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| Luther Wilson; [Flagged] | |||||||||||
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| Tweet Topic Started: May 23 2010, 10:39 AM (2,155 Views) | |||||||||||
| Kaji.Dragon.Jones | May 23 2010, 10:39 AM Post #1 | ||||||||||
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Big Time Rookie
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Character Template [-----] Account Name: Kaji.D.Orogan Basic Character Information Name: Luther Wilson Nickname: Age: 27 Gender: male Race: Human Affiliation: Pirate Bounty: 9,250,000 Profession: Inventor. An inventor is a man or woman with knowledge in how various mechanical devices work. They have good insight in how blueprints work, and can upgrade weapons, build explosives and battle engines if they have enough materials. Inventors don’t need to pay upkeep for their gadgets that they use in battle. They will also get a 20% discount on any technological upgrades they make to their own weapons. Bring it up with a moderator when upgrading to see if the discount applies. Secondary Profession: Scientist. A scientist is a different name for those primarily interested in chemistry, the making of explosions and poisons, gas or the like. They get primarily the same basic mathematical skills as the Inventor, and a lot of knowledge about various materials. Position: Captain Physical Appearance Height: 6‘4 Weight: 280LB Hair: bald Eyes: red Clothing/Accessories: A red and black vertically stripped tank top and matching pants are usually enough for Luther, but on occasion he will also sport a black leather jacket. He always wears his dog tags and has four piercing on his left ear. Three on the earlobe and one at the top of the ear. He‘s almost always barefoot but wears sandals to protect his feet when necessary. Luther also keeps his forearms and shins wrapped in medical bandages. General Appearance: Luther is just plain scary. His eyes seem to be always glaring, as if every second he‘s looking at you he‘s trying to decide how many times he‘s going to cut you. He usually looks angry, very rarely softening his expression. His face is the only part of him that isn‘t ridden with scars, and he has the world government symbol tattooed on his chest. Spoiler: click to toggle The Character Personality: Luther is pretty laid back most of the time. He can take verbal abuse of any kind without reacting, though his frightening appearance doesn’t invite people to try it. When provoked physically, however, its hard for him to restrain himself. He‘s a bit of a loner so he‘s not bothered that much with how terrified people get around him, but once you make a friend of him he‘s interminably reliable. He doesn’t kill unless necessary, however if enraged he may decide to take a body part depending on what you did to make him angry, such as cutting off a hand for punching him with no reason. There’s no one he automatically hates, but once your on his bad side there’s no regaining his trust. Luther calculates everything. He’s often manipulative of others, which often makes people withhold their trust. Luther’s one weakness is if you can anger him to a certain point, he may start to lose his concentration. Hometown: Mariejois, Red Line History: Luther was born into the Marine solider program, which is like a military school for marine officer's children. His mother and Father were both high ranking marines who didn't often visit, so Luther didn't know them very well. He never took that much of an interest in fighting, but instead spent most of his time studying the work of the legendary marine scientist Dr. Vegapunk. Fascinated by Vegapunk‘s work, he spent every moment he could honing his engineering skills and even made prototypes of cybernetic enhancements. He was recognized for his skills and made an official Marine scientist. Throughout his teenage years he developed a vast number of cybernetic enhancements, though he couldn't come up with anything groundbreaking, so it was never mass produced. Luther became determined to perfect his cyborg design. He often attempted to recreate Vegapunk's famous laser beams, but he could only ever make powerful flashlights. He experimented on Marine volunteers and made a large number of cyborg, but was never satisfied with the results. A rival scientist accused Luther of stealing Vegapunk's designs and using them to build the prototypes, so that he could take Luther's research lab and funding. He and Luther had been competing for a few years for the position of the governments most hopeful scientist, and He was not above using underhanded tricks to take that status away from Luther. Because Luther's designs were so slimier to Vegapunks early work and the evidence was so hard to disprove, he was demoted until further notice. Once demoted, he no longer has access to the funds necessary to improve his designs. And so to help pay for his equipment and his resources, he began using operating on himself and made himself into a cyborg. With his cyborg abilities he would venture off for months at a time