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The Legend of Sima Yi; Tale of Sima Yi's fight against Orochi
Topic Started: Dec 17 2009, 06:34 PM (313 Views)
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This is the beginning of my 3 chronicle long story. This is the 1st story. Feel free to offer constructive criticism and enjoy my work. And don't worry if your post disrupt the chapter line up, I won't mind. Also, some characters in the following chapters such as Guo Jia and Samurai just pop up so follow the below link to find information and their appearances on them as well.

This be the link to click for character bios and chapter summaries.

Follow this link to the KW version

Follow this link to the FF.net version

NOTE: All version are EXACTLY the same. Not a one is different from the other.

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*** Chapter 1 - Sima Yi's Escape ***

The plan was in motion. He had had enough of Orochi and the mindless fools that follow him like some sort of messiah. And he could no longer see any way to further his own plans within the ranks of a snake. Da Ji and Orochi's army were attacking the coalition forces, Orochi was held up in his castle, and his forces were spread thin. The time was now. Now, on this night, he would leave Orochi for good and return to his home in Wei...


Sima Yi: *riding atop his black steed slowly, as he approaches Masamune*

Masamune: Hm? What's up, Sima Yi?

Sima Yi: I'm heading out to scout the perimeter. I have reason to suspect that an ambush may be in the wake.

Masamune: An ambush? No way! Da Ji's got all four enemy forces under her thumb. There's no way they'd be able to plant an ambush way out here.

Sima Yi: Come now, you really believe that imbecilic fox has all kingdoms occupied? The both of us together have trouble dealing with just one force.

Masamune: Hm... You've got a point. Alright, go on but take a few of our troops. *whistles to a group of Orochi's Cavaliers* If there is an ambush I expect you to take care of it.

Sima Yi: Don't I always? Hiya! *kicks his horse and rides off as the group of snake-men follow after him*

Masamune: Hm... Sima Yi doesn't usually take orders that well...

Sima Yi and the warriors following him went through the trail from the encampment down to the forest below. It was a dark dank forest. Not even the graceful light of the moon could pass through the trees overhead. During the ride to the forest, Sima Yi would look around out through all, making it seem as though he were checking for an ambush. However, what he was actually doing was peeking out of the corner of his eye to see just how many troops were trailing behind him...

Cavalier Commander: Sima Yi! We've gone deep into the forest! If we go much farther we may not be able to make it back.

Sima Yi: *stops his steed as the men following him do the same* ...Who said we were going back?

Cavalier Commander: Wha-what!?

Sima Yi: *quickly jolts his steed around as the strings of his right hand meet with the Commander, killing him instantly* Do it now!

Suddenly, archers appeared from the blackness of the forest. They all fired at once as flame tipped arrows rained down upon Orochi's minions. Not a one survived the first wave of arrows. Sima Yi scoffed as he retracted his strings and the commander's body fell to the ground. The flames from the arrows were now already beginning to spread throughout the forest.

Sima Yi: You did well men. Once the forest is ablaze it will cover our backs for a time. But now we must return to Wei before Masamune catches on to us. Move out! Hiya! *kicks off his horse again and his arches followed*

Yi and his troop moved quickly through the thick forest. He was sure he had plenty of time but he was not so foolish as to dally it away. And besides, he had already memorized this forest, exactly how long it would take to get out of it, and where he'd end up. He also knew that there was a small checkpoint just outside the forest. Once there he would shut the gates, buying him that much more time. Moments later he found the moonlights blissful glow, signaling he was out of the forest. What he saw below the moon however, was not very blissful.

Sima Yi: Date solders!?

Kojuro: Halt, Sima Yi! We have received word to not allow you to pass!

Sima Yi: What? Damn... Masamune must have caught a whiff of what I was planning and sent a ninja troop ahead of me. Which means there's probably an ambush behind me if I try anything... Humph. No matter. I'll simply have to force my way through!

Yi quickly swipes his chain ahead of him, knocking Kojuro off his horse and taking out a couple of Date solders as well. He then dismounted his steed, just in time to see it shot. Musketeers. Two groups of them. On separate watch posts. Great. Yi then took hold of his fan and morphed it into a black shield before turning back to his archers.

Sima Yi: Archers! Stay out of range and watch out for a ninja troop! *turns ahead, and begins to block shoots with his shield* Hold out till I defeat the musketeers!

Yi held his shield high in front of him, blocking every shot as he ran forward and past the downed Date troops. They would mostly just be filled with arrows moments later anyways. He readied his chain in his free hand. If he could time this right, he could eliminate both groups in one fell swoop! ...Hey, that rhymed. :D

Yi just barely peeked out of the side of his shield. The musketeers were circulating rounds. One group fired while the other reloaded. He had to do this while the one he was after was reloading... Now!


Sima Yi: Perfect!

Yi wrapped his chain around the top of watch posts, and using the sheer momentum of the speed he collected to the post, swung himself to the top of the first watch post. He then quickly slew the musketeers with his claws. But before the bodies could even fall, Yi dropped his shield and snatched two muskets from them. In one swift movement he aimed the muskets at the nearby watch post and fired, killing both the musketeers atop it.

Sima Yi: *zips up his fan* Now that was good.

Sima Yi had just flawlessly climbed atop the watch post as the musketeers had finally finished reloading and, just before they had a chance to shoot, killed them. And then, using the now loaded guns, eliminated the remaining group. Oh, how he wished Zhuge Liang had just seen that.

Sima Yi: *jumps down from the watch post* Alright men, let's move out before... *looks to see all his archers lay dead* ...That happens.

Well, this just keeps getting better and better. He at least thought his men could hold off a few messily ninjas Date solders! However, something was odd. No ninjas were in sight, nor Date corpses. Date ninjas weren't that good...

Sima Yi: Hm..? *looks up* Whoa! *quickly jumps back to avoid a chain similar to his own* What was that!?

???: *lands perfectly* My Master orders the death of all whom oppose him.

Sima Yi: Your master, eh? I know you not from within Orochi's ranks... You must be with the coalition! It seems my suspicions of an ambush were correct indeed... Now heed me when I tell you you and I are on the same side.

???: Deceit is for the weak. *readies his kusarigama*

Sima Yi: Ha... Fine. If you will not listen to reason then it appears you must end here. Prepare t--HOLY CRAP!

As suddenly as he arrived, the ninja attacked with it's hand scythe! Lucky for Yi he had managed to morph his fan into a black sword and block the attack just in time. The ninja then disappeared in a dark blue blur only to reappear further off. Yi quickly sent one of his chains his way, only to have it knocked down by his own chain. With a snarl, Yi shot five strings out at the ninja this time.

???: Foolish... *slams fist together as flames devour the strings*

Sima Yi: Argh, what does it take to kill you?!

???: Iga Ninjitsu... *splits into several copies*

Well...that wasn't good. Neither was it when all six ninjas charged him! Sima Yi had to struggle immensely to block and dodge all of the attacks. He didn't even have time to morph his sword back into a shield due to the flurry of scythes, chains, and kicks! Yi, HAD to get this fool off of him!

Suddenly, Yi dropped his blade and released both his chains and did a full 360, swiping every single ninja away from him and then quickly zipping them back. But he didn't stop there. A purple light began to radiate off of his hands as he shot several purple beams of energy at every one of the ninja's duplicates, even shooting a couple of beams at random areas for good measure. And when the dust cleared from the attack, only Yi could be seen standing.


Sima Yi: *panting* Finally... I can get back to--Erk! *eyes widen as he sees the ninja's scythe at his neck*

???: None can stop that which has no form.

Sima Yi: Tenacious little bastard, aren't you?

Was this the end? Was this where the greatest mind in the Three Kingdoms were to meet his death!? Yi could feel the blade about to grind through his skin, as he closed his eyes awaiting his fate...

SMACK!

...Was that is? Was he dead? No there should have been more of a slicing sound if he were. Yi slowly opened one of his eyes, and then the other to see a tall man, standing above the ninja currently on the ground.

Sima Yi: It seems the Heavens still favors my intellect.

Kotaro: Heavens? Ha ha... What fools these mortals be.

Sima Yi: Ha! You call me the fool, but you're the one here to rescue me, are you not?

Kotaro: Humph. I suppose you are not too foolish then. *blocks an attack from the ninja while not even looking* Now let's see if your not too feeble. *blocks another attack from another clone, still not looking*

Sima Yi: Please. *blocks an attack with one of his hands, and counters with a slash to the torso, dispersing one of the clones* I had everything under control even before you got here.

Kotaro: Truly? *knocks back both ninjas blades and blasts them each with a C3 dark ball from his hands, not once taking his eyes off Yi* And did your strategy happen to including the shadow slicing your throat?

Sima Yi: Perhaps. *wraps his chain around Kotaro's neck* Does yours involve your neck being snapped?

Kotaro: Heh heh heh... *grabs the chain and crushes the metal with his bare hand* How interesting. *then immediately goes back to back with Yi as they are surrounded by the ninja's clones* Ha ha ha... *fist shines blue* Come, Hanzo.

As those words left his mouth the 6 Hanzo dashed at the pair like lightning. Yi quickly sidestepped a chain one Hanzo threw and Kotaro grabbed it as it flue underneath his arm, swiftly jerking it forward, sending one of the Hanzo's with it, only to be met with Yi's claws as it dispersed. One down.

Kotaro was now dodging the attacks of three separate Hanzo's all vying for his head. He managed to avoid every single strike and was even able to block a few before he decided to round house kick one away from him, followed by grabbing the 2nd's skull and ramming it into the ground. But he didn't finish there. He then picked him up again and punched him through the gut, forcing him to disperse. Two down.

Sima Yi was now dealing with two Hanzo's, however two was a lot easier than six so he was able to evade every single attack with relative ease. He blocked one scythe with his glove and swiped his foot across the ground, tripping the Hanzo he had just blocked. With the other on the ground, Yi turned to deal with the next Hanzo just in time to catch the chain he had just thrown. He gripped the chain tight and then quickly jolted around, slinging the Hanzo at Kotaro, whom gladly finished him of with a powerful punch dispersing the third Hanzo.

Yi and Kotaro then looked at each other and grinned. In one swift movement Yi ducked as Kotaro jumped and his fist stretched over Yi, smacking down the Hanzo that had just leaped at him from behind. And while Kotaro was in the air Yi slung his chain under him, tripping and knocking over the other Hanzo attacking him. The two then turned around to their respective targets as Yi finished his with a beam and Kotaro finished his with a C1. And there went four and five.

The pair then turned to the other. Yi nodded in approval whereas Kotaro simply "Humph'ed". However, they both knew the battle wasn't over. The Fuma ninja then grabbed Hanzo right as he appeared beside him, holding him in the air by his throat.

Kotaro: I am curious, Sima Yi. What do you say we do with him?

Sima Yi: Ha. Kill him, what do I care? *Kotaro prepares to do so* Or...we could allow him to return to his master.

Kotaro: Humph. *drops Hanzo and crosses his arms*

Sima Yi: *pacing around Hanzo* And he could give a message to his master. If this is the same Hanzo I know of then his master is Ieyasu, correct?

Hanzo: ...

Sima Yi: *stops* Well then you can do me a favor and have him inform Cao Pi that I am returning to Wei. I'd rather not have to fight my way there again. Understand?

Hanzo: ...Acknowledged.

Sima Yi: Good. Now be off.

Hanzo: *disappears*

Kotaro: Hm... I suppose it is better to allow him to go. After all, life just wouldn't be the same without breaking a few of Hanzo's skinny bones every now and then.

Sima Yi: Indeed, it is fun to break things. However, I am not one for such wanton slaughter. And so I ask you, why did you come to aid me, Fuma? From what I saw of you in your time with Orochi, you seem to appreciate such carnage.

Kotaro: Do not confuse my intentions. I simply wish to use you to forward chaos design and no more.

Sima Yi: Humph. I oppose to using rather than being used. But still, I must thank you.

Kotaro: Ha. Thank pandemonium and nothing else. *disappears*

Sima Yi: *retrieves his fan and sheaths it along his waist* Now, my path to Wei is open. *raises his hand to the moon* And with the grace of the moonlight to guide me I shall soon return home.

Fade to black as Yi begins on his path to Wei...

*** End of Chapter 1 ***


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*** Chapter 2 - Sima Yi's Return ***

And here he was. Xu Chang. Sima Yi's journey home was a perilous one, yet he managed to complete it. Yi looked around at the gates of Xu Chang, passing through them for the second time. Even in the blank midnight the city looked impressive. Thankfully, that ninja had done as asked and Yi was met with a guard captain and four of his men as a welcome.


Guard Captain: *bows* Master Sima Yi, it is good to see you return to the home of Wei. I am First Gate Guard Captain Fang.

Sima Yi: Indeed. A pleasure to meet you Fang.

Fang: And you as well. Lord Cao Pi wishes an audience with you right away.

Sima Yi: And so he shall receive one. But before you escort me to him, I know but the bare minimum of Wei's current condition. Mind filling me in?

Fang: Um, very well... As of now, Wei is the strongest force aside from Orochi's. We have a great surplus of men and provisions. We have also gained many capable officers such as Guan Ping, son of the God of War and the Fledgling Phoenix Pang Tong and the ingenious strategist Mitsunari Ishida. And we are beginning to push back the forces of Da Ji rather effectively.

Sima Yi: Hm...I see... Anything else?

In truth, Yi had already know every bit of that. He did his research before he came here. But it didn't hurt to double check now did it?

Fang: Uh... Oh! Our alliance with Princess Tamako has proved most profitable.

Sima Yi: Tamako?

Fang: Why yes. You know, the 12-year-old Princess? The one rumored to have the greatest blacksmiths in all the land. We have offered to protect them from Orochi's forces in exchange for their blacksmiths to work on our weapons. Our blades are amazingly well crafted now.

Sima Yi: Yes, I knew of her. I simply didn't expect Wei to have an alliance with...her.

Fang: Well... *whispers* There have been rumors that she has a crush on General Cao Ren...

Sima Yi: Ah, I see. Well, I believe that's all I need to know for now. Take me to Cao Pi.

Fang nodded and ordered the men under him to stay put. Fang and Yi then made their way to the doors of Xu Chang, admiring the amazingly long hallways around them. Yi saw many soldiers run by on their way there, no doubt tending to their own duties, but he couldn't help but notice a few odd glances at him. Seems he wasn't entirely trusted here yet. Well, not like he can blame them. All the times he gave speeches to himself of taking over Wei, he was actually surprised they didn't behead him on the spot. But with the Orochi threat they know their going to need all the help they can get.

Fang: Lord Cao Pi is just through these doors. *pushes open doors* Lord Cao Pi! Here is Lord Sima Yi, at your request.

Cao Pi: *sitting on throne* Ah, Sima Yi. It's been a while. Come in, and Fang, close the doors.

Fang: *does so and stands by door*

Sima Yi: Yes... Too long, my lord.

Cao Pi: Ha. You don't sound too pleased calling me lord again though. So, Yi... *gets up and walks to Yi* Why are you here?

Sima Yi: I've come to rejoin my old home. Serving that snake serves me no profit but slaying it however would. And besides, I must admit I've missed some of the faces here.

Cao Pi: ...

Sima Yi: ...Okay, so it's no secret I pretty much hate all of you. But rejoining Wei would serve my purposes well.

Cao Pi: Oh? And just why exactly should I welcome you back? You left Wei on your own accords, becoming a mere slave to power!

Sima Yi: It's true, given the circumstances and the extent of my betrayal you'd have been more likely to loop of my head...

Sima Yi: *smirks* But then again, if you weren't going to have me back you'd have never let me step foot in Xu Chang, correct?

Cao Pi: ...Ha ha ha ha! I see none of your wit has left while you were away. Very well. Sima Yi, I hereby reinstate your original status in Wei as Grand Strategist. Fang!

Fang: My lord!

Cao Pi: You will now serve as Sima Yi's personal assistant. You will do anything he orders you to do. I shall have someone else stationed at the gate in your place.

Fang: Yes, my lord!

Cao Pi: Good. Now Yi, you remember your original quarters? Well they are still vacant. Everything you left should still be there. Go, rest up. I heard that your journey home was a harsh one so you'll need it.

Sima Yi: *bows* Thank you, lord Cao Pi.

Cao Pi: Oh, don't thank me. I just want you in top form for our battle with Da Ji tomorrow. And for when you tell me everything you know of Orochi.

Sima Yi: But of course. Come, Fang. Show me to my room.

Fang nodded and opened the door and the two exited the room, reclosing the door as they left. Once he was sure they were out of ear shot Cao Pi's friend, Mitsunari Ishida, appeared from hidden behind the throne.

Mitsunari: That's mighty generous of you, Cao Pi. Giving him such a high rank, pretty much handing him Wei on a silver platter. Are you sure this is wise? Can we really trust him?

Cao Pi: I know Sima Yi and he works best when he has power. We can trust him until this war has ended. After that, I'm sure he will make his move on me. But until then he should prove a most valuable tool. But don't worry, I won't let him forget that you still out rank him.

Mitsunari: *smirk* Now that's what I like to hear.

*** Hallway - Sima Yi and Fang ***

Fang and Sima Yi were making their way down the hallways of the massive castle, Yi still saw the same glares and stares as before. Honestly though, he was exhausted. He had planned on simply going back to his old room, laying down, and going to bed.

???: MASTER SIMA YIIIIIIIII!!!!!!!!!!!

...But that all went to hell when he saw Zhang He.

Sima Yi: Zh-Zhang He!? *is tackled*

Zhang He: *hugging Yi's waist* SIMA YI, I MISSED YOU!!!!!! :'D

Sima Yi: AAHHH! Get it off, get it off me! Fang, help!

Fang: Lord Zhang He! *trying to pull He off but to no avail* Control yourself!

Sima Yi: Get 'em off!!! Jesus, he's like one of those face-huggers from the Alien movies!

Zhang He: SIMA YI, OH WE MUST DANCE TOGETHER!

Sima Yi: Bite me! *chomp* OW!!! ****, I wasn't serious! *hits He's head w/fan* Get the hell off!

AHEM!

All: *stops and looks* WHAT!?

Camera pans up from legs to head to reveal Guo Jia, Sima Yi's friend and ally.

Guo Jia: Zhang He, Zhongda won't be able to dance with you if your squeezing cuts off the circulation to the lower half of his body. Perhaps you should let him go?

(Zhongda is Sima Yi's other name and only Guo Jia refers to him by this. Anyone else who does so is usually met with a laser from Yi.)


Zhang He: *gasp* You're right! *gets off* So sorry Master Sima Yi! *bows*

Sima Yi: Well you damned well should be you flaming imbecile! *shoots He w/laser, sending him halfway down the hall*

Fang: Um, thank you for your assistance Lord Guo Jia. *bows*

Guo Jia: Think nothing of it, soldier. If we let him Zhang He would have literally hugged Zhongda to death.

Sima Yi: Hm? Oh, Jia. That was you. My apologies, I was a bit too enraged to notice you. But as Fang said, thanks for getting that fool off me.

Guo Jia: My pleasure. I am simply glad to see you return to Wei. You seem tired. From what I've been told the way here was quite dangerous. You must be exhausted. Your room is further down the hall, on the left. Sleep, we will catch up tomorrow.

Sima Yi: Yes, thank you. And goodnight, Jia.

Guo Jia: Rest well. *leaves*

Actually, Sima Yi didn't seem tired at all. In fact he looked rather lively. But Guo Jia always had a nack for seeing people beyond their exterior coatings. It was an impressive ability but it always annoyed him that Yi wasn't able to fool him.

Once getting over the nostalgic reminiscence, Yi and his assistant followed Jia's instructions and proceeded down the hall, making sure not to step on the now unconscious Zhang He along the way.

Fang: Here we are. *opens the door*

Sima Yi: *looks inside* It's...surprisingly clean. My bed and furnishings seemed to have remained untouched.

Fang: Yes, we fixed it up for your return.

Sima Yi: I see... Then you have my thanks. Now, remained stationed at the door. No one is to disturb me. I need time to rest.

Fang: Understood!

Sima Yi nodded in approval and headed inside the room, locking the door afterwords. He let out a quick sigh in relief. He managed to take a few steps to his bed before he literally collapsed on top of it. He then shut his eyes and allowed darkness to overtake his sight. For tomorrow he would finally begin his campaign against the Serpent King...

Fade to black as Yi rests upon his bed...

*** End of Chapter 2 ***
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*** Chapter 3 - Battle Against Time ***

BANG!
BANG!
BANG!

Fang:
Lord Sima Yi! You must get up! I let you sleep as long as I could but the preparations for battle are about to begin!

Sima Yi: *opens the door* Let's go then.

Fang: *blinks as Yi walks past* Wow, he got up rather quickly.

Sima Yi: You coming?

Fang: Y-yes, my lord!

*** Strategy Room ***

Sima Yi: *opens the door and steps through* Hm... Many new faces here.

Yi peered around the room, making note of the new additions. Firstly, there was the Shu officers; Guan Ping and Pang Tong. Next he saw a small woman in some rather revealing clothing, particularly around her outer thighs. Didn't know who she was surprisingly. He also saw the Wu veteran Huang Gai and several Wei originals were there as well. The Xiahou brothers, Cao Ren, the two Zhangs, Xu Zhu, Xu Huang, and Guo Jia. And there was of course Cao Pi and Zhen Ji right beside him. And let's not forget his new BFF Mitsunari Ishida. Oh, and Fang of course whom had taken his place at the exit like a good little guard.

Mitsunari: Well now that our favorite egotist is here maybe we can actually do something progressive.

Cao Pi: Yes, well... As you all know we face the fox, Da Ji in this battle. We've been fighting her for a good while now and we are beginning to gain some ground. Da Ji's forces have now begun falling back into the mountains. However, when she gets there she will find the mountains too treacherous to climb. She will be trapped.

Mitsunari: *rolls out a map on the wall* Now as you can see the path to the mountains is a narrow one-way trail with high cliff walls. And the walls are so high there's simply no way that Da Ji could have an ambush prepared above them so we've no need to worry of a fleet of arrows raining down on us. This battle will be a simple straightforward run. Soon we'll have her pinned in and then she'll be ripe for capture. Any questions?

Sima Yi: *raises hand*

Mitsunari: ...Yes?

Sima Yi: Are you an idiot?

Mitsunari: What was that!?

Sima Yi: You honestly think this fight would be that easy? Have you not put into consideration that Da Ji has more forces hidden at the top of the mountain? That she doesn't have traps littered along the trail? And also the fact that Da Ji already knows that path leads to a dead end? A child could have put such thoughts together!

Mitsunari: Why you little..! How would you know--

Cao Pi: Calm yourself, Mitsunari. Sima Yi knows this because of his time with Orochi. Though he presented this information rather arrogantly he's right.

Mitsunari: Humph. Well then oh great Sima Yi, anything else you'd like to share with us?

Sima Yi: Yes. Unless we catch up with Da Ji before sun fall, you're all dead.

Mitsunari: And I'm guessing you know how she plans to do that?

Sima Yi: Indeed. The Soul Cannon, placed on the highest part of the mountain possible. It's an otherworldly device created and filled with the souls of those whose lives have been lost in combat. That cannon has been building up power since the beginning of time. If it fires, well, imagine 20,000-no-a million Lu Bu's vs a kitten.

Zhang He: Poor kitty! D: *is lazor'd*

Cao Ren: Lord Sima Yi, are you quite certain Da Ji has the cannon? From my time under Orochi I had heard of such a weapon before but...to think Da Ji has been able to harness it...

Sima Yi: Oh, trust me, she has it. I had to help her transport the monstrosity. Oh, and I should tell you, it's bigger than this castle.

Huang Gai: But that's impossible! There's simply no way Da Ji could have moved such a thing to the mountains without our knowing!

Sima Yi: She's using magic to cloak it.

Huang Gai: ...Oh, well then there is a way. *sweatdrop*

Sima Yi: Yes... Now, I believe we should discuss how our force is to advance upon the mountain top. Any suggestions?

Guo Jia: Yes, I believe I have a few. Imagine if you were in Da Ji's shoes...er, tights.

...That particular analogy left everyone in the room not named Zhang He with a horrible mental image.

Sima Yi: Um, Jia, maybe skip the analogy...

Guo Jia: ...Yes, I believe that would be best for everyone. I suspect Da Ji will be using a rock slide against us in this battle. Just think, an entire force all lined up on a narrow path with boulders crashing down on them. The results would be disastrous.

Pang Tong: Guo Jia has a point... Huang Gai, would your bombs be able to stop some rather large boulders?

Huang Gai: Yes, my men and I could whip up some extra powerful explosives for a surprise rock slide.

Mitsunari: Then get to it. If what Sima Yi says is true then we can't afford to waste anymore time.

Huang Gai: You got it! They'll be ready in a jippy! *exits*

Xiahou Yuan: ...Who says "jippy" anymore?

Xiahou Dun: *shrug*

Sima Yi: Good, that solves one problem... Now, archers. They would also be perfect against a down hill enemy. Cao Ren, I want you to round up an armor troop for the battle. We'll have them ready to move to the front in a hurry if we happen to see a fleet of arrows about to turn us into Swiss cheese.

Cao Ren: Understood. I'll station them outside of the castle when we're ready.

Mitsunari: While you're at it make sure the men are equipped with spear units. A cavalier charge is always a possibility and I'd rather not like to end up on the end of spear.

Cao Ren: *nods, then exits*

Sima Yi: Alright, I think we've covered just about every plan that one of Da Ji's level could think of. However, some of you will have to be left behind for this battle. And we'll have to choose some capable men to handle the rear guard in case the fox has more forces hidden.

Pang Tong: Hm...I dare say I wouldn't mind taking on the rear guard.

