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Rain on your parade; does not actually contain rain[Flagged][Flagged]
Topic Started: Mar 3 2015, 05:49 PM (278 Views)
Oceonax
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Closet Tsundere
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Character: Sam Wright
Request: Techs branches pls. Also traits and some cosmetic changes.
Changes:
The techs being reworded will have their lower ranked versions changed accordingly. But that would take up loads of space, so I'll just show the branches.
Weaponry
Mu μ: Magma Slash (36) [Branched from Pyro Slash]
Type: Offensive
Range: Melee
Stats: N/A
Description: Sam makes a powerful swing with her weapon while sending a jolt of electricity down it, superheating the material to make it glow hotly and also knock enemies back. The strength behind the attack even allows it to melt through steel and leave trails of fire on what it comes into contact with.
Weathermancy
Alpha α: Cumulonimbus (36) [Branched from Megalos Cumulus]
Type: Supportive
Range: Long
Stats: N/A
Description: After carefully manipulating airflow and water vapour density via other means, a large grey cumulonimbus cloud of a several meters in diameter is created. Upon creation it will merely drift up a few metres into the air, and will remain for up to nine posts.
Gamma Γ: Thunderstrike (38 Meteorology Master STP) [Branched from Thundershock]
Type: Offensive
Range: Long
Stats: N/A
Description: By creating a voltage imbalance in the air and surrounding atmosphere, Sam creates a large electrostatic discharge. This bolt of lightning must originate from a cloud and will strike wherever Sam desires, severely burning and electrocuting whatever it passes through while melting through materials up to the strength of steel. On contact with water or a highly conductive surface, the voltage will run throughout the entirety of that substance.
Epsilon ε: Smog (32) [Branched from Mist]
Type: Supportive
Range: Medium
Stats: N/A
Description: By subjecting warm air to sudden cooling, the water vapour in it condenses rapidly and creates a large veil of mist that obscures vision. The fog very potent, and reduces objects to slight blurs in the direct vicinity and can make them nothing more than slight disturbances if they are any further away away. The effect can be made to radiate from around Sam's position when she uses the technique, or from around a cloud, and lasts for eight posts.
Psi Ψ: Phantasm (38) [Branched from Illusion]
Type: Supportive
Range: Medium
Stats: N/A
Description: Having induced a large heat increase in the nearby air, the light bends as it passes through the difference in temperature. By carefully altering the airflow in the vicinity with slight body movements, Sam can distort what others see in the area. Though completely different images are not possible, she can create four optical clones of any one thing up to the size of a person, which follow the movements of the original. These can be close to the original object, in any space underneath a cloud within medium range, or anywhere within fog. They last for nine posts, or until hit with an attack.
Gadgets
Iota Ι: Static Cell V3.0 (36 Brilliant Mind STP) [Branched from Static Cell V2.5
Type: Offensive
Range: Medium
Stats: N/A
Description: A small, handheld metal capsule distinguishable by the three blue bands around the circumference. It is fitted with timer that can be set to detonate between 1 and 6 seconds after pulling the pin, but it does not contain regular explosives. Inside is a collection of filaments that quickly burn out once set off, creating a large burst of electric charge and heat that melts steel around the detonation point.

Sam carries 4 per SL.
Medicine
Theta Θ: Cleanse V2.5 (36 Anti-Toxin Specialist TP) [Branched from Cleanse V2.0]
Type: Supportive
Range: N/A
Stats: N/A
Description: Made with a large variety of antibodies produced by genetically modified bacteria, Sam has manufactured a medicine that will actively seek out and neutralise any and all foreign substances harming the target body. Any damage-type poison or disease lower than the rank of this technique is nullified, and those higher have the rank of this technique subtracted. The substance is contained as a small white pill with two orange bands and half a band.

Sam carries 5 per SL.


