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Let's Get Baked; aka Smoking the Competition
Topic Started: Dec 4 2014, 07:07 PM (417 Views)
RainingBlades
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OOC


It had been about a week since that obviously LSD fueled trip that Catullus had gone under, and he had been on this island for a few days less than that. Looking back, there wasn't actually much he could remember from the whole ordeal, save for the few non disturbing portions that were sprinkled here and there, but he did know that it was terrible. It reminded him why he had stopped doing most drugs for the most part in the first place, to be honest, as the experience wasn't one that he would like to repeat any time soon. I mean seriously kids: drugs are extremely bad for you, and the only thing that's going to happen if you take them is you'll make poor decisions and end up getting addicted most of the time.

Yet here he was, in a living room of an apartment in one of the more shady parts of town with a girl about to smoke some weed. To be fair, he wasn't addicted: he hadn't smoke any for at least a year or so. And to be even fairer, it's not like he was going to make this a regular thing again just because he was breaking his self imposed ban this one time. And to be even more fair, the girl was really fucking hot, and it wasn't often a really attractive chick wanted to smoke a bowl with you. It seemed like a lot of girls didn't do it at all for some reason or another, though maybe that's because he went after the types of girls who were "too proper for that" or some shit like that. But not this one; wow was she a drop dead gorgeous pothead.

Who knows, perhaps he would get lucky tonight? There was no telling exactly what would happen, but there was only one way to find out. As preparations were finished, Catullus began to smoke with the lovely lady, and soon he reached cloud nine and entered a whole new world...
Literally Annie

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KileyBarker
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She took a long drag of the fag before blowing a puff of smoke into the face of Catullus. Her soft lips and alluring features only seemed to become more prominent with every puff the man would take.

She splayed a strange smile across her face before climbing to her feet.

"Come along, cowboy~ I've got a talent I want to show off." Said the woman. The words rolled off her lips and fell to the floor, saturated with double entendre.

She hooked her index finger under the collar of Catulllus's tie and gently pulled him along. The colors of the room seemed to blend together as they moved. Were he sober the man might have noticed just how much running was involved in keeping pace, but his mind was likely in... Other places.

OOC
"And says 'at last' just as the time bell rings
Goodnight, now it's time to go home
And he makes it fast with one more thing
We are the Sultans
We are the Sultans of Swing"

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RainingBlades
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Either Catullus was already getting pretty fucking high or zander was pulling some Lion King conspiracy bullshit on him; he could have sworn the smoke blown onto his face spelled out SEX, and he would be damned if it really said something like SFX or something stupid like that. No, there was no denying it; this woman wanted him, and she wanted him badly. He could just imagine it right now: a night full of pot and sex, every man's dream.

And men who didn't dream about that were just lying, because he'd be damned if there was a guy on this planet that didn't want to do that. I mean seriously, what could possibly be wrong with that situation besides the potential of the woman faking it and handcuffing you to the bed as she took everything you owned from you, robbing you blind? Hell, it was even feasible she did that when stoned...... he's not helping his case, is he?

And then it happened: the woman said the magical words.... Ok, technically she didn't say, "Take me right here, right now," but she might as well have. Hooking his collar with her index finger, Catullus felt as if his feet were lifted off of the floor and he was just floating as she dragged him around like a balloon. In reality, he was actually having to move pretty fast in order to keep up, but it's not like he actually paying attention to that sort of thing right now. His mind was one..... well, you know what.
Literally Annie

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KileyBarker
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"You're falling behind, cutie~" Said the woman. Her voice seemed to echo forever in catullus's head.

She let go of his tie and began to backpedal. She seemed to be vanishing and reappearing further and further away from him, as if she could somehow use soru while running backwards in an extremely sexy manner (which she totally could).

The lights grew more intense as a cold wind seemed to cut the man to his very bones. They were definitely not in that flimsy apartment room anymore, that much was certain... If Catullus was sober he might have noticed the massive crowd of people littering the street ahead, but in his inebriated state it would only look like a purple river where every person's movements became nothing more than eddy currents in the grand rapids of his mind.

The woman, standing still on the precipice of this storming river, tilted her head to the side and licked her lips.

"You want to see my talent?" Asked the woman in an alluring tone.

