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Lightquest Board; For and about Lightquest
Topic Started: May 14 2009, 11:00 PM (2,301 Views)
Lightquest
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As I reflect on the year past, I am amazed at what I have learned. The experiences enjoyed and disliked were all so amazing.
I am so very grateful that grief was not an experience for me or my family. My sons are all healthy and happy, I have a roof over our head, a vehicle to drive, a body that works (sometimes lol) and a heart.

What I ask for this new year is to be able to quit smoking, stop worrying, and to be in a position to open a bigger and better practice. One that I can actually support my family with.

Love and Be Well
Gin
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Lightquest
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I am really nervous. Guess fearful is the real word I'm looking for. On Jan 21st I begin the year long certification for Energy Medicine with Dr. Poulin and 21 other people. I've doing some research on some of his students who took his class in the past.. and it blew me away. Most if not all have some form of long College degrees. The sense that I am a sixth grader taking a course only allowed for Doctors has enveloped me. In a logical sense, I dont think I should be taking this class.
However, I know that with God.. we are all equal. It shouldn't bother me that I will be in a class with 21 "professionals" but I can't help it. From my last experience with his workshops.. I know what happened when I did the Breath Work. No one else had that experience..and it is kind of embarrasing.
Maybe I'm just not refined enough.
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Anita

You will do fine Gin, you know how I know? No matter even if you feel a little inferior in class, especially at first, you will put your own ego aside. You are doing this to be better able to help others. I know, you may be thinking you are also doing it for yourself, nothing wrong with that, but your desire to help others will keep you focused on learning all you can.

One thing I have noticed in metaphysical classes, it is not the college degrees that cause people to stand out in class. Some may try but most find them boring. People in these classes all want the same thing and are usually very kind and spiritually minded. I believe I have just discribed you Gin, so relax and enjoy every minute and give us lots of reports!

Blessing's ~ Anita
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Lightquest
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:wub: Thank you Anita. I dont think you realize how much I need yours and the others support. There is no one and I mean absolutely NO ONE that I can talk to about this class, who would understand how difficult this is for me. Not because they dont care.. just that they dont understand the whole business of healing, ego, spirituality etc. My family and friends just dont understand. My brother and sister in law tell me that I just dont like people. Thats not true, but I can see how it would appear that way. Its not the people I dont like.. its what they discuss and how they treat others and themselves that I dont like. Is it wrong of me not to want to be around people who are like that? Am I being snobby? I hope not...but guess it can appear that way. Just feel like I've been there..done that and dont want to be a part of it anymore. Now, I can see how Sylvia says that Gnostics seem Arrogant.


This class is extremely important to me. This is why I even took the Massage class. One has to be licensed in Va to be able to do work like this. So, now I have the License and its time to move on. And I really hope that what you say about everyone being kind and spiritually inclined is true. That is what I expected in Massage School. That wasn't the case. You are probably right though. This isn't a class that anyone could take. You had to be invited to participate. Just Golly Anita, I hope everyone is as kind there as they are here.
Apparently, I will have to undergo a "cleansing" of sorts. All of my issues.. past and present, will be dealt with. Apparently that is to open me up to be strong enough to handle the amount of energy that will have to move through me. Kind of like plunging the commode or something... :blink:

To share that kind of information with strangers is frightful.. because I know I will share it if I need to. This class is way too important for me to hold back and I just want to be comfortable enough to be able to do so. Yes, Anything I have to do to be of service.. I shall do. That is my chart. Service. I want to see Mother and Father smile when I cross over..not for me...but because I faced my fears to allow their love and light shine on others and give them the opportunity to heal through them. To be a part of the Ripple of Love. I cant let my silly fears take that away. Its just way too important.
And just think Anita.. You and everyone here will be a part of that smile..if it weren't for you guys, Poppa, Jesus, SB, EC and every Spiritual teacher I have ever studied is a part of that smile. How glorious that smile is.
Love and Be Well
Gin
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Lightquest
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Well, I'm not afraid of the class anymore. Instead of focusing on what could happen.. I'm going to focus on what I should learn from the class. Hopefully, it will be alot.

