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Recruitment TG
Topic Started: Jan 6 2014, 03:20 PM (179 Views)
Sopo
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Nations are trickling into the region, but fewer than average for stamp recruitment. I'd like those of you who were recruited by my telegram to give some insight on what I could do to improve it. TG stamps cost money, and I'd like the most bang for my buck. Here's the one I'm using now:

Quote:
 
Welcome, %NATION%!

Whether you are new to NationStates or a more experienced player creating a new nation to try something different, I would like to invite you to join the community of [region]Ninedale[/region]. We are an up-and-coming city-themed region, aimed at creating a uniquely strong camaraderie between our citizens. With planning underway, new and old players alike will be able to help shape our developing region. Our founder is an experienced player, dedicated to creating a region unlike any other.

Our off-site forum allows for greater depth than regions without one. [region]Ninedale[/region]'s government is beginning to form. Will you be among those building a legacy in one of NationState's newest regions? I hope to see you there. If you have any questions, don't hesitate to respond.

Sincerely,

[nation]Ambrella[/nation]
Founder of [region]Ninedale[/region]
The player also known as Sopo

PS: To move your nation to [region]Nindeale[/region], simply click on the button below. See you soon!


What about it made you want to move here? What could have been better? What about it was bad?
Edited by Sopo, Jan 6 2014, 03:27 PM.
FOUNDER.
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daproben
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The building the legacy part got my attention the most, rather than that everything's fine.
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Lord Tiberius
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Yep that grabbed me as well.
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Sopo
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So perhaps that should be emphasized more? I'll be making a new draft for the next set of TGs, and I'll post it here first.
FOUNDER.
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Lord Tiberius
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Ok great
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Sopo
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Quote:
 
Build your legacy in Ninedale.

Salutations, %NATION%!

Are you looking for a tight-knit community to call your own? Do you want to influence NationStates on a grander scale? As a part of [region]Ninedale[/region], you will have the unique opportunity to help shape the region around you. We are an emerging city-themed region, aimed at strong camaraderie between our citizens and global prestige. [region]Ninedale[/region] is a community that will grow with you, offering opportunities to lead, create, and flourish.

Whether you are looking for gameplay or roleplay, [region]Ninedale[/region] offers it. Our founder is committed to developing a diverse community for every kind of player. As a friendly, growing community making our way in an ever-expanding NationStates world, we would love for you to call us home.

Kind regards,

[nation]Ambrella[/nation]
Founder of [region]Ninedale[/region]
The player also known as Sopo

PS: To move your nation to [region]Nindeale[/region], simply click on the button below. See you soon!

Of course, the region tags will link to Ninedale and "%NATION%" will change to the name of the recipient. Thoughts?
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Lord Tiberius
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Looks good
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daproben
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As good as the last one, maybe even better.
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Sopo
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It's now in effect.
FOUNDER.
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daproben
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Huzzah!
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