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| Anna Kranjcar (Revision Scoope); [Flagged] | ||||||||||||||||||||||
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| Tweet Topic Started: Jan 1 2017, 04:17 PM (948 Views) | ||||||||||||||||||||||
| Kaguya Light1 | Jan 1 2017, 04:17 PM Post #1 | |||||||||||||||||||||
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Royal
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Account Name: IcyDarkness Basic Character Information Name: Anna Kranjcar Nickname: Swordmen of the Sakura Peral. Princess Age: 17 Gender: Female Race: Human Affiliation: Marine (Apprentice +2 Commendations) Family: Half Sister - Cynthia Valentine Arranged Marriage: Sergei "Seriy" Volk Achievements: Home coming queen because everyone likes her. Stopping low rank pirates from attacking her school and beating them. Highest grade's in her school. Join the marine's as Apprentice while still being in school. Position : Chef / Swordsmen Profession: Primary- Weapon Specialist A much more general fighter-type profession, a Weapon Specialist is someone who has to a large or small degree devoted his/her life to the mastery of a single weapon or weapon type, such as Swords, Axes or Whips. This profession applies generally to melee weapons. Characters with this profession have access to certain additional traits and may create "Stance" techniques. Secondary- Chef A Chef, Cook, Bartender or any other distinct related profession gives kitchen skills and knowledge about food, flavoring, ingredients, drink, and nutrients. They are masters at making the most out of whatever ingredients are available, and know how to create a balanced diet for the crew that will keep everyone in fighting trim. Position: Master Chief Petty Officer Physical Appearance Height: 5’6 Weight: 100 lbs Hair: Pink Hair Eyes: Pink Clothing/Accessories: Clothes She Wears The Most - She wears this most of the time it's a short pink dress and over is a tight white jacket with gold buttons at the bottom and around her arms having a pink bow at the top it also has gold near the bow. Her jacket also acts like a skirt being under her pink dress. Cooking - When cooking she wears a pink Apron with a white blouse and a pink skirt. Battle Outfit - She only wears this for great battles that she needs to get ready for, it's a black and gold outfit having a red dress under it. Ship Clothes - The outfit Anna was wearing was a long sleeve, gold, white and red skirt kimono with golden clouds design and long ribbon falling down, the robes that wrapped around her waist had a flower design, around her neck, she is wearing a gold and red neck choker, around Anna's hands is two pairs of red gloves, to finish her outfit is two pairs of long white flat pumps that are tied all the way up her legs near her knees tied within a bow. Desert Clothes - She wears a short white dress, that has gold and purple flower belt having green gems going down. Around her high collar is a gold and green gems. Around her left leg is a gold Ankle Bracelet. Also, having green gems going down. Clothes She wears the most Cooking Battle Outfit Ship Clothes Sometimes Battle Clothes Desert Clothes General Appearance: Anna has a slender body having snow white skin, her hair is pink with her eyes matching her hair color. Which are also pink in color she has a beautiful and graceful Appearance her hair is in two tails that go all the way down it is close to hitting the floor. She wears most short skirt type dresses. Many sometimes think Anna is from a royal family or a princess, it was the reason people have given her the nickname princess, even if she herself didn't pick to have it. Anna has manners and trys to keep the proper manners and form. Even when eatting, she will keep this form up about herself, never allowing for it to drop. Anna when someone uses her weakness, her face will blush as she trys to step back, this is the time when Anna loses all her forms and manners, she can even drop her swords when acting like this. The Character Hometown:Ilusia, West Blue Personality: Even with all this Anna is known for one weakness that can stop her from knowing her job as a marine. She has one weakness she can never control. If someone falls on her or she is helpless with people looking at her, she will think they will do something perv which will change the swordsmen Anna into a shy school-girl. Unable to fight or use her swords forgeting all forms on controling her Techniques. Anna is also known to be kind to children. This doesn't just work for people looking, even words, can cause her to lose some of her strength. Anna is a known as one of the top swordsmen on her island, she use to have the top grades in school before she passed and move onto becoming a full time marine. Anna is known to be kind, and also really popular in the marines and when she use to be in school, having a kind heart, many who see Anna get the feelings she is a royal or a princess, from her personality and style. Anna can fight back at times, if she sees someone bully other people for no reason, or try something, she doesn't agree with, Anna will step up, and stop it. As she doesn't like when someone who has a little more power and someone else to miss use it. Character One History: Anna was born into a happy family where both her mother and father were lawyers, but her father did have a past he never told anyone about, but it was something Anna didn't know about her family, Anna's real mother was not the person she was living with but someone else who her father seen years ago. Anna was young living on an island called Ilusia, in the vast blue, the island was known to the laws doing anything wrong on this island could put you behind bars for the smallest of things. As Anna was growing up, she learns the way of a sword becoming a graceful swordsmen right away, but Anna didn't know that this ran within her family, even her father was shocked to see Anna becoming a swordsman like