The boys are all safe and in their beds. Jacob has a bald spot on the back of his head from a sleepover he went to. The boys sister put nair on the back of his head and now there is a huge bald spot there. I feel bad for him because when you are 15 looks are important. He doesn't act upset over it.. but he sure is wearing a hat more often.

I now have 3 dogs. Not just laci. Joshua brought home a puppy and mom left her dog here for me to watch over while she is away in Fla. Thats okay.. just wish the puppy and moms dog were house trained.

JT got in trouble at school today. Apparently he was arguing with an ex girlfriend and he was sent to the principal with the girlfriend. Nothing came out of it but a lecture.. but golly. You would think he would know better than to argue in school.

Joshua and Jenny are really getting closer. I think maybe he will ask her to marry him in about 6 months. She is smart, pretty and kind. Just dont know if she realizes how immature Joshua is. Well, time will tell. Time hardens all of us, so maybe it is good that he is still able to be playful even though he is an EMT and Firefighter. He has seen things at his young age that I never want to see.
May Mother guide and protect all of our youngsters.
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Lightquest
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nice..
This morning, I was cooking breakfast. Did not think nothing of it. All the boys were home and Jenny was here. I had seen JT and Jacob but not Joshua and Jenny. Thought nothing of it really.
Then.. out of the blue, I heard them walking downstairs. Something told me.."Joshua drank last night". I walked towards the front door, and there they both were. Jenny would not look me in the eye, and Joshua was rushing her out. I followed. I looked at Joshua and told him.."Son, when you drop her off, you come right home. We need to have a discussion." I did not raise my voice or anything..but because he nor she would look at me..it confirmed the thought that entered my mind. Now, mind you ..the thought was completely random. I had not even considered that he would have been drinking the night before. Nothing was abnormal.
They left and later, instead of coming home..Joshua called me. He said that Jenny was surprised because she had never seen me angry. -I wasn't- He told me during that conversation that she had a drink, and he drove her to our home last night. I hadn't even asked him about him drinking.
Later, I asked him straight out.. "Were you drinking last night?" He then told me the complete truth. Indeed he had been. I was relieved. Not because he drank, but that instinct that we all have.. was proven to be correct.
Then I started thinking.
Not neccesarily about Joshuas drinking a couple beers, but the way he and Jenny acted when he knew that I knew (although at that time, I didn't say anything about it till later).
I wonder if when we cross over.. is that how we will be when we face our lives and what we did wrong. In my household.. I do not like alcohol in any form. Much less my children drinking. I really frown upon it. And my sons know this.

Will we hold our head down, ashamed of what we did? Afraid to face our creator out of our own guilt? The guilt that is self imposed? Not because our creators are judging us, but because we judged our actions as wrong? Will there be shame?
I still Love Joshua with all of my heart. It doesn't matter what he did wrong. I did not like him being afraid to face me because of the disapointment he would see on my face. Yes, he would have seen disapointment there on my face.. but our creators are perfect. They do not have human ideosyncrisies. They love and understand completely. But will we ourselves hang our head down with shame because of our own judgement? I wonder. And then, if we shall hang our head down with shame.. will it cause them pain knowing that our own judgement is hurting us?

hmmm, much to think about.
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Lightquest
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Medicine Wheel Pt. 1

Well, Thursday we started the Medicine wheel. It is the same as last time, but different. Maybe because I am participating with different eyes. The group we have this year is different. They aren't just curious.. they are there for the same reason I am. Healing.
No one is just curious. Everyone is a participant. Including myself. After doing the wheel last year, I understand more about what he doing. He is a Shaman with very powerful magic.
The wheel speaks to me and others in different ways. Mostly symbolically using Archtypes instead of words. The fact that the archtypes means different things to different people also resonates with me.

The past two days have been the opening ceremony and the creation of our Wheel. Today is a very long day. We have to be there from 9:30 to 9:30 tonight and we will be doing the Shamanic breathing. That is a little scary for me, especially after my last wheel and how I reacted to it. Hopefully since I am actually participating, maybe it will not be as powerful. (yeah right).

