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Vampire
Topic Started: Jul 31 2012, 06:38 AM (576 Views)
Prince Arjuna
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Post By: lolguy
Date: XXXX-XX-XX

Guys, can you believe this?! My sister's friend said that she's encountered a vampire at the backstreets! She even has the bite mark on her neck and became anemic for a few days!

I gotta buy some garlic! They say that they're good against vampires as repelling charms. You guys better watch out as well.

PS: My sister's friend told me that the vampire is a male, and quite handsome. But she can't remember about the vampire very well. I hope he won't sparkle under sunlight. That would be ridiculous.
Edited by Prince Arjuna, Jul 31 2012, 06:41 AM.
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FirebreathFishslap
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Post By: MythosObserver
Date: XXXX-XX-XX at 8:53

A vampire you say? Interesting... very, very interesting.

Luckily for everyone here, I am personally an expert in Vampires, along with most other demons and infernal beasts.

lolguy, be advised that your sister's friend will likely be visited again and again, until she dies. Once she's dead, she will become one of the infernal beasts unless she is properly disposed of. There are several methods for disposing of a vampire once it has turned, most involving staking. Dracula cites the most effective method in my opinion, combining several cultures' methods for killing vampires. Stake the heart, behead the head, and stuff the mouth with garlic. Only then will you be able to prevent her resurrection after she turns.

For those among us who simply wish to keep the bloodsucking fiends away, garlic is a common apotropaic, though it will probably make you smell quite terribly. Wild rose (and yes, it has to be wild; rose from any old flower shop will not do) and hawthorn plant are also said to work. Sacred items have also become rather popular, though their power is in the faith you hold, not in the item itself. Therefore, a crucifix will do nothing if you are not a Christian. Get some Shinto prayer beads or something instead. Do not depend on it being sunny outside to protect you; there is no reason to believe that vampires are harmed by sunlight aside from what movies have told you. Mirrors are popular for revealing vampires, but remember, like sunlight, no one knows if this actually works.

You can relax your protections when it's raining, as vampires are unable to cross running water, and when it's raining, everything is running water. They are also unable to cross sacred ground, so perhaps you should use this time to help improve our local dilapidated shrine? I'm sure Oyashiro would approve of your show of faith.

And remember: if you are suspicious that someone is a vampire, do not invite them into your house. Once you have invited them into your place of dwelling, they may come and go as they please. He may force his way through, but do not worry. If he does force his way through your door, he will have broken the magical threshold and considerably weakened himself, making him much easier to slay.

Happy hunting!
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Prince Arjuna
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Post By: ChiCkeN
Date: XXXX-XX-XX at 09:15

Posted Image
sorry, cant resist.
Edited by Prince Arjuna, Jul 31 2012, 07:20 AM.
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FirebreathFishslap
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Post By: MythosObserver
Date: XXXX-XX-XX at 9:20

Edward Cullen is a wretched, disgusting, abhorrent excuse for a vampire. Even without his stalking and generally creepy behavior, no vampire worth his fangs would leave his prey uneaten and unturned for so long. Nor would they torture themselves with high school year after year, not unless they were some kind of ephebophile.

Not only that, but he shows none of the traditionally cited traits of vampires. He lacks fangs, he isn't nocturnal, he cannot die except by the hand of a werewolf, he casts a shadow, and instead of being harmed or adversely affected by sunlight, sparkles in it. Not only that, but he is incapable of metamorphosis, unlike many folkloric vampires, who could take the form of bats and wolves.

He is a bloodsucking, sparkly, diamond golem.
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Prince Arjuna
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Post By: LaPucelle
Date: XXXX-XX-XX at 09:47

How can you say that?

I believe that your statement is completely untrue and ridiculous, MythosObserver. While I do agree with some of your points, including Edward Cullen being a different take of vampire's mythologies, it's still undeniable that Twilight series is one of the greatest literary works in the world. For me, Twilight is a form of work with gripping blend on romance and horror. While most of the receptions focus on its popularity rather than its literary values, you cannot deny that it has become a literary phenomenon.

It's not like I like reading Twilight anyway. But as a reader, I can say that Twilight, and by extension, Edward Cullen, isn't as bad as you initially claimed.
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FirebreathFishslap
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Post By: MythosObserver
Date: XXXX-XX-XX at 9:55

Oh, don't make me laugh, LaPucelle. Twilight is as gripping as a stick of butter, and as horrific as Hasha-san's face. The only thing great about Twilight is the horde of fangirls it created, raiding the lands of Eurasia, conquering China and Russia, and laying their leaders' severed heads at the feet of the great warlord Stephenie Meyer.

The writing is flowery, filled with errors, and nine times out of ten, makes very little sense. The author is obsessed with her thesaurus, not realizing that the obscure words she chooses often have meanings outside of what she believes they do. I remember a rather noticeable instance in which she accidentally implied that the protagonist's schedule had been sprayed with fish semen.

The characters are flat and uninteresting. Edward Cullen is a possessive stalker who controls the protagonist, Bella's, every move. The women are all completely useless, existing only to be love objects for their much more powerful, supernatural, husbands. The few vampire women you see in series are either subservient to male vampires or die horrific deaths for daring to step out of line. The only female werewolf considers herself no longer a woman because she became infertile upon becoming a werewolf.

And this is without getting into the disturbing paedophilic themes current through the series.
Edited by FirebreathFishslap, Jul 31 2012, 07:57 AM.
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Prince Arjuna
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Post By: LaPucelle
Date: XXXX-XX-XX at 10:09

Hello, I'm LaPucelle's guardian, and apparently, LaPucelle has been crying in front of her PC's screen due to unknown reasons. She's been muttering 'Edward isn't that bad' nonstop. I don't know the stuff you kids are talking about, but I guess I'll have to see Ojou-sama sulking for a few days.

I should get used to this already.
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Post By: lolguy
Date: XXXX-XX-XX at 10:22

I don't know why this topic is focused on Twilight and Edward Cullen instead of vampire's sighting in Nagashima.
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Post By: ChiCkeN
Date: XXXX-XX-XX at 10:30

oops. i guess its my fault.
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FirebreathFishslap
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I'm the best! I'm the king of me! I'm gonna eat chips out of the garbage!

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Post By: NakagawaYu
Date: XXXX-XX-XX at 10:45

Yes, let's get back on topic: to the discussion of mythological creatures that do not exist.

Really. I thought we were better than this.


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Post By: MythosObserver
Date: XXXX-XX-XX at 10:52

Nonbelievers are always the first to go, Nakagawa-san.

;)
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Vect
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Post by: RamblingFists
Date: XXXX-XX-XX at 10:23

Wow, look at that dead-ass horse.

It is dead as fuck.

I mean, it has literally had the shit beat out of it. The sparkling horse-shit is all over the place.

Also I'm taking it that someone here understands a little thing like, oh what's it called? Oh yeah, a "Realistic Relationship".

Also, protip. Say your prayers and take your vitamins. Vampires hate that stuff.
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Supnitle
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Posted By: PrettyPrettyPrincess
Date: XXXX-XX-XX at 10:27

Fuck twilight; anyone with real taste reads 50 shades of gray.
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