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[Accepted]Yamanaka, Ryo; Yamanaka Genin
Topic Started: Apr 13 2012, 04:21 PM (621 Views)
Castiel
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Yamanaka, Ryo

[I don't want to, but if I have to, I WILL win]



General Information
Age: 16
Gender: Male
Height: 6'0
Weight: 180 lbs
Hair: Ryo has short blonde hair
Eyes: Ryo has large blue eyes.
Physical Features: Nothing out of the ordinary.
Clothing/Accessories:His clothing is actually quite simple. He wears a red hoodie with checkered markings on his left shoulder he tends to roll his sleeves up when wearing however. He also wears black jean cargos with his forehead protector on his belt and we wears red and black shoes to top it off. Yeah maybe a bit to "bright" for your average shinobi...but he's not your average shinobi.
Forehead Protector: As stated before it's located on his belt, however he's planning to somehow implement it into his hood in the nearby future.
Personality: Ryo has an incredibly compulsive personality; he can watch a battle he finds entertaining, completely ignore another battle if it disinterests him, or join the battle if he notices too much fun is going on without him. Mostly when it comes to decision making he doesn’t like having the burden on his shoulders and will quickly defer to the majority as long as he gets his way. He wasn’t always this way, a deep tragedy changed his personality. When he was younger he was driven to succeed, and had a natural curiosity about everything. Now he won’t even so much as glance in the direction of something he deems too boring. It seems that most of the time the he is complaining about being bored, although he becomes most lively with that fresh burst of adrenaline pulsing through his veins.

It should be noted, that he has not fully healed from the emotional trauma of losing a whole team in battle, and so common belief is that once he fully recovers mentally that he might revert back to his old personality traits. More recently, lateness and mission incompletion has become more common due to lack of interest. Moreover, he has actually declined taking missions that are not appealing to him, but on the occasion that he finds the mission attractive, his utmost effort is put forth into completing it, or at least into most of it, with a team-mate being needed for the more boring parts of a mission such as interacting with clients, or even taking orders from a superior.

Aside from whatever emotional distractions that he has, Ryo is highly intelligent. Smart enough to be 2nd in his class, his scores are actually slightly higher than the average scores of all the number one students of the last 17 years. The only reason he finished 2nd at all in the first place was because of the exceptional talent of that years academy class. While most shinobi hate to be under-estimated, Ryo actually loves it because it means he doesn’t have to put as much effort forward.

Picture: Posted Image


Battle Information
Rank: Genin
Village: Konohagakure no Sato
Chakra Affinity: Suiton


Stats
  • Ninjutsu: 4
  • Taijutsu: 2
  • Genjutsu: 3
  • Stamina: 3
  • Control: 4
  • Strength: 1
  • Speed: 2
  • Wit: 5

Equipment:

Right Pouch
Utility Pouch On Back


Combat Style: Ryo mostly uses his Yamanaka Jutsu with support from Genjutsu to be the ultimate espionage ninja.


Jutsu Information
Abilities 1/3:
Yamanaka

Jutsu:
Yamanaka Jutsu
Genjutsu




History
Life In a Nutshell
Edited by Castiel, Apr 27 2012, 03:33 PM.
Yamanaka, Ryo Genin Konohagakure no Sato Missions: S:0 A:0 B:0 C:0 D:0 Points: 0/0
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Ori
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That picture is from Osy, which we do not allow people to use his art. That's also the character's name... <o>

As a note, that app style is really annoying to read.

You need the length of the sword.

Kiri uses a two genin team for their genin team, not the Konoha standard of three genin and a jounin.

The Green mist jutsu require Fuuton, which means you can't use it.

