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Serana Valdís; Knight of Rage [Flagged]
Topic Started: Mar 28 2016, 04:43 PM (460 Views)
RainingBlades
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Serana Valdís

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Account Name: RainingBlades

Basic Character Information
Name: Serana Valdís
Nickname:
Age: 18
Gender: Female
Race: Human
Affiliation: Marine
Rank (Commendations): Lieutenant Commander (33)
Achievements:
  • Graduate of the Marine's W.M.D. Program

Profession:
Martial Artist

A Martial Artist is someone who specializes in hand-to-hand combat, completely or very close to unarmed. They usually have good insight in the aspects of weight, balance and movement of the body. Characters with this profession have access to certain additional traits and may create "Stance" techniques.

Carpenter

A Carpenter is someone who makes a living crafting things such as ships, submarines, buildings and other physical structures with expertise and materials not privy to non-carpenters. Carpenters are the only ones capable of creating ships with techniques.

Position: Knight of Rage

Physical Appearance
Height: 6' 1" (1.86 m)
Weight: 168 lbs. (76.2 kg)

Hair: Spiky, snow white hair that extends just above the shoulder level; usually pushed behind the ears and left unkempt.

Eyes: Unsettling bright green eyes that seem to glow brighter when she gets fired up; slightly narrow with average size pupils.

Clothing/Accessories: Serana isn't one for fancy clothing or jewelry, feeling it's ridiculous to pay a lot of money simply to "look good." She does, however, have many different outfits, switching different clothes up depending on the situation. For the most part, she pretty much refuses to wear dresses, skirts, or other "girly" attire, sticking to shorts and jeans paired with t-shirts and tanks. She also has a distaste for bright colors (except for white); she prefers neutral or dark colors such as brown, tan, black, dark green, etc. Her shoes switch between sandals (the type with straps over the top) or boots (both combat and cowboy). As for her hands, she has a variety of different gloves she wears and also occasionally bandages them up. She doesn't wear any accessories except, occasionally, a small chain necklace with an anchor charm at the end, though she usually just keeps it tucked away in a pocked.

Serana does have one main outfit that stays pretty much the same: her work attire. For her top, she has a tight, tan, strapless cotton top that fits snugly around her torso and stops just above the midpoint of her chest, hiding her bra and revealing the rest of her cleavage. On top of that, she wears her white Seaking leather Marine Jacket, which is cut to stop at the middle of her back with sleeves that reach to about the wrist. The jacket also bears the Kanji for "Justice" on both the front left pocket and the back in Marrine blue. For her lower body, she has light brown khaki shorts that reach to her mid thighs and brown Seaking leather combat boots that fight snuggly around her her feet and legs up to her shins. She typically doesn't wear gloves with this outfit, but she might bandage up her hand and fingers in such a way that she can minimize direct contact to them in order to protect the skin yet not lose any mobility in her fingers.

General Appearance: Serana is packed and she's stacked, especially in the back (brother, you wanna thank her mother for a butt like that). She has well defined muscles (though not bulging) across the board, and she lacks any excessive fat across her body. Her cup size is a solid D, though she wears a special bra that pulls them in tightly to keep them from bouncing around too much, so they look a bit smaller from the outside. Her hips are somewhat large, though her medium build is far from an hour glass or plastic doll figure. As mentioned, her best feature is her arguably her butt, which is often the the object of admiration for fellow Marines that are meeting her for the first time. Having a nice body doesn't mean she flaunts it, however, unless it's specifically to take advantage of a situation she'd otherwise have no leverage in.

Her skin is smooth and a light chocolate milk color. It lacks any tattoos or birthmarks, but is riddled with small scars, cuts, and scrapes throughout her body. None of the marks are particularly notable, however, and therefore looks almost flawless from an outsider's perspective. She doesn't wear any makeup, feeling that it's completely unnecessary and silly to try and "fake attractiveness." Her nails are neatly trimmed and cleaned, though the same could not be said for her hair outside of showers. Speaking of which, she bathes herself daily if she can but does not mind getting covered in mud and fifth, feeling that cleanliness is only a luxury, not a necessity.


