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Cactus Flavoured Disappointment
Topic Started: Mar 11 2018, 08:26 AM (513 Views)
Axel
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Aggressively Useless
[ *  *  *  * ]
"So I'm not saying that I ever would but because I'm part monkey right, would that be legal? Maybe not legal, but like socially acceptable. That's still not the word I'm looking for… You get what I mean though, right?"

"Sir, for the last time, you really do need to leave or we will call the authorities."

"Fine, be that way. I didn't want your cactus flavoured lamb shoulder in the first place. I'll just go some place where my intellectual wizardry is welcome."

Sami grumbled and left the restaurant, much to the delight of all the parents of small children in the building. Over the course of the last hour and a half, he had been systematically kicked from every single establishment within a three hundred meter radius of his current location. He had no idea how he ended up on this glorified rock in the first place, his original destination had been The New World. The idiot had likely accidentally gotten on the wrong ship, though torturing the crew constantly probably led to him being dumped on this miserable excuse for an island.

Sitting on the ground outside of a bar that he had been barred for life from after a little incident involving a bottle, a drunk fellow and twenty six different pencils, the grey haired man sighed. He was really quite lost. Not lost enough to actually ask for help or anything of course, his ego would not allow such a thing. No, just lost enough to mumble incoherently to himself on the street as random strangers passing by threw coins at him like he was homeless.

"Sometimes I think you're my only friend Snakey… Still nothing huh? Why don't you try talking for once you scaly fuck. I can see your teeth, don't even try and hide them."

Sami looked at his snake tail, patiently waiting for it to respond. Now, you see, the snake tail wasn't actually sentient due to the fact it is literally just the Nue's tail and therefore didn't posses a brain of its own. However, Sami likely didn't posses a brain of his own and as a result struggled to grapple with the concept that a thing with a mouth might not be able to think for itself. Due to this development, or underdevelopment in regards to the mental ability of one Samuel Mohr, daily arguments between a man and his own tail were a common occurrence.

"Fine, just ignore me. Don't be complaining to me when you don't get your rats for dinner. Then we'll see who's the one receiving the silent treatment. I'll give you a hint, it's you and not me."

On another note, Sami had been trying to feed his snake tail rats over the course of the last month to varying levels of success. Considering there was no stomach, the amount of rat that disappeared into the mouth of the snake was both surprising and concerning at the same time.

Scratching his head, the martial artist yawned. He would probably have to figure out what to do with his immediate future. Sure he could just steal another boat and sail off but knowing his luck he'd somehow end up in the Blues or something. The man shuddered just thinking about it, that's where all the poor people lived. An individual with a reputation such as himself could not even be seen associating with those peasants, let alone have to live there. It would be a disgrace. He'd just stick to the Grand Line, where the people were rich and the island navigation and progression made next to no sense. Yes, Sami was still completely confused as to how he had made his way from the Sea Train Zone to here.

Springing to his feet and lazily brushing off any dirt and rocks on his clothing, the idiot began to move. After all, sitting in front of a bar and accruing currency would only get him so far in life. So what if all the bars and restaurants had kicked him out? He'd just find a new one to spend as little money as possible on. If they all kicked him out, then he'd just go in and make them accept his patronage by the only way he knew how. A string of incoherent nonsense followed by a few sensible punched in the face.
Edited by Axel, Mar 11 2018, 08:27 AM.
Sami Mohr

James Bledsoe

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Roy had just arrived on Cactus Village, but how he actually got there was way too convenient to make any real sense. He left his hometown on a shitty little sail boat and went around to a couple other islands in the East Blue. All he really did on said islands was get in fights and maybe drink a bit. On Gecko Island the rowdy boy saw a Marine ship preparing to leave. Why? Didnt matter, but it gave Roy an idea. He gave one of the lower ranking Marines a fake ass sob story, complete with crocodile tears, so he'd be let onto the ship on their way to the Grand Line. Poor chore boy actually believed him and let Roy stay on the ship secretly. They crossed the Calm Belt and Roy found himself on Cactus Village.

"Huh. I guess this place is called Cactus Island for a reason."

The teenager mumbled to himself while gazing upon the huge, green, cactus-looking mountains that populated the island. After venturing in for a bit Roy came across something... strange, to say the least. He spied some guy talking to himself. No, is he? No way. IS THIS GUY TALKING TO HIS TAIL ? WHY DOES HE HAVE A TAIL? Whatever, whatever. The stranger seemed familiar to Roy, but he couldn't put his finger on it. Roy strolled over to the man and decided he'd strike up a conversation with the guy.

"Hey! What's up with that weird ass tail of yours?"

