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| Poll: The Advocate Competition | |
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| Topic Started: 12 Mar 2013, 14:43 (2,285 Views) | |
| Post #1 12 Mar 2013, 14:43 | Suzikane |
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Here you can check out and vote for your favourite. 1. Wallpaper Hearts 2. Wallpaper The Americans 3. I'm Not Sure Where Home Is Anymore 4. A beautiful feeling 5. Amor perdido 6. What happened in the past, stays in the past. Only members will be able to vote and participants can vote too, but can't choose themselves ofcourse ^_^ Closing date will be 19-03-2013 Cheers Suzette Edited by Suzikane, 12 Mar 2013, 15:53.
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| Post #2 12 Mar 2013, 14:43 | Suzikane |
| Posted Image Posted Image |
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| Post #3 12 Mar 2013, 14:48 | Suzikane |
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Title: I'm Not Sure Where Home Is Anymore Character: John Standing/The Scapegoat Bela “I think it’s time for you to go home, don’t you?” John “I’m not sure where home is anymore” Bela “Don’t worry, you will” John finds the note where it had been written, though he knew that Blanche had already read the apparent ‘suicide’ note, he hadn’t. He approached the dressing table with dread and instead of moving the note he put himself in the seat that Frances had sat earlier that day. The night appearing a complete opposite of early activities of the day, where the morning showed the promise of the day, a family and the happiness he had gathered in being with these people. Then the darkness of the night brought not only pain of nearly losing a loved one but a danger from Johnny and jeopardy that Bela was put in because of him. At first John couldn’t look at the letter but then he knows that he must and slowly he realizes the true meaning behind the every sentence. To My Darling Johnny, This is this hardest letter I have ever had to write but I have decided that now is the time. I can no longer pretend that our marriage or my life is worth living. John shakes his head with anger, wondering how it is that Johnny could not see how fantastic Frances is. “Well” John thought, at least Frances and the rest of his family never have to worry about him again. This last week with you has been one of best of my life and for that I thank you for that. At least I can think of that when I enter into the next world. John smiled at the next paragraph, knowing that it hadn’t been Johnny that had been with her over the past week but himself. He had to agree with the statement, it was one, if not the best, week of his life. He wished that life could be like the previous week, minus the previous evening but he knew it was not his life and he had a promise to keep before he left this place. All my love, here and forever more, Yours always, Frances. John reread the last two sentences a few times, trying to engrave them into his brain, he doubted he would found anyone he would love the same way he loved Frances. It happened so quickly and slowly that he isn’t quite sure when it happened. With one more look around the room, he said his goodbye and went to find Piglet’s rooms and had a talk with Charlotte instead. *** “Frances” John starts as he places her on the bed carefully and then brings over the suicide note. Neither of them has brought up the suicide/murder since Frances was released. John has been wondering want to say and do. Frances starts to talk over John “I’m really sorry to disappoint you, I know what was supposed to happen” and she can’t bare to look at him anymore. John takes hold of her chin and makes her look at him. “We both know what was supposed to happen for our family but I saw you there and it was if I suddenly” John shakes his head “I remembered you are my family and I love you and nothing, no money and business is worth anything if you aren’t with me. I’m the disappointment here and I’ll understand if you want nothing more to do with me or my family but don’t ever let anyone treat you the way I have in the past. You have to promise me that?” John is so busy with his speech that he doesn’t see the shock in Frances face. When he doesn’t receive a response immediately John repeats the question “You have to promise me that?” Frances carefully nods her response, Blanche has always told her that she needs to stand up to Johnny and now even Johnny is telling her. She is speechless. Though, she has just fallen in love with Johnny all over again. He just choose her over money, family over money, everything over money, it’s as if Johnny has been replaced by a clone but she doesn’t care because this version is someone she really loves and who loves her back. *** It’s been a few months since John decided to stay and took over to permanent place of Johnny and he couldn’t be happy. The mail even arrived to explain his joy: Posted Image The End Edited by Suzikane, 12 Mar 2013, 15:09.
