br>
Welcome Guest
[Log In]
[Register]
| Welcome wanderer! You seem to have stumbled across Kormada, a wild horse roleplay approaching its ten year anniversary on the net. We are a very friendly and very active community of players of all ages and experience levels. So take a look around, join us, and experience the chaos of life on a planet cheating death with every day of continued existence. Join Kormada and enter the realm! If you're already a member please log in to your account to access all of our features: |
| watch your back; Nero Challenges for Cedar Outpost | |||||
|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Tweet Topic Started: Nov 21 2012, 11:11 PM (410 Views) | |||||
| Kat. | Nov 21 2012, 11:11 PM Post #1 | ||||
![]()
|
The dark bay tobiano stallion cantered into the battle ground the smell of the dead and dying raised the hairs down his spine, the shot of adrenaline was invigorating. Everything became clearer every movement even the slightest caught his attention. Blood surged through his body as he pranced to a place of his choice. This battle would not last long, the poor stallion who claimed the land he so desired would be defeated as easily as batting away an errant fly. He would send this stallion packing just as easily as he had killed his father just those few short months ago. Nero's ears pricked forward as he waited for his opponent to arrive in the clearing. Nero thought back to his brother who had wished to accompany him into the battle grounds. Usually he would let his brother do the dirty work but this was his battle to fight and not some petty matter. So Nero stood there waiting, crimson eyes darting about. A sneer marred his handsome face as he waited for the current owner of Cedar Outpost to arrive. |
||||
![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() No. Alecto Does Not Have A Lisp. It is just the way he talks. Sort of like a Snake. | |||||
| [ OFFLINE ] [ PROFILE ] | [ QUOTE POST ] [ GO TO TOP ] | ||||
| Chips909 | Nov 22 2012, 11:11 PM Post #2 | ||||
|
Where the points don't matter!
|
|
||||
All The Good Monsters
| |||||
| [ OFFLINE ] [ PROFILE ] | [ QUOTE POST ] [ GO TO TOP ] | ||||
| Kat. | Nov 25 2012, 02:10 PM Post #3 | ||||
![]()
|
![]()
Edited by Kat., Dec 2 2012, 03:19 PM.
|
||||
![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() No. Alecto Does Not Have A Lisp. It is just the way he talks. Sort of like a Snake. | |||||
| [ OFFLINE ] [ PROFILE ] | [ QUOTE POST ] [ GO TO TOP ] | ||||
| Chips909 | Nov 25 2012, 10:14 PM Post #4 | ||||
|
Where the points don't matter!
|
Ebony lobes disappeared into thick ebony tresses at Nero's words. A scowl started at his lips, and his eyes flashed, the younger equine had already pissed him off, but now with his words, talking to him like he was some dumb beast, made his blood boil. It was hot, and his silver eyes flashed. "I'm no fool you blasted idiot, I know how a battle works!" He said, his anger in his voice. He stared down his opponent, though calmed himself, he didn't want his fury to be the sore fuel for this battle. He needed to be clear headed, though his anger still burned red as he stared the arrogant stallion down. "Alright I'll make it quick." He growled, and giving just a twitch of the ears as a signal, started the battle. Attack One: The powerful ebony stallion threw himself towards the bay paint. His back hooves dug into the ground as he pushed off the earth beneath him, gathering as much power as he could before hopefully colliding with the other stallion. As he got close ivory teeth tried to catch the other anywhere he could, preferably the knees, or somewhere on his legs, but anywhere he could get him was fine. The ebony stallion thought he felt something near his mouth as he tried to collide with his rival, and latched on the best he could, though if could very well have been ground, he couldn't tell. All he could hear was the blood pumping in his ears, drowning out anything else, his adrenaline rush though him, fueling him. After his assault he stood to quickly asses the damage done, and ready himself for an attack from the stallion. Everything was sharper in his eyes, a blade of grass stood out more, and his hearing returned as he stood for a second, catching his breath, and then rallied himself together, ready for whatever came next. |
||||
All The Good Monsters
| |||||
| [ OFFLINE ] [ PROFILE ] | [ QUOTE POST ] [ GO TO TOP ] | ||||
| Kat. | Nov 27 2012, 06:13 PM Post #5 | ||||
![]()
|
![]()
|
||||
![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() No. Alecto Does Not Have A Lisp. It is just the way he talks. Sort of like a Snake. | |||||
| [ OFFLINE ] [ PROFILE ] | [ QUOTE POST ] [ GO TO TOP ] | ||||
| Chips909 | Dec 1 2012, 04:43 PM Post #6 | ||||
|
Where the points don't matter!