Mitsunari: Good. You're reliable. I won't have to remind you that the rear guard is a forces life line. But then again, so is our home. I shall remain behind to take care of Xu Chang with Cao Pi.

Sima Yi: Excellent. However, you two should have some more officers to cover you. Any takers?

Xu Zhu: Um...me and Xu Huang could stay at the castle and guard the food.

Mitsunari: Sure, just as long as you don't guard it in your stomach.

Xu Huang: And that's while I'll be here too. I won't let him eat up all of our provisions. *whispers to Xu Zhu* I'll sneak you a pork bun.

Xu Zhu: :D

Xiahou Dun: Brother Yuan and I will gladly take the rear guard.

Sima Yi: Very well. Huang Gai and Cao Ren will take to the front with myself--

Mitsunari: Wait, what? You think we're really going to let you have the front charge in the palm of your hand?

Sima Yi: Well...yes.

Mitsunari: Has it not occurred to you that you're still not trusted here? We're not going to let you lead such an important task. Guo Jia should be the one in charge.

Cao Pi: I must agree with Mitsunari on this one, Yi. While I know you would preform well Sima Yi I believe Guo Jia would be a better choice of command for you now. At least until the men, and Mitsunari, come to trust you.

Sima Yi: Humph. Fine. Jia, you take control of this battle. My skills are far too great for this battle anyways.

Guo Jia: Very well. Then as commander, I hereby give control of this battle to Zhongda.

Mitsunari: What!? You can't do that!

Guo Jia: On the contrary, I can. Lord Ishida, can you not see? If we do not allow Lord Zhongda the chance to prove himself no one in our ranks will ever come to trust in him or in his abilities in battle.

Mitsunari: ...I can't argue with that. Alright, Sima. You take the front.

Sima Yi: Thank you...Fengxiao.

(Fengxiao is Guo Jia's other name, though Yi hardly uses it. Unlike our anti-hero, Jia is not as picky about this name and will allow just about anyone to refer to him as so.)

Guo Jia: My pleasure. Now I believe we should have a few more officers to aid in the front. Lord Zhang Liao and Lord Zhang He would be prime choices for this battle. With those two you should be able to clear out Da Ji in no time.

Sima Yi: I believe you are forgetting yourself Jia. Modest as you may appear you know as well as I do you'd be an invaluable asset against such tactics.

Guo Jia: Ha ha ha, very well. I shall also accompany you in the chase for Da Ji.

Mitsunari: Take Lady Nene as well. She and her speed will come in handy for a swift attack.

Nene: And if all of you die horribly I can run back and tell the others before they get torn limb from limb. :D

(Short silence)

Sima Yi: ...I like her. Very well, Nene will come along as well. Now if there's nothing else, let's be going. Every second we waste is a second further away Da Ji is.

Guan Ping: Um...sirs? What about me?

Sima Yi: Yes, what about you?

Guan Ping: What should I do?

Sima Yi: Simple. Get a sharp or blunt object and hit the snake people with it. I figured your father would have already went over this with you.

Guan Ping: Alright, so I should follow you and aid in the front.

Sima Yi: *sarcasim* While I'm sure a kid like you is a mighty and unmatched warrior, we have enough cannonfodder on the front as is. Too many and it could serve to slow us down.

Guan Ping: Hey! I'm not cannonfodder! And I am a mighty warrior! I am the son of Guan Yu!

Sima Yi: I'm sure. And feel free to continue living in your father's shadow. Just do it in the corner so you don't get in the way.

Guan Ping: Y-you little smart-alick!

Sima Yi: What's wrong with being smart?

Cao Pi: Sima Yi! That's quite enough. Just take the boy. He's served with the Demon King before so at least we know he can swing a sword. We can't waste any more time on this.

Sima Yi: Humph. Fine then, he can tag along. Be sure to thank Cao Pi when he tucks you in tonight, boy.

And on that unsettling argument the group of warriors all exited the room, all of which going about their respective duties before the battle started.

*** Path to the Mountains - Main Force ***

The Wei main force was not at the base of the mountain pass, ready to chase after Da Ji. All the important figures were placed atop horses but there weren't enough for the common soldier so they had to reside on foot. Cao Ren's armored unit was at the head of the pack with Huang Gai's bomb troop behind them. The rest behind them were common soldiers. In front of this massive army, from left to right, were Zhang Liao, Zhang He, Huang Gai, Guo Jia, Sima Yi, Cao Ren, Nene, and Guan Ping. These eight warriors would be the spearhead of the attack. Fang was also with the troop, but unlike the common men he was directly behind the officers. He was instructed to guard Sima Yi for this battle and that he would do.

Guo Jia: Zhongda... *taps invisible watch*

Sima Yi: Don't worry, I haven't forgotten. *raises fan* Now men, today is the day we bleed that fox Da Ji dry! Charge!

Yi aimed his fan forward as he finished his statement and charged up the mountain full speed, his officers and troops following. The line of men was long and almost reached the canyon walls but there was still just enough room so that it wasn't shoulder to shoulder. Despite the uphill terrain against them the Wei troops were moving at good speed. It wasn't long until they finally began to see Da Ji in the distance.

Da Ji: He he he, right on time. Now how about...wait a minute, is that Sima Yi with them!? Oh, that traitor! *snaps fingers*

Sima Yi: *eyes widen* Get down!

When Da Ji snapped her fingers neither archers nor boulders appeared. But arbelisk. There were three of them and they had already begun firing rounds! Yi's horse made the mistake of bucking up and letting out a neigh as it's stomach was riddled with arrows, along with all the other horses beside him.

All of the Wei officers were falling off their now dead steeds left and right. Fortunately, it was the horses that were the only thing that saved them from taking their place. Taking advantage of common sense the officers all rushed behind their men as Cao Ren's armored troop moved in front, with Ren at the head.

Cao Ren: Men, keep your shields in front of you and advance slowly against the arbelisk! Let's go!

Zhang Liao: General Cao Ren is doing well leading his men. Sima Yi, should we not follow behind them to keep from harm?

Sima Yi: No. Good thing about arbelisk is that they can only fire in straight directions, unlike we humans. All we have to do is keep our heads down and wait for the sound of breaking wood.

The arrows were nothing against these elite warriors. Cao Ren and his troop were all in a perfect line, completely preventing the arrows from coming through to their allies. Ren was right in the middle as he and his men took single small steps right after the first, slowly progressing to the wooden contraptions until they were within range.

Cao Ren: Break off!

Cao Ren then struck forth with his buckler blade, effectively crushing the middle arbelisk. Upon his order the others in the line then broke free from their shields and began hacking at the remaining two arbelisk, quickly destroying them both. Ren and his troop turned to the remaining allied units and raised their weapons in a cheer.

Wei moral is rising!

Sima Yi: Just as I planned. Now resume the march!

*** Mountain Base - Da Ji ***

Da Ji:
*pant, pant* Close the gates! *pant*

Further up the mountain resided a DW style base constructed of stone, though much larger than your typical base. The base was filled with several of Orochi's troops and a couple of his officers as well. Da Ji had just passed though as she was running, the Wei forces not far behind her. She rushed up to a platform resembling a dueling ring to a sturdy looking man.

Da Ji: Damn... Those arbelisk should have been able to hold them off a lot longer than that. Stupid Zhuge Liang and his defective contraptions...

???: It wasn't Zhuge Liang's failing that caused the arbelisk to fall, but the unforeseen opponent against them.

Da Ji: What, Sima Yi? Sure he talks big but he's not that great. But then again, maybe your right... If so I need to hurry before--

BOOM!!!

Da Ji: ...****.

The doors that Da Ji had ordered closed had now just been blasted open with a set from Huang Gai's explosives. The blast also managed to kill several troops stationed near the gate. Many snake troops were rushing to the now destroyed gate to guard it. Unfortunately for them, the smoke the bomb created left them sightless.

Orochi Peon: Where is the enemy? Their not coming through the--URK!

The peons words were halted as his body was penetrated with several white strings. His allies simply stared in shocks as the strings retracted and his body falling to the earth. His allies were soon to join him as a chain swept across them, taking down an entire row of them. The smoke then cleared as the chain retracted to it's owner, Sima Yi.

Sima Yi: No mercy for the weak. Take them!

Yi crossed his arms and smirked arrogantly as the Wei troops stormed in, cutting down the frightened Orochi troops like shooting fish in a barrel. The several officers around him soon followed to join the fray, hacking and slashing through everything that wasn't human.

???: You should be going. They won't be able to hold this position for long.

Da Ji: So true. As for you, you're staying here like you promised right?

???: *nods*

Da Ji: Good, now remember... *whispers in his ear* Sima Yi was the one who ordered you home erased. Ta-ta for now! *skips away*

???: *growls*

The Wei troops were swarming over the enemy, easily over taking them with such fierce warriors fighting together.

Guo Jia: *casually pimp slaps soldier w/shield* I never would have expected a base such as this so far up the mountain. *cuts down 2 soldiers*

Cao Ren: Indeed. *blocks spear* It appears we underestimated Da Ji this day.

Huang Gai: *uppercuts officers* Ha! Nothing worth worrying about! *chucks handful of bombs*

Though some were less effective than others...

Zhang He: Ugly snake people! Behold ZHANG HE'S SUPER PRETTY BEAUTIFUL GORGEOUS HYPER AWESOME SEXY BUTTERFLY PANDA BOOTY SHAKIN' FIRE--


Zhang Liao: Goddammit, He just stab something already!!

And some were downright scary...

Nene: *mutilating warriors left and right* ALL OF YOU SHALL RECEIVE TEH PUNISHMENT!!! >:D

Guan Ping: O_o

Sima Yi on the other hand wasn't lifting a finger to help in the battle. He was simply walking right across the center of it, Fang right behind him and guarding Yi with his life.

Sima Yi: Ha ha ha ha ha! Everything is going splendidly. I admit this garrison comes as a surprise but it's nothing my brilliance couldn't handle.

Sima Yi was absolutely intoxicated with his own mind at the moment. However he finally decided to step back into reality as he took a few steps onto a platform to find a single, normal, man waiting in front of the exit. Seems he intended on making a last stand for his lady. Yi would make sure to make this one suffer.

Without a word Yi shot out a chain at the warrior. Surprisingly, the warrior knocked it down with one of his two katanas.

Sima Yi: Hm...maybe I can make some sport of this one. Try this!

This time Yi sent forth a beam of energy at the man. However, this seemed even less effective than the first attack as he unsheathed his second sword and used it to cut the beam in half! And to make matters worse the sword he used caused a shockwave to zoom toward Sima Yi! He barely had time to sidestep the counterattack!

Sima Yi: So this is no normal man... You! Just who are you?

???: I don't have a name. I am known only as "the Samurai". And you, Sima Yi, must pay!

Sima Yi: Pay? For what?

Samurai: For the destruction of my home!

The Samurai immediately rushed Yi after this, striking with both his blades with the speed of a lightning bolt. The attacks were so fast Yi didn't even have time to block them! The best he could do is duck and shift his body away from the sharp metal things. He knew he couldn't dodge these blades forever... He had to do something!

And then, suddenly, Yi found an opening. His legs. In one swift movement Yi zipped his chain along the Samurai's feet, tripping him. He was going to follow up with quick laser but he found himself only blasting stone as the Samurai rolled out of the way and jolted to his feet, blades again at the ready. But now Yi could regroup and it was his turn to go on the offensive. He took hold of his fan and morphed it into a black sword and readied for his attack.

At this point neither Yi or the Samurai had realized that Wei had annhilated all of Orochi's troops. They didn't even notice the flock of them all arrayed around the platform, watching the struggle with intent eyes.

Sima swung his chain once more and wrapped it around one of the Samurai's katanas. Now normally this would be a good thing but the Samurai easily found a way to turn this around on our anti-hero. The Samurai jerked his blade back with such force that it caused Sima Yi to fly through the air right at him! The Samurai was about to hack him in half with his secondary sword, but thankfully Yi was able to block it with his own sword. The two were now in a fierce deadlock.


Sima Yi: So, I destroyed your home did I? Well you'd best get over it... *releases his chain* Soon! *blasts Samurai w/laser, sending him back a ways*

Samurai: Get over it? You burnt my home to the ground!

Sima Yi: People die in war. This is the way of things. Acknowledge this or cease to be!

Samurai: How can you speak of lives like their so expendable!?

Sima Yi: Because they are. For the greater goal any life is expendable.

Samurai: And what greater good could be made from so many deaths?

Sima Yi: Peace, obviously. But don't worry, in a matter of moments you'll have more than enough of that!

No longer allowing words, Yi let out more of his strings and sent then straight toward the Samurai. The Samurai was able to stop a few of them with his swords but many of them got through, sticking in his arms and legs. Now Yi had him. The Samurai was unable to move. Time to end this. Yi brought up his free hand and shot one final beam at the warrior, nailing him in his torso. The attack was so strong it knocked the strings out of his body and sent him flying into the wall. He then fell to the ground, motionless.

Yi stared at him for a moment. A long moment actually. No one said at word during this time, just silence.


Sima Yi: Idiot. Preaching about lives while his interference may have cost the deaths of thousands. Everyone! Were going back after Da Ji! We can't let her get any farther!

Sima Yi and his army quickly ran out of the garrison. However, one man didn't. Guo Jia. He walked over to the Samurai's body and reached into his robe, pulling out an elixir. He placed it next to the Samurai. He wasn't dead, and that liquid would restore him.

Guo Jia: Stay well, young warrior. Weather you know it or not, you have a powerful being watching over you. She wishes you well on your journey and ask that you replenish your strength. You are needed for many battles ahead.

Jia then turned around ready to follow the remaining army out of the gate...but it suddenly closed shut!

Guo Jia: And perhaps maybe this one as well...

Wei moral is dropping!

*** Outside the Gate ***

Sima Yi: What just happened!? Who closed the gate!?

Huang Gai: No one did my lord! Certainly not I!

Nene: This smells of naughty trickery!

Guan Ping: Um, Sima Yi...

Sima Yi: Curses! I only see the four of us so were too few to continue without them... Huang Gai, how much more explosives do you have?

Huang Gai: Enough to blast down the door. Enough to blast down the door and stop a rock slide, not so much.

Nene: Maybe I can do some ninjitsu and make the door open?

Guan Ping: Sima Yi, this really can't wait!

Sima Yi: Alright, Nene get started on it just make sure it works!

Huang Gai: Don't worry, I've seen her in action. She'll get it done.

Nene: Ryn, Byo, Tou...

Guan Ping: SIMA YI!!!

Sima Yi: WHAT!?

Guan Ping: There's a boulder coming toward us. -_-

Nene: Sha, Kai-wait, what?

Sima Yi: Curses...

At this point the three "mighty warriors" around Yi were panicing. A gigantic boulder was about to crush them all and they had nowhere to run! Sima Yi had to think of something quick, for the boulder came closer and closer with each passing second... Suddenly, he had an idea. He looked to the gate, then the boulder, and then the two cliff walls over head. A branch was sticking out of one. It didn't look too strong but it didn't have to hold for long. It would do.

Sima Yi: Yes...if it works we can hit two birds with one stone... Nene! Teleport past to the others and tell everyone to back away from the gate!

Nene: Actually I don't teleport I just--

Sima Yi: NENE!

Nene: Yes sir! *poof*

Sima Yi: You two, grab onto me!

Guan Ping: What?

Sima Yi: DO IT!

The two warriors did so and grabbed onto Yi's waist just as he began to zip up to the branch above them with his chain. Once he was certain he had gained enough distance Yi looked down to see if his plan had worked. The boulder past underneath them harmlessly and as it did so, busted through the gate door! The Wei troops had moved quick so not a one was even grazed. Showing off a smirk, Yi slide down in front of the base to be greeted by Nene and Guo Jia as the two let go of him.

Wei moral is rising!


Guo Jia: Excellently done.

Nene: Yeah! I thought you were all gonna get flattened out there. Nice one.

Sima Yi: Yes, yes, you can all admire my brilliance later. But right now we have to stop that cannon. All forces! Forward!

And thus the march continued. It was simply amazing at how fast the Wei forces reassembled and even more so at the speed they were charging. But with how well the battle was going moral was high and you could tell the men were beginning to become accustom to Sima Yi, and also learning that all his boasting comes well earned. It seemed Da Ji had planned on the boulder to take care of the Wei then and there as there wasn't even a simple cavalry ambush after this. It wasn't long until Yi and his men finally reached the top. What they didn't expect however, was the massive amounts of troops Da Ji had stationed here...

Da Ji: Oh, look. If it isn't Sima Yi and his band of merry men. Come to get blown to bits? See this cannon behind me? It's about to turn you and your home to dust. Hehehehe...

Sima Yi: Well then it looks like we should skip the name calling and get straight to the blood. ATTAAAAAACK!!!

And with that the entire attack force charged as the officers tore through the reptilian army. 8 mighty warriors, each one worth a thousand troops and then some all against the same enemy. Truly a sight to behold. Orochi's forces were actually doing quite well at the beginning of the battle. But their moral quickly began to drop as another wave of Wei troops past over the mountain trail. And then another. And then another... And soon only Da Ji and a handful of troops remained on her side. Sima Yi moved in on Da Ji as his forces began to finish up the remainder.

Da Ji: Hey! Th-that's not fair! You can't have all these troops after I squashed so many!

Sima Yi:
Ha ha ha! Foolish vixen! You should have thought of everything, like I did. But I suppose not everyone can be as great as I. A tragedy really. Now prepare to die!

While Yi was chatting with Da Ji he had actually morphed his fan into a sword and swung at the fox, almost cleaving her in two if she hadn't had jumped back in time. Her ears were now twitching with irritation.

Da Ji: Why you little..! I'll show you just how great I am! With my BALLS!

Sima Yi: ......Pfft-AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! Did you, did you just-HAHA-say-HAHAHAHA!!! You-you said-HAHAHA!

Da Ji: *blushing* Just-just shut up and die!

Da Ji threw her orbs at the strategist that was quite literally rolling on the ground laughing. By some chance in hell he managed to avoid both orbs while he was rolling.


Sima Yi: Hehehehe, BALLS! HAHAHAHA!!! Oh my God, that was funny! XD

Da Ji: Grr... Just die, dammit! DIEDIEDIEDIEDIEDIEDIEDIEDIE!!!

In a fit of rage Da Ji leaped into the air and began bombarding Sima Yi with a barrage of fire balls, Musou style, each one creating a cloud of dust with the cloud growing larger and larger with every strike. By the time Da Ji was done Yi couldn't even be found amidst all the dust. However such a release had left Da Ji panting quite hard, showing her exhaustion.

Da Ji: How...was that, huh?

Sima Yi: Pathetic.

Da Ji: What the-!?

Through the dust clouds below a chain could be seen zooming out of it and wrapping around Da Ji's ankle. She was pulled down into the cloud and was then met face first with the shield Yi had used to block her assault. The force of the blow was so strong Da Ji actually did a flip in the air before landing flat on her already bruised face. Yi morphed his fan, the dust cleared, and then his sword could be found right at Da Ji's neck.

Sima Yi: It seems you don't fully understand the situation, Da Ji. I am superior, you are weak. I no longer serve the Serphent. And now I no longer have hide my true abilities.

Da Ji: Hehehe, oh you're good, I'll give you that much. But you're not better than me. You want proof? You'll have it in about five minutes when that cannon turns you to dust!

And it was with these words and an ear grinding giggle that Da Ji disappeared to return to her king...


Sima Yi: ...Wait, if Da Ji could teleport why the hell did we have to chase her? She could have easily teleported here and just killed us all far ahead of time.

Zhang He: Plot device?

Sima Yi: ...A what?

Zhang He: You know, a plot device. Basically some sort of BS that makes little to no sense included simply for the sake of the story progression.

Sima Yi: Hm...for some reason when I hear that word I have the uncontrollable urge to attack something...

Zhang He: Nonsense, it's a totally natural thing in a story needed for-*is lazor'd*

Zhang Liao: Master Sima Yi, I believe we have more important matters to deal with..?

Yi looked to what Zhang Liao was mentioning. The sound of the colossal cannon charging could be heard. Da Ji was correct. The cannon was indeed about to fire! The men were panicing, and running around frantically. For an army that was ready to fight demons a few minutes ago this really didn't look too good... As far as he new there wasn't anything they could do to stop the cannon. This looked like the end...

Sima Yi: No... The Heavens have not abandond me yet! Jia!

Guo Jia: Yes, Zhongda?

Sima Yi: Get the troops to calm down and have them assemble by the cannon! And hurry! We've only got a few minutes left!

Guo Jia nodded, and together with the other officers the men were back in shape within a matter of seconds, not even a full minute. Sima Yi stood ahead of his force right beside the cannon.

Sima Yi: Alright, everyone! I need you to get beside the cannon and with all your might, turn it! I know it looks like it weighs over a hundred tons and it most likely does! But if we all work together and use all our might I know we can do it! Remember, if we don't do this your friends, your family, your home, and your own life will all be turned to ash! Now come on! We're turning this cannon east, to the ocean!

Sima Yi was the first to act on this. He brought out both his chains and hooked them around the cannon's side and began tugging back at it with all his might. The officers under his command were the next to act, even Fang followed in suit. And finally the peons, captains, and sargents alike all swarmed to it. They pushed and pulled as hard as they could. Everyone was doing their part, Nene even split into three clones but it wasn't enough...

Sima Yi: Heave, men! Do you really intend to die here!? Heave with-agh!!

Thanks to cruel fate Yi's right hand chain had snapped as he was trying to encourage his men. However the chain didn't fall to the ground. Instead a man caught it. No, a Samurai.

Sima Yi: You!? How did-?

Samurai: C'mon, I thought you were too smart to die in a place like this. Now pull, Sima Yi!

And now with the Samurai's unexpected help, the Wei warriors heaved as hard as they could and then even harder than that. And then, finally, they felt the cannon move! Finally! The entire army took a step forward heaving the cannon little by little! They were doing good but they still needed a little bit more...

Ryn, Byo, Tou, Sha, Kai, Jin, Retsu, Zai, Zen...

There! That did it! The cannon was now in perfect position and aimed directly at the ocean! Just in time too, as you could hear the cannon about to fire.

Sima Yi: Everybody back away from the cannon now!

BOOM!!!

Guan Ping: We...we actually...did it. *falls over*

And that was it. The Soul Cannon had finally fired and thanks to the efforts of Sima Yi and the men of Wei it's unforetold destruction was prevented. Well, except for the fish. Their all dead. Everyone was exhausted now. Nene collapsed atop her own clones, Guo Jia was leaning against a nearby tree, and anybody with a spear was currently using it for support. However, they did must up the strength for one thing.

Three cheers for victory! Three cheers for Lord Sima Yi!

Hei, hei, HOOOOO!

Hei, hei, HOOOOO!

Hei, hei, HOOOOO!


Kotaro: Yes...congratulations, Sima Yi. You did quite well. But next time, chaos won't be here to save you. But to destroy you. *disappears*

Cao Ren: You know, in hindsight, it might have been better to turn the cannon towards Koshi Castle instead.

Sima Yi: ...**** you, Cao Ren.

*** Xu Chang - Cao Pi & Mitsunari ***

Cao Pi: Mitsunari, look.

Mitsunari: Hm? What is that? It's like a shooting star falling down to the ocean... It's the shell from the Soul Cannon isn't it?

Cao Pi: Indeed. It seems Sima Yi was right all along. Perhaps you were a little too hard on him?

Mitsunari: Perhaps. If so then I suppose I should make it up to him. I'm thinking, a celebration?

Fade to black as Cao Pi nods and the pair exit to make preparations...

*** End of Chapter 3 ***
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*** Chapter 4 - The Celebration ***

The Wei army was taking a moment to rest, having just barely avoided a catastrophic death. The officers and soldiers alike were now finally beginning to regain their strength as Yi directed them to fall in line. And past the fearsome force, a Samurai could be seen approaching the Wei strategist Guo Jia.

Samurai: Guo Jia. I should thank you for the elixir...but...

Guo Jia: You want to know what I meant before? Don't worry Samurai. All shall be reveled later.

Samurai: But...who is watching over me? Who is "she"?

Guo Jia: She watches over me as well. Truly we are two lucky individuals.

Samurai: ...You're not going to answer me are you?

Guo Jia: No. Now leave this place Samurai. You have your own path to follow and it is not here.

Samurai: Hm... Very well. I look forward to meeting this "she".

Jia watched as the Samurai headed down the mountain path. They would meet again, he was sure of it. So was "she". But now he turned to Yi. It was their time to go as well.
The Wei army took a long while to rest and gather their strength for the march back to Xu Chang. Thankfully, the march home seemed to go by much quicker and it was certainly more easier. During the march Sima Yi noticed a kind of...tension was lifted from this victory. It now longer felt like he was fighting with strangers. It now felt...like home. That is, until Yi actually got home and found Mitsunari and Cao Pi awaiting him...with this.

Sima Yi: *blink, blink*

What was before Yi was not the solid concrete of Xu Chang but...streamers. A lot of them. A damn lot. Blue and white ones stretching all the way to the castle beyond the gate he was under. There were also a ton of men screaming cries of joy and victory. And at the very top of the opened gate doors was a blue banner stating "CONGRATULATIONS, SIMA YI!" in big bold letters with a crudely drawn chibi Sima Yi jumping in joy. All of this, just for him.

Sima Yi: ...What the hell is this?

Cao Pi: You don't like it? I didn't think you would. But the men do. Now come. We have food inside the--*is trampled by 8 officers + Fang*

Mitsunari: ...You alright?

Cao Pi: Yes...just, a couple of broken bones.

Mitsunari: If it's any consolation the footprints match your hair.

Cao Pi: **** you, Mitsunari.