Now that he got a good look, the man also had sharp fingernails and teeth. Just What IS this guy?
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Cottage
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[ * ]
Her hips twisting and popping like a serpent’s strike to Ooo’s and Ah’s from the crowd. She knew she had them right where she wanted them. And if she wanted their pockets empty she had to get them on their feet.

Increasing the speed of her hips increased the speed of their heartbeats. It was easy to get the men on their feet but to get the women she needed a big finish. Through the dance’s use of subtle hand gestures she signaled the club’s band to speed up three times as fast, and as they built up so did she. Percussion blasting away until the speed could not be furthered, making heart beats speed until they could not be furthered. There was nowhere left to go but down, so the crowd needed their big finish.

They were no longer people watching a performance they were a part of a moment reaching it’s climax. So Raspberry’s hips hit every note, moving faster than most people could have ever imagined. And so she spun, her hips carrying the cadence at which they had already set and the crowd had gotten as loud as they ever had. The music stopped and Raspberry froze. Hands in her purple hair, nose pointing at the ceiling, her chest out, back arched, legs flexed in a v and standing atop tipped toes. The crowd roared and the platform filled with beli, jewelry, and roses a plenty.

As much as Raspberry hated people she really knew how to work them. She took a bow and collected her earnings. She walked off stage with enough for a month’s worth of food and that was after the ten percent cut for the promoter, who collected his share as she walked to a seat at the bar.

“Barkeep, Whiskey Double, and a bowl of water for him.”

She pointed at Blueberry who had taken a seat on the floor beside her. She reached down and rubbed his back before taking a paper towel to a smudge on the fox’s shades. He smiled and put his head back down as Raspberry turned her attention to the drink placed in front of her. Down her gullet it went, and the barkeep refilled it almost instantly, having delivered the fox’s water. Being an impatient woman, she appreciated the quick response. So down the gullet went another glass and down on the bar went the barkeep’s tip, with a little extra as Raspberry was feeling generous.

“Let’s go outside, Little One. I need some air.”

The beads of her bra, belt, and skirt clicked and clacked as she walked outside. Her bare feet slapped and pitter-pattered the concrete outside the club. She leaned her back against the stone wall, and pulled out a cigarette and matchbook from inside her bra. She debated on lighting it. She wondered if she would quit. She had been thinking about it for weeks now. She wondered if she could quit. She looked down at her feet, at Blueberry, whose attention was fixed. What was he looking at?
Edited by Cottage, Mar 12 2018, 06:22 AM.
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Zen
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There was one major advantage to being a pirate without a bounty. Normal people still let you perform normal jobs for them, especially if you were a licensed medical expert. Even though this entire island had a pretty serious death-boner, every town had its clinic. In the age of piracy, these clinics were often undermanned, and it was traveling experts like Cool that profited from helping these places out. Since she lacked a crew of her own, this was the only way she could afford getting around. She even had to hitch a ride across Reverse Mountain to get here to Cactus Island.

Cool had been on Cactus Island for a couple of weeks now, and while she'd made good money aiding the sick and poor, she was also starting to understand why people avoided the place. She had always been quiet and reserved, but this place was making her even more withdrawn than usual. Cactus Island's death cult lifestyle was infectious. Cool realized she had to go look for a way off, before she'd be stuck here forever.

Holding Rascal with one arm, she fed the raccoon a few walnuts. If she didn't, he'd just go grab them out of her bag later anyway. Her little raccoon friend wasn't insatiable, but she definitely had to remember feeding him regularly. Wouldn't be the first time she'd come back to an opened and emptied bag. She loved the raccoon. Her journey would've been a lot more lonely and uninteresting without his presence. Still, she couldn't deny that he'd definitely earned that name of his.

The young doctor trundled down the street as she continued to feed her companion. Surely there'd be something to do. She was almost getting desperate for something to happen that wasn't just more graves and more morose priests. The priests. The fucking priests. They definitely didn't help to improve Cool's mood or opinion concerning Cactus Island. She'd already gotten some dark looks from those hooded bastards for helping a man with a rather serious infection. They were so rock hard for death they were willing to abandon those in need for it. God, Cool hated Cactus Island.

The girl had been so preoccupied with thinking about wanting to get out that she almost bumped into someone. Stopping just in time, she looked up, a little confused. Blinking, she took in the situation she'd waltzed into. She'd almost bumped into a rather plain-looking youth, who was talking to a shabby-looking fellow who appeared to have a snake for a tail. "Huh. You look like an interesting fellow." Cool said as she looked at the gray-haired man's tail.

