
| One Man's Banana Is Another Man's Hell; It's not about that, not that either | |
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| Tweet Topic Started: Dec 17 2008, 09:06 PM (80 Views) | |
| Maria Laposata | Dec 17 2008, 09:06 PM Post #1 |
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Maria Laposata
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ONE MAN’S BANANA IS ANOTHER MAN’S HELL By Maria Laposata “No, no, you can’t put zat scarf with zat manikin! Zey will completely clash! Darrrling, you must put zee banana scarf with zee banana sweater.” The French designer had been screaming at his interns for the past three hours. They simply could not understand his new designs. They kept doing crazy things to them, like using fabric. Didn’t they know that cashmere was out? (And good riddance to it, comfort was so overrated.) Bananas were in. They were beautiful! Squished in one’s hair, having a banana peel stuck on one’s heel, either way, they were the perfect accessory. The French designer, Antoine Fifi LeRoque Lama, also known as “Carmen,” was preparing for his runway show that evening. He would release 45 new outfits, all of them completely made out of bananas. And, well, there was a little bit of duct tape involved too. Two hours later the models were taped so stiffly they couldn’t move, the music was playing so loudly three people were planning their lawsuits since they’d been turned deaf, and the runway had so many photographers crowded next to it, the body heat put sweat on the camera lenses. In fact, there was so much going on—so many distractions—that no one seemed to notice a man lurking in the shadows behind the photographers with an AK-47. It was Mr. Plum,---not Professor Plum who killed Miss Scarlett in the kitchen with the knife, this was Mr. Plum, the evil British designer who wanted to kill Carmen in the billiard room with the candlestick. But he knew he could settle for the runway with a gun. Mr. Plum hadn’t always had murderous intentions towards Carmen. In fact, they had once been business partners. Mr. Plum had thought that plums would be the new big thing, but Carmen had thought it would be bananas. And he was right. As soon as he received enough attention from the press to make a man power hungry, he fired Mr. Plum, who went on to design bad plum covered clothes. That didn’t matter though, for that night he would end Carmen’s success forever. Or so he thought. Three months later, Prison Cell Mate #4,725,434,823,764,923,423-b (this is a subtle commentary on the amount of people the United State’s imprisons) was reading the newspaper. Carmen had made the front page. Without even reading the article, the inmate threw down the paper and screamed, “I CAN’T BELIEVE I MISSED!!!!” |
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| Multiplicative | Dec 20 2008, 05:36 AM Post #2 |
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Ooh, creative! Very impressive mix of randomness, imagination, and coherence. I like it, very well written. |
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6:15 PM Jul 11