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Story Time! (DISCUSSION); Feedback is welcome here
Topic Started: Jul 13 2009, 05:57 AM (1,653 Views)
JRich
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I am trying to create a kick ass short story and would like others to read it. I just started it. I will post more as I go. Feedback would be appreciated. It's okay I can handle criticism. Let me know if you think it's even worth finishing. I just bored tonight so i decided to write a little bit. :)

The story is completely moved to the Story Time! topic for viewing. This is for the feedback
Edited by JRich, Jul 17 2009, 02:10 AM.
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JRich
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I need some feedback from people to make it better :(
Oh and by the way... If anyone would like their names in the story let me know and I can add them. If your name is in the story and you would like it removed let me know and I can do that too
Edited by JRich, Jul 13 2009, 08:30 PM.
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Murderus
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add me in ur story :-D and i think its a good start of something.
"GA ZOINKS!!! SCOOBIE DOOBIE DOO!!!" :-D
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ReidE96
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I'm the military leader? Woo! 'Tis a good story, full of LA name goodness.
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INSK
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haha yeah JRICH I wanna be wanna be a bad guy though :D

i like to be evil >:D
MY MSN DELETED ALL CONTACTS ADD ME IF YOU HAD ME: THING0NE@LIVE.COM

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TeraHammer
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pwned :P

Its fun :)
Conquering the Karmina System as Exar Kun this round
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blackwinds
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not bad at all jrich. decent openness for plot and action to develop.

throw me in as a hand to hand combat specialist or somethin. lol that is if you even want to add all us others in who are posting haha
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JRich
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TH owned me :P lol i'll work on the next part tonight. Not sure when i'll finish it. I have to do yardwork the rest of week during the day to clean the yard for a party friday night and im helping with my church's vacation bible school in the evenings.

Due to the request of INSK i'll make him the powerful bad guy
Edited by JRich, Jul 14 2009, 02:33 AM.
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Zink
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I am the best character :P give me more lines :P
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JRich
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lol ok zink. you'll have more as it goes. and would anybody like to me the town drunk who later betrays Timberfall? if not then he will simply just remain a random drunk guy with no name =p
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Zink
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I like that idea better lol
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JRich
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what.. you want to be the drunk?
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Zink
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NO!!!!! lol I want the drunk to stay a dumb drunk :P
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blackwinds
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haha ya know when i wrote my post. i almost wrote make me the town drunk or somethin. but then i saw my mcmap gloves and went back to the hand to hand stuff. but i prefer the drunk to be a random idiot and not me.. lol
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Murderus
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what happend to tera? :p
"GA ZOINKS!!! SCOOBIE DOOBIE DOO!!!" :-D
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INSK
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I ate him :] and he tasted good
MY MSN DELETED ALL CONTACTS ADD ME IF YOU HAD ME: THING0NE@LIVE.COM

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JRich
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haha no hes still there. me and him just werent in that part :P

I'm editing how this story thing works. Comments on it go in here. The other thread is for reading it, thanks to a suggestion from Glog. It should make the story easier to read and flow better. Enjoy =]
Edited by JRich, Jul 14 2009, 03:48 PM.
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ReidE96
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Can I point out we now have two generals?

Chapter 1: "it was ReidE96, the town’s fierce military general"
Chapter 2: "their General Blackwinds"
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blackwinds
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you do know theres a few different ranks for general right? there is brigadier g, major g, lieutenant g, and just plain general.

or another option is that your general of a different part of the military....ie different branch maybe? lol idk, just ideas.
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INSK
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yep :) and both from different cites :D but i will beat you alll mhuahahahahahahha
MY MSN DELETED ALL CONTACTS ADD ME IF YOU HAD ME: THING0NE@LIVE.COM

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