The Beta line of techniques will also be reworded slightly, merely to include that the severity of the rain increases with technique rank. They will be worded as such:
Techniques
Beta β: Droplet (8)
Type: Supportive
Range: Close
Stats: N/A
Description: By creating a slight difference in pressure and thus causing a brief fluctuation in temperature, the water vapour in a cumulus cloud in the area can be induced to condense and form a light sprinkling of rain. The coverage depends on the size of the cloud, and the rain will continue for two posts.
Beta β: Condensation (14) [Branched from Droplet]
Type: Supportive
Range: Close/Medium
Stats: N/A
Description: By creating a slight difference in pressure and thus causing a brief fluctuation in temperature, the water vapour in a cumulus cloud in the area can be induced to condense and form a drizzle of rain. The coverage depends on the size of the cloud, and the rain will continue for three posts.
Beta β: Rain (22) [Branched from Condensation]
Type: Supportive
Range: Medium
Stats: N/A
Description: By creating a slight difference in pressure and thus causing a brief fluctuation in temperature, the water vapour in a cumulus cloud in the area can be induced to condense and form a somewhat dense rain. The coverage depends on the size of the cloud, and the rain will continue for five posts.
Beta β: Storm (28) [Branched from Rain]
Type: Supportive
Range: Medium/Long
Stats: N/A
Description: By creating a slight difference in pressure and thus causing a brief fluctuation in temperature, the water vapour in a cumulus cloud in the area can be induced to condense and form a heavy downpour of rain. The coverage depends on the size of the cloud, and the rain will continue for seven posts.


As for the trait, I'd like to replace one of my fated with something like this:
Atmospheric Guide
 
Atmospheric Guide (1 trait) - Requires Weathermancy, 200 SD earned and must be located in the Grand Line
Because of their skills in predicting and manipulating weather, with enough planning and preparation these characters can much cause larger-scale natural phenomenon. Once per Storyline they may cause some form of large-scale weather effect to occur, such as a storm or hurricane. It can be large enough to encompass the island they are on, but due to the sheer size they do not have any form of control over it and merely dictate when it will form.

I put it in suggestions and questions but got no feedback, so it's here too.

The cosmetic changes will just be alterations to clothing/accessories to include the Zero Suit I bought.
Edited by Oceonax, Apr 27 2015, 09:23 AM.
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Franky
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Old Sea Cyborg
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Topic is flagged for approval.
“We all need to be mocked from time to time Lord Mormont lest we start to take ourselves too seriously.” - Tyrion Lannister
Braidbeard
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Darkoda
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Your topic had been reviewed!
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Singularity
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Twister needs the wording altered to "prolonged exposure can shred through steel" Also a 9 post duration is rediculously high 2 till 44 then you can bump it to 3

For smoke you're fine putting that it heavily obscures vision but you can't start quoting specific distances that people will be able to see, that changes with the persons ability theres no hard set number for all.

Also you need to take out the "effect extends wherever there are clouds" clause. The way it works is the clouds are a pre requisite, (though to be honest you noly need them for some of the techniques like the lightning ones, something like twister could be done without one) each tech still has it's own range but can be used within an area covered by that cloud.

Phantasm you can have 4 clones but that's what they would be illusiory clones no size altering elements.
Izuru & Yogi • Crew Position: Captain • Weapon Specialist • Frostbite PiratesBounty: 350,000,000 • SD Earned: 1192 • Beli: 345,100,000 • Location: Florian Triangle • Theme:

Kazuki • Crew Position:N/A • Assassin • N/ACommendations: 88 • SD Earned: 356 • Beli: 165,500,000 • Location: Little Garden

Xavros • Crew Position:Fool • Entertainer • Theme tuneBounty: 103,000,000 • SD Earned: 406 • Beli: 191,000,000 • Location: Machine Island

Anthrax • Crew Position:N/A • Inventor • N/ABounty: 0 • SD Earned: 186 • Beli: 74,000,000 • Location:Gesso Island

Kuma • Crew Position:N/A • Smith • N/AThreat: 30 • SD Earned: 181 • Beli: 16,900,000 • Location:Custom Island
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Oceonax
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Closet Tsundere
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Twister matches the description of the technique it was branched off, bar being more posts because of the rank up scaling. If this technique is not allowed, the entire tree of techniques which have already been approved would need to be redone.

