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| Chuck Norris Jokes; title self explanitory | |
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| Topic Started: Mar 18 2008, 09:25 AM (202 Views) | |
| Shawn-lan | Mar 18 2008, 09:25 AM Post #1 |
half demon
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Ok guys idk if you've heard any Chuck Norris Jokes but I am Obsessed so im gonna post a bunch of them here. you can comment post the ones you think are funny Im gonna keep posting more cuz they are halariouse. Anyway check these out... When Chuck Norris falls in water, Chuck Norris doesn't get wet. Water gets Chuck Norris. Chuck Norris doesn't actually write books, the words assemble themselves out of fear. Chuck Norris can divide by zero. Chuck Norris CAN believe it's not butter Chuck Norris doesnt shave; he kicks himself in the face. The only thing that can cut Chuck Norris is Chuck Norris. When taking the SAT, write "Chuck Norris" for every answer. You will score over 8000. On his birthday, Chuck Norris randomly selects one lucky child to be thrown into the sun. Chuck Norris doesn't throw up if he drinks too much. Chuck Norris throws down! Chuck Norris ordered a Big Mac at Burger King, and got one. Chuck Norris and Mr. T walked into a bar. The bar was instantly destroyed, as that level of awesome cannot be contained in one building. Chuck Norris doesn't bowl strikes, he just knocks down one pin and the other nine faint. Chuck Norris can touch MC Hammer. If you have five dollars and Chuck Norris has five dollars, Chuck Norris has more money than you. When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night, he checks his closet for Chuck Norris. When Chuck Norris does a pushup, he isn't lifting himself up, he's pushing the Earth down. Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door. Hellen Keller's favorite color is Chuck Norris. There is no such thing as global warming. Chuck Norris was cold, so he turned the sun up. Chuck Norris can set ants on fire with a magnifying glass. At night. According to Einstein's theory of relativity, Chuck Norris can actually roundhouse kick you yesterday. The Bible was originally titled "Chuck Norris and Friends" Chuck Norris was what Willis was talkin' about. Chuck Norris is the reason why Waldo is hiding. Chuck Norris uses a night light. Not because Chuck Norris is afraid of the dark, but the dark is afraid of Chuck Norris. In a fight between Batman and Darth Vader, the winner would be Chuck Norris Ozzy Osbourne bites the heads off of bats. Chuck Norris bites the heads off of Siberian Tigers. To be or not to be? That is the question. The answer? Chuck Norris. Chuck Norris never wet his bed as a child. The bed wet itself out of fear. Chuck Norris uses 8'x10' sheets of plywood as toilet paper. Chuck Norris uses tabasco sauce instead of visine. Chuck Norris doesn't chew gum. Chuck Norris chews tin foil. Godzilla is a Japanese rendition of Chuck Norris' first visit to Tokyo. heres more!!! They say curiosity killed the cat. This is false. Chuck Norris killed the cat. Every single one of them. There is no such thing as a lesbian, just a woman who has never met Chuck Norris. Chuck Norris crossed the road. No one has ever dared question his motives. One time, at band camp, Chuck Norris ate a percussionist. Chuck Norris doesn't say "who's your daddy", because he knows the answer. Chuck Norris once roundhouse-kicked a ten dollar bill into 200 nickels. There are now five cup sizes at Starbucks: Short, Tall, Grande, Venti, and Chuck Norris. Chuck Norris once created a flamethrower by urinating into a lighter. Chuck Norris once created a flamethrower by urinating into a lighter. Chuck Norris has to use a stunt double when he does crying scenes. Dinosaurs went extinct because of the Chuck Norrisaurus. Edited by Shawn-lan, Mar 18 2008, 10:05 AM.
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| The Fasian | Mar 18 2008, 09:30 PM Post #2 |
The speedy one
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Funny thread!!! This is the only one I can remember... A man once argued with Chuck Norris that the round house kick is not the most efficiant way of dispatching a foe. That man was never heard from again. It's not that good, but it's all I've got! |
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| Gig | Mar 19 2008, 06:49 AM Post #3 |
One who sets the sun
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Jean-Claude Van Damme once kicked Chuck Norris' ass. He was then awakened from his dream by a roundhouse kick to the face. Someone once videotaped Chuck Norris getting pissed off. It was called Walker: Texas Chain Saw Massacre. Edited by Gig, Mar 19 2008, 06:57 AM.
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| Shawn-lan | Mar 31 2008, 09:23 AM Post #4 |
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half demon
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one time chuck norris was refused a egg mcmuffin at 11:05, he round-house kicked the store so hard it became a wendys |
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| Rain-kun | Mar 31 2008, 11:09 AM Post #5 |
 
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| Fluffy | Apr 1 2008, 08:20 AM Post #6 |
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Chuck Norris.... ... O.o I'll Post One Later. >.< Okay.... Here It Is! XD Chuck Norris Can Paste Pics In Notepad. 
Edited by Fluffy, Apr 1 2008, 08:21 AM.
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| Shawn-lan | Apr 1 2008, 09:23 AM Post #7 |
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half demon
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thats funny ive never heard that one before. In the begining there was nothin.... Then chuck norris came a kicked it in the face and said "get a job!" and that is the theory of the universe. |
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| Rain-kun | Apr 1 2008, 11:12 AM Post #8 |
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| RoxasX | Apr 1 2008, 02:43 PM Post #9 |
No. XIII
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the question is, can chuck norris touch the puffidness? how bout that, boo boo? |
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| The Fasian | Apr 1 2008, 07:29 PM Post #10 |
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The speedy one
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Hmm... many a great man have sat for years trying to discover the answer, but you have no time to ponder these questions, for King Dedede has just picked up a Smash Ball! Here he goes!!! Twada de, twada de... BOOM! Look, waddle des have been sent all over the stage It looks like some Gordos might be in there too... ______________________________________________________________ Translation of answer: no |
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