*** Inside Xu Chang Castle Dinning Hall ***

For these warriors the real party had only just now started as they dug into their respective plate fulls of various dishes. Especially Xu Zhu who probably had three of everything. The nine officers, Fang, Mitsunari, and Cao Pi were all arrayed along a particularly long table enjoying their food and the company of others. From left to right the warriors were placed as this;

Cao Pi at the end of the table followed by Sima Yi, Guo Jia, Fang, Zhang He, Cao Ren, Xu Zhu at the other end and looping around to Huang Gai, Zhang Liao, Guan Ping, Nene, Mitsunari, and finally returning to Cao Pi. With all these guess to serve the cooks and waitresses were literally running across the dinning hall as the plates piled up...


Sima Yi: Serving wretch! More rice balls!

Guo Jia: Some more wine too if you would...

Nene: I demand more sushi! Sushi, sushi, sushi!

Xu Zhu: Baozi please!

Huang Gai: You've had enough as it is! Oh, but get the baozi anyways I'm still rather hungry.

Cao Ren: Make that two servings of baozi please.

Needless to say, the waitress eventually passed out from exhaustion...

After several plates, two more waitresses, and seven more cooks, the warriors had finally had their fill. Cao Pi had dismissed dinner and given the warriors time to mingle and celebrate further as the troops did so down in the barracks as well. He also had Xu Zhu help the cooks clean since he eat most of the food. The warriors were now walking around the castle, engaging in their own conversations and activities.


Sima Yi: Jia.

Guo Jia: Yes, Zhongda?

Sima Yi: I've been meaning to ask you, your weapon... The rapier and shield. I've never seen you wield those before.

Guo Jia: Yes well, let's just say ambushes can be a troublesome thing when on the receiving end. There was an incident during this with a rather sharp piece of metal nearly spilling my brain open and it was then I decided a shield might not be such a bad thing apposed to a simple blade.

Sima Yi: Really? You fell into an ambush? I thought you better than that.

Guo Jia: In my defense I was up against your rival.

Sima Yi: Ha ha ha. So even the great Fengxiao cannot surpass the wiles of Zhuge Liang! I however would not have fallen for such tricks.

Guo Jia: Indeed. So the statue at the Wu Zhang Plains, that was just a fluke?

Sima Yi: Ha ha ha! I can predict the living, but not the dead!

Guo Jia: So I've heard. ...I wish I had been there for such a great battle.

(Silence)

Guo Jia: Lord Sima Yi, I am grateful to able to fight along side you. *holds up arm*

Sima Yi: *rolls eyes* Humph. Indeed. *crosses arms with Jia, forming a X* Imbecile...

Meanwhile...

Zhang He: Lord Cao Pi, I must say you've done wonderfully with the decorations. Although, the streamers are a bit...um...everywhere.

Cao Pi: Yes, I had Xu Zhu in charge of the decorations. I had intended this to be a punishment but I think he actually enjoyed it...

Zhang He: A punishment? Whatever for?

Cao Pi: I put him in charge of guarding the food. Worst mistake of my life.

Zhang He: But I thought General Xu Huang was going to stop him from eating?

Cao Pi: He tried. But when Xu Zhu wants food he's like the Hulk. He actually broke Xu Huang's ribs and fractured his skull just to get a pork bun.

Zhang He: O_O

Cao Pi: My thoughts exactly. Wait, is that Guan Ping heading over to Sima Yi?

Zhang He: Why yes, I believe it is.

Cao Pi: Oh dear, that's a blood bath waiting to happen...

Back to Yi...

Guan Ping: Lord Sima Yi.

Sima Yi: Hm? Oh, it's you. ...What?

Guan Ping: I wanted to say thank you on behalf of Huang Gai and myself. For saving us in the battle...

Sima Yi: Thanks accepted. Now I'm sure you have someone else to bother so you'd best get to it.

Guan Ping: Hey! I'm trying to say thanks, you jerk! You don't have to be such an ***!

Sima Yi: But if I'm not then how else can I get you to leave me alone?

Guan Ping: Y-you! Urgh! Forget it! *stomps off*

Sima Yi: Humph. Filthy brat. Someone ought to-

SMACK!!!

Sima Yi: OW!!! Jesus Christ, did you-did you just spank me!?

Nene: Yes I did! You are being way too hard on poor Guan Ping! Now either you change your attitude around him or next time I'll bend you over my knees and give you a real spanking! >:O Paddle and all!

Sima Yi: ...Yes ma'am. ...You know, that should really bother me more than it does...

Nene: Good! Now don't let me catch you acting like that again! *rushes after Ping*

Sima Yi: *scoff* Can you believe that vixen?

Guo Jia: She does have a point. You are being too hard on him. What is it you have against him so?

Sima Yi: What don't I have against the boy? He was part of Shu, one of Guan Yu's sons no less! And he's done absolutely nothing to prove why he should be given the rank of officer, especially a Wei officer! The most he's done is swing a sword.

Guo Jia: Hm...I see.

Sima Yi: Oh, I know that look. You're going to do something I won't like, aren't you?

Guo Jia: Ha ha. No, no...well...yes. But not at the moment. I'm feeling rather tired. I believe I will retire for the night. Good night, Zhongda.

Sima Yi: Bah, very well. I should check on the others anyways. Good night. *bows*

Guo Jia: *bows, then retires*

The night continued on as the warriors returned to their minglement. Nene was eventually able to talk Guan Ping out of his childish rage and sent him to bed. Soon after the others thought it was time to rest as well and began pouring out of the room until all that remain was Sima Yi, Zhang He, Mitsunari, and Cao Pi. As Mitsunari then saw the young Cao off he turned to Sima Yi.

Mitsunari: Ah, Sima Yi. A moment, if you would.

Sima Yi: Hm, yes?

Mitsunari: I thought it would be appropriate if I gave you a former apology. For mistrusting you. I'd like you to know that you have my full support in the time to come.

Sima Yi: Is that so? I suppose I should be grateful. You are my superior after all. *bows*

Mitsunari: *returns the bow, and finishes with a nod before retiring*

Sima Yi: Humph.

Sima Yi then decided it was time to head for his own bed and he began to proceed through the hallways, Zhang He close behind him.

Zhang He: Well that was absolutely wonderful! I'm happy to see Mitsunari trusts you now.

Sima Yi: What, are you blind? He wouldn't trust me to watch his monkey.

Zhang He: Really? Are you sur--

Sima Yi: Yes. Now, can you find your way to your room on your own or do you need me to hold your hand the way there.

Zhang He: ...Well actu--

Sima Yi: That was rhetorical.

Zhang He: Fine... >:(

Yi made a smuggish scoff as Zhang left for his own bed, leaving Yi all alone as he transcends the hallways to his room. Xu Chang may not have been the highest castle but it was certainly the widest. On his walk Yi began to really think about the situation. He left Wei to die, fought against them, and then returned like nothing had happened. And with all these new faces it almost seemed like an entirely different Wei. And to think; it really wasn't that long ago that he was sending an army on Wei's He Fei encampment...

*** Flashback - He Fei Cliffside ***

The sound of clashing metal could be heard all around. People dieing, limbs flying... Orochi's forces were waging a fierce battle against a Wei-Shu Coalition, and the battle wasn't going well for either side. Orochi's numbers and power would progress them further in, but precises and swift ambushes would only cause them to regain it back as the process was repeated on several points of the battle field. It was then that the command, Masamune Date, called in for support.

Sima Yi: Just look at this... All we're doing is wasting our resources...

Zhuge Liang: However, now that we have arrived the enemies defenses will falter by dawn.

Sima Yi: I still don't see why Da Ji ordered both of us here. I only would have sufficed. I suppose she's using this battle to see if we'd have the guts to fight our own men.

Zhuge Liang: Look at it this way; this could be your chance to upstage me.

Sima Yi: Good point. So should you start or I?

Zhuge Liang: I would be more than happy to do the honors.

Upon uttering this the strategist waved his fan, giving a signal. This signal, however, caused something truly shocking. Cliffs from above the enemy outpost erupted in a blaze of fire and explosions, causing the very earth crumple and succeeding in both destroying the enemies elevated cover and causing a rain of rock upon the enemy base below. Even Sima Yi had to admit that was an ingenious move. Of course he would never actually let those words escape his lips.

Zhuge Liang: Ninjas. Marvelously useful. They can get just about anywhere.

Sima Yi: Tch... Just wait. Remember, you don't have kill everything in sight to win a battle.

Messenger: Lord Sima Yi! Your covert troop is under heavy fire by enemy archers! They cannot progress to the main camp!

Zhuge Liang: Must be Shu's archers.

Sima Yi: What!? How do you know!?

Zhuge Liang: Wei's are all dead.

Liang then pointed down the cliff side Wei's watchpost...currently in flames. This of course warranted a snarl from Yi.

Sima Yi: Just send a freakin' assault force to take them out!

Zhuge Liang: Messenger, go and send some of the men in Keiji's unit to deal with the archers. Then have the reserve forces to reinforce the front line until the covert troop has taken the main camp...or supply base, Yi still hasn't told me where they were headed.

Sima Yi: ...Main camp.

Zhuge Liang: Excellent choice. Make it so, Messenger.

The Messenger did as he was told. Upon this Sima Yi's sneak attack left the enemies front in ruins as Date forces punched through them, Keiji at the head. The main camp was taken and the remaining Wei-Shu forces retreated. Sima Yi still refuses to admit he was outshone on that day...

End Flashback

Fading back into reality, Sima Yi now found himself at his door. Upon further inspection he saw Fang stationed before him...asleep on the floor. With a chuckle he opened his door and went inside. Fang would be allowed to rest this night, he didn't expect anyone to bother him tonight anyways. Yi then found himself back in the comfort of his bed. After all, even a genious needs his shut eye...

Fade to black, as Yi sleeps the night away...

*** End of Chapter 4 ***

-------------------------------------------------------------------

*** Chapter 5 - Underground Raid ***

It was nearly dusk. The sun was just about to disappear into the night sky, and somewhere, underneath the very earth was a powerful reptilian force. It was one of Orochi's underground POW camp, and by the time of sun set an event is to take place...

Orochi Peon: Hey, have you heard!? There's gonna be an execution today at sunset, in the gallery! Some snot-nosed girl.

Orochi Sargent: Really? Let's go check it out! I wanna see her get gutted...

Orochi Peon: ...You know, for a human, you're pretty ****in' freaky.

Unfortunately for these poor saps, they had no idea of the man just a few feet behind them. He had managed to catch their little conversation and wasn't too happy with it. He gripped one of his dual Katanas and rushed them. Their bodies were on the floor before they even had a chance to raise their blades. The man before them raised his sword and slinged off the blood stains and slowly sheathed it.

Samurai: I have to hurry...

*** Underground Base - Gallery ***

The gallery was full of men. Mostly snake men, but men nonetheless. And at the very back on a stand there was a young adolescent girl, head bound in a guillotine. Accompanying her was a incredibly large man, bigger than two of a normal man. He was shirtless and in a black executioner hood, right next to the lever that would seal her fate. Next to that was an Orochi generic officer.

Orochi Officer: This foolish child is to be the sacrifice to our master Orochi! Because of the foolishness of a mortal man she shall have her head drovin from her neck and her remains boiled! Now, executioner, pu--AH!!!

The officer's arms began to spasm as his eyes caught sight of his chest now sporting a large hole where his lungs should be, purple smoke rising from the wound even as he fell to the floor like a twitching ragdoll.

Sima Yi: Sorry, hearing you reptilian simpletons ramble about how great Orochi is really get's old after a while. Now, I don't suppose you lot know where to find your prisoners, do you?

Yup, Yi's here too. He could be seen at the very entrance of the Gallery, accompanied by his signature smirk at the tail of the mass gathered before him.

Random Peon: I-intruder! Kill him!

Needless to say, they rushed him.

As if on instinct Yi withdrew his chains, swiping down wave after wave of enemies. If this was anyone else they would have checked to see if the girl was okay. But this is Sima Yi, so she could be dead for all he knows. He wasn't really worried about it. That is, until he noticed the executioner charging him at full speed, bashing through piles of his own men just to get to Yi


Sima Yi: This could be a terrible bother...

Just before the giant man got in range of Yi he reviled his weapon, an axe taller than Zhang He, and raised it up high before slamming it down at him. Luckily he was able to dodge the attack and watched in mild amazement as the resulting shockwave blew away several more peons.

Sima Yi: Such a terrible bother...

It's times like these our anti-hero begins to wonder just how the hell he ended up in this predicament.

???: Don't worry, Sima Yi! We got your back!

Yi looked around to see the face that came with the voice. Nene, blades at the ready to his right. And to his left, Guan Ping, his Young Dragon blade raised for battle.

Sima Yi: Oh, right. That's how...

*** Flashback - Xu Chang ***

Sima Yi: You wanted an audience, my lord?

Cao Pi: Yes. I was very pleased with how excellently you fared in the last battle.

Sima Yi: Except?

Cao Pi: Except you've still got something I may want even more than expertise in battle. Information.

Sima Yi: Ah, you want to know some of the secrets of the Serpent King I managed to dig up.

Cao Pi: Precisely.

Sima Yi: Hm... One thing does spring to mind. Not far from here, to the south-east, there is a base in Orochi's control. Prisoners Of War base. How many are imprisoned I can't say but it's over a hundred at the very least.

Cao Pi: Truly? My spies have reported of no such thing.

Sima Yi: That's to be expected. The base is buried underground. However, I have personally been to this base. There are two points leading inside. One in a cave, surrounded by guards and another hidden underneath a statue of a snake. Otherwise known as the "secret backdoor".

Cao Pi: Very well then. We march as soon as we're ready. I believe you should lead in this battle as well. Someone has to show them the way, after all.

Sima Yi: *unenthusiastically* As you wish.

Cao Pi: Good. Now, which generals should we send with you?

Guo Jia: Pardon me, my lord, but I may have a suggestion...

*** End Flashback ***

Sima Yi: Why Jia would have suggested these two I'll never understand... But he did say he was going to do something I wouldn't like. I had no idea just how much I didn't like it...

Sima Yi: Do what you want.

Yi immediately moved in to attack the executioner. And it's a good thing that he decided to get out his shield because if he didn't use it to block the horizontal sweep the executioner gave him, he'd have been in two pieces. However, the blow was strong enough to send him flying back. Luckily our anti-hero was prepared for this and sent a chain at him to latch around his arm. He had planed to use this to zip himself to the beastly man but he then found he had done it for him! Yi then quickly realized what was about to happen. And boy would it hurt.

Sima Yi flue straight toward the executioner and his gut was met with a massive fist, causing a mix of spittle and blood to splatter out of his mouth. But he wasn't done there. He then grabbed Yi's waist and slammed him against the ground, causing him to skid across the floor for a good bit. The man moved to continue his assault but he was halted...by Guan Ping.


Sima Yi: *mumbling* Dammit... Of all the people that could have stepped in... I'd rather have had Zhang He!

Guan Ping: Sorry, but your fight is with me now!

Nene: And ME! :D

Executioner: RrrrrRRAAAGGHH!!!

This time the executioner was the first to strike. Just like before he intended to slam his axe down on Guan Ping. And he did so. But to his surprise the young Guan was able to block the attack with his great blade! Not that he wasn't struggling mind you, but he was doing considerable well. At least well enough for Nene to jolt around behind the executioner and deliver a fierce one-two slash on his back. He leaned back, yelling in pain and anger at the top of his lungs. He demonstrated more anger than anything though as he swung his axe in a complete 360 knocking back Nene, Ping, and the peons too scared to do anything but watch.

He followed by dashing straight to Nene, showing off incredible speed. Just as the kunoichi managed to regain her footing she was meet by a power-kick that sent her flying into a wall.


Guan Ping: Lady Nene!

In a fit of rage at the execution for what he'd just done, Ping did nothing but B-line right to him to meet in a deadlock of blades. However, with rage comes power and he showed just how much power by brushing off the lock and slashing his foe's gut a sharp wound. With a blade that size the damage was immense and the pain even worse, even worse enough to send this man to his knees and holding his wound as he fell. Ping was sure he would be down for a while and took this moment to take in a few deep breaths and found he was deathly wrong. The giant stepped up and sent a knee straight to his chin, bashing him a good ways off and directly into the air.

The executioner was about to finish the boy while he descended but he had forgotten something very important. Of course, he was reminded as a chain was wrapped around his neck.


Sima Yi: Ha! It'll take more than a punch to send me down!

The executioner growled in pain as the chain squeezed his esophagus and it didn't help when Yi wrapped a second chain around him. He then found himself on his knees and Yi saw this as the perfect moment to finish the giant. He leaped onto his back and began digging his heels into the wound Nene left him. Just a few more seconds of gargling for air that felt like hours had passed and finally, the giant was down for good.

Yi slowly retracted his chains and stepped off the back of this mighty warrior. He was tempted to see the face of the man who had caused him so much trouble but upon further inspection of his hood he saw that it was sowed into his very skin. Creepy.


Sima Yi: Nene, Boy. Are you dead?

Nene: Um, I think my butt's broken...

Guan Ping: I'm not sure but I think I lost over half my teeth.

Sima Yi: Humph. You two need to spend more time in the field. This was nothing compared to what could have been.

Nene: Um, are you sure you're okay? That was a pretty nasty hit you took.

Sima Yi: I'm fine. Now, we need to proceed into the rest of the base. The Xiahou brothers are running around here somewhere with all my troops so they've probably cleared out a vast amount of them.

Guan Ping: Speaking of troops, weren't the ones around here a little less...dead?

Sima Yi: Hm!? What the?

The three looked all around them. The soldiers that were standing and watching the fight only moments ago were now all dead bodies littered around them. Judging from the wounds they came from a blade but not one of theirs.

...Wait. Wasn't there a girl in that guillotine when they first got here?


*** Outside the Base ***

Samurai: Hm. Sima Yi and his friends were so focused on that warrior they didn't even notice me finishing off those troops for them.

Girl: Um, Rai-chan? Was that really him? Was he...

*** Flashback ***

Sima Yi is standing in the middle of a burning village, a sickling smirk smeared across his face as the houses around him were being pillaged. He then let out a chilling chuckle as he turned away from the village, having done his duty as his Orochi warriors cut through this unfortunate village...

*** End Flashback ***

Samurai: Yes. He was the one that destroyed our home. I don't know why he's turned against Orochi. I guess this is all just some game to him.

Girl: Hm...

Samurai: Ai.

Ai: Yes?

Samurai: I should apologize. If it wasn't for me, you wouldn't have been in so much danger.

Ai: Well you can't say it's really your fault! I was the one who messed up and got captured after all. That's why you had to fight for that scary old lady.

Samurai: Hm. Well, it's probably best to move away from this area. We'll find a town somewhere and rest up for tonight.

The young girl Ai, gave a nod as she and the Samurai headed off in the forest somewhere. They had their own journey to continue now.

*** Gallery - Yi, Nene, & Ping ***

Sima Yi: Well, not like it matters how the enemy died anyways. As long as their dead. But I admit it does peek my curiosity. You two go on ahead and search for our allies. I'll stay here a while.

Nene: You got it boss!

Yi watched as the two exited the gallery and waited a bit longer till they were out of earshot. Then he collapsed on the floor, holding his stomach in pain. That punch drilled him good. It was amazing he was able to hold it together for as long as he did. He waited a few minutes to regain his composure and pulled himself up again and headed after his allies.

After meeting up with the other two Yi began leading them down the underground base's corridors as they eventually came across the dinning room. And what a sight was there. The small Wei battalion that had been pressing through the base while Yi look for the prisoners was doing quite well. Xiahou Dun and Yuan were at the head cleaving through this room and about to enter the barracks and beyond that barracks should be the prisoner cells...

Sima Yi: I have an idea. Follow me.

Neither Nene nor Ping had time to ask what that happened to be though as Yi immediately ran back into the hallway they came from and proceeded into the opposite direction. They passed about 3 doors before Yi stopped and opened the 4th. Inside were not put two reptilian officers and some of their troops guarding 2 exceedingly long rows of cells, all filled with potential warriors.

Upon entering Yi drilled the two officers with lasers before they could call for help. Nene and Ping had enough sense to finish off the rest. Yi didn't bother looking for a key he simply ran to a lock and shoot it off with a laser and did so until all the cells were open. The men inside poured out to greet their rescuer.


Sima Yi: Attention! I am Sima Yi, your rescuer. Every single one of you are now indebted to me, so if you plan on leaving this place alive grab a weapon and follow me or I'll leave you here to rot.

Now that was an intimidating speech. Each of the men did so by taking the blades off fallen Orochi soldiers, and some even ripped of studs from the table in the corner to bash people with. Judging from how the handled their weapons Yi concluded that they must have been mercenaries or soldiers at one time. Good. He nodded in approval as he saw all the warriors had something to fight with. Yi moved to the front of the room again and kicked opened the door leading to the barracks. It seems his assumptions had been correct.

The main force of this base had amassed in this room, using the beds as a barricade to halt the Wei forces, though they were already banging against it. But his sudden entertain and the prisoners that came pouring in after him left his enemies fear-ridden. And soon, blood ridden as well. He and his new force charged at the enemies and began taking out their revenge against the ones who imprisoned them. With lots, and lots, of blood.

Not long after this the door busted open, shattering the half-completed barricade as Xiahou Dun came charging into the fray.


Xiahou Dun: Raaagh--huh?

The Wei force entered the room just in time to see Sima Yi sitting on the end of a bed, legs crossed, sipping a cup of tea with Nene.

Sima Yi: What took you so long? I think these fine warriors are ready to join us back at the castle.

Xiahou Dun: Uh... Sure. *blink, blink*

*** Xu Chang - Post Battle ***

Sima Yi had taken back his new and improved battalion to Xu Chang, showing off the new ranks to Cao Pi who was very pleased with the out come of 150+ more warriors and a new underground base to use at their disposal. He saw his allies off as Mitsunari designed an appropriate place to send the new recruits. He tried to slip away back into his chambers but he soon found that foiled as he encountered Guo Jia.

Guo Jia: Zhongda, I see the battle went well.

Sima Yi: Yes, it did. That base has many advantages for later battles and stratagems. Oh, and the extra man power is nice.

Guo Jia: Indeed. Anything else?

Sima Yi: You mean of the boy?

Guo Jia: I do.

Sima Yi: ...He's not as useless as I previously thought he was but--

Guo Jia: Hm, hm, hm...

Sima Yi: Something funny?

Guo Jia: No, no. That was all I needed to hear. I'll take my leave for now. Until next time, Zhongda. *bows*

Sima Yi: Of course. *bows*

And with that Yi returned to his chambers. It was already dusk when he left for the battle so there was no telling what time it was now. Truthfully, he just wanted to get out of sight before some took the time to think about something; all the years Orochi's captured warriors and all he comes back with are 150? Anyone would know there would be more bases like this. 100 more, to be exact.

And Sima Yi knew the location to quite a few of them but going out to try and conquer all of them would just waste Wei's resources. No, he would simply retire for the night and hope that he doesn't have to deal with one of those "honorable" types rambling about how we HAVE to save them. Like that Guan boy. The thought of dealing with that positively grated against Yi's nerves. But now it was time for rest...


*** Gallery - Midnight ***

The camera appears and slowly zooms in on the executioner's hood. Slowly, slowly, creeping forward by inches until his shut eyelids are in plan view...and snap open. The Executioner slowly rises to his feet.

Fade to black as The Executioner let's out a fearsome war cry...


*** End of Chapter 5 ***
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*** Chapter 6 - Retaking of Chen Gang ***

Sima Yi: Chen Gang, eh? This will be interesting.

Guo Jia: Indeed. I cannot help but wonder whose ingenuity will shine this day.

Mitsunari: Well I certainly won't allow myself to lose to you two. I wouldn't be able to show my face in public again.

Uh-huh, the three brightest minds in the Wei kingdom all on one stage. It had been decided on Cao Pi to see which of these three were truly the brightest in today's battle. When asked why he said "I think it'll be funny". >_> With the aid of Cao Ren and Zhang He this fearsome triad were to tear through Chen Gang's defenses while Cao Pi defended the camp. Each strategist had their own plans for this battle, as well as the desire to show off their expertise...

*** Wei Main Camp - Pre-battle ***

Cao Ren:
Hm, I wonder why Lord Pang Tong didn't participate in this battle.

Cao Pi: He's been petrified for the past week.

Cao Ren: Petrified? How?

*** Flashback ***

Pang Tong: Oh, yeah. That's what I'm talkin' about...

Within Xu Chang Castle Pang Tong can be seen kneeling on the floor, looking through a hole in the wall found beside a door labeled "Spa Room".

Pang Tong: Oh, yeah... Look at those things flab... Yeah, yeah, go for the suds, go for the suds!

???: What are you doing, Pang Tong?

Pang Tong: AH! I wasn't- ...Wait a minute.

Before Pang Tong were both Zhen Ji and Nene, staring puzzling at the hermit.

Pang Tong: If your here...then...

And then the door opened...reveling a horrid sight. Xiahou Yuan in nothing but a towl barely covering his junk.

Pang Tong: O_O

Xiahou Yuan: Hm? Oh hey Pang Tong.

Pang Tong: O_O

Xiahou Yuan: Uh, dude?

Pang Tong: O_O

Xiahou Yuan: ...Yeah, gonna have a problem here.

*** End Flashback ***

Cao Ren: ...I really didn't need to hear that.

Cao Pi: Then you shouldn't have asked.

Meanwhile...

Sima Yi: So, who is our enemy again? Azie?

Mitsunari: Azai. Nagamasa Azai. He's one of those love and honor types, so he's all against Orochi.

Sima Yi: Then why are we fighting him? Is this imbecile so honor blind that he cannot see to reason?

Mitsunari: We walked to his castle and said surrender or get your ass kicked, how'd you think he'd respond?