she was even at a young age, Anna, when to school even till this day but as time was passing she began to think if you wish to become strong does the person need to be cold and heartless. Anna was not someone who was dark and evil cutting down someone in cold blood was not something she could do easily. One week later with her thinking in this way, she seen a woman having no idea who it was, as Anna was walking home the woman would stand in front of Anna grabbing her hand from her doing this she could tell that Anna was a swordsmen which made her happy to see it ran in the family, but she knew that now Anna could be put in danger knowing she would wish to grow stronger, but it was more she could see by looking at Anna and that was the debts she had about how to become stronger. As she was done, she would free Anna's hand, letting go, Anna still had no idea who this girl was as she would look at her with the strange woman starting to speak. "Your a swordsman am I correct I wish to teach you how to use a sword." Anna didn't know what to say as she could feel how strong this person was when her hand was grabbed, she would look up thinking who this person was. "Miss, why would you wish to teach me?" Anna would ask within a graceful tone not knowing this girl was her mother. As Anna spoke the woman would look at Anna telling her with care in her eye's placing her hand on her shoulder. "Because I wish to see you grow as a swordsman and not get hurt in the future." Anna could see this person cared a lot, but why, it was a part missing and she wouldn't tell Anna that she was her mother and that she had a half-sister, as she was done the woman would walk away, telling Anna to get her sword with them both heading to the open field the moment they reached the field Anna would point her blade at her, but Anna's mind was somewhere else and her mother could see telling Anna to make the first move with her getting ready. With Anna is running at her opponent, she would slash her sword one after the other, but her mother was strong blocking them without trying to have her eye's closed as she would start to speak. "You're a graceful swordsman, but you still have a long way to go Anna." As she was finished speaking, the strange woman would give one slash of her sword, knocking Anna's away onto the ground pointing her sword at Anna as she fell onto the grass. "You have skills, but you have debts in your mind, your sword is who you are don't change that." Anna's eye's would open in shock as the woman would point her sword away from Anna. Before Anna could say a word the woman would offer her a hand to get up, Anna would bring her hand up taking her mother's hand starting to get up. "Anna, just be who you are, and your swordsmanship will improve." With them words Anna would start to look happy having a graceful smile on her face. "Thank you, miss, but can I ask you a question." Anna had one question to ask this girl with her saying to Anna. "What is it?" Anna would reply. "How did you know my name?" Anna never once said what her name was but this woman has said it many times already without Anna telling her. Anna's mother would need to think after all she did say her name and it was no way that she could of heard it unless she knew Anna she could of said she heard it somewhere before, but that would mean she has been following Anna so it was the only way she could think of. "Oh, I didn't tell you I'm part of the marines, your father told me all about you and I thought it might be good to meet you and teach you." It was a simple lie but Anna would give a graceful smile saying to her. "Oh, okay." It didn't sound that odd, so Anna had no reason to think it wasn't true as her father was an ex-marine, as this happen her father would see them both talking hiding, each day Anna would train each day improving in till she was thirteen, telling her teacher/mother she wished to become a marine as she would say. "Okay Anna if you wish to become a marine you can but you have to stay in school well being a marine okay." She wished for Anna to be ready by living her normal life before seeing the world. "Okay." Anna would stay still being graceful in everything she did, Anna was able to carry her sword with her from now on after becoming a marine even in school. This was around the time her father would speak with her mother talking in private. "I didn't think you would come back to see Anna like this, well, I really didn't think you would come back hiding as a marine." Anna's mother would smile at him. "Oh is it, I came back to see my daughter and to make sure she could protect herself, but she had skill before I came, not only does she have my skills with her sword, but also has your skills with your graceful way of fighting with your pop greens, she is like a sharp rose ready to cut." Anna's father would look at her smiling. "You might be right, even if she knows nothing about pop greens she still has the sharp graceful fighting style of a rose. Well, when will you be leaving." Anna's mother looked at him saying. "Tomorrow, Anna has grown strong enough to keep her safe for now inside the blues I have told you before about my other daughter didn't I Cynthia, who has had a hard life and Anna will meet her one day I don't what you telling Anna about her, I would like them too to meet each other first." She didn't wish for the same thing to happen to Anna that happen to Cynthia, her father would look at Anna's mother speaking once more. "Anna would understand why you left, you couldn't stay because you were looking for Cynthia, you don't need to keep blaming yourself I'm sure Cynthia will also understand you having Anna, we didn't plan to fall for each other like we did." Anna's and Cynthia's mother would start to walk away saying. "I know, you can tell Anna about me, when she turns sixteen she should be strong enough to look for me if that is what she picks, she will be a strong marine, give her this when you tell