The Character
Personality: While genetics almost certainly played a part in it, the fact that Serana was brainwashed raised by a World Government program has played a huge part in shaping her personality. First of all, Serana is a die hard follower of the "Absolute Justice" mantra. While she understands that not all Pirates are necessarily evil by nature, they are criminals because they perform illegal acts and therefore need to face consequences for their actions. Even small time pirates might one day become evil and powerful forces to reckon with, so Serana makes no exceptions when it comes to apprehending criminals, even if it means (preferably avoidable) civilian casualties.

Likewise, Serana also understands that not all Marines are inherently good, but it is necessary to work with them for the greater good. She has faith that those who cause more harm than good will be taken care of by the higher brass, whom she really does believe are free from any corruption or self driven greed. Not only that, but Serana has a dream that the world will eventually be safe enough that the Marines only need those truly committed to justice and world order, and that the corrupt Marines and government officials will be judged no differently from pirates. It's an unrealistic dream, but Serana believes it's a dream worth working towards regardless.

Speaking of unrealistic dreams, Serana is a rather optimistic individual, tending to look at the glass half full more of than not. She can be rather skeptical of people at first, unsure whether she can trust them or not or if they're truly a good person or not, but she is quick to warm up to those of s similar mindset and moral compass. She's not the type to put her life on the line for her friends, however, being rather fond of said life and not prepared to throw it away so easily. Plus, the Marines would suffer a huge set back in their quest for justice without her, which leads me into her next personality trait: Serana is extremely cocky. Maybe it's because of how she was raised, but Serana is extremely overconfident in her own abilities, even if she is smart and strong enough to back up most of her claims. This arrogance gets her into trouble more often than not, whether it's getting in water over her head or frequent fights with others "to see who's stronger."

Finally, while Serana is a fairly light hearted person and enjoys joke as much as everyone else, she does not like to be made fun of. To tell you the truth, she is somewhat of a hot head and loses her temper easily, and the more angry she is, the more destruction she ends up causing. Therefore it isn't wise to poke fun of her, even if it's in good spirit; her strongest trigger is the fact that she was an orphan and essentially adopted by the Marines. Similarly, jokes about her parents do not bode well, even is she never knew them. Of course there are other ways to make her blow her top off bedsides jokes about her, but those are more situational occurrences. When I doubt, just act exactly like Serana would and you'll be fine.

Hometown: Isolation Island, Grand Line
History:

Act I Scene I
Though Serana never knew her own parents, she has a strong internal belief in what they were like. In her mind, they were both enlisted in the Marine corp, and that the small chain necklace with an anchor charm she has with her was a charm they bought to represent their commitment to the Marines. Her father was a strong, kind man who put others before him, working tirelessly for selfless purposes as he dedicated himself to protecting the people. Her mother was also strong, but also beautiful and very nurturing, tending to the sick and injured and doing her best to help them recover. In fact, her name, Serana, was most likely that of a patient who her mother couldn't save yet had died a brave, hero's death. She inherited her mother's looks and charm along with her father's combat prowess, and they both bestowed onto her their care for others.

They must have died in battle not long after she had been born; it was most likely their last mission until one of them, most likely her mother, would have committed themselves to a life of being a stay at home parent, a dream that would be left unfulfilled. They were on Jaya at the time, and a fellow Marine was forced to leave their only daughter on the footstep of an orphanage, leaving nothing with her but the anchor necklace and a piece of paper with her name, Serana, on it. They must have been close to her parents and knew they wouldn't want their daughter to find out exactly who they were and how they died, leading to her possibly trying to extract vengeance on them or even the Marines themselves, and thus did not write down her last name as well.

