of course I never smoked when I came to visit you. I can remove this if you like." "You don't have to." Yuuki wasn't surprised to learn that Sato had smoked. Sometimes his clothes had smelled like tobacco. "Have a seat." Sato gestured to the couch across from his desk. It was a beige leather piece that had been reupholstered and squeaked in an embarrassing fashion as Yuuki sat. "Your father smoked back when I knew him." As Sato sat in his chair the rubbish bin was placed out of site behind the desk. "Though only for under a year. Was curious about it but he had the conviction to quit." A sharp breath went out of Yuuki's nostrils. Beginning things with Sato was always like this, idle chat before they ever talked about something important. Though such a shabby 'therapist' didn't look like a source of wisdom his advice was generally sound. But clearly Yuuki was far to overdressed for the almost derelict and dim surroundings. Lots of dark paneling in the office and no windows. Though fresh school uniforms always looked too formal compared to anything else. "How was starting at Taiyoutono?" Sato was grinding a pen into his ashtray. The way he must stub cigarettes. "Typical," Yuuki said with a tone of voice matching his astute posture. "Which is to say its no different from other high schools. Actually, maybe worse. Some teachers seem to put on airs but its not a spectacular institution." He noted Sato's eyes, perpetually calm. "I've left the headphones at home. Didn't set up a 'wall' as you put it." "And did you discover anything?" There was an itch down the back of Yuuki's neck. He tried to ignore it. "Would have made no particular difference. Just because you're not tuning out the world listening to the same albums over and over again doesn't mean people talk to you. I probably could have gotten away with wearing headphones all day. The teachers pay so little attention to anything it's a wonder they're human." A brief amused expression crossed Sato's face. "I wouldn't be surprised." "Don't tell me you've gone there. Or taught, or whatever." "No, Taiyoutono was built after my time. Never worked there. But you're not the only student I've known from there. Tea at all? Still the same kind?" "I suppose." There was a coffee nook just outside the door in the hall. Yuuki could hear Sato turn on the water to heat, opening cupboards. While he waited for the tea he looked around the office again. It was rather barren. The desk, couch and a floor lamp were the only furniture. Shelves with glass doors were built into one wall but only populated with a few texts, laying lopsided so Yuuki couldn't read the titles. He hadn't imagined Sato would live in such depravity. True, he never had much with him when he arrived the other times. That was odd in itself. People in 'therapy' went to an office just like like going to the dentist. The therapist wasn't supposed to come to you. Sato could still be heard from the hallway. "This tea of yours keeps a long time. The box I bought bulk is still as fresh as it was the day I bought it. Is there anything you like yet at Taiyoutono?" The couch creaked as Yuuki shifted position. "I don't know it's all just so…boring. Possibly…" For all it's sub-average presentation there was something off that Yuuki couldn't figure out. But it wasn't something Sato needed to know. "It's possibly perfect for normal people. Show up, barely have to worry about anything. Must be nice." Sato returned with two cups. A spiced scented tea for Yuuki and black coffee for himself. "And you don't think you could go to school like that?" He passed Yuuki the tea. "With my track record shouldn't you already know the answer?" Yuuki scoffed. "I don't know the future." Sato sat, blowing on his coffee. "I do know it's your choice for how you want to go to school." "Just fine, then six months down the line there's another incident like at Sumaru, Shizuoka, Mie," Yuuki's voice grew louder, "and the same thing will happen here, it'll always happen to me so why even bother--" "Yuuki." Sato did not shout. Yet with a voice that was somehow both quiet and firm he could interject before Yuuki started a rant. "You are the one who decides who you want to be. You're the one in control for how others know you." "Really?" Yuuki's face was lined and bitter. "Was it in my control when those stupid Kawa-ta siblings..! Yuuki gulped, his face burning because of how the pitch of his voice had elevated. It took him a moment to regain composure. "Can I control the voice cracks? Or the other biological things? Or the stupid coincidences?" "No matter how much we try, nobody can control anything. You worry about instances that would repeat what you've experienced in the past. But you are the sole source for how others come to know you. You can shape people's perceptions but you need to take the initiative. What sounds easier, remaining distant and letting their perceptions of you come what may? Or presenting yourself your preferred way?" There was silence for a few moments. Yuuki couldn't look Sato in the eye and there was barely anything on the book shelf to keep his attention. "What if," Yuuki said after a while, "I want to present myself that way? What if I don't care what others think of me so long as it isn't..." Sato had his hand to his chin in thought. "I can't tell you how to live your life, you must be the one to choose how you go about it. Just remember something..." No, don't say it. Yuuki knew exactly what was going to be said next. "You're human, Yuuki, don't forget that. You may think that your ambiguity to both sexes excludes you from both public spheres. But don't exclude yourself. Let alone how that could diminish your life no person can survive without a social sphere. We are a social species." "Could I leave?" Yuuki asked. "I know father supports you, on the monetary aspect of these 'sessions' although we never discussed particulars." "The door is open," Sato said. "But wouldn't you rather have some of your tea to tell me if it's still good?" Yuuki took two gulps, the tea still scalding, and set the cup on Sato's desk. "It still holds." "If you think it's still good they're be more when you return. Or I could have bought fresh." "It's enough," Yuuki said before bowing himself out. |
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1:27 PM Jul 11