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Passionate Plea
Topic Started: Jun 30 2012, 02:55 PM (1,364 Views)
Yes
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Post By: FBomberMan
Date: XXXX-XX-XX at 16:38

My sides.
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Post By: Teatime
Date: XXXX-XX-XX at 16:42

The IP comes from one of the Taiyoutono library computers. No one's exploited the forum, so it could be the work of cookies saving password information. Stay sharp about this.
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fearjunkie
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Oh my God, I LEFT THE STOVE ON AT HOME!

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Post By: BaDumTsh
Date: XX-XX-XXXX at 17:05

....what the...?

Snrk. Heh. Heheh. HAHAHAHAHA!

Omigod this is the best thing EVER! I'm laughing so much I can't even breathe! Thank you MO





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Post By: BinaryGhost
Date: XXXX XX-XX

Ok, let's pick this rotting corpse of RLfic and do an autopsy.

First off: Shinta is not English. Though if anyone can get a recording of him saying 'pip pip and cheerio' I will seriously pay you.

Second off, why the fuck is Shinta a major wussy? God, its like someone's been giving him estrogen pills. Last time I checked Shinta beat bullies shitless as a hobby!

Third- and this is my biggest complaint- is the whole Nana-catching-Shinta bit. Let's say Shinta weighs 140. Add that and gravity and you've got Nana with broken arms. She should be seeking medical attention, not fucking Shinta.

And for the sake of my sanity I won't even get into the comic version.

Edited by fearjunkie, Jul 17 2012, 06:00 PM.
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FirebreathFishslap
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I'm the best! I'm the king of me! I'm gonna eat chips out of the garbage!

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Post By: MythosObserver
Date: XXXX-XX-XX at 11:10

Allow me to pick apart gripe #3 on your list of gripes with my super sugoi friendfiction with some simple math.

For this, I'm going to assume that for some vague reason you used the imperial system, not the metric system, because I've seen Watanabe-san, and he does not weigh anywhere near 140kg. 140 lbs is approximately equal to 63.5kg.

Though I believe that the gravitational constant has been adjusted since then, for the sake of this equation, we'll go with the average of 9.81 meters per second squared for acceleration due to gravity.

To determine the force that Watanabe-san has fallen at, we simply multiply his mass by the gravitational constant, which gives us 622.935 N. The force to break a human arm off is somewhere around 7 to 30 kilonewtons, for reference. Even so, to break the actual arm is actually rather difficult, and would require more than the sudden shock from catching Shinta, since it takes around 2.5 kN to break an arm, especially with a healthy, strong boned person like Samurakami-san.

Of course, I'm not accounting for acceleration due to distance, since that's a whole other set of equations that I don't feel like going into. The Taiyoutono clock tower is about 12 meters high. Someone else can delve into that.
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Post By: HiddenDragon777
Date: XXXX-XX-XX at 12:07

Ahahahahahahahaha oh god, my sides! It's about time someone had to put up with this shipping crap who isn't me!
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Dante
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WHERE THE FUCK IS MARIO
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Post By:EnterTheDragon
Date: XXXX-XX-XX at 13:07

Hey BinaryGhost

a better question

Why do you care?

Are you like Shinta's boyfriend?
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Post By: FiqtionSommelier
Date: XXXX-XX-XX at 15:32
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Post By: BinaryGhost
Date: XXXX XX-XX

Ok, let's pick this rotting corpse of RLfic and do an autopsy.

First off: Shinta is not English. Though if anyone can get a recording of him saying 'pip pip and cheerio' I will seriously pay you.

Second off, why the fuck is Shinta a major wussy? God, its like someone's been giving him estrogen pills. Last time I checked Shinta beat bullies shitless as a hobby!

Third- and this is my biggest complaint- is the whole Nana-catching-Shinta bit. Let's say Shinta weighs 140. Add that and gravity and you've got Nana with broken arms. She should be seeking medical attention, not fucking Shinta.

And for the sake of my sanity I won't even get into the comic version.

Ah, youth. The naivete, the tastelessness, the lack of appreciation for beauty... You have all of it, my good man. You pretend to be versed within the fine arts of literary critique, and yet you equate it to a simple "autopsy." But my boy, writing is not scientific. Writing is an art. Perhaps fiction is a living being, and thus capable of having an autopsy performed unto it, but verily, fuck you.

As MythosObserver has already scientifically taken apart your Point Three with enough laser precision to sear your face off your skull and leave it to dry on the pavement, I shall undertake the challenge of answering the prior two of your three-pronged assault through the literary lens of the casual romanticist. I will undertake my own "autopsy," not of the piece, but of the rotting tumour of your base, senseless, puerile, half-brained, anemic, recalcitrant, jejune excuse for a "review." And I shall do so with more finesse than you will ever be able to conjure up from your shriveled, half-blackened scumbag soul.

This Shinta individual seems to have very good taste to live in an English mansion in England, as the fic implies. I would not discount the fact that he might not be English, but it would certainly make a lot of sense if he were an English citizen, seeing as not every casual visitor to the country would buy something as grand as a Mansion. However, seeing that you are butthurt about this one point, we will allow Shinta to be not of English descent, but of Japanese descent. Now read the fic again with this knowledge. Does he still have an English Mansion in England? Yes? Not a problem.