For a moment, she seemed struck by discomfort. Despite the rather pleasant temperature, Cool shivered. Her shoulders hunched up, pushing the fake fur lining of her winter coat's hood over the bottom half of her face. Even though the shivering seemed to have come out of nowhere, Cool did not appear disturbed by it as she continued to curiously look at the man's strange tail.
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Axel
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OOC: Reason for Edit


Sami sure was popular today, usually people avoided him while muttering among themselves and covering the eyes of their children. That being said, the boy with the black hair seemed particularly excited about his monstrosity of a tail. His other 'fan' was some sheepish looking lady, with a racoon, who appeared to be cold even though the temperature out was in the high twenties (Celsius, I don't particularly care for anyone who uses Fahrenheit). They were probably weridos, unlike Sami of course.

"My mother always taught me it was rude to point out how other people were different. Not that you're weird or anything Snakey! No, you're the best of course. Why don't you introduce yourself to this delinquent youth likely affiliated with local gangs."

Sami paused and stood there silently for about thirty seconds, waiting patiently for the tail to speak up.

"Hmm, well one day I guess. Anyway, this is Snakey. He doesn't talk much, or at all to be honest. Usually he just lazes around until I want him to bite someone. Oh yeah, he's also a telepath. Kind of, he can't read the mind of anyone but myself. Speaking of telepaths…"

The grey haired idiot had began rambling again, struggling to piece together the fact that the snake moved on mental command because it was physically part of him. Usually when his mouth started spewing garbage it would take some time before he ran out of topics.

"And that's why I don't think that fishmen should be allowed within sixty meters of any schools. I mean, it's obviously the only solution. Speaking of solutio-"

"Hey! I told you to get the hell out of here! Don't just loiter around the front, you're driving away business. Things were just starting to look up with the new dancer and all, don't need you damn pirate messing it all up for everyone."

The owner of the bar had come out, obviously hearing Sami's ridiculous and borderline racially insensitve rant. The owner was a larger man who had been furious when Sami had last entered his establishment.

"Dude, what are you talking about? I'm not a pirate. I clearly have two usable eyes and four usable limbs. Also I'm not bothering anyone out here, just minding my own business."

"You're bothering me…"

"Shut up, don't care."

The useless merchant silenced a passerby who had heard the brunt of the tirade. Right now he was engaged in a war of words with the barkeep, unintentionally whittling away at the man with his sheer stupidity. All the owner could do was sigh, pulling out a piece of paper from his pocket. Unfurling it and showing the world, it was a picture of Sami's dumb face with the sum of 130,000,000 underneath it.

"I thought I recognised you so I went digging, now get out here before I call the marines. I don't need no criminals ruining my business. I just paid for repairs to the windows after the brawl last week."

"That's clearly a forgery! I have never, ever dug for treasure after following a map with an X on it."

Sami genuinely refused to believe that he was a pirate. In the man's warped mind he was just a merchant who occasionally caused mass panic and deaths. Just a regular man, well aside from the whole he could turn into a Nue thing. The bar owner shook his head and snapped his fingers. A large, muscular gentleman emerged from the bar and started to walk towards the idiot. The bouncer stopped just in front of him and put out both hands, attempting to grab Sami by the collar.

Just like that, the Devil Fruit user burst into smoke, the hands passing harmlessly through where his collar had once been. Reforming into a human again, he punched the bouncer straight in the face with all his strength. The man went flying through the air and crashed through the window of the bar, screams emerging from inside the bar.

"Touchdown! That's a home run! Ball game!"

Sami also didn't understand sports very well, they were too complicated for him so he often just mushed all the terms together. During this whole ordeal however, the barkeep had been on his baby den den mushi.

"I've already called the cops, so get out of here! Oh not the windows again… Why is it always the windows…"

"Fine then. I can see when I'm not welcome. It's not that I'm scared of marines or anything. Yeah, that's totally not why I'm walking away!"

He huffed off, looking for the nearest mountain to try and walk up in anger. He could hear the bouncer groaning through the shattered glass, mumbling something about how this job didn't have the right healthcare package. The owner then turned his eyes towards Roy and Cool.

"You two with that bastard!? Get outta here before the marines come if you know what's good for you!"
Edited by Axel, Mar 15 2018, 09:41 PM.
Sami Mohr

James Bledsoe

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Roy just stared at the monkey man in shock and awe. Shock because he did not expect the previously interesting-looking guy to be such a dumbass. And awe because he truly couldn't fathom how stupid someone could be. It actually pissed the thug looking boy off how stupid this guy was. And he was racist to boot. Roy was still taking in how stupid and annoying Sami was when the bar owner has come out was telling the loiterer.

