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Comedy Or Tragedy?; Open
Topic Started: Nov 6 2012, 03:29 PM (1,394 Views)
fearjunkie
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Oh my God, I LEFT THE STOVE ON AT HOME!

Saturday's classes had been dismissed and were leaving the campus as Hiroko stood on the edge of the roof, looking down. He was considering just jumping and getting out of everyone's way. He was being blackmailed by Satosu, he had been possessed by his Persona, and he would never be allowed to talk to Kinzaki. So what was the goddamn point?

Go ahead, boy, jump. You've got nothing. You're a comedian in a world of tragedy, you were never meant to belong, never meant to live.

"Shut up!" screamed Hiroko, clutching his head. You have no friends. You have nobody to rely on. Don't you see that you have no life?

"SHUT THE HELL UP!"

Despite the outburst, nobody looked up at him. They just walked away, indifferent to his plight. Go on, do it! Hiroko clenched his fists and inched closer to the edge.
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The One True Nobody
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"...does this clockwork hand follow you... or guide you?"
"Oi," a voice called out lazily from the entrance of the rooftop. "If you're gonna commit suicide, do it quietly so fucknuggets like me don't hear you first and stop you, yeah? That's the smart way to go about it. I think. Not that I would KNOW..."

A green-haired girl in a boy's uniform sauntered onto the rooftop, yawning into her hand. Then, as if completely unconcerned by the weirdness of the situation, she muttered, "Gawd, I hate science. And math. And English. And... school."

Kyo Charinko moved over to the fence and leaned forward against it with a tired sigh, staring out at the city. She pondered going to the ruins, but she was still feeling sore from her last escapade there. And she was hungry, too. But she'd just had a pair of Duck Burgers yesterday. Two days in a row was a bit much, even for her. And she hadn't been able to find Hotaru anywhere, so there went the "hang out with the only friend you've made so far" plan.

Fucking pissbutt slugshit, today sucked. She felt like she was going to literally die of boredom. Then it occurred to her that the character her Persona was based on actually could die of boredom. And she laughed a dry, humorless laugh.

"Well, shit, ain't that just fitting as all hell," she mumbled.
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fearjunkie
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Oh my God, I LEFT THE STOVE ON AT HOME!

The first person Hiroko thought of when he saw Kyo was that green haired banchou chick that gave Kitsune- and by extension him- a solid beat down. But, no, this was a different person.

"So are you going to stop me?" asked Hiroko.
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The One True Nobody
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"...does this clockwork hand follow you... or guide you?"
Kyo looked over, eyes half-lidded, and slurred, "Well, yeah, if you don't get your bum ass away from that deadly drop. So get your bum ass away from that drop, yeah? My legs, arms, ribcage, and just about everything are killing me right now, so I'd like it if you save me the work. What's your name, man? I'm Kyo. And damn man, whatever's bugging you, think of the unfortunate bastard who'll have to mop you up. And the passersby who will be moved to nausea by the sight of your splattered entrails. And... it occurs to me that I'm absolute shit at this, so I'm just going to say 'get your bum ass away from that deadly drop' again. Do it. Now."
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Yes
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A voice echoed up the stairwell leading to the rooftop with shonen flare.

"Southern Cross Secret Technique! Burning Phantom Blade, First Hand: Dance of Seven Maidens!"

A yelp of pain soon carried over as a man in black robes was ejected from the entrance. He tumbled to the ground and rolled a fair distance before he got his bearings and struggled to his feet. Though there was no blood on him, it was clear that he had been roughed up some.

"Halt, purveyor of evil!"

"Fuck."

The man in black scrambled towards the fence as a second voice sounded from the stairwell.
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fearjunkie
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Oh my God, I LEFT THE STOVE ON AT HOME!

"My name is Hiroko Tachibana, failed amateur comedian and potentially soon to be dearly depar-"

And then ninjas.

"...what the ever loving flying fuck-sauce..." Hiroko took a step back, not because he was giving up on the thought of suicide, but because he was trying to get a better look at how goddamn strange this was, even by Nagashima standards. Turning to Kyo, he said: "If you've never seen anything like this before, lemme just say: Welcome To Nagashima."

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The One True Nobody
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"...does this clockwork hand follow you... or guide you?"
"You know, a couple of days ago," Kyo deadpanned, "the timing would've been perfect for that kind of line. As it happens, random ninja invasion isn't the weirdest thing that happened to me this week; 'virgin-eating butterfly followed by revolver-toting demon abomination' is. But still, what the shit."
Edited by The One True Nobody, Nov 13 2012, 05:46 PM.
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Yes
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The faceless ninja hopped the fence and flicked out a grappling hook with the other, catching it solidly on the fence with a fluid motion. Rapidly, the ninja scaffolded off of the face of the building on a windowless side of the school building down towards the greenhouse area. Eventually, he let go of the rope and dropped to the ground in a kneel. Tugging the rope free from the building, he burst into a sprint again, head jerking left and right rapidly to watch for school security.

Yuzuki leaped out of the stairwell and ran to the edge. She clicked her tongue when she saw him vanishing off. "Tch. Too slow."

She shifted her line of vision to meet the incredulous looks of the other two. Yuzuki smiled unabashedly. "Hey there! What are you two up here for?"
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fearjunkie
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Oh my God, I LEFT THE STOVE ON AT HOME!

"Who, me? I'm just having an existential-slash-emotional crisis, nothing to see here." deadpanned Hiroko. He looked over the edge. "Have you ever stopped and thought about what you ever measured up to? If you were to die today, who would miss you? That second one's really bugging me- I keep drawin' a big fat blank."
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The One True Nobody
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"...does this clockwork hand follow you... or guide you?"
"...Fuck, man, here was me about to bust out the old 'Bad Dudes' reference, and you go all melodrama on me," Kyo groaned, slapping a palm to her face. "If I die today, it just means I won't get drunk, have sex, and/or hang out with the one or two cool people I actually know in this pisshole piece-of-shit city anymore. Not much of a tragedy, that, but what the hell, I like getting drunk, having sex, and hanging out with those one or two cool people. Now get yo' bum ass away from that deadly drop before I drag you away by your scrotum."

Then she paused.

"Yeah, I'm shit at this. Yo, Miss President? Miss 'bad enough dude to rescue HERSELF from ninjas,' can you take over here? You look like you might be able to come out with some really inspirational words of wisdom and inspiration and... stuff. That's not me. I'll just hang back unless he really does need to be dragged back by his scrotum. That I can do."
Edited by The One True Nobody, Nov 13 2012, 07:17 PM.
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