| My Post on AR; Not a Good Bye, Just my Thoughts | |
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| Tweet Topic Started: May 30 2009, 09:13 AM (105 Views) | |
| Kaliet | May 30 2009, 09:13 AM Post #1 |
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Administrator
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(( I know that we all want to leave the drama behind us, but for those already gone I decided to post my response to everything here so everyone can see how I tried to handle it peaceably. )) I am not posting this in flames because the last thing I want, or have ever wanted was drama. All I want to do in this case is share my thoughts, as I know I have been silent for a while on the subject of current events. Honestly, I have been afraid my silence might be misconstrued as a lack of caring or respect but honestly, nothing could be further from the truth. I have loved my time in the guild, and have appreciated and liked everyone within, and was taken aback by the pride, happiness and energy I felt when I first joined as everyone worked hard and pushed together to try and work for a single goal- Level 30 and the Guild Hall. Back then everyone seemed at peace more or less, working together for a common goal and RPing while we did it. Interacting with Mik, Aey, Emin and many others made it easier for me to deal with everything going horribly wrong in my own life. Then I was forced to leave, but always thought of coming back and getting to spend time with everyone again, but nothing seemed the same. RP was few and far between and I missed seeing those who has left, as well as those still around who didn’t seem to be interested in RPing anymore. I don’t want it to seem like I’m pointing fingers or placing blame, but Mik and especially Aey’s absence in RP was a noticeable gap that was a heavy weight on my heart. Not because you both were leaders, but because interacting with you both was a breath of fresh air, the fun playful attitudes made me smile, and things like Mik borrowing the bit of Aedrias’s armor to defend himself from Aey fling stones still makes me laugh. These memories are what kept me around even though I had this sinking empty feeling that nothing was quite the same. Whether it is a positive or negative character trait is up for everyone to decide on their own, but I am the type of person who hates complaining. Instead I prefer to see problems as challenges waiting for a solution and proactively seek to conquer them. For some reason this leads to people using me to vent to, so I ended up hearing many different people express the same discontent that I was feeling which prompted me to try and start doing something about it. At first I tried to start small, and every day I was logged on, I made one attempt to start and engage others in RP, this led to the same people replying time and time again, which was nice but however I am certain that others felt hesitant to jump in, so I started talking to people directly in tells to get them to join in despite being nervous. Yet something was still missing, that feeling of unity we had before with RP and it was then that my good friend Koge who stood by my side for three years helping me run our RP group on FFXI wanted to start up his own tavern. Everyone who regularly RPed had expressed over and over again that they wanted such a thing, so we started to work on the organization of it knowing that we could find a way for it to plausibly work as a bunch of gypsies going to hang out and party at a tavern with near unlimited booze didn’t seem too far of a departure from them owning an elegant, full style stage with piano on which they planned to use for a play. I never knew that the leadership would have such an issue over something, and the reaction led to a realization. As much as I loved the group and wanted to help nurture the RP and closeness that seemed lost, as much as I knew I could help create some positive change… It wasn’t my place to. Trying to organize things like the talent show, harvesting contests, and the other ideas I had swimming in my brain didn’t matter a lick, as the guild had a set in stone, unflinching “image” that the leadership wanted to preserve, even at the cost of small events that could help the people who joined what they thought was an RP guild feel closer and have time to bond. It was then I decided to concede that my ideas did not have a place here, so sought an outward solution, even before Mik posted the Q&A on the forums. In this mess, I suppose I should win an award of some sort for stunningly ridiculous bad timing. Before the Q&A post and before the Stepping Down announcement, I had thrown some gold at a few newbies to help me start a guild on my alt. It was something for me to slowly work on, get everything ready for, and in a few weeks when I had everything in place, I was planning to tactfully and quietly withdraw with Kogenai and perhaps Emin as well if she wanted to come. In my heart I always wanted a heavier RP environment, so I thought that perhaps I could play around with running something like that on an alt while still being able to hang around with my friends. Then came the storm… I’ll take a moment