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Welcome to Out of the Woods! An RPG based on the darker side of the fairy tales we all know and love. We have canons available from the musical Into the Woods, though knowledge of the musical is not mandatory for joining. |
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| Topic Started: Jul 29 2008, 07:15 PM (172 Views) | |
| Alandree | Jul 29 2008, 07:15 PM Post #1 |
The Narrator
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Jack bent down to examine the object. It was shiny and smooth. He poked it. It wiggled. This, obviously, gave him a great surprise, and he fell onto his backside as a result. The 'thing scuttled away momentarily, over his leg and into a hole on the other side of the path. He sat, stationary, for a while, finding it oddly comfortable on the ground. The dirt was softer than he'd expected. After having been on his feet all day, it was a bit of a relief. Milky White had been relatively...milky...today. His hands weren't cramped from pulling on her teats all day. Thank goodness. Sighing, and rubbing said hands together at the thought, Jack flopped back onto the dirt and underbrush. His view of the sky was webbed in branches. He squinted at the setting sun, which glimmered mischievously behind the wooden cracks as it made its slow descent. The next thing he knew, Jack was opening his eyes, after hearing an audible snap to his right. He leaned up on his elbows, hair an utter mess as his cap had fallen off as he'd slept. There was no sign of...anyone. Perhaps a sweet and cuddly woodland creature passed through? Most likely. Then again... Jack got up rather quickly, grabbing his hat and stuffing it onto his head. Another snap. Two, three. Finally, he heard leaves rustling and footsteps, until a figure appeared before him. |
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| Angelic_Psychosis | Jul 30 2008, 01:28 PM Post #2 |
Merchant
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Princess Jade was not amused. After stumbling through woods for about an hour, she was beginning to have second thoughts about walking all the way to the nearest dragon. Instead, she decided, she would turn around and take a carriage up to the cave, and then walk the short distance into the cave. Her feet hurt. Princesses were not supposed to walk a lot. Then she stumbled into a peasant... Boy, for lack of a better word. He was sitting on the ground with a rather stupid expression on his face. "You there, boy!" she exclaimed imperiously. "Conduct me back to the castle and I'll make sure to reward you for your troubles!" She set her face into a mask of poised dignity, even though her ankles were beginning to throb. A bolt of inspiration struck her anyway. "Or better, conduct me to the dragon of Eldenwood, who threatens my father's kingdom of Guessex should he not receive his eldest daughter as a servant. That is me. Take me to it." Her voice was saturated with royal authority, and her beak like nose cut a dignified, if unappetizing, profile. The stupid lad would probably even believe her... |
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| Alandree | Jul 30 2008, 08:33 PM Post #3 |
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The Narrator
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Well, it was no sweet and cuddly woodland creature. Nor was it anything too, too terrible either, as he was anticipating. He squinted at the girl, whose fancy attire indicated quite plainly her state of class. She was noble. Royal even, perhaps. Rubbing his back, Jack rose to his full height, as was the thing to do when in front of ladies, so his mother said. He cleared his throat a little as she spoke, being a bit taken aback by her abrupt command. He opened his mouth to say something about the castle, when she changed her mind, and went on speaking. Jack listened with slight befuddlement, wrinkling his nose a little on one side. "..G-Guessex? Eldenwood? ...Dragon?? I...I've not heard of any of those. I mean, I know what a dragon is, I suppose..." He trailed off, thinking about pictures of dragons he'd seen as a child. He remembered one with an orange tail and a mouse's head. Then another with odd toes and bat wings... |
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| Angelic_Psychosis | Jul 31 2008, 11:02 AM Post #4 |
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Merchant
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The expression on the princess' face grew severe. "Guessex. The kingdom of Guessex. The one you live in. Eldenwood's this wood." She frowned. Her sense of direction wasn't all that good. "Right?" The path she took was supposed to go through the main part of Guessex, then she was supposed to turn off into Eldenwood when she saw it. Then eventually something would find her, and... Wait, wasn't it the right fork that she was supposed to take? "Um... I'm not in Guessex, am I?" she asked. The left fork, she knew, went west into Hallenboch, which had a dark wood that looked remarkably like this. Of course, she didn't much know anything about forests. So that meant she was a kingdom away from the dragon. Great. And if she was found here, her dragon story wouldn't make much sense. "Okay, look here. I need to get back to my castle. Can you take me to the Harding Road?" she asked, naming the road she wasn't supposed to take. Edited by Angelic_Psychosis, Aug 4 2008, 04:43 PM.