This story that Serana has come up with, however, could not be any further from the truth. Her father was a gambling drunk who spent his nights wasting his coin and getting into bar fights. His mother was a bar maiden at one said bars, and one night they decided to fancy a shag. Her father later died in one of his fights, leaving her mother to give birth to and raise Serana by herself. After several months in, she realized how difficult it was due to the expenses and so left her on the doorstep of the orphanage; karma for abandoning her baby later caught up to her when she died from a disease she picked up from yet another late night rendezvous. An old woman who worked for the orphanage who discovered Serana added the piece of paper herself, naming Serana after her granddaughter. Said granddaughter had actually just sent a package to the woman earlier that day containing the anchor necklace as a present, and the old woman accidentally dropped it in Serana's crib. Due to going senile, she soon forgot that she ever got the necklace to begin with (as well as the fact that she even had a granddaughter) and died almost a year later, forever sealing the truth about Serana's name and the necklace.

What? I never said her backstory was a happy one.

Act I Scene II

Serana's life in the orphanage was a tad awful, to say the least. While she simply adored the volunteers who took care of her and taught her how to do things such as read, write, and not crave the death and destruction of all that is good in the world, life was still rough for the young girl. She didn't have any friends outside of the orphanage, as they all made fun of her for being an orphan and forbid her from joining their reindeer games. And while she originally had some other orphan friends, they all but disappeared once a certain girl arrived. She was orphaned because she decided to fire her parents, and because she was now distraught from having no money, and therefore unable to screw the rules, she took it out by tormenting poor Serana. Not wishing to undergo the same bullying, her only friends turned their backs on her, and some even joined the girl and bullied her as well.

Instead of letting herself get walked all over, Serana often fought back, even when the odds were against her. And due to the bad temper she had inherited from her (real) father, she was even the one to start the fights sometimes. But instead of viewing herself as the unlucky girl getting picked on, she imagined that she was standing up for everyone else; after all, if she didn't fight back and soon became "boring" to pick on, they might start tormenting some of the other orphans. She gained this sense of protection from the story she gradually thought up about who her parents really were, and in such began to dream that one day, she'd be able to protect all people, not just those in the orphanage. And not as some normal girl, but as a Marine officer, one that would make her parents proud.

Act I Scene III
When Serana was approximately 8 years old, it seemed like that dream could finally come into fruition. A strange man by the name of Dr. Heizer visited the orphanage on behalf of the World Government. He was visiting orphanages across the globe in order to find and children to enlist in a top secret Marine project, though of course he did not outright state this; instead, he simply said he was here to do some government approved research and wished to evaluate the kids in the orphanage. The owner accepted, and thus Dr. Heizer's began to sit down with each of the orphans in a room one by one. Most of them were simply excused in a matter of minutes, but two specific orphans lasted much longer: Serana and the douchey bully, Sasha.

Serana doesn't remember much of the evaluation, only that it involved several different logical puzzles and tests. But the strangest part was that throughout the evaluation, Dr. Heizer kept on placing his palm on her forehead, and though it wasn't much, Serana could feel a slight tingling when he did so. At the end, the doctor asked her what her opinions were concerning the Marines and piracy at large; as she went on and on about her parents and how she wanted to be just like them one day, Serana could see a faint smile grow on the man's face. When she was done, Dr. Heizer asked if she would come with him in order to undergo further evaluation at a secluded facility.

Thinking this was her ticket into the Marine's, Serana accepted without a moment's hesitation, though she was suddenly questioning her decision when she found out Sasha had been given the same offer and had accepted as well. Dr. Heizer gave the owner of the orphanage a good chunk of cash as a sort of "payment" for borrowing the two children, promising to bring them back in a week's time. The payment was hastily accepted and Serana soon found herself on a ship with Sasha headed off to sea. Dr. Heizer asked the two orphans for their last names for documentation purposes, and once they revealed that neither of them knew (you didn't really think Sasha "fired" her parents, did you?), he decided he would simply put down the name of the orphanage they came from: Valdís.