to be blunt and say the Q&A post managed to upset some people to the point they wanted to leave and word spread among certain people about my pet project. Suddenly I had real members, not a few place holder alts and an unfinished site and premise and a feeling of panic as I was lost in the tidal wave of events to come. Now it was on me suddenly to accommodate the aftermath of the drama which only got worse after the post about stepping down and even moreso after the disagreement on AROOC. While the fight was going on and people were getting angry, I was crying because the last thing I wanted was to lose friends or be part of the mess that followed. If I hadn’t had the people who quit already full of energy and ready to create something new, I probably would have risked being shot down for offering to take charge of AR, in trust only, which I knew I would have been rejected quickly. What happens now? I don’t know… all I know is I have a series of sleepless nights ahead of me as something that was supposed to be a casual side project until I was ready has taken on a life of its own. All in all I want to state that I had always, always respected everyone here and admired all the work that went into this guild. I hope that the drama subsides and that everything manages to roll with the changes in one piece. I am open to any questions, comments or accusations and will answer to everything. This is not a good bye post because I planned on staying with at least one character to make sure everything goes okay. If you would rather I withdraw completely, please ask and let us talk about it. My heart is heavier than it has been in years as I type this, and I wish all my friends well, regardless of outcome. |
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| Emin | May 30 2009, 10:09 AM Post #2 |
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The Cog Fairy
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Okay. This is less of a response to the actual post, and more of just taking a spin on the subject. In Jhanis's words,
I would like to say something which has been said many, many times, but deserves to be written in stone. You - Have - Support. I said to Jhanis something along the lines of, No one expects you to leap up and be perfect. We came because we wanted to be a part of something new. No one is going to lean back and watch expectantly as you work your ass off. You show me one person in this guild right now that's sighing, wishing you were working faster and gazing listlessly at other guilds, and I'll show you a unicorn in a dress. And a tiara. .. made of people. What I'm trying to say is this. Take a breath. Trust what I say. Look around and see the proof in every inch of every person that's in this guild. And everyone else : Let's get crackin'. |
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| Aylora | May 30 2009, 12:52 PM Post #3 |
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Dear, dear me..... I so hate to hear that good people who have worked so very hard end up feeling so badly about this type of stuff. I urge you to not look back, no second guessing, no regrets and certainly no more sleepless nights or browbeating. Although I was more on the edges of things than many of you I did hear a lot, in a very short time, from several members about their dissastisfaction, concern and puzzlement over just what was going on and worry over what would happen. I've my own opinions of what happened and why but really, there's no reason to even think about it all anymore. I do feel that your project has nothing to do with what has happened in AR or what will happen. I personally feel that what happened last night was a good indicator of what is really wrong in AR. It certainly was the last nail in the coffin for me and if I'd not joined up with you folks I'd be sitting in my friend's non-RP guild while searching for a new RP home. Luckily that doesn't have to happen now. You've got a lot of support here with this new endeavor. I say, let's look forward, not back, and work together to create an environment that everyone here can enjoy with as little to no drama as possible. Edited by Aylora, May 30 2009, 12:53 PM.
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| Reylin | May 30 2009, 01:05 PM Post #4 |
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I agree with everything the ladies said above. What's done is done, we know our intentions, our methods, and despite whatever accusations may fly, what wasn't done. So I wouldn't waste any ore time stressing, mourning, or worrying over what occurred. Now, all that being said... take a step back, breathe deeply, and relax. You don't need to rush to get everything in place today, or tomorrow. We have several people who can and will help you shoulder the load. So take a step back, and pause to enjoy what is happening, and what is to come. Roe wasn't built in a day, and if it had been it would have collapsed much quicker, so delegate where you can, do things when you want to, and play with us. I promise someone here will make you smile.
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I promise someone here will make you smile.

11:23 AM Jul 11