"Who're you calling a de-"

Before Roy could even finish Sami was walking away. God, what the fuck? Was that snake even his tail? Did he just shove a snake up his ass? Wouldn't be surprising, and who the hell was this other chick? And why the hell was this bar owner lumping him together with that idiot? AND WHY THE HELL WAS THAT IDIOT SO STRONG? Roy ignored the owner and turned to the girl that just walked over to them recently.

"What the hell was that?

He looked at the girl and threw his thumb over his shoulder, in the direction Sami went. Sami was a real idiot and kind of annoying, yet Roy kind of liked him. His idiocy had some kind of charm that distracted him from the gloomy death filled Cactus Island.

"Get the hell out of here!"

The owner was getting increasingly pissed. Roy simply showed him a special hand gesture he quite liked, and later him no mind.
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Cottage
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Once she had realized what her furry friend had set his eye on she clutched him by the scruff of his neck. “Don’t you dare.” She said as they engaged in a tiny tug of war; Raspberry pulled Blueberry backward as Blueberry pulled Raspberry forward. The tiny tug of war was hard-fought but ended before it really began. And that was surely thanks to the appearance of the Club’s owner and promoter who had taken time out of his busy schedule to scream at a trio in front of his establishment.

In truth he did deserve thanks. He saved a woman’s raccoon from being mauled, however inadvertent the act may have been. Raspberry was grateful for it regardless. It meant she wouldn’t have another dead animal dropped at her feet. It was a nice gesture Blueberry would make from time to time but it was definitely a gesture Raspberry could live without. She quickly patted her companion on the back and told him to relax which he did, although his eyes still never left the raccoon.

Instinctively Raspberry laid her back against the wall once again, this time to watch the drama of the day play out. As the owner yelled she recognized the man he was yelling at. He had come through the club earlier that day and while she hadn’t a significant interaction with him she could tell he was a few screws short of a hardware store. She almost felt sorry for the guy. Even Raspberry with her disdainful attitude and resting bitch-face didn’t make people that uncomfortable.

But her pity didn’t last long as her eyebrow raised at the mention of the word pirate. Before she knew it she was staring at a man worth 130,000,000. ‘What could he have done to get such a high number?’ She asked herself as the bouncer went flying through the window next to her.

She had no idea who the man was, but she wanted to find out. After all he was closer to her goal than she was. So as he got fed up with the conversation and tried to march off she chased behind him, her massive fox in tow. She bumped the promoter as she ran by.

“And where are you going?” He yelled still frustrated.

“I’ll be back. Relax.”

“I’ve got Pirates and Windows! And some no name belly dancers telling me to relax?” He mumbled and grumbled as he turned around and headed back into the club.

“Oi,” Raspberry called out trying to get the attention of the gray haired man with the freaky snake tail. “Wait up, Snake Tail. Are you really worth 130,000,000?” It was a dumb question for sure but she expected the answer would be anything but.
Edited by Cottage, Mar 14 2018, 01:50 PM.
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Zen
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Cool waited without expression as Sami's response soon turned into a conversation with his tail. A very one-sided attempt at a conversation, at least. If it hadn't been for her holding Rascal, she probably would've lit a smoke. Something told her she'd be listening to this fellow ramble for a while if she wanted to hear the whole thing. The guy rattled from his tail being telepathic into a wild tangent that quickly spiraled out of control. He might've been the only interesting person Cool had met in her time on Cactus Island, but it was also obvious he had all the mental faculties of a lunch box.

Cool's expression changed very little as she watched the exchange between Sami and the bar's owner. The weird fellow clearly wasn't from Cactus Island, he was far too not-boring for that. For a complete idiot to make it to Cactus Island in the first place, they had to be at least decently strong. Stronger than Cool, that was for sure. The doctor considered herself smart, sure, but not particularly strong.

The only moment Cool took action was when she spotted the fox from the corner of her eye. It seemed to have its eyes set on Rascal. Refusing to comment on its presence, she instead lifted the raccoon up high and as far away from the fox as possible. Rascal himself didn't seem too perturbed by the fox. He was still scarfing down his last bit of walnut, and had never been a very easily frightened animal. If it hadn't been for the old man that had raised him, he probably wouldn't have made it in the wild.

The exchange between Sami and the bouncer went right about as Cool had predicted. A snake tail and transformation into smoke. Cool's gears went a-grinding. She knew the basics of Devil Fruit classifications, but had never seen any beyond her own Mammoth Zoan. A body modification plus a Logia, or some kind of Special Paramecia? Maybe a Mythical Zoan? Or perhaps the power was not Devil Fruit related at all. She'd heard the Grand Line was full of all kinds of insane powers not related to Devil Fruits. Sentient plants, weather wizards, that kind of stuff.

