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| Anne "Ice Heart" Darkblood; [Flagged] | |||||
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| Tweet Topic Started: Apr 4 2018, 10:01 PM (539 Views) | |||||
| PirateQueen102 | Apr 4 2018, 10:01 PM Post #1 | ||||
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Newbie
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Character Template [-----] Account Name: PirateQueen102 PirateQueen102 Basic Character Information Name: Anne Darkblood Nickname: Ice Heart Age: 20 Gender: Female Race: Human Affiliation: Pirates Bounty: Applicable only to Pirates. 0 Achievements: Profession: Entertainer- An entertainer makes his/her living through putting on shows. This profession is always specialized towards a specific type, and includes Dancer, Musician, Juggler and many more. Knowledge granted is job-specific. Entertainers can use their performance skills, be they song, dance or anything else, to influence others and use them as various buffs. Thief The Thief is a job closely related to the assassin. They both provide stealth capabilities, though a Thief gains lockpicking skills instead of poison knowledge, can generally know their way around the ways of barter and trade, and pickpocketing. Thieves don't have it hard to find 'underground info' in most cities, either. Position: Physical Appearance Height: 5'9" Weight: 125 lbs. Hair: Black Eyes: Brown Clothing/Accessories: Black tanktop, Black shorts, Black leather boots General Appearance: Shes a medium height, skinny girl with a big bust of a 38D. Her long black hair is usually kept down at all times. She also has a Full Back tattoo of a playing card of the Ace of Hearts. Spoiler: click to toggle Personality: Anne is a very flirtatious woman, and being a Seductress of sorts who will use her charms to get what she wants. Despite that, when it comes down to her friends and/or Crew, she is forever Loyal. She is a very aggressive fighter however, and she doesn't believe in backing down from a fight, She'll jump in head first if she feels it's necessary. Her views on the World Government are she hates them. Despite being the Daughter of a Marine, she is against their corruptible ways and despises them and everything they stand for. She sees herself as a dreamer of sorts, and will do anything to one day join a crew or have a crew of her own. She has read a lot of histories of the old time Pirates like the Strawhats, and became fascinated with the idea of becoming a pirate. She enjoys the idea of having a place in the world of the Pirate Era. Hometown: Marineford- Grand Line History: Anne was born in Marineford to a marine Captain father and a mother who was also a Marine. She was abandoned at birth and left to almost die in her hometown. As she was put from Family to Family, she grew to be very aggressive and an excellent fighter. While she was in Alabasta, she had done a lot of reading about certain pirates in the history books. She found the history of one pirate in particular... The Legendary "Fire Fist" Ace. She became obsessed with Ace's history, and she loved everything she learned. From this point, she decided to go and set sail and become a pirate., following in Ace's footsteps. She had also read of the history of "Soul King" Brook, so she took up a trade as a musician and used to perform on certain town streets and some islands for the natives. Abilities and Possessions Combat: Hand to Hand, Guns, Knives. She is a totally dirty fighter and will try to win by any means necessary. She will always jump into a fight, not really caring about her own safety. Weaponry: 1 Knife (Iron Quality) and 1 single shot Derringer. (Iron Quality) Items: Beli: 500,000 SD Earned: 0 Stat Points: 32 Advancement Points: SD Remaining: Stats:
Techniques Regular Technique Points: 16 Used Regular Technique Points: 0 Special Technique Points: 0 Used Special Technique Points: 0
Development History Gains/Losses: Edit Log: Spoiler: click to toggle
Edited by PirateQueen102, Jun 18 2018, 07:56 PM.
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| ♦ InvadingAlex | Apr 4 2018, 11:49 PM Post #2 | ||||
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OPRP Peasant
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Hello there and welcome again to the site! I'll be taking a look at your character application today. Please change your Affiliation to either "Pirate", "Bounty Hunter", "Marine" or "Other". The site canon is 100 years after the events of One Piece, and we don't allow being affiliated with canon characters. Please remove all fame rankings that do not pertain to your Affiliation. So if you're a pirate, you only have a Bounty. If you're a Bounty Hunter, you only have Threat. If you're a marine, you only have Rank. This also reads in the application itself, so I don't know how you missed that. Anne is a starter character, so she cannot have any bounty, threat or rank. Since you seem to be aiming for a pirate character, that would mean that you start without a bounty. Please take a look at the Rules section of the website. You'll find all Professions there (in addition to everything else you need). Please add your character's Weight. Hometown should read as "Marineford - Grand Line" Please elaborate on Anne's personality. I want to see at least two paragraphs of description. Same on her history. I want to see at least two decent-sized paragraphs. Please write something about her combat style under the Combat section. Stats should be 32. You don't seem to have chosen any traits. All starter characters have 3 General traits and 1 Professional trait. If you don't want to spend your traits yet, you can also put them into Fated - find out more in the Rules section! The Hie Hie no Mi is currently taken, and it costs 7 Traits to take, being a tier 1 devil fruit. Please remove it from your character sheet. If you have any questions, don't hesitate to ask. |
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RIO BORLIN ARSTEEL TALLARN
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| PirateQueen102 | Apr 5 2018, 03:03 PM Post #3 | ||||
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Hey there, I have done all I can for this application. If anything else is needed, please let me know. Thank you, Signed, Rachael |
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| ♦ InvadingAlex | Apr 6 2018, 01:16 AM Post #4 | ||||
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OPRP Peasant
