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| Avary M. Gray | |||||||||||||||||
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| Tweet Topic Started: Mar 12 2013, 05:03 AM (469 Views) | |||||||||||||||||
| Avarice | Mar 12 2013, 05:03 AM Post #1 | ||||||||||||||||
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Forenote: While I've finished this first draft, there are no doubt things that need to be played about with for the approval of the mods/admins, with whom I'm happy to compromise with. I was also wondering what the Stat-enhancement limit is for the rank4 Devil Fruit technique part is (the overview). I've put +2 Stamina, but looking through others, (Zoan types mainly) there seems to be a higher boundary, which I could really use. Perhaps someone could help me out here? Character Template [-----] Account Name: Avarice Basic Character Information Name: Avary M. Gray Nickname: "Chitin Fist" Gray Age: 20 Gender: Male Race: Human Affiliation: Pirates Bounty: 0 Achievements: N/A Profession: ~Martial Artist A Martial Artist is someone who specializes in hand-to-hand combat, completely or very close to unarmed. They usually have good insight in the aspects of weight, balance and movement of the body. Martial artists get one free rank 4 technique that is a stat-altering technique, used on themselves. ~Navigator The Navigator profession gives knowledge about reading sea charts, currents and weather, reading the stars for a position and a lot of practical ship knowledge, too. Plotting a course along with the related mathematics, all of these are part of the Navigator's job. Position: Captain Physical Appearance Height: 5'9" Weight: 80kg Hair: Dark Brown, Ponytail and fringe Eyes: Red Clothing/Accessories: Often wears an open long, black jacket with a sleeveless black Chinese shirt beneath. with similar coloured combats and boots. General Appearance: Gray has vivid red eyes, a curious genetic mutation in his family, quite high cheekbones and an angular jawline. His nose is of average proportion, as are his eyebrows and mouth, which is usually pulled up in a lopsided smirk. His dark hair is tied back in a ponytail, and falls into a spiky fringe over the right side of his forehead. He's not particularly tall, at 5'9", and has an average build with more of a lean and wiry muscle structure. He can also often be seen sporting a silver chain necklace. A tattoo of circuitry-like lines traces down his right arm to the mid-forearm,over the right shoulder-blade and upper chest. His posture is rather laid-back, coupling his nonchalant nature, quite often with hands in pockets in a relaxed stance. Under normal circumstance, his movement matches his posture, laid-back and casual. In a bad mood, he has a tendency to "storm off" with clenched fists. When being chased by a ravenous dinosaur from Little Garden, he's likely to be moving a little faster. Spoiler: click to toggle The Character Personality: Gray is the sort of person that can make you want to laugh one moment and hit him them next. He's sarcastic, (arguably) sharp of wit, and usually rather nonchalant. While not exactly a "bad guy", Gray is prone to hedonism and moral ambiguity. His lives by the philosophy that life should be a great and fun experience regardless of danger and other such things. As such, being a pirate is akin to his dream occupation; why work legally but limitedly under the law when you can roam free and really live, and just beat the crap out of anyone who opposes it? His views on marines vary; the corrupt ones, in it for power and rank and money, he despises (his logic being that at least as a pirate he's open about his flaws, and he's not betraying anyone if they already expect him to be a c**k). The decent marines, with competence and well-meaning values, Gray is more likely to respect. This wont stop him crossing them though. Gray regards bounty hunters with the same respect as pirates where due, and considers revolutionaries far too political to be of interest to him. He values his nakama and other friends and will protect them as they would him. Gray also enjoys humour of many kinds, women, reading and other escapist hobbies, adventure and takoyaki. In his eyes, the worst crimes are betrayal, incompetence and boredom. As long as he's having fun in what he does, Gray considers himself content in life. Hometown: Sen Bay, North Blue History: Gray was born on a quiet North Sea island into a family that did nothing particularly exciting. They ran an inn by the docks, not a large business but popular enough with the people to bring in what money they needed to live comfortably. Life was easy-going, peaceful and dreadfully boring. One little bit of excitement that Gray was blessed by was on the rare occasion that a pirate crew would dock and stay at the inn. They would tell stories of their travels, and the myths of the seas; in particular, there was a lot of talk about the mysterious Grand Line, where everything was in chaos and nothing seemed normal. Gray dreamed of one day sailing as a pirate and living in such exciting situations. From a young age then, Gray would read about the sea, how to travel and live, maps of the world and their stories. He imagined living a life of chaos, of freedom, the greatest experience. He worked with his parents at the inn, serving food and drinks, and what money he didn't blow on self-indulgence he saved for when he came of age and could leave the island to sail. Gray came across the Koura Koura fruit by mistake. It was received in a fruit and veg delivery for the inn from another island in the North Blue, which Gray picked up in one of his sailing trips. The fruit looked similar to a mangosteen, but with a grey shiny rind laced with burgundy lines. Seeing the bizarre fruit, the tradesman apologised for supplying "bad produce" and offered to throw it. Gray, however, decided it didn't look off at all but rather like some exciting new fruit. Being someone to always indulge in new experiences, and after cutting away the inedible rind he swallowed the blueish inside hole.... and immediately started retching. The tradesman seemed about to help, but after a moment he recoiled as a chitinous material began spreading over Gray's hands. The tradesman left in a hurry and Gray was left with the powers of a Devil fruit and the surrounding sea in an old rickety boat. Several years later, after Gray turned twenty, with the money he saved over the years he bought himself a boat in hopes of sailing the North Blue and eventually the Grand Line, and of living the least boring life he can acquire. Abilities and Possessions Combat: Hand-to-hand "Koura Style". A mixed style of martial arts involving use of the entire body, including fists and arms, feet and legs, and even the head on occasions. Gray trained in martial arts as a hobby in his younger years, and more seriously once acquiring his Fruit powers, adapting his moves to form substantial techniques. He fights in a furious but calculating way, looking for openings and weaknesses in his opponents rather than potentially throwing his life away. Weaponry: None to speak of currently Items: Regular nautical equipment and everyday necessities, (i.e. maps, med-kit, secret adult literature stash, etc.) nothing special to speak of. Beli: 500,000 Upkeep: 0 SD Earned: 0 Stat Points: 32 SD Remaining: 0 Stats:
Techniques Regular Technique Points: 16 Used Regular Technique Points: 11 Special Technique Points: 0 Used Special Technique Points:
Development History Gains/Losses: N/A Edit Log: Spoiler: click to toggle
Edited by Avarice, Mar 14 2013, 07:51 PM.