I'll check the history later, but I think you'll probably have to edit, due to how Kiri does their teams.
Characters
Tenma Ginjiro - Special Jounin - Iwagakure no Sato
Yuuta - C-Ranked - Missing Nin
Fumei, Ishiki - Jounin - Kirigakure no Sato
Ouji Donsu - Chuunin - Sunagakure no Sato
Ishiguro Risu - Genin - Kumogakure no Sato
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Nafan~
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WAR NAFAN!
Your abilities spoiler has a random hanging bold tag.

also, your biography is written in a really light blue text that is hard for me to read on the skin I'm using. I'm using Carux. If you could make it a bit darker please?
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"Achatchaa~."
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Castiel
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Yeah, I'm not done with it I still have a lot to add here. I was finished but now I'm revamping it into a new character.
Yamanaka, Ryo Genin Konohagakure no Sato Missions: S:0 A:0 B:0 C:0 D:0 Points: 0/0
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Jeff
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post when you edit.
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Castiel
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Done. Reworked history a bit, changed to Yamanaka, added jutsu, and fixed stats.
Yamanaka, Ryo Genin Konohagakure no Sato Missions: S:0 A:0 B:0 C:0 D:0 Points: 0/0
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Nafan~
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WAR NAFAN!
your stats have 25 points, genin only get 24.

Genin in a flak jacket is an (n) sorry.

you should spellcheck your personality, you have a typo or two.

It seems that most of the time the he is complaining about being bored, although he becomes most lively with that fresh burst of adrenaline pulsing through his veins.
^ What fresh burst of adrenaline?

More recently, punctuality and mission incompletion has become more common due to lack of interest.

^ punctuality means that he is being on time. This doesn't really fit. It suggest the word lateness.

While most shinobi hate to under-estimated, Ryo actually loves it because it means he doesn't have to put as much effort forward.
^ Hate to be

You can't have two konoha characters at the one time. You will have to inactivate your old one if you wish to keep this one.

Cupid Mouth Jutsu
^ please remove the word description. This needs a post limit, I doubt you can indefinitely hold the jutsu if the target stays still.

Silent Speech
please remove description again. Mind control at D-rank? This needs to go up to C-rank and it should also not be able to harm the target. You also change what hand seal your doing half way through. This needs a post limit.

Sasayaki no Jutsu (Whisper Technique)
This needs a post limit. Genjutsu also need things known as triggers. Examples of triggers are: Making eye contact, Having them see the hand seals, the user saying something that the target must hear.
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"Achatchaa~."
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Ori
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As a note, the Yamanaka clan is an ability, so you should have 1.
Characters
Tenma Ginjiro - Special Jounin - Iwagakure no Sato
Yuuta - C-Ranked - Missing Nin
Fumei, Ishiki - Jounin - Kirigakure no Sato
Ouji Donsu - Chuunin - Sunagakure no Sato
Ishiguro Risu - Genin - Kumogakure no Sato
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Jeff
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also something naf didnt notice..

Need to link yamanaka name to the clan.
Posted Image
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Castiel
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Done and by adrenaline I mean the adrenaline people get in a tough situation or a fight. And if you didn't notice my Hyuuga was inactive.
Edited by Castiel, Apr 14 2012, 10:14 PM.
Yamanaka, Ryo Genin Konohagakure no Sato Missions: S:0 A:0 B:0 C:0 D:0 Points: 0/0
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Jigglypuff, DRAGON SLAYER
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AROOOOO
How light are we talking with the hair, if it's like the picture then it's a no, seeing as Yamanaka have light coloured hair, if we're talking a cappuccino colour then that'd be fine.

Eyes need changing, Yamanaka have large light blue eyes mostly, which means small and brown is a no.

For the ability, I was going to say to add it from their app but they haven't been revamped yet. So courtesy of Heero you can add this to your spoiler:

Quote:
 
Technically, the Yamanaka clan has no bloodline limit, however, they have garnered some fame by mastering special techniques unique to their clan. These techniques involve separating the mind from the body for a variety of purposes. Utilizing such a strong connection to the mind, the Yamanaka have also become famous for their ability to extract information from their enemies.