Then, without giving the man a chance to respond, she stepped backwards into the purple river. She began dancing, moving through the eddy currents like she was a leaf on the wind, and she smoothly popped out the other side. In reality she had moved through a crowded street without being seen by a single person in the crowd. Her movements were so fluid it was almost as if her limbs had forgotten the limitations of joints.

With a soft echoing giggle, she began moving again. If Catullus couldn't complete this first challenge then he wasn't fit to be with her anyways~ Besides, she had shown him exactly what he needed to do.
"And says 'at last' just as the time bell rings
Goodnight, now it's time to go home
And he makes it fast with one more thing
We are the Sultans
We are the Sultans of Swing"

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RainingBlades
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Usually Catullus tended to become self-aware of the fact that he was tripping even when he got really fucking high. Whether he remembered the events afterwards was irrelevant; it seemed to him to be a trend of always realizing he was stoned out of his mind whenever it happened, and he couldn't quite put his finger on why. But of course, this was one of those rare cases where, for once, he actually didn't realize it. Because his other head was the one doing all the thinking right now, and poor Catullus was blinded by the hormones so much that he had no choice but to follow its orders.

Of course he was kind of weirded out a bit when the chick seemed to be dislocating her body in some strange way as she slipped through this weird purple river thingy, but it wasn't enough to turn him off. Besides, he couldn't just wait around doing nothing; he had a chick to elope with! The poetic playboy began to run after his object of affection, moving in between the people with ease..... before getting shove out and his ass slamming to the floor. "What the deuce?!?" Catullus tried again, and he met the same fate. And again a third time! This was terrible; he could barely see...... umm, see....... see what's her name anymore and pretty soon he'd lose her forever!!!

......Unless....... Nah, he couldn't do something like that, right? Then again, anything was fucking possible, and Catullus' stoned mind figured that fuck it, why couldn't he dislocate his body parts as if it was no big deal too? So Catullus began to move through the crowd again, but this time he focused in on his arm and.... Holy shit, did that actually work?!? Wait, now he'd need to pop the leg..... fuck, this was actually doable after all; he just thought he was tripping for a moment there when he saw the girl do it! Good thing he wasn't hallucinating that bad yet, right? Getting the hang of this loose joint thingy, Catullus made it through the sea with ease this time. Moving everything back to their right spots when he made it through, Catullus began to sprint after the girl. "Wait for me, my love!!!!"
Literally Annie

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She kept running just beyond Catullus's reach. Every step she took had a certain measure of grace to it. Every movement she made was fluid, every action was dynamic. Her breathing was rhythmic. Her motions had a certain melody to them. She moved like a metronome. Her hair seemed to dance on the wind.

The scenery began to shift again. They were running uphill now... except it wasn't a hill. It was a mountain. Where had they even found a mountain on Iron Knife Island? Such questions were foolish to even entertain. It mattered not how, it only mattered that they did.

She leapt from rock surface to rock surface, climbing with ease. Every muscle in her body moved with an efficiency unmatched. Catullus wouldn't be so lucky. He'd have to learn to control his muscles if he had any hopes of keeping up. Could he keep up?
"And says 'at last' just as the time bell rings
Goodnight, now it's time to go home
And he makes it fast with one more thing
We are the Sultans
We are the Sultans of Swing"

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RainingBlades
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Great, as if going through a sea of crowds wasn't difficult enough; now Catullus was expected to climb fucking mountains? I mean give him a break, please; he just wanted to get inside this girls pants. Was that too much to ask for? Did it really require all of this bullshit? Well, guess whether he liked it or not, the answer seemed to be yes. Which of course means he had to figure out how to keep up with the chick.

Just from looking at things, Catullus could tell he wasn't exactly suited for all this high speed jumping, even given his athletic talents and abilities. But then again, it didn't seem like she was built for this sort of stuff either; just what was it that she was doing? It's as if she was focusing her energy all in certain muscles and jolting them just enough to get the jumps down and efficiently enough that she didn't burn out or pull something while doing it. Which made the green haired poet think that perhaps he could do the same thing? Like earlier?

