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THE LOVE DOCTOR NEEDS HELP!
Topic Started: Nov 5 2012, 06:11 PM (704 Views)
FirebreathFishslap
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I'm the best! I'm the king of me! I'm gonna eat chips out of the garbage!

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Post By: LoveDoctor
Date: XXXX-XX-XX at 19:04

Heya everyone! Do you enjoy The Love Report? Are you craving more and more... gossip?

The Love Doctor is looking for help! With exams approaching, and all of that business with gangs and the ruins and silly drugs lately, I haven't had enough time to go out and search for information myself. And that's where you come in! Anyone who can provide information on this school's rising couples, new rumors, anything of the sort, will be greatly rewarded! Information can be supplied through this thread or anonymously through the PM section. Also, you can text me! PM me for my phone number, and I'd be happy to get in touch.

I'm also looking for a new printing press so that I can get back to paper releases. After all, there's no point in being a Love Doctor if half of my subjects can't read the results, after all! I'm willing to buy a cheap one, so long as it can be easily moved into the men's dorms. But anonymity is key! Once again, PM me, and we can talk details!

That's it for now, everyone! Ciao~ And remember, if you wash your panties in Windex, everyone will see themselves in them. So don't do it. Also, it leads to yeast infections, and that's no fun for anyone.
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fearjunkie
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Oh my God, I LEFT THE STOVE ON AT HOME!

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PM From ???? to LoveDoctor

I've heard that Toru Motou is living with Sanjuro Itoi and Shiori Tsukuda. Threesome?
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FirebreathFishslap
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I'm the best! I'm the king of me! I'm gonna eat chips out of the garbage!

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PM from LoveDoctor to ????

Well, you know what they say. It's not gay if it's in a threeway!

But seriously, that sounds pretty gay. Maybe I'll call Yu and see if he wants to lkasdjgadhfhsaffb


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PM from NakagawaYu to ????

This is Nakagawa Yu of the Taiyoutono Student Council. Please stop PMing my brother with illicit details of an affair no one needs to know about.

Also, pics or it didn't happen.
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fearjunkie
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Oh my God, I LEFT THE STOVE ON AT HOME!

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PM from UnknownSource to LoveDoctor

What about Seiichi Akamatsu and Iemoto Kaminogure?
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FirebreathFishslap
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I'm the best! I'm the king of me! I'm gonna eat chips out of the garbage!

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PM from LoveDoctor to UnknownSource

Iemoto Kaminogure sounds like the kind of name someone would come up with if they chewed up a dictionary, spit it out, and tried to rearrange the melted ink into some sort of tangible form. More than likely, he does not exist, and Seiichi Akamatsu has made him so that he feels less terrible for masturbating to pictures of his sister.

Sorry, let me correct that. He wants to feel less terrible for masturbating to his imaginary sister. The only reason sister complexes are as prevalent in this country as they are is because so many people lack them, after all.
Edited by FirebreathFishslap, Nov 5 2012, 08:47 PM.
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The One True Nobody
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"...does this clockwork hand follow you... or guide you?"
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PM from GunsNRoses to LoveDoctor

Having established myself as an inside operative in the home of Shiori Tsukuda, I can only confirm that there is no relationship between her and Sanjuro Itoi beyond that of platonic co-habitation. Most disappointing. There was a moment when it seemed there was something more, but it turned out to be shenanigans involving a carnivorous fold-up futon that seems to have a taste for helpless, mechanically-disinclined young curry chefs. Said futon was intended to be my own bed for the night, by the by, so I've had to bunker down in the living room until the situation changes. As this case appears to be yet another red herring, I will keep an ear to the ground for additional gossip and update you when it comes.

On that note, if Sanjuro Itoi ever offers to make curry for you, do yourself a favor and decline. Trust me on that if you value your capacity to taste things. It will burn the skin off your tongue. Currently investigating potential for use as biological anti-Shadow weapon. Current hypothesis: applying curry to squirrels may result in violent long-tongued mutant bloodhounds with immunity to Reaper gunfire. Test results show promise.

Also: Shiori Tsukuda's prowess with a war fan makes the direct approach to courting her inadvisable. If at any point a Gentleman's Guide to Nagashima comes into being, be sure to make note of this.
Edited by The One True Nobody, Nov 6 2012, 08:57 AM.
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GKG
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when ur team wipes but ur ult is at 15%
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PM from ???? to LoveDoctor

yo luv doktor

what about akio sakuraba and sanjuro itoi

i know sanjuro lives with shiori tsukuda but

i saw their code geass thing the other day and it was obvious that the two were eager to get to the "making out" part ( how would i know that ? its a secret sshhh )

but they couldn't show they love publicly you see ;_; damn japanese society and its overlooking of homosexual relationships

shiori can go tsukadick, zeroXsuzaku is still otp

do you agree with me luv doktor

also sorry im kinda drunk

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FirebreathFishslap
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I'm the best! I'm the king of me! I'm gonna eat chips out of the garbage!

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PM from LoveDoctor to GunsNRoses

Noted. I will consider the possibility of using Sanjuro's curry as a weapon. If at all possible, sneak what remains of it into a container and mail to the Taiyoutono Boys Dorm.


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PM from LoveDoctor to ????

Instead of prescribing you a confirmation on their love, I'm going to prescribe you hangover cures. They'll be more helpful and possibly make you regret this message less in the morning.

Spoiler: click to toggle
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fearjunkie
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Oh my God, I LEFT THE STOVE ON AT HOME!

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PM from Anon5768 to LoveDoctor

I think Atsushi Itoi's gay.

My proof?

He listens to Coldplay. 'Nuff said.
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FirebreathFishslap
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I'm the best! I'm the king of me! I'm gonna eat chips out of the garbage!

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PM from LoveDoctor to Anon5768

You sound like the kind of person who finds "Justin Bieber has a vagina" jokes funny.
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