Guest Mind
C-Ranked Ninjutsu
Prerequisite: Mind Body Change
Description: When the user's mind touches the host's body after using mind body transfer it won't expel the target's mind out of their body as it would normally happen, instead of that the target won't even notice the presence of the user’s mind. The user would then hear, see, smell, taste, feel, etc. everything that the host see, hear, etc. This is used as a spying technique.

This seems incredibly powerful for a C-Rank, not only can you experience all 5 of the users senses but they can't detect it? Going off the senses used for Genjutsu I'd say this should only be able to effect a maximum of 2 senses and with the mind body change be able to expelled in the same way as Mind Body Change.

Mind Recall Technique
D-Ranked Ninjutsu
If the Mind Body change is not successful, the Yamanaka is able to return to his or her body using the link that is created between the mind and the body. The reintegration of the body is done within a half post instead of a full post after the technique fails.

I don't like this either, I don't understand how this "link" can shorten down the time it takes to return the conciousness to the body, when it travels for the jutsu initially, it moves at a certain speed, which imo it would move at in return. The whole 1 post thing is a drawback for a reason.


[D-Rank Missing-NinKirigakure no SatoSaiko Sumato • Missions: S:0 A:0 B:0 C:0 D:0 • Socials: 0 • Stat Trains: 0]
[Genin • Konohagakure no Sato • Senju Mori • Missions: S:0 A:0 B:0 C:0 D:1 • Socials: 1 • Stat Trains: 0]
[Genin • Sunagakure no Sato • Henrin Masaru • Missions: S:0 A:0 B:0 C:0 D:2 • Socials: 2 • Stat Trains: 2]
[Chuunin • Iwagakure no Sato • Shoshiki Tatsuya • Missions: S:0 A:0 B:0 C:0 D:0 • Socials: 0 • Stat Trains: 0]

그래 Wolf 내가 Wolf 아우우, 아 사랑해요
我是 Wolf 一头Wolf Awuuuu~ Ah! Saranghaeyo


Willing to run MiMs for people. PM if interested!
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Castiel
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Edited appearance in accordance to what Sandvich said. Also limited Guest Mind to two senses and deleted the mind recall technique and replaced it with The Mind Spy Technique. And also added the ability provided by Heero.
Yamanaka, Ryo Genin Konohagakure no Sato Missions: S:0 A:0 B:0 C:0 D:0 Points: 0/0
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Ori
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Your app is currently unreadable on two of the skins. Pick a different blue, please.

As I said before, this app format is REALLY REALLY bad. Like, try actually looking at it and opening the spoilers. It's hard to read and keep track of anything. Like, the jutsu get so squished that it's hard to read them at all.

Cupid Mouth, if it's a blanket mind reading tech would be ~B rank, iirc.

The mind spy technique can remove the part about the B ranked version, since you'd just put that in the B ranked version. Additionally, as Ino has shown, they do need some physical 'thing' there. If you're removing the buffer, you should have a much greater drawback.

Guest Mind needs to be nerfed a bit. +3 just on a C rank? No. Just do higher.

Whisper needs a time limit.

The Yamanaka clan is one of the smaller clans of Konoha. o_o

I can't finish reading the history, though, because of how badly formatted the app is. D:
Characters
Tenma Ginjiro - Special Jounin - Iwagakure no Sato
Yuuta - C-Ranked - Missing Nin
Fumei, Ishiki - Jounin - Kirigakure no Sato
Ouji Donsu - Chuunin - Sunagakure no Sato
Ishiguro Risu - Genin - Kumogakure no Sato
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Castiel
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Alright Oreo, done. In terms of the Cupid mouth jutsu it's not mind reading exactly. The only thing I know is what they are saying it's essentially allowing me to lip read without actually looking at their mouth but they HAVE to be in visual range and as I said I ONLY know what they are speaking, not thinking.
Yamanaka, Ryo Genin Konohagakure no Sato Missions: S:0 A:0 B:0 C:0 D:0 Points: 0/0
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Ori
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Massively stretching the page with the app.
Characters
Tenma Ginjiro - Special Jounin - Iwagakure no Sato
Yuuta - C-Ranked - Missing Nin
Fumei, Ishiki - Jounin - Kirigakure no Sato
Ouji Donsu - Chuunin - Sunagakure no Sato
Ishiguro Risu - Genin - Kumogakure no Sato
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Castiel
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What? On my screen it's fine but hold on let me fix it?