It's strange, though; current records show that such an orphanage does not and never did exist.

Act II Scene I


Upon arriving on a discreet military location, Isolation Island, in the Grand Line, the two orphan girls were informed of their true purpose for being brought here: they were being enlisted in a top secret Marine program to create subjects that they called W.M.D.'s, or Weapons of Mass Destruction. They were to undergo intense physical and intellectual training until they were 18 years old (8 years for Sasha, 10 for Serana), upon which they would enter the Marines as a officers. This was a program that was unknown to all but the highest ranking Marine officers, with it's expressed purpose being to raise super soldiers for the Marines and the World Government as a whole. It was clear that refusal meant death, and so to Serana's delight and Sasha's disdain, the two began their training.

There were several others in the program from all over the world, all visited by Dr. Heizer, the head of the W.M.D. program, as well. As she later found out, Dr. Heizer had determined a strange method that would be able to calculate the potential power of people when they're but mere children. By finding orphans with such a high ceiling, they program could take these society outcasts and help them reach their full potential in order to improve the strength of the Marines. The question at the end of the evaluation concerning the subject's opinions on the Marines didn't affect their enlisting; it simply dictated how they would be indoctrinate them into the Marines. Serana didn't really undergo any "brainwashing" herself due to already heavily admiring the Marines; instead they simply used the admiration as fuel to pump propaganda into her brain and strengthen that belief in the system. Those less convinced about the good of the Marines underwent slightly stronger methods of "convincing;" Sasha (who simply didn't believe in those more rich or powerful than she) took the longest out of anyone they ever encountered, but she too eventually cracked (as far as they know, that is).

Act II Scene II
As the years passed by, Serana remained on pace with what was expected of her in the program in terms of her growth in power. While it was impossible for one to unlock their full potential while still a youth, evaluations by Dr. Heizer could determine if a subject's training was working and that they'd still be able to reach (near) said potential in adulthood or if their ceiling was slowly lowering. Those who seemed like a lost cause were disposed of at one some point or another, cited as a "waste of resources," while the rest had their training modified depending on how well they were progressing. Those who were slacking had things mixed up, those like Serana who were right on pace had nothing change outside of an increase in difficulty, and the few such as Sasha who were exceeding expectations had nothing changed in fear of disrupting the unexpected growth. Though it ticked her off that her old bully was excelling much more so than herself, Serana felt there was no reason to get distracted by someone else's success and instead remained focused on her own work.

When she was approximately 16, all of that hard work paid off: when a W.M.D. reached around this point, it meant they were already strong enough to be worth the final two year's of investment regardless of the outcome. All the preliminary training and education was done: now it was time to focus on what truly made them superhuman. Some were given cybernetic enhancements, others trained in secret techniques passed down by generations. And then there were those who were given a Devil Fruit, like Serana. Now able to turn into an Ankylosaurus, an ancient dinosaur that had been killed off eons ago, Serana underwent extensive training on how to best utilize her newly acquired gift. These last two years in training were always carried out in isolation from the rest of the program, so no W.M.D. knew what another had gained the power to do. This meant Serana could only imagine what sort of power Sasha, who was now a graduate of the program, had obtained two years prior, and so she resolved to work even harder to make up for the probably gap between their given powers. She was determined to be as strong as possible not only for her personal rivalry, but also so she could serve the Marines as strongly as possible.

Act II Scene III
Finally, the time came when Serana turned 18 and was to become a graduate of the W.M.D. program. Facing one final evaluation by Dr. Heizer, she was determined to have done better than expected in the final two years and her ceiling was now even higher than he had initially thought when they first met. The two of them then talked about the backstory that was invented for her that she would use in conversing with Marines and other officers not "in the know." She was the daughter of a carpenter who raised her to take over the family business, a "fact" that was decided upon due to her excellence in the architectural design and building exercises that she underwent during training (and the fact that she moderately enjoyed it and proceeded to work on various projects in her "spare time"). However, his life was taken by a band of pirates along with the rest of her family, and so she swore to dedicate her life to the Marines in his memory. She then undertook a variety of missions under Marines affiliated with the program or who do not exist, and was recently promoted to Lieutenant Commander (the program usually inserted graduates into the Marines at a relatively low rank in order to not increase suspicion).

