| Bardo of Reduction and Adharma.; [Single Post Branching off of Run Away] | |
|---|---|
| Tweet Topic Started: Dec 16 2013, 05:54 PM (82 Views) | |
| Czernobog | Dec 16 2013, 05:54 PM Post #1 |
|
Best Influence.
|
[Branches off of Run Away.] Naoya continued staring in Jiro's face and he spoke, his voice pressured: "But he...Nakamura didn't die, you c'n put this shit back in order, 'n' I'm sure no one'll hold you 't fault f'r what your shadow did. Everybody fucks up, now'n then." "He can't hear you." Naoya looked left, and saw his shadow, as far from him as he was from Jiro. It was dressed as it always was -- school uniform, unbuttoned shirt, gory wound in its head -- and sat upon the wreckage of a crate. Its slouched posture and relaxed position belied the power Naoya could feel radiating from it. All of the strength it had leeched out of him to feed itself. "No...not, not...not now!" Naoya gibbered, dropping to his knees. "Yes, now," it said. "Do you know what could have happened if I hadn't stepped in?" Naoya closed his eyes, and then flopped to the side laying on the ground. "Nope. Don't...don't even care. Don't give a shit. Fuck it." His shadow laughed, and leaned forward, resting its elbows on its knees in a parody of the position Naoya always took. "You know what? That's your problem. You lack resolve. Tell me, do you want to be here?" "I gotta be here. Gotta sort through this. 'S something only I c'n do," Naoya mumbled, rolling over in the dust of the warehouse's floor. "That isn't an answer, fuckhead," his shadow chided, somehow crouching directly in front of him, now. It looked down at him with an unblinking, dead-eyed grin. "No! Fuckin' course I don't wanna be here!" Naoya shouted up at it, flecks of spittle landing on its face. Viper-quick, the Shadow struck him on the throat, and he began to cough, clutching the wounded spot. "You don't want to be here...so why are you?" "'Cause I gotta be here," he croaked, rubbing his adam's apple. "'Got to,'" it repeated. "Why?" "He's m' friend. Friends look out f'r each other." It shook its head, drops of blood flying from the great gory wound stigmatizing the left side of its skull, and bowed its head forward so that its yellow eyes were cast in shadow. "So you don't want to be here, but you have to. You have to because he's your friend. Tell me, if he were your friend, wouldn't you want to help him?" "What d' you mean?" Naoya asked, pushing up into a sitting position. "You do so much because you think you have to. What do you ever do because you want to do it?" Naoya blinked. "My friends -- " "Are people you feel you owe. Not people you feel you're equal to. You're always less than or greater than you're never the same as. Doesn't that strike you as odd?" "What about Chi -- " "The redhead? I don't know what to call that, but it isn't equality. You're stronger than her, but you depend on her, and you could break each other so easily with a single misstep. No, that isn't equality, that's mutually assured destruction with hearts drawn around it. Hearts you and you alone drew there." Naoya sighed, and slumped, resting one hand on the ground. "Tell...tell me. What're you gettin' at?" "You want things. You don't let yourself have them. You do all the things you do because you think you have to, but no one has the power to make you do anything. You let yourself be obligated, because you're afraid of your own desire. Maybe it just isn't strong enough, but if that's the case, then it's because you don't want it to be." Naoya rolled, and pushed himself up onto his feet. "Bullshit." His shadow smirked, and shook its head, blood-caked hair wagging back and forth lazily. "Just 'cause I choose t' pay more attention to th' obligations I see doen't mean I ain't pursuin' my desires. You ever thought that maybe 't's 'cause I want t' feel connected?" "You want to feel subordinate. You want to be ground down into nothing and punished. That's not connection." Naoya remained silent, and his shadow sprang to its feet. "You see yourself as being either alone -- " it held out its left hand, palm up, shaking it for emphasis, " -- or lesser. You're giving yourself a shitty choice, fuckhead. It's a false choice that doesn't lead anywhere. Both roads lead to you alone and bleeding out." "Whatever," Naoya said, dismissively. He turned away, and looked back at Jiro. He muttered: "I'm goin' t' do what I gotta do, 'n' I'm goin' t' do it right." "You're lying." "Eh?" Naoya vocalized, looking back. "You say you're fine with how things are, but it burns you. And you know that I'm right, because -- " "You 'n' I 're th' same," Naoya said, as his shadow said: "you and I are the same." " -- and if I know it, and if I'm unsatisfied with it, it means that you're holding back your own dissatisfaction." "So what d' you want me t' do?" "I want you to change. Change or die." "But --" His shadow vanished, and the wall of the warehouse behind it crashed down, masonry flying through the air. Behind it, the city was in flames. It burned, silently, absolutely still, save for a single silhouette. A great figure, many-handed and horrible, charging forward on hooved feet. In one hand it brandished a burning and bloody blade, it held it high. Darkness followed. |
![]() |
|
| 1 user reading this topic (1 Guest and 0 Anonymous) | |
![]() Our users say it best: "Zetaboards is the best forum service I have ever used." |
|
| « Previous Topic · Nagashima Back Streets · Next Topic » |
| Track Topic · E-mail Topic |
1:28 PM Jul 11
|







1:28 PM Jul 11