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Vale of the White Horse
Topic Started: 5 Jan 2010, 13:03 (19,268 Views)
Sonja
Red & dangerous! Rawr!
'Just wondering,' he said as he stepped across the treshold. As far as he cared, the servants could observe them together all he wanted. Maybe Laurentius would think again before insisting on a marriage with Essylt. 'We had a long journey, and all.'
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Marieke
Lief! <3 (and powerful!)
She nodded. ‘I’m fine, though. I’m happy to be here. To see my father and…Well, I think Carwyn is just sleeping. I’ll see him soon. Maybe there’s no reason for me to leave again.’
She didn’t want to look at him as she said it, and walked to the window so she could stare outside. ‘After all, I can control myself so much better now…’
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Sonja
Red & dangerous! Rawr!
'So you -' Morcant stopped himself. It was one thing to eavesdrop on a conversation, but quite another to admit to overhearing something private. 'Weren't you supposed to marry this Roman fellow here?' he tried to keep his voice as neutral as possible, but found it exceedingly hard.
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Marieke
Lief! <3 (and powerful!)
Ah, she heard it in his voice. He had heard her father’s words. She hadn’t seen him, but she had not seen him before, when he had plunged from that tree. ‘Yes,’ she said. ‘That was the idea.’
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Sonja
Red & dangerous! Rawr!
'I see.' He pressed his lips together, trying not to blame her. It was logical that she wanted to get back in her father's good graces. Nothing special about that. But why did it have to be a damn Roman? 'In that case we definitely don't want to be seen together in your private room, so I'll leave you to rest, or something.'
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Marieke
Lief! <3 (and powerful!)
She turned around. He looked just as pale as she did, Essylt didn’t need a mirror for that to understand. But everytime his hurt for her got the better of him, he treated her like he was the one that could freeze things to their death.
‘Do you want to elope with me?’ she asked, her fist clenched before she would start to cry, or shout, or do something stupid like clinging to him and using the window to escape. ‘Just say it, then.’
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Sonja
Red & dangerous! Rawr!
Well, did he? Morcant had never considered himself the marrying type, and certainly not the eloping type. But Essylt had changed a lot of things. Not that he instantly wanted to marry her and start a family, but he sure as hell couldn't bear the thought of anyone else touching her. 'What I want doesn't really matter, because we made this trip for you. It's fine if you decide to marry that guy to do your duty.'
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Marieke
Lief! <3 (and powerful!)
She relieved the wound breath in her breast. What had she hoped for? That he’d say yes, that she was the only girl for him forever and that he would not let her be ravished by some man who was not her blood, not her preference and not even her own age?
I do want to hear that, she thought. But if he had, or if he had told her again that he loved her, could she ever decide what was best for her family? There were so few left of them already. And she had understood her father, despite what he might think. This man, a name he had not mentioned, had pressured him to obey. And if she should marry one of the Romans to keep him and Carwyn safe…what could she do?
Essylt pressed her lips together for a moment, then she had to unclench her fist to rub over her eyes. ‘Are you going to hate me for this?’
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Sonja
Red & dangerous! Rawr!
'I couldn't hate you for doing your duty towards your family,' he said, knowing that it was only part of the truth. He wouldn't really hate her, not that, but if she did marry that Roman swine he didn't know exactly what he'd feel, either. Betrayal, perhaps. Certainly anger. But if he told her that, if he told her that he wanted to be the only man ever to touch him - well, what would she think of it? It was selfish, only taking into consideration his own feelings. If Morcant ever got his hands on the one who had made him fall in love, he'd strangle him, God or Good Folk alike.
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Marieke
Lief! <3 (and powerful!)
‘But I haven’t decided yet!’ she protested. She didn’t know why. There was only one choice she could possibly make, and yet…
Essylt shut her mouth, before more treacherous words could leave her. She was being foolish. And selfish. Gods, she had always been selfish, even when she ran from home. Had that not been out of shame as much as she had sought to protect Carwyn? Shaking her head, she made her trembling way to the edge of her bed. It was so neatly made. Had her father ordered that it should be so, even when he had been doubtful of her return?
'I'm sorry, Morcant,' she whispered there. Despite her rubbing, her eyes felt hot and sore from tears. 'We've always been of two worlds. I had to be...reminded of that.'
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Sonja
Red & dangerous! Rawr!
But there wasn't any other decision for her to make, was there? As much as he'd like to convince her to run away, she probably wouldn't. Her father had made it quite clear that this other Roman would harm her family if she didn't marry Laurentius. 'Yes, we're quite different,' he agreed, his voice sounding as though he'd eaten dry sand. 'Don't be sorry for that.'
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Marieke
Lief! <3 (and powerful!)
Wasn’t he sorry for it, then? Essylt closed her eyes to gather herself.
‘Don’t…’ Don’t let me fall, she wanted to tell him. Please, couldn’t he get her up to some safe place, as he’d always done?
No, those were the wrong words entirely. ‘I know you know that it was all just… temporary. Like a dream of sorts. I always had to go back someday.’