hunting down pirates and turning them in for the reward money to fund his research. Fighting with his own weapons also allowed him to test their effectiveness in battle first hand. During one of his bounty hunting trips Luther met up with the same rival scientist that framed Luther for stealing Vegapunks designs. The scientist Used one of Luther's own cyborg designs on one of his volunteer test subjects, and used him to sink Luther along with his ship. By mere luck, he was rescued by a curious fish man. He temporarily joined the fishman's pirate crew as they traversed the calm belt to get into west blue, and he parted ways with them there. Once safely in west blue, he set up a new base in the mountains and continued his work. Unable to acquire new test subjects, he continued experimenting on himself. Luther’s anger was focused at the government, and so he decided to stop hunting down dangerous pirates. Luther wanted to put an end to the world government, and decided to do it he needed to become a pirate and instead collect powerful pirates and tear down the world government. He believes that fate calls him to be the one to become pirate king and put an end to the age of the world government. Abilities and Possessions Combat: Luther fights with a mixture of Tae Kwon Do and street fighting. Every move Luther makes is planned out, every attack is specially calculated to maximize efficiency. Weaponry: as part of his cyborg enhancements, all his bones but the ones in his legs are plated with iron which makes him much heavier then normal but increase his endurance. Luther's arms have a thin plating of iron on the forearm, with an opening on the back of the wrist just five centimeters behind the wrist. The swords extend from here. Luther's swords are each twenty one inches long, and made of high grade steel. They extend from the mechanism in his arms with five pounds of force. The sword blades are actually two segments that are stored in his forearm and bicep when retracted. They connect into one blade when extended, and are held together by a series of interlocking parts and wires that make them inseparable by blunt force. Breaking the connection is about as easy if not more difficult then breaking the metal itself. Luther has also modified the mechanism that releases and holds the swords in place so that the blades can also extend from his elbow. only ten inches of blade can extend using this method, and Luther must first release the blade through his wrist, and then to his elbow. ![]() Items: Dog tags Beli: 8,640,000 Upkeep: 150,000 SD Earned: 51 Stats:
Arms (1 Trait) - Each arm may conceal one weapon, either a gun or extendable melee weapon of some sort. Cybernetic arms grant +5 Strength. Head (1 Trait) - A cybernetic head's primary functions are protecting the brain and enhancing the senses. Beyond this, those with Cybernetic heads may hear sounds much too quiet or distant for normal humans, and may see further and in lower light than normally possible. A cybernetic head grants +5 accuracy. Torso (1 Trait) - This cybernetic enhancement is primarily protective. It prevents most of the major organs from being damaged, while at the same time providing overall enhanced durability. Additionally, the torso may contain a small compartment where additional fuel, ammunition, equipment, or other items may be stored. A cybernetic torso grants +5 Stamina Mad Scientist (1 Trait) – The epitome of madness. Cackling and gleeful hand-rubbing is a favourite pastime of this character, and every time they finish an experiment, there are obligatory flashes of lightning. The mad scientist has the ability to make one major biological modification to themselves and any NPCs the control. Luther Has metal plated bones Fate of the Swift [1 Traits] - By placing traits in Fated, you lock them until the next time you earn a trait. You may put as many traits as you have into fated. In the meantime, you get a temporary boost of [# of traits in fated, multiplied by 3] to your speed stat.
Techniques Regular Technique Points:40 Used Regular Technique Points: 12 Special Technique Points: Used Special Technique Points:
Development History Gains/Losses: Driftwood- gained 9SD, 2,250,000 , Bounty increased by 5,000,000 on June 6 2010golden egg - gained 9SD, bounty increased by 3,000,000 on august 11, 2010Duel with the devil Gained 11 SD and 2,750,000 OctoberThe Creeper - Gained 19SD and 5,250,000, bounty increased by 1,250,000 180,000 beri subtracted for a weapons upgrade purchase. http://s1.zetaboards.com/One_Piece_RP/topic/4187363/1/ Edit Log: Spoiler: click to toggle Edited by Kaji.Dragon.Jones, Mar 23 2011, 06:55 AM.
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Kaji "Dragon" Jones Kizurra Lovelace Bardock Kresnov Baxcel Reed Silas Mortlock Oriana Arma
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| JOLS | May 24 2010, 11:34 AM Post #2 | ||||||||||
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Forver Owlsa
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Assuming it's approved Official OPRP collectable trading card.
