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| [Finished] Chapter 1: The start of a new journey.; Yay, finally done! | |
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| Tweet Topic Started: Dec 19 2012, 07:54 PM (196 Views) | |
| PubliChaos | Dec 19 2012, 07:54 PM Post #1 |
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Just a few minutes ago I finished my character Kuin Dawn's first chapter and I need it graded. It is the first time I've ever created a thread or story line, so I'm hoping I did a good job. Link: http://s1.zetaboards.com/One_Piece_New_Age_RP/topic/5025928/1/#new
Edited by PubliChaos, Dec 19 2012, 08:23 PM.
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| Kyto | Dec 28 2012, 07:28 PM Post #2 |
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Review: This was quite the short story to be honest. It felt like there was little character development here. It jumps into the action rather quickly and concludes just as fast. I am curious to see what you have planned with these Kull Pirates and who this long time friend is. Next chapter don't be afraid to tell a longer story. Let the story flow naturally and allow Kuin to develop further. I'm interested to see how you plan to evolve him with this fighting style and devil fruit. Kuin Dawn: 4 Stat Points |
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7:19 PM Jul 10
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edge created by tiptopolive of IDS







7:19 PM Jul 10