Cool nodded at Roy's gesture. Time to bounce. "People on this island sure are rude." Cool said to Sami as the bar's owner sent Sami on their way and then shouted at her and the other bystander too. She didn't bother to correct the bar owner. Who cared if he thought she was with Sami. He was just some random local who'd fade from their lives the moment they'd walk out of this street. "Someone should teach them a lesson. Liven up the place." she added after a moment of thinking.

"You seem to be building quite the following, by the way." Cool remarked when the pale woman called out to her new friend from behind. She decided not to butt into the conversation any further, giving Sami time to react to the new woman's question. Whatever expectations about Sami's intelligence she had, Cool figured she'd be thoroughly disappointed.

In the mean time, Rascal had spotted the approaching fox, and had decided he would be safest on top of Cool's head. The woman, still wrapped up in her winter coat, didn't react much as her raccoon companion skittered up her arm and onto her head, where he laid on top of her hair, keeping a close eye on the would-be predator. If all else failed, Cool could always turn into a mammoth and run away.
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Axel
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Too many conversations to keep up with at once. On a good day, the man with the mental ability of a small bird could maintain maybe half a conversation before getting distracted by whatever shiny object caught his eye. He would try his best to keep up, it wasn't often he had the opportunity to make new friends without the assistance of gallons of alcohol after all.

"Well like, don't get the wrong opinion because I'm not a pirate. I don't do any of those degenerate pirate things, most of the time it's just a harmless prank that has maybe ten or twenty fatalities. Not a biggie, but people always seem to overreact and then threaten lawsuits. Also please don't call me Snake-Tail, that is highly disrespectful to both me and Snakey. In fact, how do you know it isn't actually supposed to be Sami-Tail? Wait… Am I the tail?"

Sami had briefly caught himself in an existential crisis. This wasn't an uncommon occurrence for the idiot, in fact this wasn't even the first time he had though about the Sami-Tail Dilemma. Usually he just drank a lot and forgot about the whole thing the day after. However it was too early in the day to drink, it's not like he was Rodney.

"Whatever, thinking is for nerds anyway. Back to the bounty poster nonsense. I've seen that poster posted in a lot of places actually, whoever has it out to prank me must really have the dedication. The marines are in on it too, they always chase me with weapons when I get too close to them. It's a really well put together joke. Almost enough to make me think it's a real poster."

It was obviously a real poster. In reality, the Devil Fruit user was genuinely a dangerous menace to society. Obviously, in Sami's mind however he was just a harmless dude who occasionally was involved in the odd fight to the death and war crime. That being said, the recent increase in marines assaulting him out of nowhere were starting to grate at him. One moment it was just him enjoying his fifteenth bowl of soup for the day, the next it was a bunch of people trying to bludgeon him with batons. This was only funny the first six times it had happened.

"Uhh, why are you three following me anyway? Please don't mug me, I don't have money. I'm also not interested in joining another multilevel marketing scheme, seven is enough for one man."

Sami was now addressing blonde haired girl dressed in more clothes than he likely even owned. He scratched his head as he made his way down the street, trying to figure out where would be a good place to spend the rest of the day.

"I'm Sami by the way, Sami Mohr. Also I absolutely agree coat girl, we should have some fun with this island. Everyone is always so sad. Like, I went to the Cactithedral the other day and everyone was acting like someone had just died."

This goes without saying but the grey haired man definitely did not realise that the sacred building was specifically built to mourn those who had already departed from this life to the next. This had made for a very awkward encounter when he had rocked up partially drunk trying to start a Mexican wave with the groups of depressed individuals. Following this he had been asked to leave after throwing up all over the floor. All in all, it had been a good time for the magical monkey-tiger-snake boy.

"Hmm…. How do we inject a bit of fun into this little rock of sadness? I could always use the hallucination trick… No, they'll probably just be more sad if a bunch more people started screaming. I'm so considerate. Anyway, if you three are gonna follow me around then might as well see if you got any good ideas? I'm down for just about anything as long as it doesn't involve whips and chains. Not falling for that one again."
Sami Mohr

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There was a lot of shit happening at once, Roy could barely keep up. He was right behind Cool when they both ran up to Sami and the other woman, so he heard all of Sami's nonsense.

Talking to him, or simply hearing him talk, was definitely something unique. There was no one else you could talk to and hear so many things, like tail-snakes, marine pranks, and cathedral parties. At least, Roy hoped Sami was the only person like this. However, talking to Sami for more than a minute straight would probably cause severe brain damage.

Roy had a wonderful idea brewing in his head. His end goal was to meet up with his dad and beat his ass, so having a bounty of at least 1 would help.

"No worries, Sami. We're not gonna mug you, we just want to be friends,

Roy was normally an asshole to everyone, but that wouldn't help anyone in this situation. It didn't feel right not throwing in obscene language and insults into his sentences, but it had to be done.