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| Kaji.Dragon.Jones | May 24 2010, 08:52 PM Post #3 | ||||||||||
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Big Time Rookie
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okey then, fixed the coding and all the tiny details. i also took out the rokushiki bits. since he can't start with a laser, there was no longer any reason for him to have stolen Vegapunk's designs. explained his lack of a bounty. I was really disappointed about the whips, but i guess all good things come in time. fuel is alchahol, and the bio mod is his mouth flashlight. the reason he has the mouth flashlight is so it can be upgraded to a full fledged laser eventualy |
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Kaji "Dragon" Jones Kizurra Lovelace Bardock Kresnov Baxcel Reed Silas Mortlock Oriana Arma
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| Versesai | May 27 2010, 03:14 AM Post #4 | ||||||||||
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Cipher Pol 0 Leader
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Copy and past the Cyborg Trait info box, the little text filler you saw above their traits, with your fuel listed there. | ||||||||||
Ovae Sevault Dachrinne • Doctor/Weapon Specialist • This Man's A Doctor • 5,000,000 • SD Earned: 77 • Beli: 16,700,000 • Location: God Only Knows. These Other Inactives
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| Yaksha | May 27 2010, 07:56 AM Post #5 | ||||||||||
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Fairy Killer
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Y'know what? Let's just not kill Tenryubito. You may have avoided a bounty by playing dead, but as soon as they recognize you, shit's gonna fly. Not to mention that there are probably ridiculously good bodyguards protecting them. Just say he killed a rich merchant and a lieutenant or someone came after him, it'd be much neater.
Edited by Yaksha, May 27 2010, 07:56 AM.
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![]() Yaksha (Laneh) • Assassin • Martial Artist • Navigator • Thief • Ragnarok Pirates • Bounty: 75,000,000 • SD Earned: 0/300 • Beli: 35,350,000 • Location: Weatheria Strength: 57------Stamina:50------Speed:75--------Accuracy:60-------Fortune:78 Malikai • Marksman • Smith • Doctor • Scientist • N/A • Threat: 34.5 • SD Earned: 0/177 • Beli: 18,750,000 • Location: Candy Island Strength: 45------Stamina:39------Speed:40--------Accuracy:60-------Fortune:61 Juan • Inventor • Weapon Specialist Bounty: 5,000,000 • SD Earned:0/88 • Beli: 23,350,000 • Location: Strength: 45------Stamina:35------Speed:25--------Accuracy:25-------Fortune:30 Ahriman (Savlin) • Doctor • Scientist • N/A • Threat: 2 • SD Earned: 0/47 • Beli: 8,270,000 • Location: Pharsalus Island Strength: 15------Stamina:13------Speed:19--------Accuracy:25-------Fortune:23 | |||||||||||
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| Kaji.Dragon.Jones | May 27 2010, 01:08 PM Post #6 | ||||||||||
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Big Time Rookie
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there, cyborg trait description is in and i fixed the tenryubito part. if the fix for the tenryubito part isn't enough let me know, but i think this fixes any plot holes without modifying Luther's charecter. | ||||||||||
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Kaji "Dragon" Jones Kizurra Lovelace Bardock Kresnov Baxcel Reed Silas Mortlock Oriana Arma
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| JOLS | May 28 2010, 08:15 PM Post #7 | ||||||||||
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Forver Owlsa
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Assuming it's approved Official OPRP collectable trading card.
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| Kaji.Dragon.Jones | May 29 2010, 05:05 PM Post #8 | ||||||||||
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Big Time Rookie
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i specified that his legs arent plated, fixed the bolding yet again, no more stealing vegapunks designs, crossing the calm belt with a super engine, or doing anything that would get me a bounty wether or not i dies immediatly afterwards. Reza beam is just a flashlight now. i'll just wait for upkeep then. |
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Kaji "Dragon" Jones Kizurra Lovelace Bardock Kresnov Baxcel Reed Silas Mortlock Oriana Arma
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| Yaksha | May 30 2010, 12:20 PM Post #9 | ||||||||||
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Fairy Killer
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I'd think he'd be more angry at that scientist guy than the government, but whatever. Topic is flagged for approval. |
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![]() Yaksha (Laneh) • Assassin • Martial Artist • Navigator • Thief • Ragnarok Pirates • Bounty: 75,000,000 • SD Earned: 0/300 • Beli: 35,350,000 • Location: Weatheria Strength: 57------Stamina:50------Speed:75--------Accuracy:60-------Fortune:78 Malikai • Marksman • Smith • Doctor • Scientist • N/A • Threat: 34.5 • SD Earned: 0/177 • Beli: 18,750,000 • Location: Candy Island Strength: 45------Stamina:39------Speed:40--------Accuracy:60-------Fortune:61 Juan • Inventor • Weapon Specialist Bounty: 5,000,000 • SD Earned:0/88 • Beli: 23,350,000 • Location: Strength: 45------Stamina:35------Speed:25--------Accuracy:25-------Fortune:30 Ahriman (Savlin) • Doctor • Scientist • N/A • Threat: 2 • SD Earned: 0/47 • Beli: 8,270,000 • Location: Pharsalus Island Strength: 15------Stamina:13------Speed:19--------Accuracy:25-------Fortune:23 | |||||||||||