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| Alandree | Jul 31 2008, 02:18 PM Post #5 |
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The Narrator
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Jack was hopeless at geography. Well, he was hopeless at most things that required facts and figures. Unless there were a lot of pictures mixed in with the facts, coloured pictures, he couldn't stand to gain much. "...Who are you?" He asked, not really sure where Harding Road was either. Perhaps exchanging formalities would help. How, of coarse, was any one's guess. "My name is Jack. Are you a princess?" That, to any normal person, was obvious, but to Jack, there could always be alternative explanations for everything...or maybe he was just dumb. Some would agree with the latter. Most would. She looked lost, certainly. Out of place too. He hoped to help, but he mind was wont to become distracted. The shiny moving object, a beetle, was crawling about, and it brought friends. Jack looked down as they moved along, crossing the path in formation. This wood was odd. |
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| Angelic_Psychosis | Jul 31 2008, 03:54 PM Post #6 |
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Merchant
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Had this been a Disney movie, Jade would have slapped her face in such away as to achieve giggles from children in the front row. As this isn't, she stared at Jack in unmanifested horror for a moment, before her ego took over and caused her apparent size to about, oh, double. "Who am I?" she asked. "I am Princess Jade, eldest daughter of the KING of GUESSEX!" She was starting to shriek. "And YOU are a completely useless PEASANT!" And with that, she turned and started to storm away in a huff, sure that if she just went back the way she came that everything would work out for the best. And then she noticed the rat-sized beetles. Her scream of surprise was quite higher than human ears can normally hear. "What are they?" she demanded shrilly, backing away slowly. With what seemed like exaggerated slowness, she glanced behind her and saw several more of the creatures scurrying toward her. "Mary and Joseph!" she squeaked, and tore of, stumbling through the woods and ripping her dress in her hurry to get away. About ten yards away, she stumbled on a root and fell on her face. |
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| Alandree | Jul 31 2008, 04:11 PM Post #7 |
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The Narrator
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With each reverberating syllable, Jack the peasant's eyes grew wider. By the time she'd, indeed, reached the word 'peasant', it was hard for him to blink. They were stuck open, as if she'd poked pins through his eyelids. It was possible he'd uttered a few incoherent vowel-filled words, but the precise meaning behind them was lost. Then the beetles caught her attention. He was about to back away slowly, before she thought to yell some more. Unfortunately, she did not merely yell. She screamed. He jumped about three feet in the air, pulling at his hair and holding his palms over his ears. "Those are...just-" He was about to say beetles, of coarse, but then they all started towards her. With a vengeance, so it seemed! Perhaps she smelled good? Could beetles smell? Whatever the reason, he decided that there was nothing else to do but go after her. And kill the insects. It was a shame, he didn't like killing little things. But they were threatening the princess of...Whatsex. Jack supposed it was his duty to rescue her, even if they were just bugs. Once she'd gone out of sight, the beetles following, Jack trudged on after her. Them. He saw a bit of cloth on a branch, so he picked it up. Then he saw her come to a stop. Or rather, a fall. The beetles were gaining. Jack lept between them and began stomping about, squishing each one. They squeeled a little as they died, but were otherwise no match for him. |
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| Angelic_Psychosis | Jul 31 2008, 05:00 PM Post #8 |
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Merchant
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Princess Jade scrambled to her feet desperately, scraping her palms and tearing her dress in her hurry to escape the creatures. She heard the useless peasant stumble in the same place as she had, and she yelled at him wildly. "Kill those things!" and behold, she heard him get to his feet and squish the... creatures with his boots. She whirled around as the last one crunched and was squished. Her mouth dropped open, and she spluttered something incoherent. "Y-you saved me!" she screeched. Most people would have followed this with a thank you, but since this was Princess Jade... Her brown eyes studied the boy more closely now. He wasn't really a boy, she realized, but he just seemed young because he exuded an aura of intrinsic naivety. He probably wouldn't know an innuendo if it shoved a carrot up his ass. And he probably thought that phrase probably had something to do with feeding a donkey. But now that she looked at him more closely, she realized that behind that smiling, young aura was a strong, almost muscular young man. But still a stupid peasant. She didn't fall in love that easy. |