"I have a great idea! So, the Marines are pranking you and we need to liven up this place, right," The 18 year old looked at Sami and Cool as they walked"How about we start a Prank War! We can prank them back by, I dunno, destroying some buildings and stuff! I'm Roy, by the way. Roy Shark."

Roy hoped that he'd accept. Judging by how he acts, Sami would believe Roy and actually think that it would just be some innocent practical jokes they'd be pulling. Makes sense, generally people with pebbles for brains believe whatever you tell them.
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Raspberry was right in believing the answer to her question would be anything but stupid. Only because the answer she received was clearly insane. Pranks didn’t end in fatalities, at least not where she grew up, and neither did people threaten lawsuits at the death of over a dozen people. You were more likely to be executed or imprisoned which seemed to be a common consequence throughout the world, especially if you had asked the Navy. This man however was by no means common, and at a loss for words all Raspberry could do was nod her head as the grey-haired man with the snake tail revealed himself to be named Sami, more or less.

And as she walked alongside him watching him go off on his mind-breaking tangent, she really didn’t know how to feel. The man seemed to question his own existence in the place of a tail. Usually Raspberry would be annoyed listening to someone ramble on but this time was different. There were too many questions and she had a feeling any answer she received wouldn’t be a coherent one.

As Sami crawled out of whatever rabbit hole his mind had led him down he explained how he believes the bounty was all an elaborate prank made up by an unknown entity and that despite, what Raspberry assumed were several marine run-ins , he still didn’t believe it was a real wanted poster. Raspberry was taken aback. She had no idea what to think. This man was a special kind of crazy. The kind of delusional, dismissive, and downright deranged mind that deserved to be studied. This was the kind of man who could make a real mess of civilized society and she loved it.

She turned to the young man who had addressed Sami’s mugging concerns with a raised eyebrow. To her it sounded like he was trying to reassure a scared child with the promise of friendship. Which in all honesty would probably work. You could never tell with the specials. Regardless of the young mans promise of friendship introductions began to be thrown around.

“Raspberry,” She held her hand over her chest as she announced. “And this guy, right here is Blueberry.” She gestured to her left, the foxes ears twitching upon hearing his name. “Blue, stop staring at the raccoon.” She pulled the scruff on the back of his neck so he’d stop. He smirked in the direction of the raccoon and then turned his attention to Raspberry, rubbing his body against her side and staring the other three people down as if to say ‘She’s mine.’

“Pranks are all well and good but I think I’d like to see this hallucination trick. If it ends in casualties, we could pay those freaky looking priests a visit. I hear they love death. We have that in common.” Being able to speak for herself and not listening to the weird speech and thoughts of Sami, put her at ease. It made her feel strong again, the exact opposite of how the confusion Sami caused her made her feel. “What do you think?” She turned to the woman with the raccoon on her head. She was substantially shorter than Raspberry and wore lots of layers, the exact opposite of tall, half-naked Raspberry, but she didn’t look a pushover.
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[ *  * ]
A prank, huh? Sure. It was all Cool could do not to correct him, or otherwise display her displeasure with his antics. While her patience for stupid people was limited, Cool could not deny that Sami might be a fitting person to help her on her way. One hundred and thirty million beli bounty. That was very impressive this early in the Grand Line. She wouldn't be the first pirate growing in fame for lifting along with another. Once she'd followed Sami around for a while, caused a ruckus, found some treasure, she'd strike out on her own and make a big name for herself. Yeah, that sounded like a plan.

It seemed like she wasn't the only one with a plan. The boy she'd almost bowled over had his own things to say to Sami. Cool's kneejerk reaction was to think there was no idea Sami would believe something like that considering how patronizing and dishonest the statement sounded, but considering the man's intelligence, he just might. And if he didn't, well, Cool had no intent to mug him, so there was no reason for her to try joining in Roy's little act.

As everyone introduced herself, Cool looked at each of the three people's faces in turn. Shrugging, she spoke. "Name's Daddy Cool. Just call me Cool." she said, completely straight-faced and without a hint of embarrassment at the strange name. It was an alias she'd taken months ago, and by now she'd gotten used to it. Her old name would be left behind for now, tucked away nicely in a corner of her mind. Her original identity, sacrificed for the sake of a journey into piracy.

"Rascal and me have been here on Cactus Island for a while." she continued, pointing up at the raccoon on her head. She had no idea what Sami's hallucination trick was, but he'd already displayed a number of supernatural facets. Hallucination did not seem like such a strange addition to the doctor, who was well-versed in the knowledge of hallucinogenic substances. "Hallucination trick sounds pretty interesting, but we'd have to gather a bunch of people together, first. Otherwise you'd just be picking people off one by one. At least, that's what I imagine." Cool said, admitting she didn't actually know the internal workings of Sami's ability.