And so now the time has come for Serana to truly enter the Marines and achieve that goal she dreamed of long ago. Whether she would be contacted by the W.M.D. program in the future was out of her hands, but it didn't really matter to her; she had no personal attachment to the strict and extraneous program. All she is concerned about is one thing: protecting the general population while bringing criminal's to justice. That's the Marine's stand: are you in good hands?

Abilities and Possessions
Combat: Serana likes to play with her food, in a way; instead of going all out at first, she goes a bit easy on her opponent and tries to gauge their strength while simultaneously trying to get under their skin. She doesn't really keep to any specific form of martial arts, instead option for whatever punches, kicks, and etc. work for a given situation. When she gets really serious, she'll start to play with her devil fruit transformations; suffice to say if you lose to her before she goes all dino-demolition on you, then you're pretty pathetic.

Weaponry: None
Items:

  • Attack on Jacket - Seid ihr das Essen? Nein, wir sind der Jäger! This is a custom made white Seaking leather jacket that Serana wears instead of the more traditional Markne coat. Cut shorter than most jackets, it only reaches down to about the midpoint of her back, though the sleeves reach to about the wrists like normal. The kanji for justice is written in Marine blue on the back and on the front pocket, though the Marine insignia itself does not appear. Talk about swag. (Based on this style)

  • Combat Boots - Made out of brown Seaking leather, these snug fitting combat boots are easy to slip on and reach to just above the shin. Usually worn with socks of about equal hight to minimize itchiness.

  • Anchor Necklace - A small silver chain necklace with an anchor charm at the end. This is Serana's prized possession as she believes it was the only thing left to her by her parents and is the reason she believes that they were members of the Marines. She tends not to wear it on her neck due to her personal distaste in jewelry but always keeps it close on hand.

  • Shitty Jacket - My God, this is a shitty suit jacket. No words can describe how shitty this thing is, it looks like it's from some other dimension where this shit looks good. It looks like someone paid Serana to take it away from them because it was so utterly shitty. Classic black but truly, truly shitty it somehow goes into negatives on Serana's expenses. Double negative makes a positive, Serana will earn a stackable 5% extra beli each sl that she wears this shitty jacket.

  • The Jols Gift - A wicked cool pair of aviator style, thin-frame sunglasses. They look badass, and you can throw them on the ground! and they won't shatter.

  • Fight Month Anniversary T-shirt - A very high quality cotton t-shirt with a flashy Fist graphic in front of it. It is dark red in color and feels nice to wear, more so than regular clothing. A symbol of survival, wearers of this t-shirt can feel a certain pride for their commitment to violence.

  • Disturbing Picture - A picture of some hot guy being killed hugged by an octopus lady, the sheer terror invoked by this image gives Serana +5 speed for three posts. However, she is so terrified by it that she abandons the photo for it never to be seen again. It should also be noted that she has no idea why this image terrifies her so much; must be anxiety or something.


Special 8th Anniversary Swag Bag

Beli: 92,200,000
SD Earned: 229
Stat Points: 234 (32 + 150 + 52)
SD Remaining: 1
Stats:
  • Used for Stats: 234
  • Used for Fortune: 0

    • Strength: 104 (65 * 1.6)
    • Speed: 50
    • Stamina: 69
    • Accuracy: 50
    • Fortune: 58

Traits:

Specific Devil Fruit (4 Traits - General)

The player may choose a specific Devil Fruit, either canon or custom, for their character. These fruits are limited based on moderator discretion but can be of any of the three types.