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| Alandree | Jul 31 2008, 05:10 PM Post #9 |
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The Narrator
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"Hm." He said as the last one was extinguished. They felt funny underneath his boot. Roundish, and protuberant shells. Jack wiggled his foot around, feeling it teeter about on the shell. Hmm hmmhmm... Then she shrieked again. Not as loud, but loud enough to get his attention again. Jack offered her an open face, with not so much a grin, as a smile which one might have given to a child, or a simpleton. Rich, coming from him. He offered her a rather abruptly shot out hand, shuffling hesitantly towards her, as if she might bite if he moved too fast. "There's much worse things out here than beetles." At this, he looked over his shoulder, as if one of the 'worse things' might jump out right at this second. No sign. So far. "...Princess." |
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| Angelic_Psychosis | Jul 31 2008, 05:26 PM Post #10 |
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Merchant
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Princess Jade gasped in shock and placed her raw hand on her bare sternum as the boy audaciously stuck out his grimy hand at her. She stared at it for a moment like it was diseased, then attempted to ignore it. "Worse things than those beetles? Get me out of this wood this instant," she demanded in her best imperative. She didn't want to be around when more beetles arrived, or whatever else lived in woods like this. Worse? She shuddered. She hated bugs with a fiery passion. But at least he acknowledged her royalty. Never let the peasants get big heads, she knew, or they wouldn't work or listen, and when peasants don't listen to their superiors, something bad was bound to happen. Crop failure, overthrown governments... She shuddered at the thought. |
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| Alandree | Jul 31 2008, 05:35 PM Post #11 |
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The Narrator
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Well, it didn't seem like she was going to take it. So, he dropped his arm at his side once again, just as stiffly, odd smile fading just so. "I can take you to the village. From there you could--Oh!" He'd almost forgotten. In his other hand was, now wrinkled, the torn bit of her dress he'd picked up. Jack extended said hand at her, instead. "You...lost this, Princess. Do you have a name? Besides...'Princess'." Did princesses have names like peasants? Perhaps they were all just called Princess of Whatsex. Or King of...dom. "From there you could do...whatever. Or! I could take you to the road. Maybe that will take you to...Wh-what...sex." He frowned a bit to himself, bringing a finger from the hand he wasn't using to his lip and tapping it thoughtfully. |
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| Angelic_Psychosis | Jul 31 2008, 05:58 PM Post #12 |
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Merchant
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Princess Jade sighed heavily ans snatched the piece of cloth from his hand. "Jade. Princess Jade of Guessex." The adrenaline from her panicked rush earlier had drained away, and now she felt more tired than ever. "And just... Y'know what, just take me to the village." She sighed again and started trudging back the way she came. "And if there're any more..." she searched for a word, "creatures, please kill them." And then, remembering herself, she grasped at the shreds of dignity she had left and gathered them together protectively, straightening her back. "Well. We should be off then." |
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| Alandree | Aug 1 2008, 07:39 PM Post #13 |
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The Narrator
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"Er, yes. Let's go." He turned round sharply and headed through the trees on an unmarked path. "Follow me!" Though that, really, went without saying. "You're safe with me, Princess. I've killed a Giant, you know, so nothing much gets past me!" He added, cheerfully, "Beetles are nothing." He led her through some brambles, jumping like a giddy young fole over rocks and small creatures. "So...Princess Jade? I'm Jack." Said Jack, hoping that she was following close behind. He reached a low hanging branch, and bent it back so that she could go ahead of him through. |
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| Angelic_Psychosis | Aug 2 2008, 01:25 PM Post #14 |
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Merchant