Edit: Done
Edited by Castiel, Apr 15 2012, 11:15 PM.
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Ori
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You're still stretching the page by an inch on Bohegaha.
Characters
Tenma Ginjiro - Special Jounin - Iwagakure no Sato
Yuuta - C-Ranked - Missing Nin
Fumei, Ishiki - Jounin - Kirigakure no Sato
Ouji Donsu - Chuunin - Sunagakure no Sato
Ishiguro Risu - Genin - Kumogakure no Sato
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Castiel
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I'm not sure I tried looking at it at Bohega and it's still not stretching on my screen? >.<
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Ori
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Firefox doesn't auto-resize images, like Chrome does. Using firefox, it stretches on BoHeGaHa.
Characters
Tenma Ginjiro - Special Jounin - Iwagakure no Sato
Yuuta - C-Ranked - Missing Nin
Fumei, Ishiki - Jounin - Kirigakure no Sato
Ouji Donsu - Chuunin - Sunagakure no Sato
Ishiguro Risu - Genin - Kumogakure no Sato
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Castiel
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That awkward moment when you're on Chrome.
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Checkmate
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(╯°□°)╯︵ ┻━┻)
Your app can't be more than 500 px wide, and yours exceeds that. It might help to manually resize your image.
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Castiel
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I resized it like 3 times?
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Castiel
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Alright, well ready to go babeh.
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Castiel
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Just edited the picture and along with the appearance description.
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Ori
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Breaks the page again.
Characters
Tenma Ginjiro - Special Jounin - Iwagakure no Sato
Yuuta - C-Ranked - Missing Nin
Fumei, Ishiki - Jounin - Kirigakure no Sato
Ouji Donsu - Chuunin - Sunagakure no Sato
Ishiguro Risu - Genin - Kumogakure no Sato
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Castiel
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How about now?
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Jigglypuff, DRAGON SLAYER
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AROOOOO
I'm using chrome so I don't know if the size problem persists but content wise everything looks a-ok. 1/2


[D-Rank Missing-NinKirigakure no SatoSaiko Sumato • Missions: S:0 A:0 B:0 C:0 D:0 • Socials: 0 • Stat Trains: 0]
[Genin • Konohagakure no Sato • Senju Mori • Missions: S:0 A:0 B:0 C:0 D:1 • Socials: 1 • Stat Trains: 0]
[Genin • Sunagakure no Sato • Henrin Masaru • Missions: S:0 A:0 B:0 C:0 D:2 • Socials: 2 • Stat Trains: 2]
[Chuunin • Iwagakure no Sato • Shoshiki Tatsuya • Missions: S:0 A:0 B:0 C:0 D:0 • Socials: 0 • Stat Trains: 0]

그래 Wolf 내가 Wolf 아우우, 아 사랑해요
我是 Wolf 一头Wolf Awuuuu~ Ah! Saranghaeyo


Willing to run MiMs for people. PM if interested!
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Castiel
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yay one more!
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Jeff
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~ [Mind Fart Technique <-- not taking half but get rid of the bracket.
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Castiel
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Doneski
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Checkmate
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Still stretches the page. I don't think you can do this formatting. The pic is realls small, and is still stretching.
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Castiel
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How about now?
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Castiel
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Well it's Default Coded now and was 1/2 so I think it should be ready for 2/2.
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seiuchiblarg
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Walrusman!
Whisper Technique needs a trigger.

Apart from that, all is good. the 1/2 stands.
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Castiel
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Alright added trigger.
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seiuchiblarg
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Walrusman!
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