Monster Strength (3 Traits)

This character's strength is boosted by 60%.

Hardened Fighter (1 Trait - Professional)

Through excessive training in breaking planks, punching rocks, and all those durability-building exercises, the character’s arms, up to their elbows, and their legs, up to their knees, have gained flesh that is as hard as iron, making them much more resistant to physical damage.

Weak Point Sighted (1 Trait - Professional)

With all their experience in building things and taking them apart, these characters are able to pinpoint the weaknesses in architecture and can easily figure out how to do the most damage to weapons, ships, buildings and other large constructions.

Hammer of Rage (1 Trait - Professional)
Requires Weak-Point Sighted and at least Super Strength

Knowing how to make things also means knowing how to break them. Some carpenters come to revel in this destructive aspect of their trade even more than usual, becoming masters in breaking down anything with a form. The character is able to freeform breaking objects of up to iron hardness, and can breaker harder substances as if they were one tier lower in terms of technique rank. They remain unable to destroy unbreakable quality materials, but may temporarily damage them (disabled for the duration of that SL) instead of breaking them.


Devil Fruit
 
Devil Fruit Name: Ryuu Ryuu no Mi (Dinosaur Dinosaur a Fruit) - Model: Ankylosaurus
Devil Fruit Type: Ancient Zoan
Devil Fruit Ability: The user of this fruit has the power to transform into the ancient Ankylosaurus as well as a half human half dinosaur form. The Ankylosaurus was a dinosaur known for its armored spiked plates that rested along its backside as well as its tremendous size, making it quite the formidable power in combat.


Techniques
Regular Technique Points: 145
Used Regular Technique Points: 95 (73 + 22)
Special Technique Points: 0
Used Special Technique Points: 0

Devil Fruit Techniques
When Dinosaurs Walk the Earth Again
Full Transformation
(Rank 25 - Signature)
Type: Devil Fruit
Range: Self
Stats: +15 Stamina, +10 Strength

Description: Serana transforms into the ancient Ankylosaurus, an armored dinosaur of the late Cretaceous period. In this form, her body is covered in very dark green scales and spiked armored plates along her back and tail, which has a large club at the end. She has a wide skull with a beak at the front part of her jaws as well as two horns right above her ears pointing behind her. She also has oval shaped yellow eyes and small, leaf shaped teeth in addition to small claws at each of her four feet. Her form is a bit on the small side, measuring 5.8 meters (~5.8 meters) long (including the tail) and 1.5 meters (~5 feet) tall, with her tail being 2 meters (~6.5 feet) long, and she weighs about 5 tonnes (11,000 lbs).

Wonder Woman Meets The Cretaceous Period
Hybrid Transformation
(Rank 14 - 4 Free)
Type: Devil Fruit
Range: Self
Stats: +10 Strength, +4 Stamina

Description: Serana transforms into a hybrid between a human and the ancient Ankylosaurus, an armored dinosaur of the late Cretaceous period. Her body is covered in very dark green scales and spike armored plates along her back as well as her grown tail, which has a club at the end. Her skull noticeably widens and she forms a beak at the end of her mouth/jaw. She also gains yellow, oval shaped eyes as well as small claws at the tips of her fingers and toes. In this form, she grows to about 12 feet (~3.66 meters) tall and a weight of about 2 tonnes (~4,400 lbs), and her tail is about 3 feet (~.9 meters).

Jurassic Park Gone Horribly Right
Specialized Hybrid Transformation
(Rank 25)
Branched from Hybrid Transformation
Type: Devil Fruit
Range: Self
Stats: +15 Strength, +10 Stamina

Description: Serana transforms into a specialized hybrid between a human and the ancient Ankylosaurus, an armored dinosaur of the late Cretaceous period. Her body is covered in very dark green scales and spike armored plates along her back as well as her grown tail, which has a club at the end. In addition, her arms and legs now have spiked armored plates growing along them, and her fingers and toes also have claws. Her skull widens just a tad and her jaw becomes more pointy, but otherwise her head and face remain the same with the exception of now yellow, oval shaped eyes. In this form, she grows to about 8 feet (~2.44 meters) tall and a weight of about .5 tonnes (~1,100 lbs), and her tail is about 2 feet (~.6 meters).