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| Versesai | Jun 2 2010, 02:13 PM Post #10 | ||||||||||
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Cipher Pol 0 Leader
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Your character has been approved. From here on, you can go find some people to RP with, and start getting into some Storylines. Make sure you enter the appropriate information into your signature, the details of which can be found here. |
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Ovae Sevault Dachrinne • Doctor/Weapon Specialist • This Man's A Doctor • 5,000,000 • SD Earned: 77 • Beli: 16,700,000 • Location: God Only Knows. These Other Inactives
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| ♠ Shamma | Jul 9 2010, 08:55 AM Post #11 | ||||||||||
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no fun
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...so, this profile has a few critical things wrong with beyond the 'illegal' edits made. I guess I'll try to cover all the areas in this single post as clearly as possible, then you can make the appropriate adjustments. Understand that the first time this profile was approved, it probably shouldn't have been but things do occasionally slip through the net. Personality The first clash is minor, his Nickname is 'Killing Machine', yet in his Personality its stated that 'He doesn’t kill unless necessary'. Seems a somewhat silly nickname in that sense? Its randomly stated that he automatically hates Tenryubitos, yet through out his history there is no given reason for this specific hatred. History This is where a lot of the problems are... which is pretty bad considering History is one of the two(the other being personality) vital parts of all characters. 1st Paragraph The Marine Soldier Program. I guess its like a Marine orphanage? Anyway, cybernetics. Its cool that Luther looks up to Vegapunk and tries to replicate his work, but for the sake of being a starter character; tone down the cybernetic enhancement prototypes. His work is not going to be anything majorly significant at this stage. All Starter Characters start off as unknown, average no-names. I guess anyone with the capacity to create cyborgs would be made a Marine scientist, that his rank among them was kept ambiguous makes this part fine. Then we shift onto own brand of cyborg. As mentioned, enhancement part of toned down so we can assume this own brand of cybernetics had its own flaws and thus was never an 'improvement' on the usual type(whatever that is ._. ), thus explaining the never went into mass production. What I essentially mean by this is he had his own style of cybernetics but it isn't superior to others as he is, of course, a starter character. 2nd Paragraph I'm going to cover the whole laser aspect in equipment.
That line. Its a vital turning point in his history, but its so vague. Who is this rival scientist? Why does he consider Luther a rival? Do they have history? What did Luther do that was enough to make him accuse him of stealing designs? How were the accusation deemed true enough to warrant demotion?(of course, messing with canon stuff in your history is bad) Why was he demoted rather than expelled and put in prison? How did Luther take all this? So much needs to be explained! I didn't quite get how bounty hunting would regain his position among Marine Scientists, surely a different area of research would be more effective? Could just take the longer way round by saying he put the money earned into his research and just cutting off the 'and also in hopes of regaining his former rank.' part. 3rd Paragraph Having someone in your history steal Vegapunks designs is a no-no. It messes around too much with site canon. There hasn't been a person who could take up Vegapunk's mantle since his death and his designs are only available to the highest of highs among the World Government. Your nameless rival scientist wouldn't be able to steal them... nor would he really bother using Luther's designs if he had Vegapunks, obviously Luther's would be inferior. And then a creation of a generic corrupt marine captain with Vegapunk cyborg tech is an obvious no-no. A better way of dealing with this paragraph would be to cut out the whole rival scientist stealing Vegapunk's designs part. Just stick to him stealing Luther's designs(which aren't amazing because he's a starter character, but maybe the rival scientist is pretty bad at stuff anyway?) and using them against him with a lackey(doesn't really need to be a Marine Captain...). The only other issue with the 3rd Paragraph is the random bounty part, if he was declared non-guilty, why would he get a bounty? You can just get rid of that line. 4th Paragraph I guess a minor breakdown due to events would make sense of his turning on the whole world government if nameless rival scientist claimed the turned on him during their final encounter. Nothing wrong with this paragraph really. Combat