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The eldest daughter of the King of Guessex followed the peasant lad into the deep dark forest. Admittedly, she was trusting an inferior with her life, but then, that was the arrangement. Trust in exchange for employment and the presence of someone so much greater was the only arrangement plausible. But the branches scrabbled and tore at her hands, face, and dress, and she was much slower going than he was. Luckily, he blathered on about some useless topic, so she could follow the sound of his jovial voice, figuring that she'd hear if he fell off a cliff. You could hardly expect better from a boy who had about much royalty as a piece of cabbage grown in Greece. |
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| Alandree | Aug 2 2008, 01:52 PM Post #15 |
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The Narrator
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"Hmm." He noticed she was a little far behind yet. So he waited, humming quietly to himself, turning his gaze to the sky once again to see where the sun was now. Disappearing. Hopefully they'd get out of the woods before nightfall. A little furry something ran past him, rather boldly. Jack whipped his head around to watch it, smiling rather vacantly and continuing to hum. He decided it was a woodchuck, or a chipmunk, or a squirrel. Those were all very odd names. |
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| Angelic_Psychosis | Aug 2 2008, 02:07 PM Post #16 |
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Merchant
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Princess Jade finally caught up with Jack, breathing hard and looking disturbingly grimy. I officially loathe forests. If it wasn't for my father's hunting, I order Eldenwood burned to the ground. She had a grimace upon her face as she walked by the peasant. "Alright, let's get out of this hellhole," she growled. "Lead on." Her emotions were fluctuating wildly now. The shift from fear to tiredness to irked vexation was a roller coaster on a full stomach to her. She felt hideous. |
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| Alandree | Aug 2 2008, 02:41 PM Post #17 |
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The Narrator
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Jack’s attention was flung back to earth as she brushed past him. The poor Princess…she seemed much worse for the wear than he. Slipping past her, and letting the branch twang out behind them at its release, Jack looked around for which way to go. Hmm. “Www…est now.” He thought aloud, frowning a bit, then leaping around to face west. He smiled briefly at her, and then continued onward. “Don’t step on that, Princess.” Jack warned, pointing to something curled up on the ground at the foot of a tree. |
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| Angelic_Psychosis | Aug 2 2008, 02:56 PM Post #18 |
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Merchant
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Princess Jade did not miss his hesitation. By all things holy... He doesn't know where we are! Her face grew pale as she turned to follow him, more out of fear of the forest now. Then his voice halted her again, telling her not to step where her foot was poised, frozen in midair. She looked down and saw the gleaming reptilian scales of a -- "Mary and Joseph!" she squeaked, hopping back away from the serpent. She dashed away and tried to walk as close to possible to the peasant. Walking alone could get her killed! |
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| Alandree | Aug 2 2008, 03:09 PM Post #19 |
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The Narrator
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He didn't think she'd appreciate a comforting pat on the shoulder, so he decided to draw his arms in a bit instead, continuing to walk past the snake. "I don't think that one would hurt you. But you never know. I mean, if I was stepped on whilst asleep, I’d..." Jack let that one trail off. He wasn’t sure that was helping the situation. Instead, he decided to think more carefully about where he was going. He was pretty sure about going west, but was the path exactly seventy paces from the mossy knoll? Perhaps that would become clearer once he actually reached said knoll. |
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| Angelic_Psychosis | Aug 2 2008, 03:25 PM Post #20 |
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Merchant
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Princess Jade paused when her, for lack of a better word, companion tried to comfort her but instead affirmed her thoughts. She felt like slapping him, but decided he might just ignore it, and she didn't feel like wasting the effort. Instead she glared at the trees around her, trying to scare anything in the trees away by the force of her grimace. Unfortunately, that meant she wasn't looking at the ground, where a tree root decided to not be ignored and grabbed her foot, sending her tumbling into and onto the peasant. |
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