her." Throwing a neckless to him, it had her picture inside it could save Anna one day if she meets her sister. She would say with a smile walking away, the next day she would say goodbye to Anna giving her a hug and with that she was gone. As she grown stronger learning more going on many missions her father would tell her giving her the neckless Anna was shocked by this thinking that the person she was with now was not her real mother but she did care for Anna but she didn't think less of her. "Thank you for telling me, I know I will see her again." Anna did wish to see her real mother her father didn't tell her much as she thought it better for Anna's real mother to tell her the rest Anna was not told about her sister but she did put the neckless on around her neck, never once removing it Character Two Abilities and Possessions Combat: She is a graceful swordsmen fast and strong who goes for any opening she see's she likes to wait her time before going on the attack by holding the person back by dodging them intill she can get the right moment to end it with using her crimson sword style Weaponry: Long Rapier Shackle Chain Collars Jiyū ![]() Character: Anna Kranjcar Desired Item: Blade – Steel One Handed Long Sword Size of the blade - 111.92 Jiyū in detail - Jiyu is a long sword with a silver outline and the blade is cover by a red finish for the center of the blade near the center of the handle, it has a silver wolf type hair around it and a pink gem in the middle, with a ribbon with a gold outline. The handle is pink with white symbols going around the blade and having a silver tip. Lore - Suskai V Valentine, the founder, father of the Valentine family, it was said he forged this sword to symbolize protection of the family, and so it did, as he used it in the battle against the rival family to protect his loved once, alongside his daughters, the snow blossom twins, he aided in the battle against the rival family and managed to gain victory, for many years he was unable to name the blade, but once the battle was won, he decided to name it Jiyū, meaning Freedom. Once he passed away from old age, the sword was passed down, for who ever wielded fought for the ideals of freedom with-in the Valentine name. Rōzu megami no ken ![]() Character: Anna Kranjcar Desired Item: Blade - Diamond One Handed Long Sword Size of the blade - 111.92 Lore - It was said many years ago a beautiful princess in a time where it was rare for a woman to fight, as a princess she wasn't able to do anything without her family telling her she was just an image for the people unlike her many brothers who were allow to fight and prove they were more and just born into a royal family, it was only one that wish to see her grow to become stronger and that was her brother Zeke who formed a plan to show that the princess was more. He knew a woman with great skill and sent her to his sister to have her learn the way of the sword. It was many things she did that her family didn't approve of and that learned the way of the sword she learned many arts and great form from her teacher but it was never told why she was teaching the princess only her brother Zeke knew and her teacher, but the princess didn't know herself, she was not around as she had her own travels and the princess didn't wish for her family to find out, in till the day of the great war. A rival Kingdom was attacking the land and all the warriors did well to stop them, but slip by into their land and wished to attack the civilians who were living inside, the princess wished to stop them, but couldn't as she didn't wish to not listen to her father, but then her brother shown up knowing he would need help as he burst into the room telling the princess to help to tell her about how he knew about the training she gained but still it was worry her eye's in till the brother said to her. "I know you don't wish to disobey our father, but you need to show him, you can be a great warrior." With that, he has given her a smile and handed her a sword that was left by the teacher for when something like this would happen. "This sword was made for you it is a rose sword sharp and beautiful like you, try your best and make her proud of you." With that the princess took the sword and help the warriors keep the town safe from all who came after it was all over her other brothers were shocked and her father was the same, with that her brother would speak up. "Father, you can't say what you have seen today is nothing short of power, she keeps the land safe with her own power, not power that you used, I wish to see my own sister keeping our land safe by our side." All the brothers would walk over to Zeke and the princess with the brothers agreeing with Zeke and so did the father hugging the princess she was finally seen as a warrior and with this sword would be passed onto Anna when the time comes, this was one of the first times when a woman would stand up to fight for the land as a princess. Rōzu megami no ken in detail - Rōzu megami no ken is a rose sword known to be one of the most beautiful swords to ever be made with it having a red crimson rose in the center of the handle and two smaller ones next to it, you can see Thorns that make the handle and keep wrapping around the blade but doesn't go up the whole blade and has a silver tip with lefts and thorns as the handle. The blade is crimson red in color and has a silver outline on the blade one with just a straight line, and as you go up the blade has risen type symbols. ![]() A small dager of the blue rose sword something that doesn't belong to Anna but it was given to her so she knows what the sword will look like once she meets the other person that uses the blue rose sword. The dager is made from Steel and is the small size as Dracule Mihawk knife. And this also has a rose design. Items: Beli: 1,800,000 SD Earned: 117 Stat Points: 149 Advancement Points: 0 SD Remaining: 0 Stats: 0
Edited by Kaguya Light1, Jul 4 2017, 04:13 PM.