You also seem to have a problem with the portrayal of Shinta. However, I think if you could get over your initial distaste for literature more refined than your trashy two-cent Shades trilogy, I think that you will find the portrayal more than passing. What you would call a wuss, dear Master Binary, is what the rest of us would call a noble hero. He struggles with the same difficulties that the real-life Shinta no doubt already is mired in, which include but are not limited to his personal Shadow, his fractured self-image (why else would someone undertake the noble, yet moronic, goal of becoming the King of Banchous if not for an innate want for attention, after all?), and his love life.

The Shinta presented in Mythos' artful display is simply made more sympathetic to appeal to the audience. After all, no one would want to read a romance where the main character is a first-class dickweed such as yourself, Binary. Get with the times, brother. Shinnana is in now. Douchebaggery is out. I apologize for the digression. Simply because this Shinta presented is more elegant, sensitive, and sympathetic makes him no less manly than he is in real life. In fact, in my opinion, he becomes manlier. Men have always spurned their emotion back to the time of the Greek stoics, calling it a lesser drive than reason.

However, we all know that in real life, Shinta is quite the romantic, never acting with Reason and always acting by pure Emotion. He is, if you will, Dionysian, not Apollonian. As such, the adaptation of Shinta seen in the fic is more accurate than you credit it for being.

I feel that this should be satisfactory in destroying every mote of ill-will that you old towards this beautiful and ageless work of literature. To conclude my counterargument, I shall ask this of you: you may talk the talk, but can you walk the walk? Could you do any better? We of the Shinnana fanbase would love to see your own take on this quintessential pairing.

Though I might have seemed harsh, know that you have my love and respect as a fellow patron of the arts, BinaryGhost.

All the best,

The Fiction Sommelier
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fearjunkie
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Oh my God, I LEFT THE STOVE ON AT HOME!

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Post By: BinaryGhost
Date: XXXX-XX-XX at 16:01

@Mythos
...ah, my apologies. Math isn't my strong subject while sleep deprived.

@Enter
No.

@Sommelier

Fine. You want trashy friendfiction? YOU WILL FREAKING GET IT


Shinta sighed as he sat in chemistry class. Another day wasted with this bullshit. The teacher was assigning partners for the semester project. The students would be given 2 weeks to reproduce a list of chemical mixtures at home, using a stapled-together handout as an instruction guide. "Shinta Watanabe, you will be paired with...Nana Samurakami."

Shinta just stared at the teacher blankly while mentally telling himself this isn't happening, this isn't happening, goddammit this is NOT happening. Nana's protests, however, were a bit more vocal.
"Is this some kinda joke?!" screamed Nana, standing up fast enough to knock over her chair. "There's no freakin' way I'm gonna work with that scumbag!!!"

Muted snickering rippled through the classroom. Even the teacher was smirking. Nana's face became fire-engine red as she realized the teacher had paired Nana and Shinta just to piss them off. "Go die in a fire..." groaned Nana as she slammed her head against the desk. "All of you, just...go die in a fire." Shinta was to busy having a silent psychological meltdown to comment.

So, the two delinquents found themselves working with the provided chemistry kit and handout at Shinta's apartment. The two had not spoken a single word in the past half hour, instead keeping themselves busy with the chemistry project and resisting the urge to choke the other to death.
Shinta picked up a vial containing a blue solution and eyed it suspiciously. "Mix the solutions as listed and record the results...fucking hell, that sounds boring." Nana just glowered at him, not wanting to talk to Shinta. Fuck, he's an idiot. I could kill him right now and nobody would EVER have to know.

Shinta reached for the tote and began pulling out a red vial when he tripped on Nana's foot and fell over, knocking a previous compound off the table and spilling it on to the floor. There, the red and blue chemicals mixed with the chemical puddle, causing the new mixture on the floor to fizz and give off a sickly sweet odor. Nana stood up, grabbed Shinta by his hair, and punched him in the face. "YOU FUCKING DUMBASS!!!" bellowed the green-haired delinquent. "We're gonna flunk because of you, you jackass!" She pinched her nose as she smelled the chemicals spilled on the ground. "Fuck, that smells..."

She paused mid-sentence, as a dreamy expression crossed her face and she gave Shinta a smile. She grabbed him by the collar, pulled him up to a standing position, and leaned in to whisper in his ear. "You. Me. Bedroom. Now."

"W-what!?" stammered Shinta. This was unexpected. She didn't like him, he didn't like her: that was an establishing fact of the universe. "Are you crazy?" Nana leered and her free hand to menacingly charge up a Ziodyne. "I said now..." growled Nana. "And that means now." Shinta's eyes grew wide. Holy freaking crap what the hell did those chemicals do?

Before he knew it, Shinta found himself lying on his futon with Nana standing over him. "I'm gonna make a man outta you~" whispered Nana.

....
....

....!!!!

Two hours later, Shinta, staggered out of his bedroom covered in scratches and bruises. Note to self...get another chemistry set...
END

what the hell is wrong with me

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Dante
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WHERE THE FUCK IS MARIO
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Post By: EnterTheDragon
Date: XXXX-XX-XX at 17:02

I don't know

you're the one writing trashy fanfiction about him and being defensive

I think you are his boyfriend

otherwise you wouldn't deny it so quickly
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fearjunkie
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Oh my God, I LEFT THE STOVE ON AT HOME!

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Post By: BinaryGhost
Date: XXXX-XX-XX at 17:05

Or maybe I"m being completely fucking honest when i say that i'm not with Shinta. Fuck, I'm not with anybody. Mainly because there are way too many idiots in the world.
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Dante
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WHERE THE FUCK IS MARIO
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Posted By: EnterTheDragon
Date: XXXX-XX-XX at 17:30

So Tsun.
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