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| Post #4 12 Mar 2013, 14:52 | Suzikane |
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4 Philip – A beautiful feeling It’s not that it isn’t satisfying. But it’s more like sneezing than anything else. It provides a quick and temporary release. Afterwards he can hardly remember it. He knows women’s bodies well. He knows what they like and where they want to be touched. Some prefer it rough and quick, others need more warming up before they let him inside. But to him it is all mechanics, like a dance. Sometimes he keeps time,playing music in his head. Then suddenly he is interrupted by a loud moan and jerked back into the reality of it. He watches their faces as he brings them over the edge. Then he let’s go of himself for a few seconds. He wonders if it’s the same for Elizabeth. What does she think about to get herself in the mood? Or does she approach it with the same calculated clarity she uses to decipher a new coded instruction for another mission? Maybe some of the men she has to have sex with are good and take care to satisfy her too. The thought fills him with anger. There is an uneasy possessiveness beginning to build up inside him. He doesn’t want to recognise it, so he pushes it aside and moves on. He could never tell if Elizabeth enjoyed it with him. It was so long ago now that they stopped doing it with each other. With her it was always silent. She didn’t resist him, but she didn’t initiate it either. If he tried to find a word to describe it, it would be ‘accommodating’, which didn’t sound very exciting. She seemed locked in her own world, far away. It was as if she just obliged him out of a sense of duty. And perhaps she was thinking of the motherland, hoping he would finish soon so she could go back to sleep. He wanted to reach into her soul, touch her heart. But she remained closed. There was nothing unfriendly about. It was just distant, like a glass wall between them. Sometimes lying beside her in bed at night, listening to her breathing, he would imagine what it would feel like if she turned to him, welcoming his embrace. He longed for that intimacy, a true closeness of two people who trusted each other. Because despite everything, he trusted her, even though he couldn’t tell if she felt the same for him. Often she would scold him for being too emotional about a mission, too sensitive about other people’s feelings when he should be focusing on the greater good. But when he lay there beside her he would sometimes carefully place his fingertips against her naked shoulder, feeling the soft warm skin, the pulse underneath. Once he even dared to place his lips there, but she almost immediately stirred and moved away from him. Occasionally, it happened that he would let himself fall for a woman, just a little, even though he knew it was dangerous. He would pretend that he was living a normal life, being a normal man dating normal women. He made sure never to let it on, least of all to Elizabeth. Although sometimes he could sense a hint of jealousy in her comments about a particularly pretty honeytrap target and it would almost fill him with a sense of pride. Perhaps it meant that she did care for him. He knew his heart was opening up to Elizabeth. It came to him one Sunday morning when her laughter suddenly filled the kitchen. She looked straight at him, meeting his eyes without inhibition, not immediately looking away. This face he hardly ever saw. She rarely even showed it to Paige or Henry. Her laughter filled his body with a warm glow that lingered the rest of the day. Later he couldn’t even remember what was so funny it had made her laugh that way. This new feeling that was building a nest inside him also filled him with an icy cold fear whenever she was late coming back from a mission. He would lay awake listening to the sounds of the house, waiting for her to unlock the door and tiptoe carefully up the stairs past the children’s rooms. Sometimes when she came home after these late evenings her face would be like a frozen mask. He wanted to place his palm against her cheek and caress the stony features soft again. But she always turned her back to him as she silently got into bed beside him. So he continued to hide it deep inside himself, savouring the morsels of kindness she would throw his way every now and then. Hoping maybe one day she would grow to trust him too and let him love her. Edited by Suzikane, 12 Mar 2013, 15:03.