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Alexis Crimson Anna Kranjcar Sylvia Vermillion Liliana Araya
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| ♥ Tengu | Jan 29 2017, 03:35 PM Post #2 | |||||||||||||||||||||
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First of all, more is needed on general appearance, even if you have pictures. All you have is about her hair, eyes, and clothes, all of which are already mentioned in other sections. Also, her eye color is noted as pink in one section and hazel in another. Personality is a bit scarce too, it would be nice to see a bit more. Your sword techs don't seem to have mastery applied to them. At r10, a stance buffs/debuffs 6 points, not 4. If you could take the individual spoilers for each SL/purchase from your gains and losses, it would be appreciated, at the moment it's very hard to read. |
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![]() ᕙ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ᕗ #AtLeastItAin'tAids ᕙ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ᕗ My Crowning Achievement as G-Mod Blugu of Good Vibes Characters
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| Kaguya Light1 | Jan 31 2017, 09:42 AM Post #3 | |||||||||||||||||||||
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Sorry but the way my sls are put shouldn't matter. I find it easy to follow this way, and everything else was already approved, which I am little confused about, on why your asking me to fix it. | |||||||||||||||||||||
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| ♥ Bright | Jan 31 2017, 04:26 PM Post #4 | |||||||||||||||||||||
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Wannabe Writer
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Its mostly just to help us count and make sure the SD adds up, and that you're not trying to sneak some extra in. The way its currently listed is kind of difficult to read, which makes our jobs harder. Even if stuff was approved previously, that doesn't necessarily mean it should have been approved. Mods are only human. Stuff gets overlooked, and we require a decent amount for general appearance and the like. Also still need to apply mastery to some of your sword techs. |
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Characters! | ||||||||||||||||||||||
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| Kaguya Light1 | Feb 2 2017, 09:15 AM Post #5 | |||||||||||||||||||||
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Okay. I made all the chances. | |||||||||||||||||||||
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| ♦ Gigasheep | Feb 2 2017, 10:57 AM Post #6 | |||||||||||||||||||||
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Sheepsu
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Another professional trait to spend. Bleeding thorns has 8 power unless you are adding an effect. The sakura petals in your techs feel borderline illusions but its nothing major and mostly flavor so it can slip. Fortune is 33 Id say. |
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| Kaguya Light1 | Feb 2 2017, 11:12 AM Post #7 | |||||||||||||||||||||
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Fixed, and I am keeping that trait open for now. Not sure what I wish to have. | |||||||||||||||||||||
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| ♦ Gigasheep | Feb 2 2017, 12:49 PM Post #8 | |||||||||||||||||||||
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Sheepsu
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Topic is flagged for approval. | |||||||||||||||||||||
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| ♥ Bright | Feb 3 2017, 10:59 AM Post #9 | |||||||||||||||||||||
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Wannabe Writer
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Still need to add a bit to that general description. Should be fine otherwise. | |||||||||||||||||||||
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| Kaguya Light1 | Feb 3 2017, 11:04 AM Post #10 | |||||||||||||||||||||
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I added a little more. | |||||||||||||||||||||
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| ♥ Tengu | Feb 5 2017, 05:48 PM Post #11 | |||||||||||||||||||||
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80% Smut
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Secret Blossom Style: Sakura's Path should have 4 more power if it's a rank 14 with mastery applied. While you're at it, make the type for your stance supportive instead of defensive. |
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![]() ᕙ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ᕗ #AtLeastItAin'tAids ᕙ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ᕗ My Crowning Achievement as G-Mod Blugu of Good Vibes Characters
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| Kaguya Light1 | Feb 5 2017, 05:56 PM Post #12 | |||||||||||||||||||||
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Fixed. | |||||||||||||||||||||
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| ♣ Red | Feb 6 2017, 06:13 PM Post #13 | |||||||||||||||||||||
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The Pokemon Trainer
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Going over your techniques; 'Heavenly Rose Style: Unraveling Rose' Should have 12 power. I also dislike the 'Confusing the enemy' bit, it almost sounds like disorient which you don't have listed. 'Curse Thorn Style: Bleeding Throns' Should also have 12 power. 'Secret Blossom Style: Sakura's path' Will need a displacement tag added to the effects, and because of that You unfortunately can't have the tech at the moment unless you remove one of the effects. Effect cost must be lower or equal than the technique rank. Technique rank is 14 (+4 artificial for mastery) and your current effects are (Shockwave - 10, Short - 4, Displacement - 8) which would need a rank 22 technique. Fix that, and everything else looks good. |
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| Kaguya Light1 | Feb 6 2017, 06:49 PM Post #14 | |||||||||||||||||||||
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Fixed.
Edited by Kaguya Light1, Feb 6 2017, 07:25 PM.
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| ♣ Red | Feb 6 2017, 07:46 PM Post #15 | |||||||||||||||||||||
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The Pokemon Trainer
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Weird, It's not letting me flag.... Welp, I flag it, since the tool won't do it for me. Edited by Red, Feb 6 2017, 07:47 PM.
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