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Already looks better! Still some things missing, though! :) Professions (if you want Entertainer and Thief) should read as follows: Entertainer Spoiler: click to toggle Thief Spoiler: click to toggle I know that you said you did what you could, but please try to come up with more things about her personality. I guarantee it will make your experience more interesting on the long term. I'd like to see another paragraph in the Personality section. I'd like to see something in your history about how Anne became an Entertainer. As far as your Weaponry goes, how many knives does Anne have? And what kind of gun? As per this clarification, starter characters get either two free one-handed weapons (such as two knives, or two pistols, or one knife and one pistol) or one two-handed weapon, such as a rifle or a katana. All starter weapons can only be iron quality. You can also purchase additional weapons (such as an additional knife or a gun). If you want to have two knives and a single-shot pistol, for example, you could get the two knives free and then you would pay 80k for the single-shot pistol, leaving you with 420,000 beli. Either way, I'd like you to clarify the amount of knives and the type of gun in your weaponry section, and denote them as iron quality. SD Earned should be 0. Stat Points should be 32. You've spent 2 General Traits. You still have 1 Professional Trait and 1 General Trait left. Here is a list of the traits. You don't have to spend all of your traits, of course, but if you want to save them up for something, you should put the traits into Fated (read the linked thread for more information). Accuracy should read as Accuracy: 11 (8+3 from Superb Accuracy) Fortune should be 8. Fortune is calculated as your Stat Points divided by 4. Alright, that's about it for now! |
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RIO BORLIN ARSTEEL TALLARN
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| ♦ InvadingAlex | Apr 8 2018, 10:53 PM Post #5 | ||||
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OPRP Peasant
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I'll flag this for approval because it's more or less done, but there are still two minor things to change: Please mark the weapons down as follows: 1 knife [iron quality] 1 single-shot Derringer [iron quality] This is just to make it clearer. Accuracy should still be as follows, again for clarity: Accuracy: 11 (8+3 from Superb Accuracy) Topic is flagged for approval. |
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RIO BORLIN ARSTEEL TALLARN
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| PirateQueen102 | Apr 9 2018, 05:19 PM Post #6 | ||||
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Hey there, Thank you so much...I'm so glad to be flagged for approval. I fixed the 2 things you asked for. Can't wait to start RPing with her . Should be great fun. |
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| ♣ StarBarks | Apr 14 2018, 01:43 AM Post #7 | ||||
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Soyboy
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Hey there, just a few more things before we approve this: I'd prefer some more detail on clothing, stuff like how the clothing's condition is and how it's worn by the individual. Also as well as general appearance, what kind of stride do they take? Are they visually confident in their stance? What had of vibe to they give off and why? These two sections should be at least a small paragraph each. Not required, but you might want to expand on history. The more detailed and in depth the character, the more you'll like the character, i think. Rather have characters be active for longer than they are rather than burning out on the first SL. Stat points would still be 32, rather than 0. The "Stats:" heading is more of a subheading for the bullet points below. You'd still be required to add the remaining traits into fated/In-training. If you're confused by this, please revise the traits section via the rules. Also note that Superb Accuracy is taking up two General traits rather then just traits for clarification. |
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| PirateQueen102 | Apr 16 2018, 06:41 PM Post #8 | ||||
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I did all i could for this app. I did all I was told to do. According to most of the mods I talked to. I'm good. I've been flagged for approval. | ||||
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| ♣ StarBarks | Apr 17 2018, 04:15 AM Post #9 | ||||
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Soyboy
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This would be fine with there wasn't still problems with the app itself. Being Flagged for approval is only one mod's approval of the app, thus an individual can overlook things: this is why we have a two step process, one mod to flag and another to approve. Both mods look over the app. Regardless of how many mods you may have talked to, there are still glaring issues with the app: Stat points still need to be listed as 32 rather than left blank. The "Stats:" heading is more of a subheading for the bullet points below. And your char has 3 general traits and 1 professional trait, not just 2 traits. If you don't wish to spend these as of now, you can place them in fated traits which would have to be listed on the app. Info on this is in the Traits section of the Rules. I'd still advise developing on clothing and history, as it will benefit both you and other roleplayers in the future; having a clear description on a character helps other characters/users to get a clear view of the character's appearance. Expanding on history allows the character to have more depth to them, stuff like expanding on why she was abandoned at birth, why she grew to be an aggressive person, her childhood and experiences in her past that shape who she is today. Edited by StarBarks, Apr 17 2018, 04:21 AM.
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| PirateQueen102 | May 14 2018, 12:18 PM Post #10 | ||||
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Hey there, I finished everything on my character app. Sorry it took so long but I have been very busy. So everything should be good now. Thanks. |
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| ♥ Bright | May 17 2018, 10:37 AM Post #11 | ||||
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Wannabe Writer
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Sorry, still a few things you've missed. Your primary profession bonus, specifically "Entertainers can use their performance skills, be they song, dance or anything else, to influence others and use them as various buffs." needs to be italicized. You still don't have any personality section. We need at least a brief idea of what she is like, who she is. You haven't actually distributed your stat points or listed the available stats. You can read about stats here It might also help to just go through the rules again, or perhaps to look over some other new character apps to get a sense of what we're after and how roughly they should look. You don't necessarily need the same amount of words as the following examples, or any fancy coloring or anything, but they should give you an idea of what's needed and maybe provide some inspiration. Example 1, Example2, Example 3 |
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Characters! | |||||
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| ♣ Vilis | Jun 15 2018, 11:41 PM Post #12 | ||||
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Edits doujins 4 $$$
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You can ask this to be moved back at any time. | ||||
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Jamie Cross Rebecca Right Chloe Velvet
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3,000,000 • SD Earned: 98 • Beli: 37,000,000 • Location: Bricks Blues Isle – Route Two/Grand line • Color = #7F0123








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