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| Tweet Topic Started: Jul 22 2015, 07:06 AM (303 Views) | |||||
| matrixrevived | Jul 22 2015, 07:06 AM Post #1 | ||||
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Newbie
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Character Template [-----] Account Name: matrixrevived Basic Character Information Name: Matrix Nickname: Matrix Age: 29 Gender: Male Race: Human Affiliation: Marine Rank (Commendations): Seaman (0) Achievements: None Profession: Martial Artist- A Martial Artist is someone who specializes in hand-to-hand combat, completely or very close to unarmed. They usually have good insight in the aspects of weight, balance and movement of the body. Characters with this profession have access to certain additional traits and may create "Stance" techniques. , Inventor- An Inventor is a man or woman with knowledge in how various mechanical devices work. They have good insight in how blueprints work, and can upgrade weapons, build gadgets and battle engines if they have enough materials. Inventors gain the ability to create explosives that they may use in battle. Inventors have access to certain additional traits. Position: Gunner Physical Appearance Height: 6 ft Weight: 130lbs Hair: Brown, Short, Spikey Eyes: Brown Clothing/Accessories: Black Suit, Black Fedora, Black Gloves, black tennis shoes. gold monocle, Black pants, white socks. A gold watch, and an eyepatch General Appearance: Matrix has a scar across the right eye, usual bored expression. Matrix is a skinny man, and is Caucasian. His eyes always look closed. He walks slouched over and always looks sleepy. He has a small head and isn't very muscular. He also spins when he moves. His hair is usually a unorganized mess going in every direction. Spoiler: click to toggle The Character Personality: Matrix always has a bored expression and wants to get whatever he's doing done fast. He enjoys sleeping. Matrix is sadistic and is easy going. Matrix has little respect for others and is untrusting. He has a weak will and gives into temptations. Matrix is very intelligent and wise. He acts randomly without reason even though he knows it's a bad idea. Hometown: Loguetown History: Matrix was born in LogueTown and lived at a house on a hill. Every week his parents went down to the market to get food and water. One day when Matrix was 9 the police came while his parents were gone. Matrix was informed that pirates killed his family. Matrix joined the marines at age 19. Matrix trained hard then was captured by some pirates. He was tied up and left in the storage room of the ship. From outside he could hear screaming and cannons. Another pirate ship came and luckily for him he found a devil fruit. Matrix eats it and sheds out of the ropes. He then hid on the other pirates ship until they docked at logue town. At age 24 Matrix fought against a crew of pirates and his entire crew was on the brink of death which drove Matrix to become an inventor to rebuild his friends into cyborgs. Matrix then worked to create weapons to stop pirates. A year later Matrix suffered a accident while inventing. one of the machines attacked him and cut his eye causing him to wear an eyepatch. Matrix couldn't see very well with one eye causing him to tumble and spin when he walks and fights. Abilities and Possessions Combat: Matrix fights uncontrollably he'll take down the enemy even if it kills him. He fights with his iron knuckles and uses his shedding ability to escape from death. Matrix spins and tumbles around when he fights. He often has no idea where he's aiming. Weaponry: Iron Knuckles Items: N/A Beli: 500,000 SD Earned: 0 Stat Points: 32 Advancement Points: 0 SD Remaining: 0 Stats:
Techniques Regular Technique Points: 1 Used Regular Technique Points: 1 Special Technique Points: 0 Used Special Technique Points: 0
Development History Gains/Losses: Edit Log: Spoiler: click to toggle
Edited by matrixrevived, Jul 22 2015, 03:26 PM.
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| HeartOfLight | Jul 22 2015, 02:23 PM Post #2 | ||||
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Barely Concious
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Need to put (0) next to your rank to dictate your Commendations. Space out the Professions for ease of reading. As well, you need to choose to make ether Inventor or Martial Artist your primary profession; and italics the one you wish. For details see the Professions rules. Need another 2-3 Sentances on Clothing/Accessories at least. Need another 3-4 Sentances, 5 if you can on General Appearance- things like how they walk, facial structure, eyes, hair details, etc. Need another 2-3 Sentances on Personality. Need another 2-3 Paragaphs on History, go into details of childhood, mid-life, teenagers, and so forth. Take out the bit about stopping canons and bullets with your knuckles, that's high level techniques and items. Need to add another sentance or two on details of exactly how he fights, strategy, martial art styles, etc. You have 1 more SP to spend on your stats. Such as making Accuracy 8. Your Fortune is 8. Traits need the full trait information, including their price and their descriptions. See Trait rules for details. Keep in mind the Shedding Fruit will take 3 General Traits, leaving you only 1 Professional Trait. Need to add in the specific details of the shedding fruit, information on such can be found Here: Click Here Please. Regular Technique Points are 16. Used Refular Technique Points are 4 at least. Shed Escape would be Rank 4 to match the cost of 4 TP. |
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"I have the nerve to try and smile, ain't been happy for a while." Character List
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| matrixrevived | Jul 22 2015, 03:27 PM Post #3 | ||||
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4th time editing. hopefully it's fixed. | ||||
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| HeartOfLight | Jul 23 2015, 03:15 PM Post #4 | ||||
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Barely Concious
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Not really any other way to say this; you've only done like 1-2 changes for the changes I asked for. Please re-read my post and if you have questions regarding what I mean contact me or another staff member via PM. |
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"I have the nerve to try and smile, ain't been happy for a while." Character List
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| matrixrevived | Jul 24 2015, 05:00 AM Post #5 | ||||
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can you be more specific on the things I haven't done. (sorry for missing stuff, my brain turns to jelly when doing this). | ||||
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| ♥ Dusk | Jul 25 2015, 01:59 PM Post #6 | ||||
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( ͡° ͜🔴 ͡°)
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Please remove the lines "Inventors gain the ability to create explosives that they may use in battle. Inventors have access to certain additional traits." from the Inventor Profession description. Also:
Shed Escape would be Rank 4 to match the cost of 4 TP. |
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Follow the Clown Agenda! The Catastrophic Clarabell Grace Characters Raikou First DF! | |||||
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