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![]() Thank you for reminding me of why I am sick inside, Thank you for the venom, did you think it would paralyse? These scars I scratch, I tear, are there Under my skin, where you've always been Thank you for reminding me to sin with a grin | |||||||||||||||||
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| ♠ RainingBlades | Mar 14 2013, 04:08 PM Post #2 | ||||||||||||||||
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Excellent Host
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Italicize professional bonus please This is mentioned in the character sheet (I think), but you can't simply say under Clothing/Accessories "see picture". You actually have to type out everything your character wears. Jacket and chain belong under Clothing/Accessories Could you add a bit more in General Appearance? Like facial features, his posture/how he walks, stuff like that. We should be able to get a clear idea of what the character looks like even without a picture. Could you expand on Personality? Go into detail on some of the things you mentioned, maybe explain why he's a pirate and what he thinks about bounty hunters and marines, etc. Personality is generally three or so paragraphs in case you want a goal to aim for. Combat needs to explain how the character fights. Do they use their fists or perfer to kick their opponents? Do the run in guns blazing and hit everything they see or are they more cautious? Stuff like that You need to copy and paste the traits as shown in the Traits section in the rules, word for word. You also have a professional trait to spend Zoan devil fruits transform you into animals (horse, rabbit, bear, etc.), not allow you to grow shells and shit like that. What you have actually seems more like a Fishman trait than a Devil Fruit. http://s1.zetaboards.com/One_Piece_RP/topic/2849994/1/#new that will show you the proper tech scalling for zoans I'll get into techs later after you clear up this devil fruit stuff |
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Literally Annie The Gang On Hiatus Never Forget thelonelynarrators | |||||||||||||||||
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| Avarice | Mar 14 2013, 07:55 PM Post #3 | ||||||||||||||||
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Newbie
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Sorted it; I hope that's all okay now? I wasn't sure what I'm meant to do with the Professional Trait; I'd assumed I'd spent it on the Stat-altering technique (The Martial Artist professional trait says I get a free Rank4 stat-alt tech, right?) Also, the fruit isn't a Zoan, it's a Paramecia. The carapace is essentially a biological armour grown from the skin as opposed to wearing it like a suit. Hope that makes more sense. No doubt I'll need to change something again, but perhaps it can be narrowed down more now I've updated the points you mentioned |
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![]() Thank you for reminding me of why I am sick inside, Thank you for the venom, did you think it would paralyse? These scars I scratch, I tear, are there Under my skin, where you've always been Thank you for reminding me to sin with a grin | |||||||||||||||||
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| ♥ Emoisum | Mar 17 2013, 07:36 AM Post #4 | ||||||||||||||||
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What.
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You're going to need Admin approval on the fruit, but the likely hood of you being told no is high. Suggested will be gain 50 SD and snag Supa, if available or save up for the Diamond one. PM Glasglowsmiley, Yakasha, Unspeakable and/or Hainen. |
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| Avarice | Mar 18 2013, 08:19 AM Post #5 | ||||||||||||||||
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Why, what's the problem with it? I'll go pm them then... |
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![]() Thank you for reminding me of why I am sick inside, Thank you for the venom, did you think it would paralyse? These scars I scratch, I tear, are there Under my skin, where you've always been Thank you for reminding me to sin with a grin | |||||||||||||||||
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| GlasgowSmiley | Mar 18 2013, 09:06 AM Post #6 | ||||||||||||||||
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♠ Cool Loser ♠
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As is your fruit is themeless and can't pass. It's a powerproducer as we call it and I'm fairly sure people have tried similar concepts with it before on a more successful level. Remember a Mining fruit that was more fitting at least. To not go into explaining things here so deeply I suggest you read this: http://s1.zetaboards.com/One_Piece_RP/topic/4910672/1/ or at least the first post and some pages. That is the standard of devil fruits we expect. You still have an open profession trait to spend. You ahve 3 general traits, that I suggest you re-spend now since the DF doesn't work as is and 1 profession trait. As for your forenote, Paramecia types will never have the stat increases Zoan types have, that's the unique part of Zoans. You also have a broken Bold coding tag at the end of your app somewhere. Edit: Oh and next time, please bother to include a link to your profile or at least the devil fruit description in your pm. Luckily it was easy to find this time but I remember you asking to move this app to complete before (in the cbox) as well and making me guess what your app even was. Edited by GlasgowSmiley, Mar 18 2013, 09:09 AM.
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AngelMayLaugh (6/9/14 8:25:03 PM): ICY BRINGING THE FIRE![]() The Antagonists
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