Sima Yi: We didn't--! Oh, wait yes we did.

Guo Jia: If I may intervene, I believe Cao Pi is about to commence the attack.

Cao Pi: Everyone, assemble around me! Know your orders from your superiors and take positions! Today is the day we retake Chen Gang Castle! Sally forth!

*** Later at Chen Gang Wall - Guo Jia ***

Alone, the famed strategist stood staring at the great wall before him. Sima Yi used to own this castle, he knew all to well the defensive and destructive powers of this wall. Above men were shoving in mounds of clay and rock into a series of wooden devices. This device lead down through the wall to a hole, aiming right at Guo Jia in the center. Upon loading, the contraption fires a fireball out at the enemy. This same fireball was heading straight for Jia who wasn't even trying to dodge it.

BOOM!

A cloud of smoke filled the air, shortly vanishing to reveal a blue shield and the General Cao Ren who just halted the blow.


Guo Jia: Excellently done.

Cao Ren: Of course. My shield once fought to keep these walls together. Now they shall be used to smash them down.

Guo Jia: Now!

Upon hearing this command, what appeared to be rocks around Jia were actually tan cloths that covered each fire bow unit arrayed around him, using the Arrow Formation. While the Azai troops were concerned on loading their rounds they didn't even realize the rocks creeping toward them. Now they will reap from their lack of perceptiveness. The arrows fired, the men and their defense all a flame. Jia watched as the flames engulfed the wall, creating a crimson sky above them.

Wei moral is rising!

A perfect setting for what was about to happen next. The men atop the wall now had two choices: burn, or charge the enemy force head on. They chose the latter as Jia and Ren prepared to deal with the new opposition.


Guo Jia: *unsheathes rapier* Hm, I wonder how Mitsunari and Zhongda are handling their ends..?

*** Chen Gang Bypass - Mitsunari ***

Mitsunari was just now finishing up the first defense of Chen Gang's bypass. As expected the defense were weak here. He was now up against a single Azai officer, flipping him up in the air with an uppercut of his fan and adding insult to injury by turning his back on the enemy with a grin. Enraged, the warrior jumped up. This was a mistake as Mitsunari's fan closed shut and an explosion left off underneath the warrior, ending him.

Mitsunari: Yes, things are going quite smoothly. A bit too smoothly.

As if on cue, Azai troops were spotted speeding down the mountain pass at his unit. They were mounted units, cavalry, and about to slice through his troops like a knife through butter.

Mitsunari: Ah, cavalry. Normally this would be a problem, but I of course have a trick or two up my sleeve. Please, sit back and relax.

At a wave of the hand a new unit moved ahead of the Wei troops. A wooden device known as a Spike Barrier. A simple contraption of a wooden rectangle on 4 wheels with spikes in the front. Two rows of them, now blocking the path in front of the cavalry, unfortunately for them, they had too much momentum going. They couldn't stop. They plowed into the defensive array and collapsed before Wei. The head leader could be seen clashing to the ground dead right under Mitsunari's heel, only to receive a smirk.

Wei moral is rising!


Mitsunari: As you can see, Chen Gang had it's own armory. I'd have been a fool not to take advantage of it. Now, resume the advance and we'll crush Nagamasa from the side! ...And make sure to make it into the castle before Sima Yi!

Speaking of Sima Yi...

*** Chen Gang West Gate - Sima Yi ***

Oichi: Halt! For my beloved I swear to defend this checkpoint!

Sima Yi: Your beloved, eh? Love has no place on the battlefield foolish woman!

Oichi:
Perhaps so. That is why I won't feel any remorse when I defeat you!

???: EEEEEEEEEEEEKK!!! SHE'S SO CUTE!!!

Sima Yi: Oh dear God...

Before Sima Yi even had time to finish his facepalm Zhang He had already zoomed by and began snuggling against Oichi's dress.

Oichi: *blush* W-what are you doing!?

Zhang He: HO MY GOSH, YOUR DRESS IS SO PRETTY!!!

Oichi: Thank you? Um, personal space please...

Zhang He: OMGYOUHAVETOTELLMEWHODOESYOURHAIRITSSOSEXYAND--*is lazor'd*

Sima Yi: Zhang! Go to the gate and attack the enemy defense forces. Any more of your shenanigans and the reinforcements will arrive! No go!

Zhang He: Yes, Master Sima Yi.

After Zhang He's eloquent leave of skipping, Yi and the woman retook their positions. Yi released his chains as Oichi brought out her kendama. Seeing such a toy on the battle field only further lowered his expectations for this battle. He honestly couldn't help but chuckle.

Sima Yi: With a weapon like that, you'd best have a sharp mind to back it up.

Oichi: Oh, I don't know...

Oichi grinned smugly as she slammed down the ball of her weapon at Yi, causing an eruption of tangerine light as it landed. This quick strike managed to knock him back a bit but not enough to cause any damage.

Oichi: Mind or not, it always seemed to work just fine in the rest of my beloved's battles.

Sima Yi: Ha. I shall bury you in agony. Then see where your beloved gets you.

Yi now rushed his opponent, knocking away her repeated counters with his chains. This worked until he was directly upon her to send a swift claw slash aimed across her chest. Unfortunately it missed and only succeeded in shredding a few bits of clothing and showing some blood stained skin above her bosom. This didn't appear to sit too well with her as she immediately counter with a bash from her toy.

This hit Yi directly on his spine and caused him to knee the ground. Of course, it didn't hurt enough to stop him from jolting around for another slash. This too however was dodged by a backward leap and countered with another sling of her Kendama. Yi saw this as an opening and managed to throw one of his chains and wrap it around the toy's string. He then slung his chain to the earth, causing Oichi to kneel as he quickly jumped over her. Doing this caused her arms and weapon to slip around behind her with Yi. He then began using Oichi's own string to tie up her hands around her back before letting go. Having nothing to support herself, she hit the dirt.


Sima Yi: Humph. As expected. Fang! Take her away! She could come in handy if Nagamasa proves to uncooperative.

Fang, who had been preparing to have Wei's troops construct a barricade, now moved to the downed Oichi and lifted her to her feet. He made sure he had a good grip on her. Doing as ordered he took her back to Cao Pi's camp, neither even saying a word as they slunk off.

Sima Yi now turned his attention to the west gate as his troops began to halt the reinforcements. Zhang He had done well to rid the gate of enemies. It was times like these that forced Yi to remember that he wasn't entirely useless after all. He now looked to the gate itself and saw a problem. But he was expecting it.


Zhang He: As you can see, we've come across a problem...

A top the gate was another contraption of Chen Gang, it's last outer defense. A large stone beam with two big balls on each end, spinning around just above the gate at a great speed. It was so long that it prevented anything from going near the gate without being flung away. This device was actually one of Yi's own inventions...

Sima Yi: This installment stops rams from breaking through the door so breaking it down is out of the question. The best thing to do is to use catapults to shoot it down and then move in the rams.

Zhang He: Then I will send for--

Sima Yi: No. That will take too much time. Jia and Mitsunari would have already been inside by the time we finished. I will find another way. You and I both once defended this castle. Now I must think...

Several moments had past until Yi finally moved closer to the machine. He eyed it, measuring it's speed. He then remembered that there was a leaver at the top of the gate that halted the invention and opened the gate for allied forces. Now to get to it...

He smirked and released his chains, wrapping one around one of the defense's ends. Zhang and the others watched in surprise and concern as he swung around in circles with it. Of course, this was expected. Yi then used his other chain to smack down the Azai on top the wall with great momentum. It was with this same swing his chain wrapped around the leaver, pulling it down as he spun a few more times. He could feel the device start to slow and retracted his chains as he hit the ground, heels skidding up dust clouds as he did so. Soon after, the gates had opened and the device nonoperational.


Sima Yi: Yes, I believe that was much faster. Now, into the castle!

Wei moral is rising!

*** Chen Gang - Azai Camp ***

Kazumasa: My lord, my lord!

Nagamasa: Kazumasa, what is it?

Kazumasa: *bows* Lord Nagamasa, the enemy force has broken through the west, have already obliterated the defense force on the bypass, and have set fire to the front wall! The defenses are useless!

Nagamasa: What!? But how? How could they have breached our lines so fast? This castle's defenses rivaled that of Odani's!

Kazumasa: And also my lord, Lady Oichi...has been captured by the enemy!

Nagamasa: My Oichi? In enemy hands? No! We must get her back! Commence an all-out--

???: Whoa, there! Now wait just a minute, pretty boy! Don't go wasting your men just yet. I'll tackle the guys that got your woman for you with an ambush!

Nagamasa: *sigh* Yes. Yes, you are right. Kazumasa, send the west ward troops to the center and move the reserves to the eastern bypass gate. Prepare for an enemy attack! Gan Ning, I leave the westward enemies to you.

Gan Ning: *thumbs up* Heh heh.

*** Chen Gang West Hall - Sima Yi & Zhang He ***

Sima Yi and his army proceeded further into the castle, successfully being the first of Wei's officers to step foot in Chen Gang since Orochi's time warp. Zhang He was close beside him, making sure to watch out for any more traps. However, there was a problem. It was quiet. Too quiet. Then it hit him. to his left was a wall designed for ambushes and they were about to go around the corner of that same wall. And to the front was an identical one separating this area from the main camp. Gah, how could he have been so foolish!?

Sima Yi: Ambush!!!

As expected Azai troops swarmed down from the surrounding walls. Fortunately, the split second the Wei troops had to grip their weapons may have saved well over half of them as they began to hack away at the enemy on instinct.

Sima Yi: Zhang, the men! Swing to the back and defend the rear unit! The rest of you bolster up and stay tight! We're in a pincer!

The soldiers were already doing as told while Zhang He danced across the walkway until reaching the rear, hacking down countless along the way. Yi reached for his fan and was about to physically join the fray but stopped once it was in his hand as he heard a noise. A small jingle, almost soothing. Of course, he'd heard enough about Wu to know that bells on the battlefield meant their number 1 warrior was on the field. The pirate with bells, Gan Ning.

He morphed his fan into a sword and swung around just in time to block an airborne strike. If that had hit him, he'd have been cleaved in to. This pirate doesn't play around...


Gan Ning: Hey, that was pretty good! I knew strategist were suppose to act quick but I didn't know it was that quick. Now let's see ya do it again!

No time for a witty response as the pirate resumed his lightning fast onslaught. Yi struggled to keep up with the sharp edge of Sea Master's blows, almost too afraid to dodge and accidentally shift into a swift counter. He was patient however and managed to last until he saw a weakness and exploited it with his foot to Gan Ning's gut. This made him stagger back, giving Yi ample time to fire a handful of strings. The pirate was able to cut through a few of them but the majority landed in his body.

Sima Yi: Don't struggle. It only makes the pa--what the!?

Shockingly, Gan Ning was able to shrug off the needle sharp strings, even the ones in his chest, and rush the stunned Yi as he delivered a knee to his chin that made him do a flip. This flip was good for a counter though as he used the momentum to leap at Ning. This time it was his offensive. Yi began slashing and jabbing at his foe, black blade in his right hand and using the claws in his left gauntlet. Ning could only hope to dodge and dodge as he was slowly pushed back until he met a wall.

Normally this would mean the end of Yi's enemy but this one was fast so when he planned to jam his blade into his chest he ended up impaling the wall instead. Ning took this moment to move back in and slash Yi, but by ducking under the impaled weapon, his movement was halted. The swords ground together for a while before our anti-hero retook his handle and strung out his weapon while also forcing his pirate foe to jolt back.

Zhang He: Master Sima Yi!

Gan Ning: Whoa!

Seeing his ally in trouble Zhang He acted immediately and charged Gan Ning using a C4-like attack. He was able to dodge the attack easily enough but was surprised by how much that thing could have hurt him, as proven by the large 10 line gash in the stone wall. The pirate took a step back as the two Wei warriors surronded him. He then looked to the Wei troops just in time to see them finish off the Azai ambushes.

Gan Ning: Tch...

This wasn't the time to fight. These guys were better than he thought. Ning decided to make a temporary retreat. He gripped his blade and ran diagonally across the wall overhead. Mid way he jammed Sea Master into the wall and used it as a way to propel himself over the top, bells ringing until he was out of earshot.

Sima Yi: Hm. At least he was smart enough to know when he is outmatch. But still not smart enough to realize when defeat is an inevitability. Men! We return to the march!

*** Top of Chen Gang Wall - Guo Jia & Cao Ren ***

Cao Ren: Move it!

Guo Jia: Freeze!

Guo Jia's capture of the wall was the fastest ever seen. In a matter of minutes he was able to connect 3 bridge layers and the Wei forces were already pushing back the Azai troops. Cao Ren could be seen plowing through foes like a bulldozer, shield in front and blade out for total offensiveness. Jia had just casted an ice spell, causing ice shards bigger than his sword to rain down on the enemy as it ended a row of them.

Like a flash of lightning and thunder an explosion could be seen to the east gate. As nothing came from the gate and smoke covered the way some Azai troops moved to investigate and prepare for attack. Big mistake. 2 spike barriers then mowed in from the smoke and ash to clear the way and soon following was Mitsunari and his unit joining the way. At this point the Azai moral was lower than dirt and it wasn't too long until they were all cleared away. After joining up with Mitsunari, Guo Jia's unit headed further into the castle. It was there the two forces came across Sima Yi's.


Sima Yi: So it would seem we've all made an equal amount of progress into Chen Gang... Tell me, which one of you caused the explosion I felt earlier?

Mitsunari: *smirks & raises hand*

Sima Yi: Yes, I thought you'd pull something flashy for this battle. Now Jia, I must say I'm impressed. You have done in minutes what Shu's Zhuge Liang could not do in hours!

Guo Jia: To be fair, if we had not had your information of this castle I would have never been able to take this wall in such time.

Sima Yi: Well, I'm certainly not going to deny that.

Mitsunari: Alright, alright, we can praise how smart we are later. With the main camp right through that gate up there I'd like to take it and be on our way already.

With two consecutive nods the three and their units marched through the gate at a steady pace. Yi, Jia, and Mitsunari were the first to go through this massive gate. They had expected an army but were met with nothing. Before they could conduct a conclusion the gates behind them shut. And just as before Azai troops poured from the walls and further inside the camp. Sima Yi already knew who was behind this.

Mitsunari: Wait a minute, we're the ones who fell for an ambush? Us?

Guo Jia: No need to fret. An ambush is only effective against an unprepared enemy.

Sima Yi: And we know exactly how to handle this situation.

The strategists wasted no time in forming a back to back triangle as the enemy enclosed upon them. This worked in their favor however as light began to radiate off them and electricity connect their hands. A wave erupted from them as they entered a Triple Musou. Sima Yi was now blasting through the crowds with sizzling purple beams that drilled his enemies, Guo Jia was now running at top speed and slashing from enemy to enemy, and Mitsunari was throwing his fan like boomerang in a kind of dancing motion as he proceeded through the enemies.

They ended their musou with Yi sending his hands into the air as a Yin-Yang symbol appeared below him that blew enemies away. Jia halted his rampage by holding up his shield as a wave of ice shot out from him that froze his foes on contact before they shattered to thousands of shards. Mitsunari stopped his dancing and flue his fan around him before catching it overhead. He then shut it as a multitude of explosions surrounded him and blasted through the surrounding enemies. Nothing was left alive. Nothing but a pirate with his blade over his shoulder.

Gan Ning: Now that was something! But it ain't gonna be enough! You see this chest!? *pats chest* Yer gonna have to bust through this first!

Mitsunari: Sima Yi, why don't you leave this one to us? The faster Nagamasa's taken down the better.

Sima Yi: Hm. Very well. Try to keep this one alive, we could trade him for Wu troops later.

Gan Ning: Hey! I'm right here, ya idiots! You think I'm gonna just let you--

Gan Ning was then interrupted as a giant ice spike rose from the ground directly in front of him.

Gan Ning: ...Okay then.

Yi gave a nod to Jia and headed through a final gate to Nagamasa himself. It seems he was out of troops as there was only the daimyo himself that awaited him. He slowly walked toward his soon to be opponent, examining the architect of the castle. He remembered that he once stood in this very spot as Zhuge Liang's forces entrenched on his position and it had been left up to Cao Ren, Zhang He, and himself to defend it. He felt almost nostalgic.

Nagamasa: So you've broken through my forces and even captured my love. But I will not surrender like a coward! I shall fight with honor!

Sima Yi: What a brave man calls honors, a wise man calls foolishness. If violence is what's needed to end your resistance then violence you shall receive!

Nagamasa: *readies lance* Nagamasa Azai, Lord of Bizen, rises to battle!

Sima Yi: Hm. As you wish. *releases chains* Come.

Nagamasa did so, lance in front like a mid-evil knight at joust. Of course, Sima Yi was prepared far before the battle even started and he demonstrated so by wrapping both chains around the lance and lashing it into the ground as it dug through the earth. Using the opportunity, Yi rushed his defenseless foe and kicked him high into the air, using his own weapon as a stepping stone.

Much to his surprise, Nagamasa was almost completely unphased by this. The young daimyo lifted his lance even higher than he was and sent Yi even higher than that. The force of this caused the chains to let loose and as the pair were airborne Nagamasa sent a volley of thrust at Yi, all of which just barely missed by shifting his body slightly to different sides. After having enough of shifting around, the strategist launched a beam at Nagamasa that sent him towards the ground and Yi higher into the air. Amazingly Nagamasa landed on his feet! But even worse he steadied his lance upwards and readied for Yi to descend. And then he would he would be skewered.

However, Yi didn't plan on ending his plans here. He reached to his waist and brought his fan into his hands and morphed it into a halberd. Now he was ready to descend and instead of meeting his end, he meet with a lock of the spears between the combatants, leaving them stationary for the moment until Nagamasa was forced to shrug Yi off and allow him to land.


Nagamasa: Most impressive.

Sima Yi: Likewise. Well, for a mere pretty-boy.

Word's were not necessary after this point. A smirk and a grin sled across both warrior's mouths as another charge followed, already meeting in a flurry of strikes that left sparks flying off. Nagamasa had an advantage in power but Yi was faster than your average officers so they were left fairly matched. Yi tried a sweep at his legs but the daimyo managed to skip over it and quickly smack Yi's gut with the base of his lance that made him stagger for a moment.

He saw that this could leave him open and turned around and headed back to some stairs that led to the top of the wall he had past not to long ago. He mad it to the top and sliced a stone architect peering out on the edge, cleaving it off and then using it as a projectile against Nagamasa by kicking it back toward him while he was still moving up the stairs.. This took him by surprise but he was still able to move his free arm in front to lessen the blow.

Yi used this chance to move in and hammer his enemy, Nagamasa just barely capable of defending himself. Yi was landing a power house of blows on his lance by repeatedly slamming his halberd down against it. He could tell the mans hold would soon break. Surprisingly, he was able to thrust his body into Yi before this happened and pushed him back further to the edge. Nagamasa knew this was his chance to finish it. A faint blue light formed around him as he aimed his lance back farther and farther until he shot off like a rocket.

Nagamasa plowed into Yi with great force, great enough to make him break some of the stone on the edge as he went flying off it. Of course this didn't turn out as well as he'd planned when a chain was wrapped around his arm that pulled him away until he caught up to Sima Yi mid-trajectory. It was during this blink second that Yi was able to grab him and position him in front of the flying pair...right before they collided with the adjacent wall. The force of which was strong enough to leave an imprint and knock away Nagamasa's helmet right before they landed back on the ground, this time with Yi going first. By this time, Nagamasa was already unconscious.


Guo Jia: Zhongda? Zhongda, where are you!?

Sima Yi: Jia! Down here!

Following the voice, Guo Jia and Mitsunari proceeded up the wall and eyed down to see Sima Yi kneeling on the ground and Nagamasa asleep by his feet.

Mitsunari: Hey, are you alright?

Sima Yi: Fine! Just get some rope.

*** Wei Main Camp - Sundown ***

Several hours later after the battle, Yi had had some time to recover and the Wei army had taken positions in Chen Gang. The 5 officers that stormed it's walls were now arrayed before Cao Pi with their three prisoners in row.

Nagamasa: I do not wish to suffer a shameless death. End my life now, honorably!

Oichi: I wish to suffer the same fate as my lord.

Gan Ning: C'mon, what are you gonna do to me, huh!? Kill me, huh!?

Cao Pi: You all wish for death, do you? How appropriate.

Cao Pi was pacing around behind the bound enemies, sword in hand, slowly and slowly until he came across Nagamasa. It was here he raised his blade and struck quickly...releasing his bonds.

Cao Pi: You shall join me in my cause to defeat Orochi and if you shall die then it shall be as part of that cause. Now rise. We have a long march back to Xu Chang.

Nagamasa rose, stunned for a moment as his allies were untied by Wei soldiers. He had just been indefinably defeated and lost his castle and know he was asked to join his enemy?

Nagamasa: Truly? To so carelessly recruit someone who was your enemy just a few moments ago... Is he foolish or...

Nagamasa stopped himself. It had just occurred to him how much like his brother that was. This Cao Pi might not be so different from him... He looked to Oichi to receive a small and polite smile, and then to Gan Ning who just gave a shrug at this new found development.

Nagamasa: I accept, Lord Cao Pi.

*** Xu Chang's Throne Room - Night ***

Sima Yi: Lord Cao Pi, a moment.

Cao Pi: Ah, Sima Yi, Mitsunari, and Guo Jia too.

Guo Jia: Yes, well you never told us who displayed the most cunning after the battle so we were curios...

Mitsunari: So tell us. Who's the brightest in the Wei Kingdom?

Cao Pi: Isn't it obvious? Me.

Sima Yi: ...What?

Cao Pi: Well if I hadn't been smart enough send you three to Chen Gang we would have never been able to capture it in such short time. Naturally, I should take all the credit. *exits, laughing all the way*

Sima Yi: ...Mother****er!

Mitsunari: That arrogant little..!

Guo Jia: Well that was certainly disappointing.

Sima Yi: That parasite tricked us so that we would fight more fiercely! That's why he thought this battle would be so freakin' amusing!

Mitsunari: Rugh! That he would trick us is bad enough! That we'd fall for it..!

Guo Jia: Actually that was quite ingenious.

Yi & Mitsunari: SHUT UP!

Fade to black as the pair continue to bicker for several minutes...

*** End of Chapter 6 ***
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*** Chapter 7 - Rescue at Midnight ***

Cao Pi: Move, move, move! Take out the center first, we have to clear the way NOW!

Chaos. That was the best way to describe this sight. Shu was under seige from a barrage of troops from multiple enemy forces and they weren't going to last long. It was straight midnight as the Wei troops enclosed to offer support to their ally. There wasn't even time to go back to Xu Chang when they heard of Shu's predicament, not but a few miles away on the march home. Cao Pi immediately ordered his army to help, not even allowing them time to prepare a strategy. However, Fang and a small troop were sent to Xu Chang to request aid so more reinforcements would not be far behind.

And it was here atop a cliff over head of the plains before them that Sima Yi watched, arms crossed, along side Guo Jia as the newly recruited Azai army tore through the enemy, center out. The one that stood out the most was Nagamasa as he swung his lance around from side to side as waves of men fell to their doom. He seemed to have no problem fighting for a new lord as he drove through a boar demon even.


Guo Jia: So, what do you think of our new ally?

Sima Yi: He's doing better than I expected. After the center threat is taken care of Shu's camp will be safe and we'll have a moment to pull something together and push back Orochi. Has Mitsunari returned?

Guo Jia: No, he's still scouting the area with Cao Ren.

Sima Yi: I see. We should hurry up and clear out the remaining enemies then, shouldn't we?

Guo Jia: True. Shall we?

Sima Yi: *smirks*

Arms still crossed, Yi nonchalantly walked right off the edge of the cliff and allowed himself to fall as Guo Jia joined him. Before he hit the ground Yi reached for his robe and spread it out to make a makeshift parachute while Jia drilled his rapier into the adjacent wall to slow their decent until both warriors landed. Yi flipped out his chains and immediately began striking enemies and preforming 360's and 180's all the way as Jia followed in suit with his blade, swiftly jousting from one troop to the other.

The pair made their way further in and met up with Nagamasa. The daimyo was busy with a group of officers so he didn't notice the sargent about to slice open his back. Luckily, a five-string attack from Yi managed to stop him dead in his tracks as he stood their, frozen. Nagamasa turned to see what the noise he heard was and watched as the strings released and the man fell to his death, revealing Yi to Nagamasa's sight.

Nagamasa: Sima Yi, I must--

Sima Yi: Don't bother me with the "thank you" nonsense. Just repay me by following my orders.

Gan Ning: *cuts down the final enemy as Oichi and Jia join them* You always were an arrogant bastard, weren't ya?

Sima Yi: And you're not the first person to call me that. We're done here. Zhao Yun is inside the camp beyond. We shall met up and await our allies there.

Nagamasa nodded and the 5 proceeded into the Shu camp. There weren't that many warriors and a lot of them Sima Yi didn't even recognize. The one that stood out the most had to be the old man in armor and his large hammer that was yelling some odd word into the sky. "Cheetos" or something like that. Ignoring him they moved into a Japanese style shrine like the one in Honnoji that served as the headquarters. They entered just in time to see Cao Pi receive a bow from Zhao Yun. Zhang He was also present in the corner.

Zhao Yun: Lord Cao Pi, I must thank you and your men for the aid.

Cao Pi: You have helped Wei before in battle. I was merely returning the favor, even if our last alliance ended in failure. And if Shu was gone that brings Orochi one step closer to conquest.

Zhao Yun: Of course. But we won't have long until the enemy retaliates. We've already learned that the enemy commanders are Masamune Date and Lu Bu.

Sima Yi: Masamune?