After a moment of thought, Cool's eyes widened with the light of revelation. "The Cactithedral you mentioned. It's bound to be packed with people, right?" she asked Sami. "Let's bust down a wall or two, make our way in. Sami, you can then use your trick to cause some chaos. That's bound to attract the attention of those priests. After that..." Cool shrugged. "We steal a ship and leave this boring place behind?"

It was pretty bare bones, but Cool considered it a fairly decent idea. It'd cause a ruckus here in this glum, bothersome place, give her and her compatriots a nice bounty, and motivate this little slapdash crew to find a way off Cactus Island as soon as possible.
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Axel
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Aggressively Useless
[ *  *  *  * ]
"Righto. Roy Shark, Raspberry and Coat Girl also known as Cool. Got it. I can probably remember all that, just need to delete some of the useless stuff in my brain. Goodbye long division, I'll miss you."

It didn't take very long for Sami to decide that there was no way in hell he was going to call the blonde haired girl 'Daddy Cool'. In fact, he would probably refuse to call anyone Daddy at his age. Despite being an idiot, he still had a shred of dignity in him. Not that the other two names were much better. Raspberry was just a fruit and people couldn't be sharks, that was ridiculous. No wait, just maybe… Sami took a quick glance at Roy, trying to determine whether he was a Fishman or not. From general appearance the boy looked fairly normal, though the secret Fishman was truly the deadliest. As a second glance didn't illuminate any further on the situation. Whatever, worst case scenario he would have to drown Roy in some freshwater. It wouldn't be the first time and it definitely wouldn't be the last time.

The general consensus seemed to be go to the Cactithedral and dick around. It's not as though Sami was unopposed to this idea, dicking around was what he did best after all. Destruction of public property was one of his top ten favourite pranks, though number six might just surprise you! However, he wasn't sure about it being the best way to bring some joy into the world. Well not so much the world, just him. Public destruction of property was funny, but sometimes it just wasn't enough to get him hard going anymore. As the group made their way to the large cathedral that formed the emotional foundation of this town, Sami's brain was whirling around trying to think of the dumbest (and subsequently fun-est) thing he could pull off.

The four humans and two animals had just stopped outside the large building and Sami was already receiving suspicious looks from the priests who had witnessed his previous drunk escapades. They had been too polite to ban him for life, but it was blindingly obvious that he wasn't particularly welcome. Cool had mentioned the use of hallucinations. They would definitely inject a bit of life into this house of dourness, though it wouldn't be the fun kind. That being said, if people were interested who was Sami to not do his best to provide.

"I mean I can show you the hallucination trick… It won't particularly be fun for you guys but I mean, it'd probably be funny to me."

Sami weighed up the pros and cons of forcing these three new companions of him to experience his awful, mind-bending hallucinations. The pros were that it would be very, very amusing. The cons were obviously that- Oh, too late. The impulsive, part-Nue monster released his black clouds out in all directions, engulfing not only the people inside the Cactithedral but also his unsuspecting companions. Of course, this meant that his three new friends would have to experience the side effects as well. That being said, everyone should get to enjoy the mind-bending fear at least once. It built character, that or a lifetime of therapy.

"Hehehehe, this should get things started. Enjoy your trip, try not to freak out too much though. It'll all be over soon… probably. We can do the whole steal a boat thing after its all said and done. I'll even buy you lot a beer. Well, steal you a beer."

The hallucination-inducing clouds had begun their work as evidenced by the screams radiating out of the mouths of pretty much everyone in the area. The first ten seconds was definitely the most amusing part, you never knew what was going to happen.

"Ahhhhhhhhh! Not the bees!"

"Ahhhhhhhhh! Not the bee keepers!"

Pandemonium had erupted, not uncommon when Sami had the opportunity to release his emergency plot device machine. The pirate was genuinely quite curious what state that Roy, Raspberry and Cool would find themselves in. There was no better way of getting to know someone than by forcing them to inhale your essence and then go on a horror trip. Cackling like an idiot, Sami whistled a tune and kicked back as the society broke down before his very eyes.

Tech
Don't Smoke Kids (28)
Type: Offensive
Range: Medium AoE
Power: 8
Stats: N/A
Description: Sami releases a burst of black clouds into the area, causing crazy hallucinations designed to mimic their deepest fear. [16 Medium AoE]
Sami Mohr

James Bledsoe

The Edge

RIP 5ever

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Coolio0
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Lord of Nothing
[ * ]
Roy was ecstatic. He'd finally get some sort of bounty, and every Beli on his head counted towards his goal. The "delinquent" expected they'd walk into the Cathedral and just starting breaking shit. Maybe punch a nazi priest or two. He thought that maaaaaybe Sami would use his hallucination trick, but he didn't think he'd use it on his newfound friends! That's just what Roy got for thinking an idiot would be anything but.