Well, it was worth a try. Catullus honed is mind on his leg muscles, relaxing the rest of his body as he took a deep breath. Then, eyes closed, the man began to sprint forward and tried to release that pent up energy as he jumped. Opening his eyes, Catullus expected to be about to face plant into the mountainside, but to his amazement, he actually made the jump. For the most part, anyways; he had to grab on and hoist himself up, but still pretty damn good. And so the man continued to do it, jumping from one rock to the next, getting better with each leap and, more importantly, closer to having sex with one hella fine girl.
Literally Annie

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When Catullus finally reached the peak he would be provided with one of the most stimulating things he'd ever see. She was naked, with only his breath on the cold air covering her up. There was a pool here... Did they really climb a mountain or was this some rooftop abode?

She slowly stepped into the pool. The water wasn't deep, and she kept her feet on the bottom the entire time. It'd be a shame if her lover drowned due to his... Condition. Being a devil fruit eater was really inconvenient wasn't it.

If Catullus would step into the water himself he would be subjected to something surprising: the water was so cold no sane human could survive in it. It would only be then that he'd notice the steam emanating from the woman's body as if she were heating herself up internally...

Was she controlling her body heat?

She splashed the water around, laughing.

"What, did the cold shrink your libido?" Said the girl with her soft lips.

She stepped out of the far side of the pool and began to dry herself off slowly with a towel. Catullus was so close.
"And says 'at last' just as the time bell rings
Goodnight, now it's time to go home
And he makes it fast with one more thing
We are the Sultans
We are the Sultans of Swing"

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RainingBlades
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OOC

Once Catullus finally made it to the top, he couldn't help but get, uhh, excited upon seeing what awaited him. His jaw dropped, drool mostly likely beginning to quickly form as his stoned self tried to verify with himself that he wasn't making this all up like in one of those weird otaku-like text based role playing games and that this was legitimately happening to him. Not really thinking straight anymore, Catullus immediately began to undress himself and...... oh you have got to be kidding me.

No baby, don't go in the water; just stay out where it was nice and dry, ok? I mean why would you want to be in the stupid water anyways? Just come on out and they could go ahead and get to the good ok she's not coming out. Ok, fuck it. Throwing off the remainder of his clothing, Catullus mentally prepared himself for what he was about to do. He wasn't going to drown, he wasn't even going to swim, he was just going to walk through the shallow water. This was something even a devil fruit user was capable of doing, and it's not like it was a salt water pool and would weaken him...... right?

So there he went, valiantly and fearlessly stepping into the OH JESUS CHRIST THAT WAS COLD. Yanking his foot out, Catullus' entire body shivered just based on how cold his foot was. I mean this was insane; how on earth could it be so cold when she seemed to move through it so seamlessly. And wait, was that fucking steam coming out around her? Wait, was this another one of these bullshit tests? Cause if you think for one second that he was going to put up with this shit anymore, you have to be-

Ok, she was out of the water now. And still naked. Fuck it. "Coming my love!~" he chimed as he stepped into the water again, trying his best to ignore the cold. Focusing on nothing but his internal body heat and trying to keep it up at insanely high levels, Catullus proceeded to get deeper into the water and then walked forward, his eyes closed as he put all his thoughts into raising his body temperature along with thinking how fucking cold it was. And before he knew it, he finally tapped his toe against the side of the stairs leading out. Opening his eyes finally, he found it hard to see what with all the steam coming up from around him. And so he dramatically rose out of the water, hoping to finally claim his reward...
Literally Annie

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thelonelynarrators
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The woman walked sensually towards a pair of sliding panel doors situated orthogonal to the pool. The door itself had some kind of strange markings on it and the frame appeared to be made of metal.

Wrapping the towel around her hair, the woman grabbed a handle in each hand. Her form rippled with power as her musculature showed itself for a moment. These doors must have weighed several tons each to cause her such issue. It was almost like she needed to re-balance her muscular systems in order to even budge them.

Once she stepped inside the parted gates, they slammed shut behind her. If Catallus could manage to pass this obstacle, he'd find the prize laying on a heart shaped bed in a classic sensual pose. This was the final challenge. It was like lifting an anchor, it would take more effort than strength here.