Smoke also follows the same wording as techniques before it in its tree. As far as I know, there can be set distances for the same reason people can't see through a brick wall no matter how good their vision is.

The extending to clouds clause is also on previous approved techniques. The clouds are indeed a prerequisite, but since they do nothing on their own they can be used to supplement the fog somewhat. I could add in a range limit to how close the clouds need to be, maybe?

There are no size altering elements to the clones. The part about size is how large the objects that clones are made of can be. For example, with the lower techniques only a mirage of a person is possible, but with this higher one a mirage of a shack could be made.
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Singularity
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Yeh the previous techniques all have a series of errors on them. If you'd be willing to post them here and we go through them and fix them that would be fantastic (not even a little bit for me) but that said im not gonna continue to approve a chain of bad techs just because they're branched from some.

Yeh but given clones of people start at about rank 14 and add one per 8 ranks you're pretty much at the cap, that's for people sized illusions. If you were to have less then making illusions of larger things wouldn't be too much of a problem but as is 4 people sized illusions is what you'd get.
Izuru & Yogi • Crew Position: Captain • Weapon Specialist • Frostbite PiratesBounty: 350,000,000 • SD Earned: 1192 • Beli: 345,100,000 • Location: Florian Triangle • Theme:

Kazuki • Crew Position:N/A • Assassin • N/ACommendations: 88 • SD Earned: 356 • Beli: 165,500,000 • Location: Little Garden

Xavros • Crew Position:Fool • Entertainer • Theme tuneBounty: 103,000,000 • SD Earned: 406 • Beli: 191,000,000 • Location: Machine Island

Anthrax • Crew Position:N/A • Inventor • N/ABounty: 0 • SD Earned: 186 • Beli: 74,000,000 • Location:Gesso Island

Kuma • Crew Position:N/A • Smith • N/AThreat: 30 • SD Earned: 181 • Beli: 16,900,000 • Location:Custom Island
Things i look at when i'm feeling blue

King of the Pirates


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Finally a Father, they make you so proud
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Oceonax
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Closet Tsundere
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A bunch of changes have been made in accordance to discussions with Singularity and RainingBlades.

There are still some things that haven't been addressed though, mainly for the illusion techs. Is it fine to have the clones go where the clouds are, and inside the fog?
Also there's the trait, not sure if that's a thing or not.

For the tornadoes, I get the feeling it should start out as 2 posts at r14 and increase by 1 every 14 posts. Otherwise, for the lower ranked techniques which only last one post, the tornado won't ever get to do any damage. Although, since it's a big effect, I would be fine with it only being useful at high ranks anyway.
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Singularity
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Dairy 4 T4
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Sorry i've been a bit back and forth on this, thinking about it a large tornado that just shreds steel even with the duration is pretty excessive. I'd say given the scale drop it a tier, just let me know if you want me to get a second opinion since that wasn't what i initially went for.

First rain tech should be close range

second close/mid

and last mid/long

Static cell should be - melts steel at the point of detonation, not just anything within it.

The illusion tech - the description isn't too bad, as long as you understand it's anywhere beneath a cloud within a medium range of herself.

