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[Finished] Chapter 1: The start of a new journey.; Yay, finally done!
Topic Started: Dec 19 2012, 07:54 PM (196 Views)
PubliChaos
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Just a few minutes ago I finished my character Kuin Dawn's first chapter and I need it graded. It is the first time I've ever created a thread or story line, so I'm hoping I did a good job. Link: http://s1.zetaboards.com/One_Piece_New_Age_RP/topic/5025928/1/#new
Edited by PubliChaos, Dec 19 2012, 08:23 PM.
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Kyto
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Review:

This was quite the short story to be honest. It felt like there was little character development here. It jumps into the action rather quickly and concludes just as fast. I am curious to see what you have planned with these Kull Pirates and who this long time friend is. Next chapter don't be afraid to tell a longer story. Let the story flow naturally and allow Kuin to develop further. I'm interested to see how you plan to evolve him with this fighting style and devil fruit.

Kuin Dawn:
4 Stat Points
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Much thanks and appreciation to those who helped create and flourish the original One Piece Role Playing Game, located here: http://s1.zetaboards.com/One_Piece_RP/index/. It is a fantastic game which, obviously, we have based ours on in the most unobtrusive way possible, with any and all connections and correlations between our sites being nothing more than paid homage and the acceptance of excellent, well-considered ideas. While we here at NA have put a lot of effort into writing up the information for this game, a fair portion of it was borrowed and adapted from the aforementioned game, and so we here can't thank them enough for their hard work, and hope that anyone who ventures into this game checks their's out as well, assuming they have not already. They're a good bunch over there and deserve all the respect in the world for their ventures and creativity.