OOC
"And says 'at last' just as the time bell rings
Goodnight, now it's time to go home
And he makes it fast with one more thing
We are the Sultans
We are the Sultans of Swing"

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RainingBlades
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Oh God, please tell him this was the last thing he'd have to do, please? He couldn't take any more of these tasks, and the fact that he already had to do something after the, oh I don't know, almost drowning and freezing to death task already pissed him off quite a bit. But this was all going to be worth it in the end; I mean the girl of his dreams (you know, the one who wasn't the girl that he decided to be a pirate just to attract her attention and get captured by her to see her again) was right in front of him and he could not let this opportunity pass up so easily. No, he was getting in that bed with this woman, and that was final.

And so Catullus, already guessing that he would have to do some weird muscle shifting type thingy to open these doors because, obviously, it would be too easy to just be able to get them open normally, began to flex his muscles and pull on the handles. Even when using his full strength, he could not hope to do more than slightly disturb the doors, but he would not give up. Focusing on his body, he slowly felt his muscles shift and change places, and slowly but surely, the doors started to come apart. Sweat rolling down his very angry looking face, Catullus bit back the pain and eventually got them open just enough so that he could walk through. Doing his best to keep them open just long enough, the man stepped through and then let go, hearing a satisfying thud behind him.

And there she was; his prize. For all this bullshit hard work he had to do to get here, he got the greatest reward of all: cuddling. Oh right, and the sex. Can't forget about that. And so with the grace of a sweaty swan, the still stark naked poetic playboy slipped into the bed, and then began to slowly caress-

Fade to black....

Oh come on, like you didn't see that one coming.
Literally Annie

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thelonelynarrators
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The morning sun would enter a nearby window and caress Catullus's face. He'd probably have an epic hangover, and his body would probably be super sore. Like ultra super sore.

Then he'd realize he's sitting on a bed in the apartment he started the whole adventure from the night before in. A sober Catullus might think it was all a dream...

But something would be a bit odd about his body. He might be able to notice it if he tried.

Oh and there was a strange note on the pillow next to him.

note
 
Hey, uh, so last night happened. I was high, you were high... Let's just pretend this never happened. I'm totally not saying that because I think you're ugly. Because you aren't. I'm saying that because you suck in bed. Just awful. Downright terrible. I thought I could train you and fix this problem, but you didn't seem to understand the point of the lesson. Please don't come looking for me. If you ever see me on the street I'll probably punch you and then run away... While mocking you and accusing you of being a pervert as loudly as possible.

-E.D.


OOC
"And says 'at last' just as the time bell rings
Goodnight, now it's time to go home
And he makes it fast with one more thing
We are the Sultans
We are the Sultans of Swing"

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RainingBlades
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OOC


Letting out a huge yawn, Catullus stretched his arms out before realizing that damn did they hurt. I mean seriously, it's like that weird dream he had last night about the girl and the trials and what not was actually true. Though he definitely felt a hangover, so perhaps it was just a trip rather than a dream? Either way, it was a pretty crazy dream and...... why hello, what was this? A note?

note
 
Hey, uh, so last night happened. I loved it, you loved it.... Let's just pretend this never happened. I'm totally not saying that because I think you're ugly. Because you're fucking hot. And I'm not saying that you suck in bed. Because you're just outstanding. I thought I could train you and make you even better, and it seems that you understood the point of the lesson. Please don't come looking for me, though. If you ever see me on the street I'll probably ignore you and then run away... While regretting it and yelling about you being great in bed as loudly as possible.

-K.B.


Yeah he was still stoned out of his mind. I mean damn that was some potent stuff, and damn did he smoke a lot. But Catullus seemed satisfied and happy regardless, even if he had no idea why this K.B. person didn't want to see him again. But oh well; sometimes you just had to move on. And you know, it was kind of relieving to know it wasn't all just some trip or dream. I mean hell, at this point he would believe it if he looked right down and saw his finger nails grow at will right before his-wait what.

Fin...
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Thank you for your patience. Your storyline has been reviewed.

Catullus8 SD4,000,000Bonuses::
Deductions::


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Nothing! Okay that was a joke. You unlock Life Return!!!!!!!!!!!! Yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay Consolation Prize!!!!!!!


SL Notes
"And says 'at last' just as the time bell rings
Goodnight, now it's time to go home
And he makes it fast with one more thing
We are the Sultans
We are the Sultans of Swing"

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