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| Post #5 12 Mar 2013, 14:53 | Suzikane |
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5. Mateo – Amor perdido He noticed the distance between them right from the start: the Welsh couple that had come to Trelew for a holiday. “No, not a holiday. I’m working. I’m a photographer”, said the man, Rhys. “A ti, Gwen?” Mateo asked the woman. “I’m on holiday”, she replied. Gwen. Later, lying on his bed in the dark, Mateo formed her name slowly in his mouth, tongue touching palate at the end. He wondered what her tongue would feel like against his own. Gwen. It meant pale, white. Her skin was almost translucent in the unforgiving Argentinian sun. The thin cotton dresses she wore flowed over her body like a cool evening breeze. The first day they set out early, before the sun rose. While Rhys set up his photographic equipment outside, Mateo and Gwen dosed off inside the car. When the first light reached the car he got out, stretched and yawned himself awake. Turning back towards the car he saw her blinking against the light. “Bore da. Brecwast?” he greeted her as the sun rose over the desert. At first she seemed confused, then she smiled, relieved: “Dyma fi”, she said. I am here. As if a dream had taken her far away just before she awoke. The low morning sun set her hair alight. He couldn’t look at her; the desire to touch was too strong. Rhys is going to photograph old chapels in the desert. It’s a commission. Mateo doesn’t understand who would want to see pictures of old abandoned houses falling apart, but Gwen says that Rhys finds them ‘arwrol’, heroic. Mateo s offers the word to Rhys in an attempt to appease him, because he senses the hostility in the other man. But the outstretched hand is not taken. Rhys seems happy working on his own with his camera, like an island separate from the other two. Mateo offers Gwen cigarettes and she accepts them with an eagerness close to starvation. She laughs at his silly jokes, her eyes glittering. She is radiant in the attention she is suddenly receiving. Why is Rhys not giving it to her? Mateo watches them together. She seems to be constantly apologizing for something, while Rhys distances himself from her. It makes Mateo angry. He wants to hit Rhys, slap him into action. But it’s not his place, so he waits. He remembers the drive back from the location: Gwen in the car seat between them, asleep against Rhys. The road uneven, shaking the car as he steered through the darkness, Gwen’s dress slipping higher up her thigh. Mateo dared a glance at her exposed knee, realising in the same instant that Rhys had seen him looking. For a second the two men’s eyes met, then Rhys protectively pulled Gwen closer. “A ti?” Gwen had asked. And you, do you have a lost love? They were at the asado. Rhys wasn’t there and Mateo didn’t ask where he is. He knew this could be the moment he had been waiting for, but he hesitated. She was someone else’s woman and yet he couldn’t help wanting her. A lost love? He had never really been in love. He loved animals. He knew them, understood them. They were straightforward and didn’t confuse him. People were different, complex, especially women. He admired them from a distance, only occasionally crossing their paths for a brief romantic interlude. Was this love lost even before it had started? He knew he was only borrowing her. She would leave. Just like in the story she was reading, about a beautiful woman who enticed two men and was transformed into an owl as punishment: Blodeuwedd. But still he asked her: “Pam lai?” Why not? Why can’t you stay with me? She smiled in reply, but said nothing. Edited by Suzikane, 12 Mar 2013, 14:59.
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| Post #6 12 Mar 2013, 14:56 | Suzikane |
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6. What happened in the past, stays in the past. He took his pen and started scribbling in his most legible handwriting. He wasn't sure if the letter would ever reach it's destination, but it was the only way he hadn't tried to reached his husband, the man of his dreams. Even though, most of his nights were sleepless lately. “I have never meant to hurt you. I know, what I did was wrong, but I beg you, please please, reconsider. Come back to me and we will make it work. We will find a way out of this mess. I promise I'll be better. You deserve more and I promise, I will give you more. I'll do whatever you want and I'll be whoever you want me to be, but please please, forgive me. Come back home! What I did can't be undone and it can never be forgotten. I know that. But give me a chance to fix this. It is so dark without you. You are the sun in my life. The spice in my meals. You made me a better person. You make me a better person. I am nothing without you. I need you and I miss you. I miss you, like the deserts miss the rain. Come back to me! When I wake up in the middle of the night, I instinctively turn to your side, but the sheets where you once rested are cold and empty and your smell is only a distant memory on your pillow and then I suddenly remember why you aren't here. With me. In our bed. And it hurts. I am to blame. It's my fault. All of it. I swear, if I could undo this whole situation, I would, but I can't. I wish I'd have a magic wand. The thing is, every time something happens