Still got the extension stuff going on with smog. You can create the weather effects anywhere within the range of your cloud, but their individual range is governed by tech rank not the predecessor cloud tech.
Izuru & Yogi • Crew Position: Captain • Weapon Specialist • Frostbite PiratesBounty: 350,000,000 • SD Earned: 1192 • Beli: 345,100,000 • Location: Florian Triangle • Theme:

Kazuki • Crew Position:N/A • Assassin • N/ACommendations: 88 • SD Earned: 356 • Beli: 165,500,000 • Location: Little Garden

Xavros • Crew Position:Fool • Entertainer • Theme tuneBounty: 103,000,000 • SD Earned: 406 • Beli: 191,000,000 • Location: Machine Island

Anthrax • Crew Position:N/A • Inventor • N/ABounty: 0 • SD Earned: 186 • Beli: 74,000,000 • Location:Gesso Island

Kuma • Crew Position:N/A • Smith • N/AThreat: 30 • SD Earned: 181 • Beli: 16,900,000 • Location:Custom Island
Things i look at when i'm feeling blue

King of the Pirates


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Finally a Father, they make you so proud
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Oceonax
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Closet Tsundere
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Edited everything apart from the tornado. I'll look for some other opinions, because in my opinion material breaking after one post is not particularly powerful. Anyone can just step out, and they'll be fine. Maybe I should say something about its size though? I was guessing it went up with rank, but I haven't actually put that in the tech.
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Singularity
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Dairy 4 T4
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Yeh it's not so much the effect as the fact that due to it's size this tornado could be affecting like 3-4 people at once while making them all suffer steel tier material breaking which puts it a long way ahead of anything else at it's rank.

Just add to the illusion one "or until they are dispersed" by the 9 post duration, since they can sit around and be confusing but if they're attacked then they'll dissapear.
Izuru & Yogi • Crew Position: Captain • Weapon Specialist • Frostbite PiratesBounty: 350,000,000 • SD Earned: 1192 • Beli: 345,100,000 • Location: Florian Triangle • Theme:

Kazuki • Crew Position:N/A • Assassin • N/ACommendations: 88 • SD Earned: 356 • Beli: 165,500,000 • Location: Little Garden

Xavros • Crew Position:Fool • Entertainer • Theme tuneBounty: 103,000,000 • SD Earned: 406 • Beli: 191,000,000 • Location: Machine Island

Anthrax • Crew Position:N/A • Inventor • N/ABounty: 0 • SD Earned: 186 • Beli: 74,000,000 • Location:Gesso Island

Kuma • Crew Position:N/A • Smith • N/AThreat: 30 • SD Earned: 181 • Beli: 16,900,000 • Location:Custom Island
Things i look at when i'm feeling blue

King of the Pirates


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Finally a Father, they make you so proud
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Darkhunter
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Anti-Pika Specialist
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Fixed
 
Atmospheric Guide (1 trait) - Requires Weathermancy, 200 SD earned and must be located in the Grand Line
Because of their skills in predicting and manipulating weather, with enough planning and preparation these characters can much cause larger-scale natural phenomenon. Once per Storyline they may cause some form of large-scale weather effect to occur, such as a storm or hurricane. It can be large enough to encompass the island they are on, but due to the sheer size they do not have any form of control over it and merely dictate when it will form.


Your medicine should have a little footnote saying "only works against damage type poisons"


These techs for the most part seem fine to me.---------
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Oceonax
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Closet Tsundere
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So the tornado stays steel breaking, or do you mean it goes down a tier as Rayne suggested?

It's a little underwhelming that the anti-poison only works against damage type poisons though, since it means I paid a trait for an ability that just comes with life return anyway.
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Franky
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Since there has been an overhaul on how whethermancy works, some of your previous techs should also be changed in order to match these.

Xi tech tree needs some work. Gust, Whirlwind and Tornado all last for one post. Cyclone has to be raised to rank 36 minimum, since it's branched from an iron breaker, and it lasts for two posts.

Theta tech tree needs some work. Go through Cleanse V1.0, V1.5 and V2.0, and specify in all of them that they work on damage poisons, not all poisons.

Everything else is A-Ok.
“We all need to be mocked from time to time Lord Mormont lest we start to take ourselves too seriously.” - Tyrion Lannister
Braidbeard
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Oceonax
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Since this has taken too long, I'm going to just scrap updating Xi until later when I revision. I'll edit the existing ones, though.
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Franky
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Topic is flagged for approval.
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