Sticks and Stones Don't Break My Bones
(Rank 24)
Type: Defensive
Range: Self
Stats:

Description: In her zoan transformations, Serana has spiked armored plates on various parts of her body. This natural armor is of High Tier quality, applicable to the plates themselves and not the scales in general. +24 High Tier Armor

Not Your Typical Prince Charming
(Rank 14)
Type: Offensive
Range: Melee
Stats: N/A
Power: 14

Description: Serana sweeps her opponents off their feet, only not in the good way. With a swing of her tail, Serana can lift them off of their feet and send them flying away as if they were an annoying fly bothering her. Can be achieved in either of her forms. +8 Displacement

Cut Me Some Slack Over Here
(Rank 14)
Type: Offensive
Range: Short
Stats: N/A
Power: 10

Description: Using the spiked plates on her arms, Serana cuts the air in front of her, causing it to travel through the air for several meters in the form of a shockwave and cause cutting damage on whatever it hits. This can only be used in her Special Hybrid Form as it is the only one with armored plates on the forearms. +10 Shockwave, +4 Short Range


Regular Combat Techniques
Jet Fuel Can't Melt Steel, But Serana Can Break It
(Rank 14)
Type: Offensive
Range: Melee
Stats: N/A
Power: 0

Description: Much to the disarray of metal enthusiasts everywhere, Serana delivers a strong, concise punch to a Mid Tier material, breaking it if it delivers a precise hit. +14 Starter Tier Breaking, Benefits from the Hammer of Rage trait

Rock, Paper, Scissors, Fist
(Rank 8)
Type: Offensive
Range: Melee
Stats: N/A
Power: 8

Description: Serana pulls her arm back and delivers a strong punch to the poor sucker who decided to piss her off, knocking them back due to the force behind her fists of fury. +8 Displacement


Development History
Gains/Losses:

9 Years of OPRP - 18 SD, 9M Beli

When the River Runs Green - 18 SD, 4.5M Beli, +3 Commendations

8th Anniversary Candy Eaten - 16 SD

Eight Freakin' Years! Anniversary! - Special Special 8th Anniversary Swag Bag

Attack on Jacket + Combat Boots - Minus 1,600,000 Beli

Scoop


Edit Log:

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Edited by RainingBlades, Oct 5 2017, 12:55 PM.
Literally Annie

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thelonelynarrators
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RainingBlades
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Ok so a couple of things:
  • As properly noted, this is a scoop of Catherine Elizabeth Temple.

  • I worked on this app over a long period of time and made many changes throughout that time, so if there are any typos/inconsistencies, I apologize.

  • I apologize if the whole “by the way she’s a carpenter” thing seemed hastily thrown in, but it didn’t really fit in smoothly with the narrative. I can change this if it’s really necessary.

  • I tried to make it very clear at the end of her History that I’m not trying to give her top connections in the WG due to her backstory. I might bring a character or two into her RP as I see fit, but I’m not trying to cut any corners in terms of authority or IC knowledge or anything.

  • Beli count is Standardized + Contest Beli. There is a decent chance I miscalculated.

  • I need “Attack on Jacket” and “Combat Boots” priced. They should both be very simple.
Literally Annie

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Oceonax
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Closet Tsundere
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12.5mil earned up to 50 SD.
63.5 earned past 50 SD.
76*1.05 (From Shitty Jacket)
=79.8mil
+0.5mil starting beli
=80,300,000 beli.

Attack on Jacket: 1mil
Combat boots: 600k.