to me, the person I want to talk to most, is you. But you are not there and you don't want to talk to me. But you have to talk to me. You can't let us end like this. This is too important. You know me. I am an open book for you. I never beg. But now, I beg you, come back to me. Without you, there is no air to breathe, please help me breathe again. You complete me and without you, a big part of me is missing. You are the only one capable of making me whole again...” He didn't write any further, tears blurred his vision and too many thoughts where buzzing through his mind, it was hard to make a distinction of what was worthy to be written down and what was to be buried inside of his mind and it was hard to filter the right thoughts out. He folded his letter and resignedly put it inside the book he was reading at that time. He didn't know how to go on without the man he loved. All he knew was, that he needed Kevin in his life, to be happy. Scotty needed Kevin back in his life. The letter was never send. It was never put into an envelope and it was never thrown into a mail box either. In fact, Scotty forgot about it when he realized, that he needed to speak to Kevin in person, make him see, make him understand, make him feel, that he wasn't going to throw away their marriage and their love. Scotty was willing to fight for Kevin and he did. Ten years later Olivia was packing her things in boxes to move out. Temporary. To go to college. “Dad? Is it okay to take some of the books? Maybe some of the classics? You know how much I love them...” before Olivia could say any more, Kevin already agreed. He knew his daughter liked to read and was particularly fond of classics. It made Kevin proud, considering that she wasn't able to write or read when she became part of the family. Olivia grabbed a Thomas Hardy novel and opened it. She didn't know why, but she had this little quirk, to read a paragraph before packing a book she never read. She read, put it away and took the next one. “Can I take this one too?” Olivia asked, while she wagged with a green book. “I guess. I think it may be one of Scotty's. I am not familiar with 'the prophet'.” Again, Olivia opened it, but this time, in the middle of the book, she found a folded piece of paper. If Olivia had learned only one thing from the Walkers, it was that there where no secrets in this family. She turned her back on Kevin and started to read. She recognized Scotty's handwriting. However, after a few sentences, she stopped. She didn't understand what she was reading. She read words like hurt and beg and come back. The letter wasn't dated and Olivia couldn't read on. Ever since she was a part of Kevin and Scotty, they were happy. Not without their obstacles and they didn't agree on everything, but this letter sounded bad. Really bad. But did she have the right to inquire? What if she opened old wounds? And what if the wounds weren't as old as she thought? What if Kevin and Scotty were in a deep and severe crisis and they only kept up appearances to not harm her or Danny? Olivia folded the letter without reading on, when she felt a hand on her shoulder. “What do you have there? Did someone send you a love letter?” Kevin smiled teasingly and his blue eyes sparkled mischievously. “No, it's not mine. Um... it was in this book. It's Scotty's, I think.” Olivia faltered and Kevin looked at her with concern. Taking a deep breathe, she almost whispered, as if not wanting to hear the wrong answer: “Um... Dad? Are you and Scotty okay?” “Of course we are. Why shouldn't we be?” Kevin was taken aback by the question. There was no reason for Olivia to believe that there was something wrong. “It's... nothing. I... here” she held the letter out to Kevin with shaky hands, who took it and opened it. He too recognized Scotty's handwriting immediately. He read a few sentences and looked back up to Olivia. His eyes were glassy and his hands were slightly trembling. “That's from the past. A long long time ago. Before you and Daniel became part of our family.” His hand fell down, but he didn't let go of the sheet of paper in his hand. “What happened? How did Scotty hurt you? Why did he have to beg you to come back to him?” “Olivia, I get that this may unsettle you, but, as I said; it's all in the past. I want to leave it there.” “Kevin, I want to know. We are grown-ups. I trust you. I think you should trust me too.” “Honey, I understand and you are right, but I'd rather not talk about this.” Kevin could see the disapproving look his daughter shot him and he reluctantly decided to tell her the truth. Short version. “Scotty and I, we hid a rough patch. A few years into our marriage. It happens to a lot of couples.” “What happened?” “I wasn't there when he needed me. It was after Kitty's first husband, Robert, died. After that tragical accident. After we thought we had lost Daniel. Justin was back at war... everything was messy basically, but that's not a real excuse...” “And you shoved Scotty away?” “Kind of. But he – he needed something, someone and I wasn't there and – he cheated.” “No! No, not Scotty. I mean... no. How could he?!” Olivia was shocked and shook her head in disbelieve. “Calm down. It's okay. That was a long time ago.” Kevin placed his hand soothingly on Olivia's arm and rubbed little calming circles with his thumbs onto her skin. “I don't know if