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Sonja
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No, you didn't. She'd had asked Rufus, of all people, to tell her father lies about her whereabouts. If it hadn't been for Carwyn, they'd probably still be in the Vale. Oh, don't be ridiculous. What had he hoped for, that she'd agree to stay with him forever after the winter, instead of turning back? 'I've known.' Morcant half-turned, afraid that he wouldn't be able to control himself if he looked any longer at her.
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Marieke
Lief! <3 (and powerful!)
‘Stay.’
She’d said if before there was time to hold her tongue back. And so what if she wasn’t behaving all appropriate? So what if she suddenly had to change back into the chieftain’s unspoilt daughter, when she had shared more with this man than she had even shared with her own father? And if this was the last time she and him could be together, how could she let him walk out? She wanted this! She wanted to be near him. Maybe forever. Maybe just long enough to take him in ad to remember him when he was gone.
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Sonja
Red & dangerous! Rawr!
'I shouldn't. You saw the look on your old man's face when he still thought we'd eloped. Imagine his look when he hears we've been together in your room.' The room where Rufus had also been, he suddenly realized. Did her father know about that? It certainly filled his mind with flames thinking about it. Not only because the man believed that she was still pure, ready wed a Roman, when another Roman had nearly taken her most precious possession - no, not just that. Morcant took a deep breath, the muscles in his shoulders tensing again.
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Marieke
Lief! <3 (and powerful!)
‘But he doesn’t know.’ She swallowed, because he was right. If he wanted to go – if he couldn’t look at her anymore because she had turned into another Essylt than he had known, even though she had not asked for this…She had to let him go. Of course.
Essylt drew a shuddering breath. ‘It’s alright. Go. Your brothers must be waiting for you.’
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Sonja
Red & dangerous! Rawr!
He realized he'd been trying to make up an excuse to leave, but that he really didn't want to leave at all. 'Let them wait,' he grated. They were here to see how her brother was doing, and he wouldn't go until he was absolutely sure the little thing was all right. 'I changed my mind. I'd rather challenge that bastard to a duel than to let him marry you,' he suddenly blurted out and turned around. 'Call me selfish, go ahead. I just can't - don't want it. Not a Roman.'
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Marieke
Lief! <3 (and powerful!)
Essylt only shrugged. Selfish? He had sacrificed a large part of the last two seasons for her sake.
Her heart was beating loudly, she couldn’t help it.
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Sonja
Red & dangerous! Rawr!
Was it a good or a bad thing that she kept silent? Morcant didn't know. There weren't very many things he was sure of, but that he wasn't going to let Essylt marry a Roman more than twice her age was one thing he was absolutely certain of. He knelt down in front of her bed, grabbing her wrist and looking up at her face. 'Don't tell me you want to marry him,' he quite nearly begged.
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Marieke
Lief! <3 (and powerful!)
She wasn’t sure if she had to smile down on him or not. Essylt swallowed again. This was only getting harder.
‘What do you mean with want to?’
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Sonja
Red & dangerous! Rawr!
'That you'd even consider it, that you... I don't know - everything!' It was very nearly a shout, and he cursed himself and his temper for it.
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Marieke
Lief! <3 (and powerful!)
She sighed. ‘Before I met you, I wouldn’t have doubted this so much. I used to be such an obedient daughter.’
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Sonja
Red & dangerous! Rawr!
'Things changed,' he said intently. 'Essylt, with what you can do - don't let your father decide what's best for you.'
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Marieke
Lief! <3 (and powerful!)
‘What do you mean?’ she asked. ‘Freeze the guy to death on our wedding night – is that your suggestion?’
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Sonja
Red & dangerous! Rawr!
'I meant to say that you are fully capable of making your own decisions,' he said, squeezing her hand.
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Marieke
Lief! <3 (and powerful!)
She didn’t know what to say to that. Udd Wyll – oh, she hadn’t thought of him for such a long time. But if both of them said this, perhaps she could. ‘It still doesn’t answer your question, does it?’ she asked softly.
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Sonja
Red & dangerous! Rawr!
'...No,' he replied, suddenly not sure whether he wanted to hear the answer or not.
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Marieke
Lief! <3 (and powerful!)
‘So,’ she muttered. ‘What are you going to do?’
He might kidnap her again, if he got really angry. It might be the best solution.
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Sonja
Red & dangerous! Rawr!
Morcant tried to think of a coherent answer, but found that he couldn't. 'I don't know,' he admitted. 'Leave, if you want to stay.'
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Marieke
Lief! <3 (and powerful!)
And then what would she do? This time, she couldn’t send her owl to him and run away. Well, perhaps she could…But what good would come from that? If he was gone, really gone, she’d have to face the trials of the next years alone. They included a marriage she had never desired less.
Perhaps she could manage to send a message to Rufus. Perhaps he wanted to play with her enough to get her away.
She shook her head, but didn’t even know what it meant. Essylt bent forward. He hadn’t shaven for all their journey, but she still brushed her lips to his, just briefly.
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