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| Training For Rain and others With RP! | |
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| Topic Started: Apr 13 2008, 01:20 PM (162 Views) | |
| Shawn-lan | Apr 16 2008, 09:24 AM Post #11 |
half demon
  ![]](http://209.85.62.24/static/1/pip_r.png)
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OOC: LOLZ this thread iz more popular than actual RP. |
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| Rain-kun | Apr 16 2008, 10:49 AM Post #12 |
 
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Noven was waiting outside of two large doors .Then suddenly, he slipped in through the doors into a pith black room filled with darkness. As he crept he noticed he wasn’t alone. He saw a young boy who looked like he was ten years old. He stayed back in the shadows watching him. |
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| Dylan | Apr 16 2008, 08:34 PM Post #13 |
DOUBLE SHIFTS. NO BREAKS.
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Very good, everyone. Shawn: Work on description, use words to help us to envision his entering. "He wore Goggles that were tinted black so you couldn’t see his eyes" Big no there though. Instead of telling us what we can't and can't do, use better words. "Shielding his eyes from those who would wish to know more than they need to were a pair of thick ebony-tinted goggles." Not the best example but still.... Abi: Thank you for joining. Great job there. She immediately gives the disposition of the room, making it dark, foreboding, and with uncertainties there. Any minute spent longer in there could mean some darkened figure could slither up behind her and admire the thickness of her skull, whispering in her ear that they wished to crush it in. >;3 Gig: Also, thank you. My class grows every moment of this colliding time stream we exist in. In this situation, you add so much information that I wish to know this child prior. You give me the warm and wondrous feel of a child’s eyes observing the world, a point of view that is often overlooked. Amazing. I am keeping my eye on you. Rain: Personally, I don't like to introduce my character so soon. I like putting him on a off beat introduction. An example is... CLICK HERE FOR EXAMPLE In this, I present Cacciato in a dream scene, but don't mention his name until much later. It gives readers a strange feeling into it. Who is this boy in open field, enjoying the flowers and beauty of it all. I can't tell you how great this is, everyone. You are giving me so much confidence in my own ability, and I'm helping you in return. Seriously, you guys rock! Keep up the good work. And Gig, we just might have a Duel or encounter soon. Count on it, my child. |
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| Fluffy | Apr 17 2008, 08:06 AM Post #14 |
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How is bear introducing his rp character? I'm not getting it.  Thank you! What's the next assignment! >3 |
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| Rain-kun | Apr 17 2008, 09:07 AM Post #15 |
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Thank you very much, I will work on it. That was a great example, I understand now. |
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| Shawn-lan | Apr 17 2008, 09:34 AM Post #16 |
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half demon
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wow... that was a loooooong example. but a good one. I get what your saying about description I will try and work on that. Just a random question about the class... Are we gonna have like an exam covering the different topics like entering a room cuz tat wud be awsome! Im just sayin Im having fun here thx for teachin us. |
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| Fluffy | Apr 17 2008, 07:25 PM Post #17 |
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Ohh! Yes, Arigato P-Sensei!  (P what's ur last name so i can address you right? <.<)
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| Dylan | Apr 18 2008, 07:41 PM Post #18 |
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DOUBLE SHIFTS. NO BREAKS.
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"I collected scraps. Just scraps, nothing more. From the trays they gave us. If I could pull, scratch, and bite it fast enough to not be noticed, I would get a piece. A scrap. A puzzle piece, I looked at it like a puzzle piece. This piece was the time we spent in California. This piece was the beach where we walked. This piece was the bill from that Cafe that was so pricey... remember that? We had to use your credit card, and I was sulking all the way home? I know you do. That's why I made it. I snuck past cameras, make the guards look the other way, even risked my life with the others, to make it.” “Do you see it? See those wings? Paper wings. Their for you, you know? Because… I can tell these things. Your like an angel, but not just “like”. No you are the real deal.” “Stop it, stop it. Just stop, ok!? Why do you keep lying to me? To yourself? YOU’RE AN ANGEL! MY ANGEL! And I will burn this prison, this house, this bar, this cell, this world, to make you understand!” Next lesson. Respond to him as best as you can. |
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5:20 AM Dec 1