Cao Pi: You know of him?

Sima Yi: Indeed. We fought in several battles together. Some of them against you.

Cao Pi: Heh. If it was anyone else who said that I'd be worried about you holding back. However, Lu Bu worries me more than a hot-headed brat. We need our reinforcements...

???: You rang?

Entering the room was now Zhang Liao, Guan Ping, Nene, Huang Gai, and Pang Tong.

Cao Pi: Right on time. Now...

Following was Mitsunari Ishida and Cao Ren as they moved past their allies.

Mitsunari: I wonder, did you really know I was about to come or were you just lucky?

Cao Pi: Bit of both. I believe you two have some information to share?

Mitsunari: Yes, but nothing good. The enemy forces, they number in the 100,000s. Not including their reserves.

Guo Jia: Are you quite sure? That's more than our troops combined have.

Mitsunari: Yes, and they have the officers to back it up. They've got Keiji Meada and some warriors from your time in their ranks as well as countless other Date and Lu Bu officers. Not to mention several key locations along the area in their control that need taking...

Zhao Yun: Then we must combine our forces and challenge this army!

Cao Pi: A bold statement, one that I'm sure would inspire your troops. But we need a plan. And we need to act quick. Pang Tong, your thoughts?

Pang Tong: O_O

Cao Pi: Thought as much. Oh well toss him in the ammunition pile, I'm sure we can throw him at something.

Mitsunari: Right, now some of you come with me and I'll direct you to the places we need taken out.

Nene: I'll--

Mitsunari: Not you.

Cao Pi: Zhang Liao, Gan Ning, you will accompany Mitsunari. Against you two no variation of forces could halt you.

Sima Yi: I will take down Masamune.

Cao Pi: Yes, I figured as much. Very well. Nagamasa, Guan Ping, Nene you shall cover Yi.

Zhang He: I want to--!

Sima Yi: No.

Zhang He: Ohhh...

Guan Ping: Lord Cao Pi, I'm sorry but I must ask that you allow me to fight with Shu and lord Zhao Yun just this once.

Cao Pi: You feel you must do this? Hm...

Sima Yi: It's fine. I could handle Masamune by myself if need be.

Cao Pi: ...As you wish.

Guan Ping: Thank you my lord! *bows*

Cao Pi: Good. Now there is the matter of--

Guo Jia: I will face Lu Bu. And all I ask are for Huang Gai's veteran skills and a handful of explosives.

Cao Ren: But Master Guo Jia, you realize the strength Lu Bu possesses?

Haung Gai: Bah! Us true warriors can put down a beast like that no problem! Lord Guo Jia, I'm with you all the way!

Cao Pi: Hm... Very well. If you are sure. Alright, we've wasted enough time. Oichi, Cao Ren, Zhang He, you shall stay the defense with Zhao Yun and I while Shu's main force keeps the enemy occupied. Now move out!

*** Orochi Advance Force - Keiji ***

In the direct center of the mass of green and white clad warriors Keiji Meada could be seen leaning on his horse like a bed as Matzukaze trodded along in line. The miscreant let out a long sigh. Shu was suppose to be on it's last leg so all this was was mop-up duty. He really didn't understand why he had to be here.

...Of course, it was better than running around Koshi castle bored as a rock any day.


Keiji: Maaan. I just wish it was something a little more interesting.

???: Mind your tongue.

Keiji: Whoa!!

The "mighty" Keiji had fallen off his steed in shock of the mystery voice. He scrambled around and then peered up at his steed to find it's owner...now sitting on the side of his Matzukaze, arms crossed with that same eerily amused face he usually bears.

Kotaro: Least you get what you wished for.

Keiji: Argh... You're here too? Now the enemy won't even have time to scream before we take 'em out. :(

Kotaro: At the heart of this battlefield, the whirlwind of bedlam shall be at its greatest.

Keiji: What do you mean?

Kotaro: I think you'll find this battle quite...interesting.

Keiji: I'm not following you.

Kotaro: ...I mean there will be many strong opponents here.

Keiji: ...I still don't--

Kotaro: Just grab your ****ing spear and follow me. -_-

*** Forest - Yi Team ***

The pawns were in play and the battle would begin at any moment. Yi, and Nagamasa were now rushing through the forest on their mounts as Nene trailed them in a tan zig-zag flash from tree to tree. They were making good progress with no peons to wear them down. Their mission was to ambush Masamune and route him, nothing more, so troops would just be a waste. Besides, the front lines need them more than they do. Yes, it was going to be a simple dash to Masamune.

Nagamasa: Muskets!

But of course, how often are things that simple in this story? A few yards ahead of them were two watch posts, housing two pairs of musketeers and a gate between them that prevented access beyond. They were already aiming straight at Yi and Nagamasa. If they fired...

Sima Yi: Nene!

The kunoichi already knew what to do. With a poof of leafs and a few rustles in the trees she was gone. The remaining two continued to charge the gate unhalted. Yi placed his heels on his steeds saddle and readied himself as he started to outrun Nagamasa. And then...

Urk, gah, ough, waaaah!!

Above the watch posts four Nene's could be seen where the musketeers could not, all of them striking a victorious pose. Now Yi could move without worry. He waited until he was a bit closer and leaped off the horse and wrapped a chain around one of the left watch post's upper beams. Using the momentum of the horse and the power of the jump he was able to sling around to the other side of the gate. Whilst midair Yi was able to shoot off a handle full of lasers at the surrounding peons before landing right next to the lever that opened the gate and pull it.

Sima Yi: Take them out quickly! We can't risk alerting our prescience! And especially don't let them send out any scouts!

As Nagamasa flew by the barely opened gate Yi was confident he had heard his orders as well as Nene. The base behind the gate was just a small supply base. Actually a good place to stash one. As Nagamasa rode by and plummeled through the green warriors Yi noticed something. These men were not Date soldiers, but Shu troops! But Shu forces had already reported loosing this base. They must have been defectors.

Sima Yi: What on earth are these men doing here..? Did Orochi send Shu forces to take down their former allies?

Peon: YAAAH!!

Not even bothering to glance at the man charging him, Yi sliced his hand straight through the peon's torso and began walking, inspecting the base. He could see Nene and Nagamasa tear through what little resistance it offered. And then he noticed something at the far west wall. An ox? No, wood oxen.

Four more men now rushed Yi from behind. He heard their clumsy and confused footsteps before they could think of striking and immediately turned around to whip them all down with his chain as a 5th came into view. He was a good ways off. However that isn't a problem for Yi as he sent his chain out again and ensnared the peon before tugging him to Yi. Just before he bumped into Yi he drilled his claws into his gut, going in deep enough to pierce his liver. As the man became spasmodic with pain Yi's eyes caught something. On the opposite walls even more wood oxen lay! With a smirk he let the man drop to his death and moved to them. By this time Nagamasa and Nene were done with their job.


Sima Yi: You two, see those supply crates over there? Unload them into these oxen. If we set them back down the path then they can reinforce the front lines well.

Nagamasa: Are you sure? I don't think we'd have enough time for that.

Sima Yi: Time won't matter one bit if all out men our dead. The oxen can guide themselves, all we have to do is send them on the way. We don't have that many, now get to it!

*** Frontline Conflict - Shu Forces ***

Guan Ping: Xing Cai, look out!

Upon hearing the cry Xing Cai jutted around just in time to see Guan Ping's great blade slam into the ground before a charging Lu Bu generic, creating an explosion on impact that eliminate him. Ping then landed next to the blade and used it to swipe down 2 more enemies before turning to Xing Cai.

Xing Cai: Thanks for the help. I feel a lot safer now that you're by my side again.

Guan Ping: Of course! It feels good to be back your side, Xing Cai.

Xing Cai: *giggle*

Sargent: DIE!!!

Suddenly, two Date troops lunged at the pair about to hack them in halves but then...

Bang!
Bang!


Magoichi: Hey! I'm the only one that gets to rescue the damsels here! Besides you're too young for her.

Guan Ping: Wha-what!? O_o

Xing Cai: *blush* Magoichi! How dare you!

Magoichi: Sheesh, check out the love birds. One joke and you're already boiling mad! Whatever, we've got more pressing matters on hand. C'mon, little dude! *charges*

Guan Ping: I'm not little! *follows*

Xing Cai: *sigh* Boys will be boys. >_>

*** Mountain Pass Outpost - Ishida Team ***


The sound of crickets could be chirping as this seemingly peaceful part of the Date army eyed the battle that could be seen below its high peak. Few were actually guarding and watching for the enemy. This would soon cost them everything.

A single Date officer was pacing back and forth along the wooden wall he was lazily guarding. He paced and paced but then he stopped as he heard something. Bells. He looked up and didn't even have time to scream as Gan Ning's blade tore through his flesh. He let out a victorious snicker and looked to his right to see Zhang Liao had subdued some enemies on his wall just a quietly. They nodded to each other as they moved further up the base.

They reached a gate that lead further down the mountain. This way lead toward Masamune's advance base, which is where his reinforcements would come from. However they won't be getting very far when they seal these doors tight. They were about to do so when a body suddenly fell before them. They looked up above the gate to see Mitsunari standing triumphantly as the gate slowly, and quietly, crept shut and locked in place.

Mitsunari: I think it's about time we let these neanderthals find out where here, don't you?

He looked over to a large wooden platform that held the majority of the Date troops here as they watched the battle below them. There was a big man with an ax there too. Little did they know that platform was the only thing stopping them from falling to a horrible death. Course, they figured it out real quick when Mitsunari waved his hand and the platform exploded as they all went flying and the platform fell apart.

Gan Ning: Whoa-ho! Nice fire works! Maybe signing up with you guy wudin' such a bad idea after all!

Zhang Liao: Yes, I agree. Good show Lord Mitsunari. Is this the last outpost?

Mitsunari: Yes. After all the work we did neither their reinforcements nor their reserves will be able to enter the battle. Now let's head back to--wait a minute...

Mitsunari stalled as he saw the rubble of the platform moving. He show an irritated scowl as he saw a hand appear as a man was trying to pull himself back up. And wow was he a big man. He had the hand of a bear and as he began to pull more of himself up he saw the black hood around his head as he got one arm over. Why did he seem so familiar all of a sudden?

Gan Ning: So big-boy survived it huh? Ah well, I got this.

Mitsunari: Gan Ning, no!

He didn't listen as he jumped at the man, impaling his blade deep into his shoulder. This only caused the masked man to growl before grabbing Gan Ning by his torso in a single massive palm...and chuck him behind, off the mountain, sword and all into the rocky side below. The jingle of his bells could still be heard as he free fell out of earshot...

Zhang Liao: GAN NING!!!

Mitsunari: Damn it...

They stared, dumbfounded at what had just happened. And as the man pulled himself up and revealed his mighty axe Mitsunari finally remembered who he was. The one lady Nene blabbed to him about. That executioner... This was going to be a fight for their lives. Well let see what's going on with someone else, shall we? >:P

*** Frontline Conflict - Date-Lu Bu Forces ***

Keiji: YEEHAW!!! Let's get some!

Kotaro: Purge the land.

The Shu and Wei troops were flying left and right. Keiji's brute force allowed him to make sweeps across the enemy until nothing was left but a pile of wasted bodies. Kotaro was moving so fast through the crowd you could barely seem him slaughter each and every worthless human mortal that stood before him. However, Keiji still felt...unfulfilled.

Keiji: C'mon, where are the REAL men at!?

???: Certainly not here!

Just out of the corner of his eye the wild man was able to see the light blue lightning rush to him before he was able to block it with his spear. Of course, metal and electricity aren't the best thing to mix so he still got the **** shocked out of him. However he was still able to brush it off to see the two before him.

Yoshihiro: ...You know I'm right here.

Ginchiyo: Yes, but you're brittle bones barely qualify as alive let alone manly.

Keiji: Well if it isn't the devil himself! And his spunky sidekick!

Ginchiyo: Side-WHAT!?

Yoshihiro: *snicker*

Ginchiyo: You shut up! I'm going to fry that fool and then we'll see who's the sidekick!

Yoshihiro:
Then who am I suppose to fight?

Just then Kotaro appeared before Yoshihiro.


Kotaro: Boo.

Right before power kicking him through a crowd of people.

Utterly ignoring this, Ginchiyo charged Keiji whilst tossing a few lightning balls his way as he dodged 2 and smacked down the last with the butt of his blade. This was costly however as Ginchiyo used this time to flipkick him up in the air. She lunged to follow his course but underestimated his resiliency as he quickly rebound and grabbed her by her arm, spun a full 360, and then slammed her into the ground. The wild one then descended on his foe blade first only to have her roll out of the way before jumping back as they entered a flurry of attacks.

During this time Yoshihiro had recovered and Kotaro was already rushing him. However as he was doing so Yoshihiro heaved his hammer up high before having it come crashing down on the ninja just before he had a chance to strike. Amazingly, Kotaro was able to block the attack with his gauntlets but the force was so huge it caused his feet to sink at least 3 inches into the dirt. the devil lifted his weapon for another blow but was too slow as Kotaro shot him with an orb of dark energy that, once again, sent him flying. This time into a mountain wall.

Dust filled the air after the impact and Kotaro already charged him yet again. This time though he recovered faster. Fast enough to spear through from the dust in a blue arrow-headed flash that sent the Fuma ninja flying back. Yoshihiro now went to do his charge but halted as he saw to clawed hands grab his shouldered and two clawed boots ram into his face like a sling shot. This made him stagger back in pain but he was still able to grab Kotaro by his sash and throw him into the air to set him up for a home run. But before he could complete his swing the ninja disappeared and reappeared behind him as he slammed his hand against the ground as Yoshihiro was engulfed in a purple radiation.

Yoshihiro: CHESTOOOOOOO!!!

This didn't work as he had planned though as a hammer drilled him from the purple light that hadn't even sizzled the devil. This forced him away but wasn't anywhere close to the end as the pair resumed their fight.

Keiji managed to land a fist across Ginchiyo's face this time as he continued with a swing of the blunt end of his pike that sent her falling to the ground, holding her gut for a moment. She quickly tried for another jab to his head but failed as the strike was sidestepped and counter as the wild one flung her away with the blade of his pike. If not for her armor that would have killed her. But it did still hurt. A lot.

Ginchiyo: D-damn... Will I let my father down?

???: Do not worry, commoners! I'll save you all!

Ginchiyo: ...Oh you've got to be kidding me.

Yuan Shao: I, the honorably magnificent Yuan Shao, will defeat your enemies! Take this, fiend!

Yuan Shao then clumsily threw his sword at Keiji hitting him square in the eye with the blunt part of his blade.

Keiji: Ow! Dude, what the hell?!

Yuan Shao: Ha-ha! I have defeated an officer! Now worship all your bases that are belong to me!

Upon seeing this display of idiocy Kotaro decided it was time to stop playing with the devil and finish him off by grabbing him by his head and slamming him on the ground. It didn't kill him but he won't be moving for a while. Kotaro then turned to Yuan Shao.

Kotaro: Shao, what the hell are you doing in this story?

Yuan Shao: Oh noez! Kotaro! Take this, knave!

Shao once again throw his sword like an idiot at the ninja. Naturally, he knocked it away with a flick of his hand.

Yuan Shao: ...****. *dials number*

Deapthroat: What?

Yuan Shao: I've encounter Kotaro! What do I do?

Deapthroat: Have you tried throwing your sword at him?

Yuan Shao: Ya, didn't work. Plan B?

Deapthroat: ...RUN, BIYOTCH, RUN!!!

Yuan Shao: This is not a retreat! But rather a move for my fu--*is C3'd*

*** Forest Outpost - Yi Team ***


Sima Yi: Hm... My idiot senses are tingling. Someone on this battlefield must be truly ignorant in it's purest of forms. Shao must be here. Anyways we've already sent all but 2 oxen's, hurry up! ...Hm?

Sima Yi was watching as his two subordinates were loading the oxen until he saw a few pieces of cement and dust fall above him. He looked up the concrete wall he was leaning on and saw him. A date ninja had spotted them! Yi's eyes widened as the ninja disappeared out the base.

Sima Yi: Spy! Forget the provisions, Nene, go!

Nene: Hey! Don't you take that tone with me young man! I'm not doing a thing until you ask me nicely.

Sima Yi: ...What?

Nene: You heard me.

Sima Yi: ...GO AND KILL THAT ****ING NINJA YOU STUPID CONCUBINE!!!

Nagamasa: O_o

Nene: Eep! *poof*

Sima Yi: Nagamasa, we ride!

Nene leaped gracefully over the outpost's walls and into the thick forest trees with the speed of a cheetah, vying to catch up with the ninja Yi had directed her too. She could hear faint footsteps of the horses behind her as the soon fell out of sound. She was surprising herself of how fast she was moving. She was just barely able to see the green ninja hopping from tree to tree before her but she knew he was there.

Nene: Got'cha!

Apparently, the ninja heard that as he turned around and threw a handful of shurikens at her. Luckily she was trained to move quickly so dodging this was nothing to worry about. Dodging the handful of bombs he just threw, now that was different. The best thing she could do was cover her face and swing behind a tree as the explosion ripped through the bark. She flue onto the ground below from the blast.

Nene: Ow! Didn't your mother ever teach you not to play with fire! Hey! Are you listening!?

Of course he was long gone by now. And of course this pissed off Nene to an amount that no descriptive powers I posses could describe. Well actually that right there about summed it up. Anyways, she split 2 clones of herselves and went back after the ninja, catching up to him in no time. This time she was serious. And a serious Nene is a deadly one. The Date ninja had no idea she was there until one of her jumped ahead at him, missing a slash from her blade and cleaving a tree in half instead.

Shocked, the ninja jolted around to another direction. This wasn't much better as he saw another Nene standing before him on another tree, arms crossed and eyes flamed with anger. He was so startled he didn't even notice the real Nene come flying at him from the side and digging her blade into him as they came crashing down below onto the path, digging up the ground as she rode him for a moment. Satisfied, and sure that he wasn't going to be spying on anything ever again, she pulled out her blades and dusted herself off.


Nene: Ah, nothing like a brutal killing to calm the nerves. :D Time to go find the o--huh?

As Nene turned around she stopped dead in her tracks. Before she could even confirm what she was staring at, something bopped her on her head and darkness engulfed her sight.

*** Frontline Conflict - Shu Forces ***

Guan Ping: HUURRAGH!!!

The Young Dragon roared as he slammed his blade on the ground full force and a blue arrow shaped shockwave traced the ground as it collided with enemies until there was nothing but a smoldering path before him. Magoichi and Xing Cai halted their movements in surprise of this.

Magoichi: Whoa, dude! Now that was wicked. ...Not that I couldn't do better I'm just running low on ammo, you know how it is...

Xing Cai:
I'm sure. >_>

Magoichi: Fine then. Check this out! Oh, and you might want to back up.

Magoichi kneeled on his knee and began loading and manipulating his gun as Xing Cai and Guan Ping made their distance. He loaded countless rows of ammo from his coat and turned to the white clad warriors before them, nothing but a huge grin on his face.

Magoichi:
Yeah, time to go automatic!

Magoichi pulled the trigger hard and steady. Suddenly his one-shot musket began spitting off rounds like a fully automated SMG as he waved it back and forth. The enemy soldiers were mowed down in seconds as their screams of panic ran through the air. Once he saw that the only thing left breathing was behind him he got back up and reloaded his musket before turning to his comrades.

Magoichi: What can I say? I told ya so? Nah, that's too light.

Guan Ping: Wow...

Xing Cai: That was amazing!

Magoichi: I know, I know, we can all adore my mad skills and rugged good looks later now.

Xing Cai: No, not you! Your gun.

Magoichi: My...what?

Guan Ping: Yeah, you must have payed a fortune to get a craftsmen to make it that effective.

Magoichi: Wha? No! I made it!

Xing Cai: Heh heh, yeah right. Like you'd be able to work a gun like that all by yourself.

Magoichi: No! I'm a master at this kind of thing! I even helped make Ieyasu's cannon-thingy and believe me you have no idea how complicated that freakin' thing is!

Xing Cai: Right, of course. Now are we gonna get moving or what?

Magoichi: T_T But, but! Agh...fine. Let's go.

Guan Ping lead the three forward with Xing Cai close behind and Magoichi sulking after them, grumbling something about "ungrateful punks". Their little show actually did a good job of pushing back the enemy forces as they moved further in. Magoichi and the others quickly pulled themselves together and moved forward into battle as they began hacking, slashing, and shooting their way in. They eventually met up with the advance force to find them struggling against the enemy. Too be more accurate, 2 enemies. Kotaro Fuma and Keiji Meada.

Xing Cai: Oh no!

They arrived just in time to see Keiji standing tall above Ginchiyo, about to deliver the finishing blow on the Tachibana lady.

Magoichi: I got this! *aims* Adios Keiji!

He fired his shot and waited for his old buddy's lifeless body to roll over. However a warrior of Keiji's calibur can practically sense danger. He didn't even look to see the bullet he just turned his spear around and smacked the iron ball straight down. He immediately turned to Kotaro who was forcing back Shimazu's hammer.

Keiji: Bro, we got trouble!

Fuma said nothing. Simply turned his head to see the three new warriors that had entered the fray, no sick smirk or grin. Just an unamused stare. He swiped his foot across Yoshihiro's feet, causing him to fall, before bursting forth at Magoichi with lightning speed that left a blur.

The musketeer fired a few rounds at the ninja but with his zig-zagging motions not a one made contact before he used the moment to ram his shoulder against him, full force, that sent Magoichi flying. He then heard foot steps. The boy was charging him. The ninja turned to his new foe and met him halfway as he drilled an uppercut on his chin, taking off some skin and blood with his claws as he dove into the sky.

Now he turned to the final interloper. The woman. He zoomed straight to her and jumped just before collision in order to land a boot on her shield she used to block the blow. The kick was so strong though it sent her flying regardless and probably left a dent in her shield. And now he halted. In a matter of seconds he had three more bodies around his feet as the same glare he had when he began still lurked across his face.


Kotaro: How uninteresting.

Yuan Shao: *waves cell* I have Pong on this thing! That's always interesting! :D

Kotaro: ...You know you just killed a really badass moment there, Shao.

Keiji: Kickass, Pong! :D

Naturally, Keiji and Shao wasted no time in engaging in an epic battle of the pongs. Kotaro could think of no better response than to simply facepalm himself. Suddenly, he noticed something on the mountain. A large dust mound was storming down it and coming right toward them. What on earth was that? They'd soon find out.

*** Mountain Pass Outpost - Ishida Team ***

Mitsunari rolled out of the way to avoid a vertical strike from the massive executioner. As he stopped her folded open his fan and tossed it at him, hoping to cut a hole in his chest but was surprised as it bounced of his rhino like skin and perfectly back into his hands. He raised up and started running around to dodge another hit.

This time Zhang Liao took his stand against the behemoth and used his blade to send a slash straight down the Executioner's back. He expected this to cause him to back down but he soon found his hide near impenetrable as he brushed it off, and swung the end of his ax to bash Liao away. He charged after him as Liao regained his footing and skidded across the ground as he came to a halt. The Executioner raised his foot high and slammed it down on the general hard. He raised Blue Wyvern in defense and held back the enourmus foot as best he could. But he could already feel his strength weakening.

However he quickly gained it back as a green beam Mitsunari shot from his fan crashed with the Executioner's face. It hurt his eyes a bit as he took a step back and took his foot off of Zhang Liao. He shot two more at his head but was blocked with his free arm, his massive biceps taking the blast for him. The Executioner then rushed the strategist and grabbed his torso before lifting him up in the air and slamming him back down. God, how that hurt like hell. Normally he would end this by crushing Mitsunari's skull but he had learned from before and instead turned and threw him like a baseball at Zhang Liao.

Liao was somehow able to stop his charge meant for the Executioner midway and catch Mitsunari in his arms. He kneeled and tried to put Mitsunari back on his feet but was forced to stop as he saw the Executioner running toward them once again. Liao griped his blade tight. He knew he had only one shot at this.

The general raised blue Wyvern high and threw it like a javilen at the Executioner. He found it hit his mark as the blade dug straight into his chest...piercing his heart. Liao smirked as the man stepped back a few times, holding his chest. It seemed like forever had passed as he stared at the blade inside his body.


Mitsunari:
Uh, shouldn't he fall over now and, you know, DIE!?

The Executioner did no such thing. He raised his gaze back to the pair and let out loud and terrible yell. If not for the sounds of battle clogging their ears, the men below them could have heard it's ferocity. He finally stopped and began taking slow, careful, steps at the two. At this point, he'd already forgotten about the polearm jammed in him.

Zhang Liao: That's impossible! You mean cutting through his heart won't even stop him!?

Mitsunari: Well if that won't do it, then let's see about blowing him to pieces!

Mitsunari, now on his feet, closed his fan shut as the Executioner's eyes fell below. He was standing right on top of a cache of bombs Mitsunari had set earlier right as they exploded. He tried to block it with his axe but the explosives were far too close. He was sent flying and landed on his back, almost sliding right off the mountain cliff. The way he landed forced the now blood covered Blue Wyvern to retract upward were mostly the blade was in him now. However even with all this the Executioner was still able to get back to his feet. But this time, it took him a bit longer.

But now Mitsunari and Zhang Liao were out of ideas. They stared in silence, hoping for the voice of some ally to come aid them, anyone. But no, they heard nothing. All they could hear was a jingling noise.

...Wait.


Gan Ning: Yippie-kai-ey-mother****er!

From the abyss of the mountain the one and only pirate, Gan Ning, leaped out from behind the Executioner. The man had no time to react as Gan Ning grabbed onto his shoulder and swung himself around as to impale his Sea Master blade right into his upper-left chest. He stayed there hung on his shoulder to keep him occupied as he looked to Zhang Liao.