...Just tone down that line so its not screaming puppet mastery. Weaponry The bone plating thing... its part of his own designs right? I think your Mad Scientist trait might be better used to cover the whole reinforced bones thing because... The Lasers. Lasers anything like the ones Vegapunk's pacifistas used aren't going to be available till late Grand Line and that may require actual access to his blueprints to use. Which won't be happening for a long, long time. Personally, I think it was maybe a little cruel that this false hope idea with the flashlight was permitted. A powerful Flashlight would generate maybe 200 degrees tops, ignition of paper alone would be in the 450+ degrees area. Starter characters and any form of lasers just isn't going to work, I'm afraid. It isn't going to work till late Grand Line level either, so just scrapping the whole idea till much, much later would be in your best interests. So, really, two options with your Mad Scientist trait. You can keep the Flashlight lodged in Luther's throat but it will just be a bright light, none of the burning/laser effects. This would mean removing the bone enhancement part from your weaponry section. Or, you could change the Mad Scientist trait to cover his metal bone enhancement to be more durable and require less repairs... whilst removing the whole flashlight in throat thing. --- Read this next part once you've look through/fixed all the problems above. Changes and Techniques Character that are approved aren't meant to be edited at all without posting in the topic for Mod Approval unless its adding your SD, Beli and/or Bounty Changes/Items gained from a Graded SL. When this is done, you add the link to the SL in the Gains/Losses section, with a summary of what you earned next to the link. Then in the Edit Log, you list where you allocated SD/stuff earned from the SL with a date stamp. More detail on this here. I suggest you read it and apply the knowledge now that you're at the stage of making changes! Anyway, moving on to the Techniques. Luther has 10 Fortune, which halved is 5. That means Rank 5 is Luther's max technique rank! Meaning all those techniques above Rank 5 should be removed, they weren't even mod approved anyway~ Moving onto workable techniques with Ranks. Reza Beam, if you got rid of the flashlight, ignore this next part. If you kept it, you could turn the Reza Beam into a debuff technique. Luther would open his mouth and shine the light into his opponents eyes, creating a Accuracy debuff. Then you'd follow the buff/debuff rules in the Technique topic(you would also need to raise the Reza Beam rank to Rank 4!). Axe Cut is fine. Face Smash... I'd raise it to Rank 4 seeing as he's throwing a specific body area into an object. If it was a simply toss, it would be Rank 1. And we're done for now, I apologise for not sorting through this an earlier date. I hope you can understand the reasons for change, but none of them are bad enough to force you to drop the character entirely. Just adapt. |
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Piper • Pirate • Martial Artist/Weapon Specialist • Hot Rockets • Bounty: 343,000,000 • SD Earned: 881 • Beli: 259,500,000 • Location: Raijin Island Jija Juju • Marine • Inventor/Marksman/Scholar/Doctor • Fiore • Rank: Rear Admiral • SD Earned: 579 • Beli: 188,000,000 • Location: Couture Island, Grand Line Other Characters
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| Kaji.Dragon.Jones | Jul 9 2010, 06:13 PM Post #12 | ||||||||||
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Big Time Rookie
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alright, fixed everything you said from the personality, to the nickname, to the history to the techniques and my mad scientist trait. A lot of things had to be changed including a lot of in charecter things i wanted to do with the charecter. I'm not going to continuously complain, but i will say this. i am displeased. regardless, everything should be fixed now. i would like everything looked over to make sure though. i apologise for any inconvineance i caused. |
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Kaji "Dragon" Jones Kizurra Lovelace Bardock Kresnov Baxcel Reed Silas Mortlock Oriana Arma
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| Kaji.Dragon.Jones | Aug 11 2010, 11:16 AM Post #13 | ||||||||||
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Big Time Rookie
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Bounty increased, added 9 SD, added more ranks to existing techniques. subtracted upkeep. | ||||||||||
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Kaji "Dragon" Jones Kizurra Lovelace Bardock Kresnov Baxcel Reed Silas Mortlock Oriana Arma
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| Kaji.Dragon.Jones | Aug 12 2010, 06:21 AM Post #14 | ||||||||||
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Big Time Rookie
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subtracted 1,510,000 for my share of the cost of a new ship. | ||||||||||
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Kaji "Dragon" Jones Kizurra Lovelace Bardock Kresnov Baxcel Reed Silas Mortlock Oriana Arma
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| ♠ Shamma | Aug 12 2010, 06:56 AM Post #15 | ||||||||||
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no fun
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Read, then state what you have done wrong. Incorrect answers will make me frown. |
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Piper • Pirate • Martial Artist/Weapon Specialist • Hot Rockets • Bounty: 343,000,000 • SD Earned: 881 • Beli: 259,500,000 • Location: Raijin Island Jija Juju • Marine • Inventor/Marksman/Scholar/Doctor • Fiore • Rank: Rear Admiral • SD Earned: 579 • Beli: 188,000,000 • Location: Couture Island, Grand Line Other Characters
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, Bounty increased by 5,000,000







1:52 AM Jul 11