Yesterday as I was sitting in the wheel, I almost had a panic attack. What I saw, I have never seen before. The lady sitting across from me, started glowing. I mean, literally glowing. She had this white light surrounding her, and she started vibrating. Scared the hell out of me. Not that she was doing that..just that I saw her doing it. Thought for a momment that I was losing my mind, and felt the need to flee, but I couldn't because I was a part of the wheel. So, I had to ground myself even more and shake it off. All a part of the growth I guess.

Well, I have to go and get ready for todays experience. May your day be blessed, as I pray that mine is.
Love and Be Well
Gin
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Lightquest
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WOW! Now, that medicine wheel was pretty awesome :-)
First, when we started the breathing, I was pretty nervous. Only because the only one prior to that effected me in such a way that left me physically ill for awhile, and I didn't understand.
This time, Dr. Pouland went through alot more detail with the wheel.
When we went through the breathing, ofcourse my shoulders felt like they were being pinned down on the ground. As I continued to do the breathwork, my head began to hurt. Right around the forehead and up.
Then I was taken to the most beautiful place. It was a type of indian ground. It was beautiful. There were teepees in the distance, and at first it was just me there, and then this beautiful woman came up to me. Her hair was blacker than coal with light. She wore this fur cape that was made of white fur, and it was sooo thick that I couldn't see her body. Nor could I actually see her face, her light was sooo bright.
She explained to me that father is above, and she comes from below. She said that she was happy that I had my knowledge of father to sustain me through my life and that I was able to pull upon that love when my life was so horrible.
It was wierd, because I saw a vision, of this beautiful line of light, that came from above my head, and up through the bottom of my feet, coming into my hands through each direction, then coming into my heart, going inside out. Not.. outside in. like I always thought.
Then she explained that my love for others...no matter the abuse...and the ability to love others deeply after they had hurt me, was a gift. She said that Love is the medicine.
Then she handed me a spear. To be honest, I was alittle taken aback. My thoughts were, Shouldn't I be given a knife or a sword.. but she handed me a spear. She said this was to cut through the dark. Then she had me step into this ring and pulled it up over me. The necklace type ring was a little strange. It didn't just have a wolf tooth on it, it had the entire wolf head on it. It didn't have just a bear claw on it, it had the entire bear paw. It didn't just have a feather on it, it had the entire eagle hanging on it. Stuff like that. However, at the time, I didn't think it was gross. I was honored.
She then told me that soon there would be much work to do. The tribes were being gathered. I was to learn from the leaders. She then told me, that ...get this..
I was a healer!
She is calling the healers together to prepare them. For what.. I dont know.
The amount of exquiste love and bliss that I felt from that breathing exercise just amazed me to the point, that I cryed and cried and cried. Oh it was so wonderful.

*****************************************

I also learned something yesterday that has taken me thousands of dollars last year in Doctor bills. I learned to find my center. All of that tingling that I have felt in my body.. guess what... Its NOT anxiety!! All this time, all of that tingling.. I thought it was some form of anxiety. But its not. Its energy pathways. The doctor expalined to me, that after my last breath work last year, the CNS opened up new neuron pathways. That has been the growth I've been experiencing. ITs not a bad thing. ITs a good thing. The energy I have been feeling.. wow. ITs not a "nervous" system. Its energy and its pathways. I am so happy to learn that There is nothing mentally or emotionally wrong with me.
I have spent thousands of dollars on MRI's, CAT scans.. emergency room visits, medicines etc.. all for the doctors to tell me that there was nothing they could do for me except give me tranquilizers, valiums, etc. that they didn't know what was wrong. And now I know. LOL
Folks, I am soooo happy.. I cant tell you all how happy I am to know that I am not crazy!!
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Anita

I am so happy for you. I never thought of you in any way except to admire you. I am just so happy for the peace and learning you are going through. Spiritual growth comes in many forms, sometimes through very hard life lessons, but its so nice when its like this.
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Lightquest
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:-/ We are in a historical snow fall here in Virginia. It started this morning around 9 am and it is still snowing..forecast calling for it to continue through tomorrow night! This is not something I ever thought I'd see. We are all hunkered down and pray that the electric doesn't go off.

Hope all is well with everyone.

Love to all of you..
Gin
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