Gan Ning: Yo Zhang Liao, time to get your blade back don't 'cha think?

Liao knew exactly what Ning had in mind. The Executioner was backing up and was just an inch from falling off the mountain. He gave a nod to Mitsunari and ran straight to the giant bracing himself as he rammed his shoulder, along with the mass of his body weight, right into him as Gan Ning simultaneously leaped off him with Sea Master and using his own body as a spring board. Mitsunari watched as Ning landed perfectly back on the ground and as Liao and the Executioner went flying off the mountain.

Gan Ning: Hell yeah! That's what I'm talkin' about! C'mon, lets go after 'em!

Mitsunari: What the-!? Are you insane!?

Of Course by this time all Mitsunari could hear was Gan Ning yelling "yeehaw" as he jumped off the cliff after them. Mitsunari hesitated a moment before finally deciding to follow after them. How they thought this was a good idea he would never know.

Gan Ning was running down the rocky and slanted mountain he had climbed not to long ago and was quickly gaining momentum. Mitsunari on the other hand took an easier approach and was gradually sliding down the mountain, creating a dust path behind him as his boots skid and shifted from rock to rock.

Further down the mountain the Executioner was grinding down, the rocks digging into his back as he made a considerably larger dust cloud that could clearly be seen by an observant eye in the below battlefield. And standing on his chest was Zhang Liao who had just now ripped his blade from his enemy's body and was now using it to slice it up again. Liao landed in many good hits but even as he was falling the Executioners was not able to regain his footing but could still use his axe and his arm to strike at Zhang Liao. The pair engaged in a melee of strikes as Liao dodged and blocked the assualt while the Executioner pushed passed the pain and went on the offensive, although still blocking the occasional blade with his axe.

It wasn't long until they began to get close to the bottom. Liao could see the battlefield out of the corner of his eye and knew he didn't want to be on this man when they crashed. He looked to his right to see Mitsunari catching up with them.

Zhang Liao: Lord Mitsunari!

Ishida nodded and slide his way further to them until he was right beside the conflict. He waited as the two swung their weapons at the other until he saw an opening. It was then he lunged out from beside them and drilled the Executioner's face with his fan as he flue past them and returned to grinding to the right. Using this opening Zhang Liao swung Blue Wyvern in an uppercut fashion that dug into the Executioner and as he did so flipkicked him unto the air as Liao landed and began his own grind.

It was now when the Executioner was airborne that Gan Ning made his turn and jumped at him to nail him with the strongest dropkick he'd ever got hit with. The force of which increased his decent considerably. Slipping out a smirk the pirate landed and went back to running down the mountain. The three made sure to catch a good view of the monsters crash landing into a pile of his own troops, squashing them all.

Amazingly when the three reached the end of this mountain themselves they however managed to gracefully and perfectly land on the flat surface below. They and the people around them stood for a moment, shocked and in awe of what they just pulled off.

Mitsunari: I can't believe what we just did...

Gan Ning: Hah hah hah! Now THAT is what I call awesome! High five!

Zhang Liao: *hi-5's Ning*

Kotaro: Well done, warriors of old. Now we shall see how you fair against...

Keiji:
The craziest wild cat in town!

Kotaro: And the fiendish arts of the Fuma.

Yuan Shao: AND the nobility of Yuan Shao!

Gan Ning: Uh...ain't'chu on our side?

Yuan Shao: Really? Damn. Can I defect?

Kotaro: No.

Keiji: Hey, I think that'd be a great--

Kotaro: No!

Zhang Liao: ...Actually you know we wouldn't mind if--

Kotaro: NO GODDAMMIT!

Having enough of this foolish baffling, Kotaro rushed the three newcomers to signal the start of the battle...
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*** Date-Lu Bu Main Camp ***

Masamune: What!? What do you mean our frontlines have been massacred!?

Scout: I-I'm sorry my lord! But with the massive Wei reinforcements we've been decimated on all sides! We've lost contact with all our reserve units with the mountain base destroyed and the frontlines--

Lu Bu: SILENCE!

Scout:
WAAAH!!!

Lu Bu: Cao Cao was a weakling and his son is no different! If you maggots can't take them and a few Shu renegades down I'll do it myself! Outta my way!

Masamune: Hey! You can't leave the camp, you're suppose to be the commander too!

Lu Bu: Bah! What good is a commander if all he does is bark orders! I am a man of action! *mounts Red Hare* Hiya!

Masamune: Hey! Get back here! Are all Chinese guys like this?

Ignoring Masamune utterly, the mighty Lu Bu rode out of the camp at full speed, only he and his halberd in tow. He rode until he reached a narrow passage that separated the main camp from the battlefield he so longed for. He wasn't too far to his destination as two pairs of eyes followed him like a hawk...

Guo Jia: Do it now.

BOOM!
BOOM, BOOM!


Lu Bu: What!?

BOOM, BOOM, BOOM!

Red Hare began to neigh and panic at the incredibly loud sounds that rang through the horses eardrums. Lu Bu was too busy trying to figure out what just happened to even think of calming the steed down as he looked forward to see a rockslide come through in the narrow walls that sealed off his way forward. He then jerked behind to see another pile come down behind him to prevent his retreat. Now he knew. It was a trap. He dismounted Red Hare and sent it as far away as possible as he scanned above for an ambush.

Lu Bu: You! I know you're there! YOU DARE TRY TO TRICK THE GREAT LU BU!!! Come out so I can impale you!

Above the valley...


Huang Gai: He's calling for you. Don't worry! Together we can annihilate him!

Guo Jia: ...Huang Gai, may I have one of your more potent bombs?

Huang Gai: Of course!

Guo Jia: Thank you. *puts it in his robe* Now light the signal for Lord Cao Pi. I shall deal with Lu Bu. Alone.

Huang Gai: What!? But Lord Guo Jia--!

Guo Jia:
Do not fret Huang Gai. I have a plan. *smiles*

Huang Gai: Very well. You've never disappointed before.

The warriors nodded to each other as Huang Gai went to do so. Guo Jia readied himself and equipped his shield and rapier. He looked down below at the impatient beast below and threw down a rope he'd tied to a sturdy rock before. He then used this to slide his way down to Lu Bu. As he landed he slowly walked to the much taller warrior and eyed him coldly.


Lu Bu: ...This? This scrawny man is all that stands before me? You dare waste my time!

Guo Jia: I may appear like an inadequate fighter, but I believe you'll find I have a few tricks up my sleeve. Like this.

Lu Bu raised an eyebrow at this as Guo Jia aimed his shielded hand at him and a wave of ice flue out at the warrior like a blizzard. At first he was able to stand his ground but it didn't take long for the ice to take effect and blast him into the pile of rock that blocked the way to the battlefield. Jia saw this as an opportune moment to strike and he did so, rushing straight to the downed Lu Bu. However, he underestimated the rate that he'd recover. Just before he was in range to use his rapier Lu Bu arose to his feet and used the butt of his halberd to C2-uppercut Jia into the air.

He continued the counter by grabbing Jia's ankle and slamming him down on the ground before him. He would have finished it off with the jab he used at Jia next but he was somehow able to roll out of the way of the razor sharp blade. He immediately got to his feet...only to be close-lined by Lu Bu. As he did this Jia's chin was hooked onto his arm as the beastly man ran forward and then released him, sending Jia right into the opposing rock pile. As he hit some of the rocks shifted but luckily none fell down.

He didn't waste time opening his eyes at this point. He already knew Lu Bu well enough by rumors to know he was planning another attack so instead he raised his shield. Good call as Lu Bu's fist collided with it. This would have torn a normal man's knuckles apart but to Lu Bu this was nothing. He followed with a twirl of his halberd that Jia had to duck to avoid but since he made a full 360 he was able to use the other end to bash the strategist into the valley wall.

However this motion caused one of the more higher rocks to fall at Lu Bu. This didn't pose a threat though as he shattered the rock with one swing of his blade. Thankfully though, this was all the time Jia needed to send an ice shard straight into his back. Naturally, this got Lu Bu pretty pissed. But he wasn't as mad he'd usually be when he turned around and saw Guo Jia kneeling down and clutching inside his robe painfully.


Lu Bu: Hah! What's the matter? That last attack too much for you?

Guo Jia: *cough* Yes, that last was...rather good. But!

In less than a second Jia impaled his rapier in Lu Bu's right leg with his free arm and jumped up, latching his arm around Lu Bu's as he revealed the now lit bomb from his robe.

Guo Jia: I think this one will really blow you away.

Lu Bu: What the hell!? Get off of me!!

Lu Bu shooked and shooked and pushed Guo Jia as hard as he could but the smaller man's hold was impeccable. He absolutely couldn't shake him off! And with a sword in his leg he really couldn't move from that spot so he was stuck there with Guo Jia and a bomb. He could actually hear the fuse getting shorter at this point. Lu Bu then stopped pushing and started punched Jia in his face mercilessly.

Lu Bu: Are you insane!? That blast will kill you too! MOVE DAMMIT!!!

But it was too late. The fuse was gone. He paused for a microsecond that seemed like hours...hours of his impending doom. And then...

BOOM!

It went off. Lu Bu was so close to the rock formation he actually blew straight through it, clearing a path. Jia on the other hand was facing the opposite direction so he was sent straight across the valley into the adjacent rock pile. He crashed hard into the rocks and slide down on his backside.

Lu Bu was now lying on the ground, freed from the imprisonment the rocks presented but in immense pain. To make matters worse the sword was still jammed into his leg. As it turns out the bomb was softened by his armor so he was still alive to feel the agony. Growling in his torment Lu Bu reached for the rapier in his leg and ripped it out as fast as he could, tearing out a scream with it.

Lu Bu: AAARRGH!!! DAMN THAT PATHETIC FOOL!!! TO THINK THAT A WEAKLING LIKE HIM COULD DO THIS TO THE GREAT LU-agh!

Apparently, the blast did a number on his side too as yelling made that hurt. Snarling and showing his teeth Lu Bu through the sword straight at Guo Jia. Fortunately his aim was off and the blade landed just beside his head, mere inches away.

Lu Bu: Tch. Whatever, probably dead anyways. All he had was a robe to protect him.

Lu Bu, unable to walk, called for Red Hare who somehow survived all this and moved toward its master. He pulled himself up atop his steed with nothing but sheer upper body strength. He was too hurt to go into battle now. He would have to get his revenge against Wei later. For now he weakly rode his majestic horse out of the battlefield...

And meanwhile, Guo Jia lays utterly motionless as his body rests against the rocks behind him. His eyes were shut and the sword still dug in beside him. He didn't even seem to breathe until a sharp gust of ice cold air ran past him that pierced his lungs back to life as he took a long deep breath and began panting. He looked at his hands to make sure this was his he was looking at and not his spirit's.


Guo Jia: Fascinating... Hm?

Huang Gai: L-lord Guo Jia! I heard the bomb go off and I came back to see you lying here and I feared the worst. Are you alright?

Jia took a moment to look at himself. His robe was shredded from the blast and he had a great deal of bruises and cuts to match them. He then saw that his blade was embedded beside him. He also realized that Lu Bu was gone. With a soft smile, Jia rose to his feet and released his blade.

Guo Jia: Yes, I just...need to rest when we get home. The bomb went off a bit closer to me than I had wanted it too but Lu Bu has retreated, for that much I am sure.

Huang Gai: I'm relieved to hear that! But you still do not look that well. I lit the signals and lord Cao Pi should commence any minute now. We've done enough for this battle. Let us return to base.

Jia nodded and followed his ally. But as he he did so he looked at the hand he had held the bomb in as it exploded. It was perfectly fine. Not even so much as a smudge.

*** Forest - Yi Team ***

Meanwhile, Sima Yi and Nagamasa rode after Nene through the forest at full pace. Upon hearing the shriek that they knew for sure was hers, Yi had ordered them to move as quickly as possible. They moved in closer until they came across a single warrior. A tall man, holding a long polearm. ...And standing above an unconscious Nene. Yi and Nagamasa immediately dismounted to meet the new opposition. Yi was the first to step up, snarling.

Sima Yi: If she's dead, I guarantee I'll have you screaming for weeks.

???: She is only unconscious. Lord Zhuge Liang has ordered me to defend this area. He had thought that there may be a covert unit moving along the path and it seems he was right.

Sima Yi: Bah, as I thought. I knew he was behind this opposition.

The man reached down with one hand and lifted up Nene before tossing her Sima Yi's way, easily catching her. She was fine.

Sima Yi: I should have expected you wouldn't be able to harm a woman, Guan Yu. Despite what that rumor about Diao Chan may suggest.

Guan Yu: Humph. I'll give you one chance to leave without wound.

Sima Yi: And you know I can't take that chance.

Guan Yu: Very well. Prepare yourself!

Nagamasa: Wait! You are the one claimed "God of War", correct? Lord Sima Yi, please, let me fight him.

Sima Yi: Sure, what do I care? Just get him out of the way.

Nagamasa: Thank you. Lord Guan Yu, I, Nagamasa Azai, challenge you to a duel!

Guan Yu: As you wish. Let us begin!

Nagamasa: Hurrragh!!

Nagamasa saw that Guan Yu was ready and charge similarly to his final attack on Sima Yi at Chen Gang. The blue iffenities irradiated off him as he plowed through Guan Yu, knocking him back a ways even as he guarded with Blue Dragon. The war God however still landed on his feet just as well and countered with his own charge, almost gliding forward as he spun Blue Dragon in front of him, the blade creating sparks against Nagamasa's lance as it drilled it repeatedly.

Eventually Nagamasa's guard broke and left him open as the end of Blue Dragon slammed into his gut and then followed by lifting him up and ramming him back on the ground hard. Naturally, this left him down for a while. Guan Yu raised his blade and twirled it around above heard for a while until he struck down with all his might.

However, his blade met only dirt as Nagamasa moved out of the way and quickly began slashing with his lance that made the war God jump back to avoid. He got up and charged again as he and Guan Yu entered a flurry of blade on blade action, each man striking with their weapons with inhuman speed. Nagamasa jabbed his lance at Guan Yu only to have it blocked time and time again, sparks razing from the clashes until one jab landed into his shoulder.

this didn't block the Shu warrior like he had intended. Guan Yu had taken enough blades to withstand a little poke and drove Blue Dragon across his chest that left a large wound, blood already dripping from it. What Guan Yu didn't realize though was that Nagamasa could take just as much as he could and proved it by slamming his shoulder into him as he flue straight into a tree. He hit so hard he stood in place for a moment before sliding to the ground.

And if he had stayed there any longer he would have been skewered as the daimyo's lance could be seen impaled in the tree where his head formally was. Unfortunately now his weapon was stuck and Guan Yu took this moment to strike with Blue Dragon. Time seemed to slow as the blade of the war God's weapon came toward his skull. He would have lost it if he hadn't caught a second wind and forced his lance straight out the side of the tree, blocking the blow and dealing a slash to his arm yet again before they entered a deadlock.

Suddenly creaking was heard as they soon saw the tree was falling right at them! They quickly broke the lock as the bulky wooden plant fell before them, blocking their way to each other. They stopped and breathed heavily as they stared at each other. Surprisingly to Nagamasa, Guan Yu stepped out of his battle stance.

Guan Yu: Well done, lad! You have fought well! You may pass.

Nagamasa: May-*pant*-pass? You forfeit?

Guan Yu: I am too wounded to continue fighting. My arm is nearly broke. You have won, Nagamasa Azai.

Nagamasa: Well-*pant*-it was a good duel then.

Guan Yu: *nods and limps to his stead, clutching his shoulder as he mounts* I take my leave! *rides off*

Sima Yi: Humph. I didn't expect him to finish the fight. Still, well done Nagamasa. Guan Yu is not an easy foe to defeat.

Nagamasa: You flatter me. But, his name was "Guan" correct? Isn't there a young warrior here with that name?

Sima Yi: Guan Ping. Yes... Nagamasa, I believe it prudent to not mention this to him, or anyone else for that matter. It would simply cause unwanted drama and I'm sure no one here wants to deal with any of that.

Nagamasa: I see. I will do as you ask. What about your love?

Sima Yi: ...My what?

Nagamasa points to Nene, still cradled in Yi's grasp.

Sima Yi: What, this thing!? *drops her*

Nene: OW!!!

Sima Yi: No such thing exists between me and her.

Nagamasa: Oh, er, sorry I just assumed from your reaction when you saw her and the concubine remark...

Sima Yi:
No. -_-

Nene: *gets up* Ow... Why is it every time I fight I hurt my rear end!? So what happened while I was out?

Sima Yi: Nothing. You two get ready, we'll be upon the main camp soon. I want to finish this now.

*** Shu Main Camp - Cao Pi & Zhao Yun ***


Cao Pi: There's nothing quite like turning a battle completely around, is there? Guo Jia has lit the signals, fire the catapults and the cannons! Annihilate the enemy!

Before the battle it had been Guo Jia's plan to close off the Orochi forces escape route with bombs since the only way past the battle field was through Shu's camp or through Date's. And the way to the Date had been sealed in an ambush against Lu Bu. The Shu forces made sure to fall back as the Orochi forces pursued and once they got as close as they could, death from above.

However the Shu and Wei forces both would have taken considerable damage if it hadn't been for Sima Yi's provisions keeping moral up. Jia had expect Lu Bu to move out earlier than he did and could have lost some good men.


Zhao Yun: Uh, Lord Cao Pi, you do realize Pang Tong is being loaded onto the catapults?

Cao Pi: I do.

Zhao Yun: Just checking.

Pang Tong: O_O

Fang: Fire!

Pang Tong: O_O *takes down 4 officers on impact*

Cao Pi: Huh. Took down more than I thought he would.

*** Frontline Conflict - Orochi Forces ***

Kotaro stopped just in time to watch a rock from a catapult slam the Executioner to the ground as the Shu and Wei forces turned around and began decimating the Orochi army. How the hell that beastly man could survive all that not even he knew.

The Ishida team had already retreated back to set the attack as Kotaro and Keiji tried to survive the doom raining down on them. As for Yuan Shao, no one really knows what happen to him but then again no one really cared where he went anyways.

Keiji: Whoa. We're gettin' creamed! And not in the good way!

Kotaro: There's a good way for that?

Keiji: *grins widely*

Kotaro: ...Disgusting. Nonetheless you are correct. The mortals won't be able to last for much longer. You'll have to retreat if you want to survive.

Keiji: Yeah, probly. Buuut, that doesn't mean we can't give 'em something to remember us by, huh!? Whad'a'ya say, Fuma?!

Kotaro:
*smirk* The wild ones strike.

Keiji: Hell yeah!!! RAAAAAGGH!!!

The wild ones ran headlong into the Coalition force, side by side, as they drilled straight through their lines. Blood and guts spattered in the night sky as the pair hacked, slashed, and bashed through anyone stupid enough to come against them. Side by side they pushed on and on until they couldn't even see their allies. And of course, this meant they were surrounded.

Like that matters. They immediately moved back to back and let come what may.

Kotaro cut down 2 foot soldiers like butter, the first sign of the on coming slaughter. Another rushed him only to slam against the ground by a sweep of the ninja's boot as two more followed, spears aimed. However Kotaro was easily fast enough to dodge the spears, catch them under his arms, break off the blade, and then pierce it through the hearts of its respective owners before grinding his heel down on the former soldier's neck as a satisfying crack ripped through the air. Now he just couldn't help but smile at that.

Keiji was tearing down rows at a time. 3 would run toward him, and 2 of the 3 would get cut down while the final got smacked by the end of his spear, sending him further into the crowd. Once this happened a few times you'd think they'd learn but apparently people weren't that smart back them. The wild cat slammed his spear into the ground as a shockwave sent a row of them flying off and following up with a 180 twirl that hacked down nearly half a dozen men.

Keiji continued with his assault, only growing more and more brutal as he fought on. He laughed heartfully as he jammed his pike into an officer, digging into his gut and ribs. He then flung his weapon upwards as the officer went airborne and waited. When he started to come back down Keiji hooked him in between the two prongs of his spear and used all his might to drive him into the earth. Needless to say, what's left of that guy was little more than a bloody mess.

Kotaro dug his boots into the faces of several men this day, whipping his arms across those to far reach as he felled countless rows. 2 more leaped at him only to met their end as Fuma caught them by their necks, slamming them to the ground as a 2 matching purple cylinders irradiated from their bodies as they were destroyed right under him. He then slowly looked up at the men before him, his cruel visage now engraved in the minds of countless men. He quickly arose and stretched his arm to a single soldier, grabbing him by the head as he was pulled up close to him. He admired the mans eyes for a moment...before his gauntlet shined blue and his skull was crushed in an instant. He smiled once more as the body fell.

Fuma looked directly at his prey, all of them shivering in fear of his and Keiji's might. They were all beginning to back away slowly. The pair looked back at each other in the corner of their eyes and each took a fast step forward. This was more than enough to cause the enemy troops to flee in terror. Kotaro was about to pursue after them but stopped upon noticing the bomb just below his feet.

Kotaro: Mitsun--

Boom!

The blast was strong enough to send the ninja zooming back through the air and it did so. Luckily though he was able to recover and land on his feet as he skidded across the field. He looked up to see Mitsunari and Zhang Liao staring him down.


Kotaro: And the pirate as well.

Fuma looked over to Keiji who was now under attack from the one and only Gan Ning. They both seemed to be enjoying that crazy fight. But then he stopped for a moment and raised his left gauntlet as he blocked a tri-spear from behind.

Kotaro: The Crimson Samurai of the Forgotten Age.

Yukimura pulled his spear back and readied himself as his friend, Mitsunari, and Zhang Liao rushed to his side. Kotaro turned and waved his fingers in a "come on" motion.

Kotaro: Let's make this quick. I have somewhere to be.

*** Forest - Yi Team ***

Sima Yi: It's almost time.

Sima Yi rode along, his allies in tow as they reached the end of the forest. The forest was above level of the enemy main camp so when the three burst forth from the trees they landed in the middle of the base, already hacking down and slashing up everything as they ran by on their steeds. By the time a Date scout had time to yell "enemy ambush" they had already killed 1/4 of it's inhabitants.

Masamune: What the hell!? G-get the rifles, now, NOW!!

BOOM!!!

Masamune's whole world nearly just shattered as he looked upon his weapons and ammunition storage. All of it was in flames, all of the countless guns he brought in to battle gone. Sure there were a couple of his men running around on fire but his guns...

Masamune: Hm?

Masamune noticed someone tapping on his shoulder. Curious, he turned to look and found his eyes locked with the center of Sima Yi's palm. The strategist couldn't help but smirk as a purple beam erupted into Masamune's face, sending him flying and his helmet going off.

*** Frontline Conflict - Orochi Forces ***

The wild pair and their 4 enemies were in flurry of lightning fast strikes that no normal man could ever hope to keep up with. Keiji on Ning and Yukimura and Kotaro on the other 2, all of them were moving around the battle field trading opponents and blocking for the other in perfect unison. Truly a sight to behold. Even more so that the pair could hold off against this onslaught.

Suddenly amidst the flash of steal and sweet, Kotaro halted all movement. He raised only his right arm and left leg to block the on coming attacks as if they were nothing.


Kotaro: The winds beckon.

Without another word the Fuma ninja disappeared into the night as Keiji pulled off his attack.

Keiji: Oh yeah, you know, I'm fine! I'm only outnumbered and behind enemy lines, nah, I'll be okay. You go ahead and leave me behind, Fuma! ...Douchebag. Now how'm I gonna get outta here..?

*** Date Main Camp ***

Sima Yi:
Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!

Sima Yi was laughing like a punk as Masamune tried his damnedest to hack him in two with his saber. Yi was easily able to dodge the helmetless Masamune thanks to his hotheaded anger preventing him from focusing. Whether he actually thought this was funny or he just wanted to piss Masamune off remains to be seen but either way Masamune had had enough as he pulled out his pistols and fired right at Yi.

Of course, he soon stopped when they started to ricochet off his shield. Masamune stopped and panted hard as Yi morph his shield back to a fan.


Sima Yi: Ah, Masamune. I always wondered if all that hot air and bluster was from a skilled young mind, or just a snot-nosed kid. I now see it is certainly not the former. You can't even touch me! Ha ha ha!

Masamune: SHUT UP!!!

Masamune immediately began firing upon Yi once again. Only this time instead of blocking he slid around the line of fire and right next to Masamune, his hand on his chest as a laser blew him off a distance, forcing him to drop his guns even.

Weakly, the Oshu Lord raised his shivering hand from the dirt and tried to reach his gun...only to have Yi's foot come crashing down on it, cutting him off. He looked up just in time to see Yi's black sword at his head as Nagamasa and Nene joined them, having finished up the Date defense troops.

Nagamasa: Shall we tie him up?

Nene: Actually I happen to have some handcuffs you can borrow! :D

Sima Yi:
...A bit disturbing, but it works.

Yi turned to Masamune and began fiddling with the metal cuffs, trying to understand how these things worked without having to ask one of them. Not like Masamune was going anywhere. He almost had it but stopped as he heard 2 consecutive thuds and then 2 more separate, louder thuds. He turned back around to see a much taller man standing over the unconscious Nagamasa and Nene.

Sima Yi: Kotaro!?

Yi only had the time and speed necessary to dodge the first 2 unprovoked fist the Fuma sent his way but couldn't halt the knee to his torso that sent him flying and crashing to the ground. Fortunately he was able to recover quickly and get back to his feet.

Sima Yi: What are you doing here!?

Kotaro: Sometimes I'm not even sure why I go to places. The winds of bedlam direct me as they please.

Sima Yi: So...you intend to live up to the promise you made so many nights ago.

Kotaro: Precisely. Now show me your darkest thought!