I would ever be able to forgive and forget...” “Olivia,” Kevin now took his daughter's hands in his own and looked her straight in the eyes, keeping her gaze fixed on him. “if you love someone as deeply as I love Scotty, you can forgive and forget everything. I had the choice to forgive him or loose him. Letting Scotty go was never an option for me. Never. I told you, I love him. Ever have, ever will.” “The letter, did he give it to you?” “No, but once I was ready to let him back in, to see that I needed him in my life, we talked. We talked a lot. It was a long and rocky road. It wasn't easy to learn to trust Scotty again. But love makes you do things you thought you were never capable of.” “Do you still think about it?” Kevin shook his head vehemently. “No. No, never. It's been ten years. I can't change the past and it doesn't change because I dwell on it. What I can change, is my future.” Olivia nodded and soaked up Kevin's wise words. Kevin still held the letter in his hands. His knuckles were white from the grip and the paper was crumpled, but she decided to let it go. Kevin clearly didn't want to admit, that the past creeping up unexpectedly like this, still hurt and she had to accept it. Later that night Kevin and Scotty were sitting in front of their fireplace in the living room. They sat close to each other, hips touching and with their legs entwined, they enjoyed their togetherness. Each had a glass of wine in their hand and little pieces of cheese were in front of them on a plate, along with grapes and walnuts. Kevin watched his husband thoughtfully while he picked up a grape. The flickering flames made Scotty's face shine in warm colors. He was older, his temples were gray and little laugh lines around his eyes made him seem even sexier. Scotty still had the body of a twenty-five year old. Model-like. But Scotty wasn't only good-looks, he was more than that. He was wise way beyond his years. “You are so quiet tonight. Is something wrong? Does it bother you that Liv will move to the other side of the country?” “Partly. But it's not about O. Look what she's found!” Kevin prayed his hand to stay steady, when he fumbled for the letter and held it out to Scotty, who unfolded the paper and read his own words. “I- were did you find this? I don't even remember writing it and even less were I put it.” “It doesn't matter. I wanted to show you, that I read it and I wanted to be with you when we throw it into the fire. Together.” “Are you sure?” “Of course. It's down in the past, Scotty. We made the choice to work on our marriage every day and to be there for each other. I love you and whatever bad happened in the past, it is part of who we are today.” Kevin took the letter, threw it into the fire and watched the flames eat at the paper. “When did you become so wise?” “It's the age and it's you rubbing off on me.” Kevin smiled and pulled his husband closer and into a passionate kiss. ***** Olivia knew, that now was the time to clear her throat and ruin the moment or turn away and warn Danny that he should avoid the living room for the next few hours. She didn't want to sneak up on her dads, but when she heard that they were talking about the letter, the past, she wanted to know, she was curious about it. She was a Walker after all. She didn't learn anything new from her eavesdropping. Olivia knew that her parents loved each other. They always laughed and kissed and touched a lot too. Everyone could see that they loved each other, but that letter had left her troubled. Knowing that there was a time, when Kevin and Scotty weren't a union like they were now, not speaking, not touching, not loving each other, unsettled Olivia. This was the only family she knew and even as an adult she needed to know that everything was like it was supposed to be. Kevin and Scotty kissed passionately and their hands started to travel and explore. Olivia turned around quietly and left the men their privacy. She smiled and suddenly saw very clearly that her parents were made for each other. Nothing could keep those two apart. Seeing Kevin and Scotty being in love, after overcoming such a huge obstacle, which cheating was; Olivia finally felt hopeful, that maybe love could conquer all. Maybe her parents and their story, including rocky roads, were enough to make a pragmatic young woman believe that the One True Love existed for her too. THE END |
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| Post #7 12 Mar 2013, 15:15 | Suzikane |
| I would also like to vote..and I go for nr. 3 only I can't vote as I made the poll...so mine will be added at the end..lol |
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| Post #8 13 Mar 2013, 10:24 | Suzikane |
| bump |
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| Post #9 16 Mar 2013, 17:45 | Suzikane |
| bump |
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| Post #10 16 Mar 2013, 21:13 | lenochek33 |
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Oh, Suz, sorry for keeping you waiting with my vote. Was meaning to get my notebook at home to read the stories in peace. It's a hard choice. It's quite easy to choose between the two pics, but the stories... I liked two of them... Which is the best? Made my choice, but it was a hard one. :$ Edited by lenochek33, 16 Mar 2013, 21:15.
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