All your techs need power, minus zoan transformations and natural armour stuff.
Not your typical prince charming should have power 14.
Cut me some slack should have power 10.
Medium range is minimum rank 28, so sliced pizza delivery is too low rank to get medium range.
Jet fuel can't melt steel needs to be a punch or a kick, not either.
Rock paper scissors should have power 8.
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Cute Girls. (Minus One)
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RainingBlades
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Beli updated to 80,300,000.

Items purchased. Minus 1.6 mil, Beli is now 78,700,000

I was so confused by what you meant until I realized I accidentally copied over the old technique format from a previous app and, therefore, completely overlooked the lack of specifying Power. It should be fixed now.

Definitely overlooked that min rank thing; Sliced Pizza... removed

Jet fuel... changed to just a kick

Thanks Oceonax!
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Shamma
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i think

but the cream font may have thrown me off

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Piper • Pirate • Martial Artist/Weapon Specialist • Hot RocketsBounty: 343,000,000 • SD Earned: 881 • Beli: 259,500,000 • Location: Raijin Island

Jija Juju • Marine • Inventor/Marksman/Scholar/Doctor • FioreRank: Rear Admiral • SD Earned: 579 • Beli: 188,000,000 • Location: Couture Island, Grand Line

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mockday
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i do inportent shit
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Yup, everything seems alright. Though that cream font really is garrish.

Minor thing was pointed out, you've paid for the high-tier material effect but not the minimum requirement for it, which is Rank 36. So, Sticks and Stones Don't Break My Bones needs to be changed.

Edited by mockday, May 1 2016, 03:31 PM.
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RainingBlades
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See this is where I feel the Technique section outlined is confusing. The table lists 4/12/24 as the cost with the 10/22/36 min rank. However, when it comes to natural armor for fishmen and zoans, it lists the values again as having a cost of 4/12/24.

Now maybe it's just listing the costs again and it still adheres to the minimum rank, but then there'd be no reason to repeat the information; it would be better to just explain that it's a standalone cost without any AE activation that adheres to the table above.

Instead, it reads like "low tier natural armor techs are Rank 4" and so on. This makes sense for a couple reasons: the first being that if you have a starter character with a fishman species that gives you natural armor, you're able to have said natural armor tech from the get go. If you had to have a min rank of 10, then you couldn't even have the natural armor you're supposed to get until you acquire, on average, an additional 48 SD, which is just silly. The second is that unlike regular defensive techniques that use high tier armor in the form of "this tech is rank 36 with 12 points going into a block power of 12 and the rest going into high tier defenses," there is no block and block power portion of natural armor. It's just the natural armor, nothing more.

Maybe I'm misunderstanding this system since, like I said, I think it's confusing wording personally. And so if I'm wrong, I'm wrong; just seeking clarification.

Also thank you mockday and shamma for reviewing my app.

EDIT: Also I darkened the text color. I usually check how it looks under all different backgrounds, but I guess I forgot to this time around. Now it should be (more) readable against Beach/Original backgrounds.
Edited by RainingBlades, May 3 2016, 01:16 PM.
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thelonelynarrators
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ShadowBlade
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I believe you are correct in your argument. If anyone else disagrees please let me know. If not, I'll go ahead and move this application along. I'm pretty sure thats how it works for Zoans / Fishmen due to having select armor on their body. For example, a turtle shell. This would probably explain the lower ranking costs along with the trait cost. Was this ever settled though?

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RainingBlades
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So bumping does nothing, but I assume that mods just brush by this topic without even looking at it because I'm not the last one to reply, so...

Can this get resolved? Please?
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thelonelynarrators
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mockday
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i do inportent shit
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Sorry for having this delayed so much over such a minor detail, it probably should've been left alone after it had been intially moved since it was already correct. As SB mentioned, you're right in that regard and though it's not properly stated it wouldn't make sense for the rankings on Natural Armour to have a minimum rank requirement linked to them, otherwise it wouldn't be a worthwhile trait investment in and of itself.

So yeah, I'll boo myself for now.

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