Yi morphed a shield and charged at Kotaro full speed as he did the same. When they met time seemed to slow as Fuma made the first strike, his shining blue fist just barely missing Yi's skull as he moved to dodge. As he did so Yi slung his claws across the ninja's gut, unable to hit anything but a few chains as he preformed his own dodge. However before they finished passing each other Kotaro spun around mid-dash and drove his left fist at him only to have it blocked by Yi's pitch black shield. Time reverted to normal as the completely passed each other and skipped across the dirt ground to turn back around.

Both stared at each other for a moment as Yi's fan morphed to normal and he holstered it on his waist as he released his chains as replacements. Kotaro on the other hand cracked some of the bones in his knuckles. They charged once again. But this time Yi had a plan and before Kotaro was in range to attack but already readying himself for one, Yi threw one of his chains at him. As Kotaro's fist became open Yi wrapped his chain around it and steered Kotaro around him as he rammed his heel into his back to force him against the ground.

As he was in this position Yi stood on top of him and grabbed his fan with the hand that didn't handle the chain and morph a spear. He raised it high and thrusted it down at Kotaro's head, mere inches from impaling it just before he stood up to headbutt Yi's chin. The headbutt was strong enough to send him into the air and he was high enough for Kotaro to use his chains against him. He swung his arm down and with it Sima Yi into the dirt as the chains released. He continued by stomping his foot into Yi's spine twice before he was able to roll out of the way and get to his feet.

Sima Yi: Dammit...that last tussle really hurt...

Kotaro: How dull.

Sima Yi:
Dull? Ha! Let's see how dull you think this is! It's a little something Masamune inspired me!

Sima Yi aimed his spear at Kotaro as the spear turned into a musket! He took but half a second to smirk his trademark grin before unloading onto Kotaro, bullet after bullet zooming after him. However this was even less effective than a firecracker. By a mix of amazing speed and inhuman precision Kotaro had caught every single shell fired from Yi's pitch black musket.

Kotaro: ...

Fuma chucked back the bullets as Yi caught them in a single hand, remorphing them into a sword and sheathing it. Though, he made sure to snarl while doing it. Well that didn't work. Before he could think to try something else Kotaro was already in front of him and Yi was already dodging blows. However he had had enough of dodging and the pair entered a full on melee of fist to fast to describe. Neither side doing much better than the other. But in a swift movement of his chain Yi was able to sweep the metal coil along Fuma's feet that sent him to the ground. Now he had him. Yi took out his sword and embedded it down at Kotaro. However, he disappeared and the only thing the blade met was the cold hard earth.

Yi: What!? Where did he--urk!

Kotaro: Any last words before I sever your spine?

The ninja had reappeared behind Yi in the blink of an eye and now his claw was pressed tightly against his back, dead center, where his spine was. Yi was unable to move...or so he thought.

Sima Yi: Just three.

Kotaro: Amuse me.

Yi quickly and steadily wrapped one of his chains around Kotaro's neck...

Sima Yi: GO TO HELL!!!

He used all his might to force his chain forward, almost tipping himself over in the process as Kotaro was sent flying into the still flaming ammunition pile. Yi checked his back to see he was perfectly fine. It's a good thing that worked...but would flames be enough to finish of him?

Meanwhile in the flaming rubble Kotaro began to think to himself, utterly ignoring the sneering flames around him...


Kotaro: Never have I been so close to death. That little maneuver almost snapped my neck... How interesting.

Yi looked around to see where he would appear next. He was surprised when he saw the ninja leap out of the flaming wreckage completely unscathed. He was even more surprised as he was Kotaro keep going higher and higher in his jump...and that he was a setting duck. Yi immediately shot his chain at him and as expected he grabbed it and jerked Yi up to his level.

As they clashed in mid air Yi's sword was met with the cursed steel of Kotaro's gauntlets. He broke lose his chain and used his freed hand to jab the ninja's gut, his claws just about to enter his flesh as he disappeared in a dark flash. Now Yi was stuck in mid air, awaiting the next attack. It came quicker than he expected.

Kotaro now entered a cycle of appearing and disappearing around the airborne strategist, smacking and bashing him around in several places. Luckily after the first few licks he was able to predict his moves and block and dodge the blows as they decended. Kotaro began teleporting around him rapidly as Sima Yi now started to counter the blows, spinning round and round as they fell and fought. It was moments away from when they hit the ground that Yi was able to grab him, forcing him to stay in place as he drove his sword down...straight into the dirt. Kotaro had disappeared just before they landed, evading the attack. Yi calmly stood to his feet as he began to hear the Fuma's voice crawl into his skull, however he was no where to be seen.


Kotaro: Well done, Sima Yi. More than once this night you brought me close to eternal darkness. As your reward, the winds shall blow elsewhere for a time. For a time.

Sima Yi: Pfft. Masamune?

Ignoring the fiends final words, Yi immediately turned to where Masamune was kneeled on the ground. Note the past tense in that last sentence.

Sima Yi: Right, of course he ran off.

He latched his fan back around his waist and walked to his still unconscious comrades, looking down at them. Right before he kicked both of them in the center of their faces.

Sima Yi: Get the hell up or I'm leaving you here!

Naturally the both jumped up, Nagamasa holding his nose and praying the boot mark wouldn't stay for long. Nene on the other hand...


Nene: Sima Yi! How dare you kick a lady! In the face!! Do you not have any manners at all!? I should spank you until your hiney turns red!!! >:O

Sima Yi: I, uh...fine whatever, *mumbles something incoherent yet similer to the word "sorry"*. We're returning to camp.

Nagamasa: But what happen to Masamune? And how did we end up on the ground?

Sima Yi: I'll fill you in on the way. For now, the enemy commander has retreated. This battle is over and we are the victors. We ride.

*** Koshi Castle - The Next Day ***

It was almost sunrise as what was left of the Date and Lu Bu army returned home, wollowing in their defeat. Everyone was down in the mucks. Well, except for Keiji of course, who was now resting on a stone snake statue just beyond the castle courtyard with architect long enough for him to lay down on. He rested his head against his hand and yawned as he watched the rays from the sun starting to peer over the grounds of the castle. His eyes slowly rolled over to the demonic Fuma ninja who had just appeared next to the statue.

Keiji: Mornin', Fuma.

Kotaro: I see you survived the battle.

Keiji: Yeah, no thanks to you. Turns out that big guy with the mask and the axe was still hangin' around and he helped me get outta that mess. I did like going up against Yukes again though.

A mental photograph of Keiji and the Executioner fighting off the Coalition appeared in Kotaro's mind.

Kotaro: Interesting...

Keiji: Yeah, but Masamune's not doing too well. This battle really got to him for some reason or another. He hasn't left his chambers all day.

Kotaro: Masamune is still too young to disperse any useless emotions to weigh him down like remorse for fighting a former friend such as Yi and ourselves were able.

Keiji: True dat, my chaotic little buddy. So, you see any mayhem in the near future through your freaky ninja skills?

Kotaro: Humph. *turns around* Just one thing. What we experiance today, was nothing compared to what's to the pandemonium that's to come. *disappears*

Keiji: Heh heh heh, well, I can't wait for the next rumble then! Hahahahaha!

Fade to black as Keiji's laughter fills the mourning sun rise...

...Fade back in as Cao Pi, Mitsunari, and Sima Yi reside in the throne room. Fang can be seen rushing into the room.


Fang: My lord! We have an unexpected guest coming to see you! We tried to tell him to wait for your approval but...

Cao Pi: No need to fret. Zhao Yun was so grateful for the aid in the battle last night that he sent one of his officers to join us.

Sima Yi: Truly? I wonder who Zhao Yun has to spare that he would--

Yi's voice stopped completely as they saw the man that stood before them, mouth a gap. Mitsunari actually dropped his fan in shock and Cao Pi could be seen tightly gripping the arms of his throne.

Cao Pi: No way...

Sima Yi: You've got to be ****ing me...

Mitsunari: It's...

Yuan Shao: Greetings, commoners! You are now all part of the new Yuan Shao army! Worship my nobility! :D

*** End of Chapter 7 ***

I'M NEVER MAKING A CHAPTER THIS ****ING LONG EVER AGAIN!!!!!!!!!!!

Oh, and Chapter 8 will be coming out...whenever I damn well want it to.
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And you thought I forgot about it.

*** Chapter 8 - Royal Hanayuuki Brat ***

It was the morning after the great battle that determined Shu's destiny and Cao Pi and two of his most wisest strategist stood in the throne room after receiving a visit from an unexpected guest...

Yuan Shao: Rejoice, peasants! I own you now! :D

Cao Pi: That's it. Sima Yi, prepare the troops. We have to let Zhao Yun know that we will not stand for an insult like this brought to our doorsteps.

Sima Yi: On it.

Mitsunari: Whoa! Now hold on just a minute! Do you really think that's necessary?

Cao Pi: Mitsunari. They just sent us the dysfunctional, mentally stunted Yuan Shao. Now if they had sent us a steaming bag of ox ****, I could handle that. But this!? This means war!

And of course by this point Sima Yi was already handing out spears to the men in the background.

Mitsunari: But we just rescued them! Besides, he can't be that awful.

Cao Pi then lazily pointed to Yuan Shao, who had now just finished hanging up the following pictures on the throne room wall.

http://icanhascheezburger.com/2009/10/05/funny-pictures-zen-mastah/

http://icanhascheezburger.com/2008/04/08/funny-pictures-caturday-nite-fevr/

http://icanhascheezburger.com/2009/10/04/funny-pictures-engage-tiny-attack-mode/

Yuan Shao: EPIC!!!

Mitsunari: ...Actually, you know I've got some extra bombs in my room.

???: Ha ha ha ha...Lord Cao Pi, please reconsider this.

Cao Pi: Hm? Shouldn't you be resting after the wound you suffered, Jia?

Slowly walking into the room Guo Jia could be seen smiling slightly as he entered the room to reveal his new strategist robe. In truth it wasn't much different from the first.

Guo Jia: It was not as bad as Huang Gai made it out to be. Anyways, I believe having Lord Yuan Shao in our ranks may not be such a hindrance. He does have his own army after all.

Cao Pi: Truly? ...You do realize this is YUAN SHAO, don't you? Even if, who would we have to deal with him? The man instinctively makes everyone in the room want to stab kittens everywhere he goes!

???: EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEIIIIIIIIKKK!!!!!!!

Sima Yi stopped handing spears, eyes wide as he recognized that squeal from anywhere. He braced himself for the following groping he was going to have to endure before blasting Zhang He out the window...again.

...But he was surprised when he B-lined straight to Yuan Shao.


Sima Yi: *blink, blink* Huh.

Zhang He: OH LORD YUAN SHAO YOU HAVE RETURNED!!!!!!! WE MUST GO SHOPPING AND LATER, DANCE!!! DANCE UNTIL THE MOON SETS!!!

Yuan Shao: Ah, my most loyal retainer! How have you been, what with the defecting to Wei and all?

Zhang He: Sextastic! Oh, I love what you've done with the throne room!!! :O

Yuan Shao: Epic, isn't it?

Guo Jia: ...Well that seemed to work out pretty well. Lord Zhang will have no problem with looking after Lord Yuan Shao while we integrate his army into out own. Besides, we just exhausted a great deal of resources to aid Shu. It would not be prudent to attack again.

Sima Yi: And if having him here keeps that annoying danny-boy off my back, and I mean that more literally than you think, then I'm with Jia.

Mitsunari: Makes sense.

Cao Pi: ...Very well. You have persuaded me. Have Zhang He show him around and give him a room...in the dungeon. Far away from me. Oh, and have someone strip down these God awful posters as well.

*** Xu Chang Hallway - Sima Yi & Guo Jia ***

About half an hour our so after this mornings intrusion from Yuan Shao, Zhang He was assigned his duties as Mitsunari went to go see to his army. As for the rest, they went about their duties. Some such as the two strategist walking side by side down this hallway however, don't have to do much work. Well, at least not anything that couldn't wait until tomorrow.

Sima Yi: So...Yuan Shao, eh? Didn't you fight him once?

Guo Jia: Yes, the battle of Guan Du. I remember the fear and the flames of Wu Chao as his forces were burnt to ash. That battle ensured Cao Cao's rise to power.

Sima Yi: So how is it to have him as an ally now?

Guo Jia: Not as odd as I thought it would be. But it's good to have another army added to our own. Well, it certainly doesn't seem to bother him that much either way, ha ha.

Sima Yi: Hm. Indeed. From what I heard he had a few good officers under his belt. Yan Liang and Wen Chou stick out the most.

Guo Jia: Yes, they are. Caused many Wei officers a great deal of trouble, they slew a few others that defected from Lu Bu. Wei Xu, Song Xian, and even some of our own. Guan Yu just made them look bad.

Sima Yi: And their lord certainly wasn't the brightest apple in the barrel.

Jia let out a small chuckle and continued walking with his ally. They continued on in silence for a moment before Yi asked, his curiosity getting the better of him.

Sima Yi: Are you sure you should be out and about?

Guo Jia: I don't see why I shouldn't.

Sima Yi: Cao Pi ordered you to take the day off, get some rest and recuperation. It's not wise to go against a superiors orders.

Guo Jia: It's almost refreshing to know you're still too proud to just admit you're worried about my wounds. If you'd said that to anyone else it'd have just come off as if you didn't want to talk to them anymore.

Sima Yi: *scoff* Bastard.

Guo Jia: I'm perfectly fine, Zhongda. My wounds were minor. I was just a bit too close to the bomb than I had expected. Though I appreciate the concern.

Sima Yi: I just don't want you to die before I'm done using you for my plans.

They both knew that was a flat out lie as they entered silence once again. Yi could remember it well, his reaction upon seeing Jia's form after the battle. His robe was virtually shreds, and blood and dirt was smeared across his flesh. The fact that he had to use Huang Gai as a crutch didn't really help much either...

*** Flashback - Shu Main Camp ***


Sima Yi and everyone else in Wei had returned to the Shu camp. Their losses were great but Shu was saved from death. Zhao Yun had passed out wine and food from what was left of the wood oxen Yi had sent. It was in this night they all enjoyed a moment of drink. However, one team had yet to return...

Sima Yi: Fengxiao!

At the entrance of the camp was Huang Gai, supporting Guo Jia's right half of his body as they limped further inside. Yi, Guan Ping, and a few others swarmed the pair.

Sima Yi: Jia, what happened!? Don't tell me you let that savage cause you this much pain.

Huang Gai: No, no, Lu Bu was taken care of! Just...Lord Guo Jia had a close encounter with one of my bombs...

Sima Yi: Are you telling me this is because you were too senile to properly place a few bombs!?

Huang Gai: What!? Of course not!!

Sima Yi: Bah, we'll worry about your punishment later, get him to--

Guo Jia: *weakly* Zhongda.

Sima Yi: Hm? What is it?

Jia slowly released his arm from Huang Gai's, wobbling a bit until he regained his footing. He brushed himself off a bit before speaking once more.

Guo Jia: This was entirely my failing. I miscalculated when handling the bomb I asked Huang Gai to give me. However, I will be fine with a nights rest.

Guan Ping: Are you sure? These wounds look pretty rough...

Sima Yi: As much as I dislike saying it, he's quite right.

Jia looked down at himself, burnt and bruised skin and tattered robes. It's true, these wounds looked bad and looked even worse under the remaining clothing but he knew he'd be just fine. Though it didn't look like it. Smiling lightly, he placed his hands behind his back and began walking around the camp and picking up a bottle of wine, taking a drink.

Guo Jia: As you can see, I'm perfectly fine. Ow.

He reached down and held his side where the explosion had been closest and Yi and a few others took a step forward.

Guo Jia: Well, maybe not perfectly...

The Wei and Shu warriors around him each let out their own tiny chuckles at the remark as the night continued on...

*** End Flashback ***

Yi and Jia each began laughing as they continued down the hallway from reminiscing of the later night. Truly they were a match made in heaven.

Sima Yi: It is unfortunate that we only met once before in our time. Heh, I suppose that's one thing I can thank Orochi for and mean it.

*** Xu Chang Courtyard - Mitsunari & Nagamasa ***

Nagamasa: Wow. Yuan Shao must be a great leader to have an army of this size all willing to fight for him.

Mitsunari and Nagamasa stood atop a flight of stone stairs leading into Xu Chang as they stared at the yellow and golden clad army before them. Mitsunari had been given the task of appointing them into Wei whichever way he thought best. He only knew Shao for a few minutes and he couldn't handle him so they decide to leave him out. Instead he brought Nagamasa, since his force was in the same boat as Shao's was.


Mitsunari: Oh, you'd be surprised. Well, ready for your speech?

Nagamasa: *nods* Ahem, your attention please! I am Nagamasa Azai, lord of the Azai clan. It was not but a few days ago that I...


At this point Mitsunari had already began to zone out. Not because he couldn't handle the speech, boring things like this were part of his job. his mind however was elsewhere, a thought having been sparked up after seeing Guo Jia again this mourning. His mind flowed with thoughts of the night after they had made it back to Xu Chang. Everyone was tired and all of them headed to their chambers, including Mitsunari...

*** Flashback ***


Mitsunari stretched and let out a quiet yawn as he proceeded down the hallway. He and Cao Pi had made sure everyone headed to their rooms for the night and got well rested. There wasn't a sound in the entire castle...until his walking brought him up to a door. He almost walked pasted it but stopped, taking a few steps backwards.

Mitsunari: I hear...voices? At this day of night? Wait a minute...this is Guo Jia's room.

He slowly and softly pressed his right ear against the door, trying to hear the voices more clearly. One voice he recognized as Guo Jia. The other...the other was a bit too faint to decipher. He pressed harder and focused on the conversation.

Guo Jia: Yes, I understand that it was incredibly reckless of me.

???: ...

Guo Jia: Yes.

???: ...

Guo Jia: I understand. But...

???: ...

Guo Jia: I had to know, my lady, the full extent. Just how much I could--

Mitsunari lost track for a moment. My lady? Who does he have in there? Maybe he was getting more "recuperation" than rest... The strategist then took a gamble, feeling he had to see who he was with. He eased the door open slowly as he just barely peered one of his eyes through the crack. He was just now able to see Jia in his sleep wear but then...

Guo Jia: What? I'll take care of it.

Mitsunari immediately bent straight up and kept a hand on the door, making it seem as though he'd just walked to the door as Jia slung it open in front of him.

Guo Jia: Lord Ishida?

Mitsunari: Ah, Guo Jia. I thought I heard a voice on my way to my chambers and...

Guo Jia: Oh, must have been sleep talking. *opens door further* I often dream of participating in my late lord Cao Cao's battles. Chi Bi, Wu Zhang...

Mitsunari: I see... You did sound as if you were being chewed out by a Cao in there. I'll let you get back to rest, you need it.

Guo Jia: Good night to you, Lord Ishida.

*** End Flashback ***

Mitsunari: I still think that sounded a bit too clear for sleep talk...

Nagamasa: Lord Mitsunari? Mitsunari?

Mitsunari: Hm? Yes?

Nagamasa: I'm finished with my speech. I didn't think it was that boring but...

Mitsunari: No, no, you did fine. They seem much more at ease. Alright, men of the Yuan clan! Listen up!

*** Xu Chang Dungeon - Zhang He & Yuan Shao ***


Zhang He: And here we have your room!

Shao walked skittishly into the stone covered room. It was rancid. Blood, dust, and bone fragments were slung across the walls, everything in the room was either rotten or rusted and there was a partially complete skeleton hanging from a noose on the ceiling. Chains were latched onto the walls and sharp torture devices were everywhere. And the smell...that made Xu Zhu's armpit sweat smell good.

Yuan Shao: I love it! :D

Shao then noticed the posters of Lyndsey Lohan, Paris Hilton, and Miley Cirus on the walls.

Yuan Shao: You expect someone as noble and awesome as I to rest in this...this piss hole!?

Zhang He: Well we do have a free room right next to lord Cao Pi's... Though he did say specifically to put you in the furthest room from here...but I suppose doing the exact opposite wouldn't hurt. :D

Yuan Shao: Precisely old chum! Now let's--

Ring, ring!

Yuan Shao: *answers cell* Hello, commoner.

DeapThroat: Shao-Bzzzt-map. Impor-bzzzt-. Urgent-bzzzt-NOW!

Yuan Shao: Bored now. *hangs up* Now let's annoy the hell out of Cao Pi! :D

*** Dining Hall - Sima Yi & Guo Jia ***

Sima Yi and Guo Jia could now be seen sitting across each other from a table, awaiting their brunch from the serving waitress as they happened to have missed breakfast. A few other officers were enjoying their own plates of food around the vast hall as well. Everyone was relaxed as this day was their day to rest after a long battle and after all, don't they deserve it?


Guo Jia: Hm...

Sima Yi: Tired of waiting are you?

Guo Jia: No, no, I'm sure the soup will be here soon. It just occurred to me that when I challenged Lu Bu I did not see Diao Chan and she was not reported anywhere else correct?

Sima Yi: Yes, she wasn't at the main camp either.

Guo Jia: So then where was she? Lu Bu isn't the brightest individual but he wouldn't risk leaving her alone at a base or at Koshi Castle. Especially not with Dong Zhuo in the same army...

Sima Yi: An interesting thought but hardly one that concerns us. Unless your hinting at kidnapping Diao Chan...

Guo Jia: No, no, that would just send Lu Bu on a blinding mad rage to kill us all. It's just--ah, thank you.

The waitress had finally arrived with the pair's bowls. She placed them, along with some sake bowls and cup, down before the strategist and bowed.

Waitress: Careful, it's quite hot.

Yi nodded the waitress off and dipped a spoon into the bowl, taking a small sip to see just how hot it was. He nearly burnt his lip as he set it back in the bowl.


Sima Yi: Bah, worthless servant...

Jia on the other hand raised his palm above the soup and released two or three ice cubes into it. He then dug his spoon into it, spun it around in the steaming hot liquid for a moment or two, and took a sip out of it. Now it was just the right temperature.


Sima Yi: Ha ha ha! Pouring ice into your soup to cool it. So simple and yet ingenues at the same time.

Guo Jia: Please, I was simply using the resources I had to hasten my objective. Certainly nothing ingenues.

Sima Yi: Even still, no normal person would have thought of that. They'd just waste time blowing on bite after bite.

Guo Jia: Ha, perhaps so. Oh, I'm sorry did you want--

Jia words were cut short as both men stopped in their tracks as a dark blue blur appeared at the end of the table and after a micro second of flashing it took form into a figure Yi had remembered from a battle many nights ago.

Sima Yi: Ninja, what business have you here?

Hanzo: I have a message of dire importance for your master.

Sima Yi: Oh great, I guess now Wu wants our help as well then? When did Cao Pi get so damned generous...

Hanzo: The Hanayuuki clan has been reported moving to this area.

Guo Jia: Ah, yes, they are the clan with the greatest smiths in the land. We've had an alliance with them for--

Sima Yi: Yes, yes, I've done my homework. I know everything about them. In return for protection from Orochi, they make sure our weapons are the best. Why are you telling us this, ninja?

Hanzo: Princess Tamako is with them.

At the sound of the name "Tamako" silverware could be heard dropping into plates all around as everyone in the hall tuned in to the conversation.

Sima Yi: ...And? So the 12-year-old who somehow or another became leader of the clan is coming herself, she probably just wants to play with Nene.

Nene: *from far back with big anime fashion head* HELL NO!!!!! I'M NOT PLAYING WITH THAT SPOILED LITTLE RAT!!!!!

Guo Jia: Zhongda, you've never met the Princess in person have you?

Sima Yi: No but I did hear she was a little...insufferable.

Nene: A LITTLE!?!?

Guan Ping: Lady Nene, please!

Guo Jia: We've met her before...it was...horrible.

Sima Yi: On a scale of Zhang He to Yuan Shao?

Guo Jia: Yoshimoto Imagawa.

Sima Yi: ...We have to warn Cao Pi now.

*** Throne Room ***


Cao Pi: I see... That is most troubling.

Cao Pi sat atop his throne as usually, nervously planning on how to deal with this new event. In the room was many of Wei's core officers as well as Hanzo Hattori, all in about the same shape as Cao Pi. The Wei warlord raised his head, finally deciding how to go about this.

Cao Pi: Alright, you lot deal with this while I hide out in the dungeon for the rest of the day.

Mitsunari: ...What?

Cao Pi: Yeah, see ya. Make sure to tell her I'm off taking care of something important.

Without so much as a glance back at his officers the young warlord stood up from his throne and slowly walked out of the room, closing the door behind him. They all stared in a blank shock.


Nagamasa: Heh heh, it's...it's a joke I'm sure. He'll turn right back around with the real plan. I'm sure.

...

...

...

Oichi: ...Is she really that bad?

Sima Yi: From what I hear she's near Yuan Shao's level. Speaking of which where the hell is--

Just then the door was forced open yet again by the same hands as before, Cao Pi's. He calmly walked into the room, leaving the door open as his retainers continued to stare.

Cao Pi: She saw me. Shao let her in. She want's to see all of us in the throne room. Now.

Large gulps could be heard from multiple officers in the room. Cao Pi waved at them to follow as they all exited the room. One officer however turned around.

Mitsunari: Assassin, aren't you going to head back to Ieyasu? You can be sure to let him know we appreciated the heads up.

Hanzo: My mission was to ensure the meeting did not go out of hand. I shall act as a guardian.

Mitsunari: Well with someone with Sima Yi's temper here I can see why Ieyasu would think that would be necessary. Most appreciated.

The pair were about to head for the door as Nene's head suddenly popped through.

Nene: Mitsunari! You get in here this instant! You're not getting out of this one!! You too, you teddy-bear sleeper!

Mitsunari: ...You sleep with a teddy bear?

Hanzo: **** you.