The black smoke expelled from the monkey-man's body spread throughout the room and surrounded Roy. He could barely see anything, but if he could he'd sock the gray-haired idiot in the jaw.

"The hell's wrong with you? We're pranking them not us!"

Just as Roy finished screaming at Sami something strange happened. Oh boy, here comes the hallucination. What, was he gonna see the universe? Would all the pillars in the room turn into snakes? The 17 year old couldn't be more wrong.

The room was plunged into pitch black darkness. All sound, gone, all feeling, gone, all light, gone. Roy tried to breathe, but he couldn't. However, it wasn't as if he was suffocating. He was just... unable to breathe, but it was fine. The entire universe had ceased, and it was just Roy in an empty, dark void of nothing. The thuggish looking boy looked down to see his own body and he was covered in blood. Roy was fine until he saw the blood, but he immediately felt immeasurable pain. He screamed at the top of his lungs, crimson blood shot out of his mouth. When he looked up his father was there. Just standing. Roy's father, Eliwood, was much taller than his son. His long, black hair was fluttering in the wind, but... there was no wind. Suddenly Roy felt a pain in his gut. One moment Eliwood was standing there, looking down on his son, the next, he had his fist firmly planted in the black-haired individuals stomach. Tears streamed down Roy's face. First, a single tear fell. Not long after a steady stream of salty tears fell from the eyes of the poor boy.

"Dad..."

In reality, Roy simply stood there, crying. It would have been a sad sight if every other person weren't also hallucinating.
The Boys
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Cottage
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Dicke Nüsse
[ * ]
“What? Just wait a damn minute you…”

Before she could let out another word the black clouds choked her. Her eyes glazed over, and filled with the murky darkness of this hallucinogenic hell. She could hear men, women, and children screaming. Was it reality or was it all just in her imagination? She couldn’t remember where she was. She couldn’t remember who she was. She couldn’t remember what she was doing. So she walked forward.

She walked forward until she could not walk forward anymore. She stopped and looked down at her feet. They were rough, cracked, cut, and blistered, and then wet as the crimson puddle under them began to expand. She bent down to touch the liquid. From the tip of her finger she tasted. Like blood and copper on her tongue, and she knew it wasn’t copper. She could feel herself growing lighter as more blood drained from her.

In the darkness all there was to contradict the absence was the crimson. She could feel her body wither as she emptied. She knelt in the blood before she couldn’t stand. Her skin felt loose and dry and she was brought down to her belly. She crawled along the blood. Her hands in front of her weren’t hers. They belonged to old woman long past the precipice of death but she continued on, with fear and confusion in her heart.

She crawled and her nails fell off one by one as she clutched black underneath blood. Her fingertips bled too but only in single drops there wasn’t much blood left to give to the darkness. And as she thought that the smell of stale copper disappeared from the air. Her hands in front of her were rejuvenated and the black underneath turned several shades of blue.

She was saved, so she thought as she dove in headfirst. The water was cool on her skin and she felt normal again. Her fingernails were back, her skin was tight, and she felt the weight of her muscle and fat. She was happy to be alive. And as she surfaced she could see waiting for her on the black shore, against the black sky was her mother, her father, and her fox. She smiled and waved and they made their way over.

“Mom, I’m sorry I left. I know you just want the best for me, but our definitions of the best are drastically different. I hope you can understand that. And Dad, I’m so happy I finally found you. You are one of the reasons I went out to sea. I wanted to find you. I wanted to at least know that you were okay. And Blue. Come here, Blue. I’m so happy we took this journey together. Now come swim with momma.”

As she finished they didn’t answer back they just walked into the sea toward her. But the sea to them was like acid. It tore at their flesh, incinerated and disintegrated every cell. The bones began to show and Raspberry screamed.

“No. Don’t come here. It’s too dangerous.” They wouldn’t listen. “No. Stop. Stay there. Go back. No.”

She tried to swim to them but the current pulled her back. The sea devil grabbed her ankles but she continued to struggle. She wanted to look back but she couldn’t. She was too afraid. So all she could do was watch as the only people she’d ever cared about were reduced to nothing but bone.

She screamed and thrashed but the devil would not let go. And once her family was gone so was she, swallowed into the darkness. She floated and floated wanting to feel but feeling no want.

“Bastard.”

She whispered to herself.
My Babies <3

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