*** Throne Room - Every Single Wei Officer ***

Cao Pi: Oh, she's sitting on my throne now. Of course.

Sima Yi: ..? The hell? He always threatens to execute me when he catches me sitting there. >_>

The Wei officers poured into the room like cockroaches, including Hanzo, skittering and forming around the tiny little girl resting sideways in the throne with legs resting over the chairs arms. Her cute innocent smile had everyone in the room...scared ****less. To her sides were one of her personal maids and on the other was Yuan Shao, for some reason or another. She kept the smile as she hopped off the throne and began to speak.

Tamako: Hello everybody. I'm Princess Tamako Hanayuuki, leader of the Hanayuuki clan. I don't think I know all of you.

Gan Ning: ...Well I think the little tyke's alright, I dunno what you guys were so worried about.

Cao Pi: O_O

Tamako: HOW DARE YOU REFER TO ME AS ANYTHING OTHER THAN PRINCESS!?!?!?!?

Before Gan Ning had a chance to react at this sudden burst of anger the pirate was already having his chest drilled into by the multiple tiny fist of the princess, finishing with a kick to the nads that sent him over a foot into the air. Gan Ning was now huddled into the floor messaging his groin in a pile of his own shame.

Tamako: So how's everybody doing today? :)

Sima Yi: O_O

Nagamasa: O_O

Oichi: O_O

Yuan Shao: :D

Cao Pi: We, we are doing delightful now that you've taken the time to grace us with your presence. *nudges Zhang Liao*

Zhang Liao: *nods and drags Gan Ning out of the room*

Tamako: Yeah, well it gets boring over at the castle so I thought I'd hang out with some of my friends. ^_^

Sima Yi: *whispers* Jia! What the hell, you never mentioned she goes ballistic!

Guo Jia: *whispers* I thought you already knew all about her?

Sima Yi: *whispers* Oh, screw you!

Tamako: HEY!!! I'm speaking!

Yi and Jia immediately straighten their backs like boards, directing their full attention to the little princess.

Guo Jia: I, I'm terribly sorry. We were just...discussing, er-

Sima Yi: How awesome you are.

Tamako: *turns her back* Hm, that's true I do do some wicked awesome things don't I? I guess I'll let that one slide this time lowly peasants.

The hands of Guo Jia, Mitsunari, and Nagamasa could be seen rushing to cover Yi's mouth as he muffled out something incoherent.

Sima Yi: MOWMY MEAMANTM!?

Tamako: So where's that adorable little cute man at?

Sima Yi: Adorable little cute man?

Yi looked around the room to see who would possibly risk missing this meeting. At first he thought of Guan Ping but he was standing right beside Nene, as usual. For some reason she was pouting. He then thought of any other candidates. Pang Tong was short but he was in the corner farthest away from Xiahou Yuan, though apparently this was enough to snap him out of his trance as that "O_O" look was gone now. Xu Zhu was cute in a kiddy kinda way but he was off in his own world rubbing his stomach next to Xu Huang. So then who...

Sima Yi: Cao Ren? He's the cute one? Actually I do remember Fang saying something about that before...

Tamako: You know where that hunk of manly rock is? :D

Sima Yi: Er... Cao Pi?

Cao Pi: ...

*** Somewhere in Xu Chang ***

Cao Ren: Meow, meow. (This is the perfect disguise.)

Slowly waddling along through the hallways of Xu Chang, the Wei general Cao Ren could be seen...inside a small sized Hello Kitty costume. Otherwise known as the "Wei Mascot Costume" they bring out around Halloween. He ran across many soldiers along the way but the only thing they could think to do was to stare blindly...

Cao Ren: Purr, purr-ow~. (Now I'll not have to worry about that freakishly strong child. I'm so sly. ^_^)

*** Throne Room ***


Cao Pi: Unfortunately he was sent to...patrol a base under Orochi threat.

Tamako: Hm? Really? Are you sure? Okay! *hops back on the throne* So anyways I trust our super special uber weapons are serving you well with stabbing stuff, huh?

Mitsunari: Yes, your smiths have proven most useful. Without them half of us in the room would be dead right now. Isn't that right?

Several faces such as Xiahou Dun and Xu Huang hesitantly, but willfully, nod in agreement with the strategist.

Tamako: He he, I told ya they would! I come from a long line of amazing smithereens, we could take a broken burnt up sword and make it a work of art! Like this one time--

Guan Ping: *whisper* Oh lord, she's starting rambling about how awesome she is. Again.

Nene: HUMPH!

Oichi: Um, lady Nene, what has you so upset? You seem worse off than any body.

Nene: No reason at all. Humph! Certainly not something to do with her being an insolent spoiled brat! HUMPH!

Guan Ping: Nene doesn't like to talk about it, Lady Oichi. Here, come in closer... *whispers something incoherent*

*** Flashback - Tamako's Castle ***


Nene, Tamako, and one of her maids now holding a plate with some finely crafted china on it could all be seen standing in the hall. Tamako was furious and totally chewing out the maids hide. Incidentally this maid is the same one standing next to the throne at Xu Chang now.


Tamako: You think to make my play guest wait so long on a cup of tea!? HOW DARE YOU!?!

Maid: I, I'm so sorry Princess!!

Tamako: I demand you apologize and bow to us for every exact second you kept her, and ME, waiting!! >:O

Maid: B-b-b-but Princess!

Nene: Hey! Don't be so mean to you maids! They work very hard just to keep you happy and you just yell at them! Now if you don't straighten up your attitude I'm gonna spank you until your rear turns red! D:<

Maid: O_O

Exactly 2.3 seconds later Nene could be seen bent over Tamako's lap as the princess proceeded to mercilessly paddle her backside, even beyond the point where it turned red.


Tamako: YOU NEVER EVER THREATEN TO SPANK THE PRINCESS!!!!!

Nene: *crying* I'M SORRY, I'M SORRY, PLEASE STOP!!!! I HAD NO IDEA THAT HURT THIS MUCH!!!

*** End Flashback ***

Oichi:
Oh-oh my... o_O

Nene: *tears forming at the corner of her eyes* Children should not behave that way!!! D':

Unfortunately, Princess Tamako was STILL rambling about her uber prowess in normal everyday activities and smithery. However not all the room had a story about Nene to keep them occupied as over half the room was already bored out of their minds. Xiahou Yuan for example was banging his head against the back wall, hoping the light blows would eventually knock him out. This continued for a long period until suddenly a ringing could be heard as Tamako halts and turns to Yuan Shao.

Tamako: Hey, your tiny thing is distracting me.

Yuan Shao: K. *does nothing as the ringing continues*

Sima Yi: Oh my God, he's so freaking stupid...

The princess's eyes narrowed as she leaped up on top of the throne and drove an axe kick straight down upon Shao's skull, embedding his face into the stone floor below. No, I mean literally embedding it. There is now and forever will be an imprint of Yuan Shao's face in the ground beside Cao Pi's throne. If not for his helmet that probably would have cracked his skull open. Conveniently during this Shao's cell flew out of his pocket and directly into Tamako's hand. Her teenage instincts kicked in as she immediately learned how to operate it and flipped it open.

Tamako: What commoner dares to interrupt my fun time!?

DeapThroat: Quickly, let me speak to Sima Yi! The fate of the world is at stake! ...Not really, but tell him that so he'll pick up!

Tamako: He's busy. *crushes the cell in one hand* Where was I?

Huang Gai: Somewhere between uber and awesome I believe.

Tamako: Ah, right. Nice memory old timer! Now as I was saying...

And thus the agonizing preaching began yet again. A couple of death glances were sent to the Wu veteran for starting her up again but they went away as they returned to listen to her speeches about how she did minuscule things like tie her shoe with one hand, climb and save a cat from a tree, and legally bought all the turtles in the world. Why the latter, I have no idea. Everybody felt like death until...

Tamako: So as I said before my skills with the weapons crafting is over nine thousand.

Zhang He: Pfft, your "skill?"

The room went totally silent as if a gun shot was fire.


Tamako: YOU DOUBT MAH POWAH!?!?!? *lightning effect*

And in a sudden flash of anime style movement Tamako had jumped across the room and rushed out to the blacksmiths chambers of the castle, leaving a gust of wind behind. With her where the weapons of three officers. Zhang He looked to see that not one, but BOTH of his Peacock Talons were gone as he gasped in fright! Yuan Shao, whom had awakened from his slumber, couldn't help but snicker at this...until he looked down and saw the Sword of Honor was missing as well. And even worse was that Hanzo, the innocent bystander in all this, had his Shadow Fang ripped from his grasp.

Hanzo: ...Unpleasant.

Sima Yi: Ha ha ha, serves you right, fools!

And naturally as Yi looked down his fan was gone from his waist as well.

Sima Yi: What the hell!? She took my FAN!? How the HELL is she going to make that better!? It's a ****ing FAN!!!

Yi then removed his smirk and glared at Zhang He, saying nothing...moments before wrapping a chain around his throat, choking the life from his body.

Cao Pi: Yi, let him go.

Sima Yi: ...

Cao Pi: Yi...

Sima Yi: ...

Zhang He: *turning purple*

Cao Pi: Sima Yi!

The strategist hesitantly removed the metal coils from his ally's neck as he regained his breath. He scoffed loudly as the chain retracted into his sleeve. He immediately turned and rushed out of the room after Tamako. After all, how often do you come across a shape shifting fan?! If the little princess damaged it too much then...well then he was going to rip Zhang He's intestines out and make him look at them. Soon after he was gone Yuan Shao followed along, Zhang He in tow. And Hanzo, well he had already disappeared in his ninja flash to chase after her. Cao Pi then turned to the maid.

Cao Pi: So...just how is the princess when it comes to blacksmith?

Maid: ...I'll have our smiths make some new weapons for your allies.

*** Hallway - Cao Ren ***

Cao Ren:
Meow, meow, MEooow! (I should seriously consider dressing up as this for Halloween!)

As the short Cao Ren continued his trek down the halls of Xu Chang, wobbling from one foot to the other, Princess Tamako could be seen rushing down the hall behind him with all four of the formally mentioned warrior's weapons. However as she zoomed past she halted directly in front of Ren, eyeing his costume curiously.

Cao Ren: *nervously* Me-ow? (Please don't kill me. T_T)

Tamako: ...Oooooh, it's Hello Kitty!

Cao Ren: *sigh* Meow, me--YEEEEWWW!!! (Well, that was a close one now wasn't--ACK, MY ROCKS!!!)

Tamako: I hate Hello Kitty!!

In case you couldn't tell by the clever innuendo, Tamako had just kicked Cao Ren in his groin since she was unable to deal pain with her fists at the moment. Feeling accomplished after this she now began skipping down the rest of the way to the smiths room. Cao Ren was left to wallow in his pain just as Gan Ning, on his knees and rubbing his manly parts.

That kick hurt so much infact that he was left on the ground even by the time Sima Yi and the other three caught up. And when you see a Hello Kitty on the floor in that situation you can't help but stop for a second.


Sima Yi: What in blazes is this thing doing here!? It's not even Halloween yet! ...Wait, Cao Ren?

Cao Ren: Me...ooow... (Yup.)

Sima Yi: Since you're on the floor in pain I'm guessing Tamako went though here. Which way?

Cao Ren: *weakly gets up and points left*

Sima Yi: Very good then. You lot, come. Hm?

Zhang He: ...

Sima Yi: Oh, I don't like that look in his eyes...

Zhang He: ...OH MY GOD HELLO KITTY IT'S SO FREAKIN' ADORA-*is lazor'd*

Cao Ren: Meow? *is lazor'd*

Yuan Shao: :D *is lazor'd*

Hanzo: *disappears and reappears to dodge lazor*

Sima Yi: Hm. I feel a little better now.

Sima Yi and Hanzo now continued on ahead, Zhang He and Shao following once recovering. They transverse the corridors, following the trail of frightened soldiers. They moved as fast as they could but once they entered the smiths room they were met with Princess Tamako...standing over their weapons with a blacksmith's apron on. However she was in the way of the weapons and they couldn't see them yet.

Hanzo: Shadow Fang.

Tamako: Oh goody, you're all here. ^_^ So which one of you want's their new weapon first?

Yuan Shao: I demand you return my sword to me at once!

Tamako: ...Uh, you don't want yours yet. >_> Here you go butterfly man!

Tamako reached behind her and shuffled her hands around a bit until she pulled out both of Zhang He's weapons...well, technically it was just the one. During the "smithing" his talons were fused together, a few of the blades were missing and one was just barely hanging on the base, and somehow or another the base part was morphed into a putrid green and black color.

Zhang He fainted upon sight. Tamako, shrugging it off, kicked him away and threw the talon on him, probably impaling him.

Tamako: Well he handle that better than I thought. ^_^;

Hanzo: Shadow Fang!

Yuan Shao: My sword! >:O

Tamako: Watch the tone. Here.

The little princess once again reached behind her, fiddling away with her arms until she somehow felt the correct weapon. She whipped it out to reveal the Sword of Honor...bent and jagged, much like a lightning bolt would be. Thankfully at least the handle was left untouched, as Shao felt for himself waving it around a bit.

Yuan Shao: I love it! :D

Tamako: Seriously?! Thanks! Here's 10,000 gold. ^o^

Sima Yi: O_o

Tamako: Now let's see who's ne--

Hanzo: Shadow Fang!!

Tamako: Next! Here you go, mister gloomy! I think you'll really like it!

After another reach behind her back Tamako brought forth the new and improved Shadow Fang.

Hanzo: You...

Tamako: Behold, THE MEGA LAZOR SHADOW HANAYUUKI FANG OF DEATH MK. 9001!!!!!!!!!!!

The ninja wasn't able to speak at this point. His kusarigama's basic shape was there but it had so many attachments to it could barely be called such a weapon. On the back of the blade was a gun barrel the size of a musket which made it unbalanced, the blade itself was so long it looked more like the scythe a reaper would use so that made it even harder to hold, along the chain spikes were added all across it so trying to swing it would just get his hands cut all to hell, and finally on the end instead of a light weight was a Mega Particle Cannon larger than Ieyasu's boom stick that shoots an incredibly powerful beam at the enemy but to activate it one must state that he "is'a firin' his lazor" in bold letters. It also came with a scouter holstered on the handle so he could tell his enemies power levels.

Hanzo: ...

Tamako: C'mon, you gotta admit that's awesome.

Hanzo: ...

No longer saying a word, the ninja grabs his weapon and drags it out of the room slowly as best he can. At this point, Sima Yi REALLY didn't have high hopes for his weapon.

Tamako: Sima Yi! Your fan.

This time considerably faster than before the Princess reached behind and pulled out Yi's fan...exactly the same as it was before, only now with a small Hanayuuki clan symbol on the handle along with a tiny anime fashioned head of Tamako smiling wide. Yi took the fan, eying it. He wasn't exactly pleased but after looking at the previous weapons he knew it could have been worse so he figured it better to count his blessings now and thank her.

Sima Yi: Yes, well, thank you for the...enhancement of my fan...

Tamako: Yeah, yeah, you can worship me later. Begone!

Sima Yi: Um, but... You gave Shao--

Tamako: JUDO CHOP!

Naturally from an attack as powerful as that the resulting blow to his neck knocked him out on the floor next to Zhang He, swirls where his eyes should be as the screen blackens...

*** Medical Room ***

...The screen fades back into color as Yi's eye's slowly start to open. His vision is blurry as it comes into focus he sees a particularly beautiful face, exactly like that of a woman's coming closer to his, only inches away from contact as he was able to fully recognize the face.


Sima Yi: AAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!!! ZHANG HE JUST WHAT THE HOLY HELL DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING!?!?!?!!?

Zhang He: Oh, how marvelous! I thought a passionate kiss would awaken you from your slumber, and it had done so before it even happened! Now, let us see if the real thing can completely rejuvenate you Master Sima--

And by this point in the discussion Yi had already blasted He with a laser that sent him into the ceiling above and out into the air until a star effect could be seen.

Sima Yi: I freaking HATE that creature!

Yi looked around his room. He found himself surrounded by medical tables, Yuan Shao, and Nene in a nurses outfit. Apparently she's the new nurse. Though the thought of her psychotic hands operating on him wasn't exactly something he'd want her doing. Maybe if she didn't have sharp instruments at hand...

Nene: Goody, you're awake! I thought I might have accidentally killed you while I was operating. :D

Sima Yi: Right now with that "Princess" in the castle even something like that doesn't frighten me...

Nene: Oh no, after she knocked you out the *voices goes deeper* evil little hellion of meanie stink *returns to normal* went home out of boredom.

Yi let out a breath of fresh air at that. He DID NOT want to deal with that scary little girl ever again. Just as this happened Yuan Shao's cell started to ring yet again.

Sima Yi: ...Didn't Tamako crush that thing in her hand?

Yuan Shao: Who's Tamako?

Sima Yi: -_-

Yuan Shao: *answers* Speak, commoner. Yeah, here he is. *tosses the phone to Yi*

Sima Yi: Hello?

DeapThroat: Finally! Do you have any idea how many times I've tried to get a hold of you on this thing?

Sima Yi: Why didn't you just call my cell phone instead of Shao's?

DeapThroat: What's a cell phone?

Naturally, Yi threw the phone against the nearest wall and shot a laser into it for good measure. About half a second after that a techno version of the DW6 theme began to play from his phone. He reached into his robe and answered angerly.

Sima Yi: Hello..?

DeapThroat: Hi! I just realized I can call your cell phone! :D

Sima Yi:
...I don't know who you are, I don't know what you want, all I know is I want you dead.

DeapThroat: Meet me in Xu Chang's dungeon! We have something urgent to discuss in private! Oh, and bring Shao with you as well.

Sima Yi: You just contra... Okay, sure whatever I've dealt with way too much stupidity today to argue anymore. *hangs up* Shao, follow me.

Yuan Shao: K.

*** Hallway - Mitsunari ***

As soon as Princess Tamako was gone from sight, Mitsunari was focusing on stabilizing the moral that was shattered upon her visit. Some such as Gan Ning however, they won't be back to normal for a while. As he scavenged the halls for any more wounded souls he came across Hanzo making his way for the exit, his new kusarigama clipped onto his waist. He approached the shadow with haste, fearing that he'd simply disappear in a flash like he likes to do so much.


Mitsunari: Ah, Hanzo. You're leaving now?

Hanzo: The day has lifted, and the shadows roam free again. Now is the time to return to my master. Your men?

Mitsunari: They're fine. We appreciate you staying to help keep the peace...and sorry for your weapon.

Hanzo nodded to his former enemy and began to proceed to the exit once again. However, Mitsunari's hand was placed on his shoulder as he stopped once again, peering his head to his side to see him out of the corner of his shrouded face.

Mitsunari: Oh, and ninja, the next time you want to spy on us for your lord, remember that Wei only gives warning once. We're not blind. You don't want to show your head here again unless you want it cut off.

And with this Mitsunari's hand was released from the shinobi's shoulder as he moved to take care of his other duties. Hanzo let out not a single sound as he took in the threats before disappearing into the darkness once again...

*** Dungeon - Yi & Shao ***


Sima Yi: Alright, I'm here. Now come out of the shadows.

Yuan Shao: The noble Yuan family commands it!

???: Over here.

Yi and Shao both turned around to catch the figure of a man in a trench coat with matching hat and dark round glasses. His face and body was hidden by the shadows so only the outlining of his body could be seen. Yi raised an eyebrow at this figure.

???: My name...is DeapThroat.

Sima Yi: Right, so what do you want of me?

DeapThroat: I have come to tell you the tale of a young samurai, a samurai of great strength and his dark tale. His name...is Mitsuhide Akechi. You have not heard of his tale during your time in the ranks of Orochi but you may have heard of him before.

Sima Yi: Yes...from what I heard he was quite the clever one.

A black and white flashback sequence will now commence as DeapThroat tells the story of Mitsuhide. Now scenes of Mitsuhide speaking with and bowing before Nobunaga shows on the screen, flipping to different scenes of the same nature as he speaks.

DeapThroat: Mitsuhide Akechi was Nobunaga Oda's greatest vassal, gaining his trust and respect and becoming more closer to him than any other. Perhaps even more so than his own wife. However, back in the samurai's time he betrayed his lord, challenging him for his own ambitions and realizations.

Mitsuhide and Nobunaga SW2 fight cutscene now takes place, ending with Nobunaga being shot in the back.

DeapThroat: But in the final moments of the pair's climatic battle, neither found themselves able to kill the other as neither wanted a world without the other. But then some douche bag came by and shot Nobunaga, but that's a different story. It was around this time that Orochi started sucking up people into his world, and after this incident where Nobunaga was returned to the living...

Mitsuhide and Nobunaga now shown fighting together back to back.

DeapThroat: Mitsuhide returned to being his vassal, fighting for his lord against Orochi. But the warrior was not the same after that. His ambitions filled his subconscious mind with the desire for darkness, dark powers that surpassed even Nobunaga. The raging desire that he could no longer hide sent him into despair and then...

The screen flashes to show Mitsuhide's face, skin pale and eyes bright red with blood.

DeapThroat: Well then he hit rock bottom as you would say. Darkness enveloped him and now he is wondering the land. His motives, I can't say. Where he is, I don't know. But I can tell you this much; he's looking for blood.

Flashback sequence ends.


Sima Yi: So this samurai, you think he will surface soon?

DeapThroat: No, I think he already has and you just haven't heard about it yet.

Sima Yi: And why are you telling me this?

DeapThroat: Isn't it obvious? I'm Yuan Shao's adviser, so you and him needed to be warned about it.

Yuan Shao: :D

Sima Yi: So...Shao has an adviser named DeapThroat, that apparently lives in Xu Chang's dungeon, that is also a semi-all knowing figure within this insane creation the author calls a story?

DeapThroat: Yeah, pretty much.

Sima Yi: Right, well, you're full of it, Shao's mental, and I'm going to bed now.

Yi immediately left for some well deserved rest, leaving Shao and Deapthroat behind.


DeapThroat: ...Wanna play Pong?

Yuan Shao:
Hells yeah!

*** Hallway - Just Outside Yi's Room ***


Sima Yi was tired. With the princess' visit and the previous battle which he was still a little sore from, he needed another nights worth of rest. He was in the hallway to his room and almost there to the door as well until he heard the frantic sounds of footsteps tapping against the floor, echoing throughout the empty and silent halls of Xu Chang. Upon further waiting he saw the source of the noise approach him, bowing before him.

Sima Yi: Fang? What are you doing here at this hour? And why are you so panicked?

Fang: M-master...Master Sima Yi! We've lost all contact with one of our western bases! As well as the village that was built around it! We sent a small unit to investigate, and now our spies report that they have disappeared.

Sima Yi: What? It couldn't be...was he really telling the truth all along? ...I see. Send a 500 man squad to see about what had happened. If they do not return by in the morning, I shall direct this to Lord Cao Pi.

Fang: Yes, my lord!

And with that Fang returned to his sprinting, running as fast as he could to gather the necessary troops. Yi moved to his door, putting a hand on the doorknob before stopping to think to himself about the situation. If DeapThroat was really speaking the truth then...

Sima Yi: ...Mitsuhide...

Yi opens the door and closes it shut on the camera, screen fades to black afterwords...

*** End of Chapter 8 ***

...Kinda.

Introducing the latest segment in the Legend of Sima Yi, "Yuan Shao's Noble Guide to the Warriors!" The Noble Warriors Guide will appear at the end of every following chapter from here on out. The Noble Warriors Guide are to be funny shorts of various warriors chronicled by the one and only, Yuan Shao. Enjoy!

<The Noble Warriors Guide intro starts with Yuan Shao flying by the screen with rainbows shooting out of his ass and propelling him forward until the entire screen is covered in rainbows. The rainbows are then whipped away by DeapThroat and his squeegee, whose face is still hidden in shadow>

Noble Warriors Guide 1: Cao Pi's Insomnia


Screen fades in to Cao Pi in Wei styled PJs, hidden under his covers with a pillow covering his head with Zhen Ji rolled over facing the other side of the bed, fast asleep. As the screen fades further in we can hear Smooth Criminal by Micheal Jackson playing in the background...


Cao Pi: Damn that Zhang He! I precisely said to put Yuan Shao in the room FURTHEST from me! Now he's right next to mine dancing with Zhang He, and he won't SHUT OFF THAT HORRID NOISE!!! And how the hell can Zhen sleep through this?

Cao Pi pushes the pillow into his ears harder, rolling back and forth in his bed as that same song repeated again and again and again. It was so loud by now it felt as if it was in the very room with him! Now starting to quiver with anger, Pi leaned up, snarling.

Cao Pi: That's it! I can't stand it! That damned song is melted into my head now!! I'm going to--hm?

Cao Pi stopped as he was somehow able to hear the music tune down as he heard the door to Shao's room slam open. He listened closer.

Yuan Shao: Sima Yi! :D

Zhang He: Ah, how wonderful Master Sima Yi! Obviously you have come to join in our dancing and merry--AAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!!!!

Cao Pi could be seen smiling quietly to himself as the sound of several dozens of Yi's lasers were fired into the warlord's chambers, and he noted the extra powerful one that was used to stop whatever system Shao had as the generator to that song. The only following sound was that of Yi closing the door behind him as he left.

Cao Pi: Thank. God.

Finally in silence, Pi rested his head against his pillow and shut his eyes at last. He could feel his body becoming limp as he was a mere baby step away from that wonderful slumber...until...

Zhen Ji: FISHSTICKS!!!! :O Oh, my lord! I had the dream again, you must comfort me!

Cao Pi: -_- I hate my life...

<The Noble Warriors Guide ending begins as Yuan Shao flies around in a white suit and diamond glove styled after MJ a few times before crashing head first into the screen, shattering it upon impact>

*** End of NWG 1 ***
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