|
Defense 1: The stallion could tell that he hadn't done much damage, and cursed himself, but Nero was already propelling himself at the ebony male. He snorted, and stood his ground as the bay quickly covered the distance between them. He seemed to swerve to the left, Lestat propelled himself forward, though saw the flash of ivory teeth. The black's movement forward had caused Nero's teeth to catch him right in front of the eye, blood spilling out of the gash, and some skin ripped off from the opposite direction both stallions were taking. He could feel the crimson hot on his skin as it flowed out of his wounds. It ran into his mouth, the hot metallic liquid sour in his mouth. He shook his head, his tresses getting into his wounds, making the exposed flesh to sting. Attack 2: All this had happened quickly, and Lestat was now finishing his first stride. He coupled his back legs under him, muscles rippling as he collected himself, readying himself. He then shoot his hind legs out at the bay stallion, hoping to hit him in the head, or his soft under belly. He then recovered, and his feet returned to the ground, and readied himself for the next attack. |
||||
All The Good Monsters
| |||||
| [ OFFLINE ] [ PROFILE ] | [ QUOTE POST ] [ GO TO TOP ] | ||||
| Kat. | Dec 2 2012, 04:45 PM Post #7 | ||||
![]()
|
![]()
|
||||
![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() No. Alecto Does Not Have A Lisp. It is just the way he talks. Sort of like a Snake. | |||||
| [ OFFLINE ] [ PROFILE ] | [ QUOTE POST ] [ GO TO TOP ] | ||||
| Chips909 | Dec 5 2012, 09:52 PM Post #8 | ||||
|
Where the points don't matter!
|
Defense 2: Lestat's gash was worse than he thought, the stallion teeth might have reached the bone, though there wasn't much flesh there anyways, so it was possible. He was certain it would scar, though had no time to think on it as the bay started circle him. He didn't want to be like cornered prey, and bite out at the stallion, though purposely missed. Nero made his way around to his back side, and silver eyes followed him, and his ebony body moved to keep the bay facing him. Though he was a few seconds to late, and Nero was charging him. When Nero got close enough to do any damage he was looking Lestat on broadside, and as the warmblood rose, so did the black, lashing out at him with forelegs and teeth, though missing, and Nero came down on his shoulders, forcing Lestat back to the blood stained ground. His shoulder buckle underneath him, unable to hold his full weight, though he heaved himself up, and gingerly balanced on it, though when he put pressure on it it wouldn't hold. His face still gushed blood, and he felt a hot trickle down his shoulder as a gash made itself know. He knew it would be very sore fora while, if something was not broken, it would be a long road to recovery. He stood, facing his opponent, ready to fight again if needed, he wouldn't give up, not yet. A scowl appeared on his face as his leg hung limp, and his face half torn off. He didn't feel like saying anything, and left it to the red eyed devil opposite to him to speak. |
||||
All The Good Monsters
| |||||
| [ OFFLINE ] [ PROFILE ] | [ QUOTE POST ] [ GO TO TOP ] | ||||
| Magnanimous | Dec 9 2012, 03:49 PM Post #9 | ||||
|
using kim’s layout cuz it rocks first attacks CHIPS AND LESTAT comments: the first time I read through, I wasn’t sure if your attack was the launching, or the biting. Be careful of this! If I hadn’t reread it a few times, I would have thought it was a double attack. otherwise, good job. Not the most original, but realistic and well described. originality: 3/5 damage done: 4/5 realism: 5/5 total: 12/15 GHOST AND NERO comments: nice! Not the most original, but effective and well written. originality: 3/5 damage done: 4/5 realism: 5/5 total: 12/15 ________________________________________________________________________ first defenses CHIPS AND LESTAT comments: cut underneath the eye; very good description of the damage! Fair from the attack, and definitely no super-horse here. originality: 5/5 damage done: 5/5 realism: 5/5 total: 15/15 GHOST AND NERO comments: scraped skin on knee; I was actually disappointed with this; the way it read was confusing, and I feel as if the damage was light compared to the attack. Watch for this!! originality: 4/5 damage done: 3/5 realism: 4/5 total: 12/15 ________________________________________________________________________ second attacks CHIPS AND LESTAT comments: short and sweet. Common, but it works. Remember to carry on his injuries! I saw no evidence of the blood getting in his way, etc. originality: 2/5 damage done: 5/5 realism: 4/5 total: 11/15 GHOST AND NERO comments: nice. This is a rather uncommon attack; I haven’t seen it often. originality: 4/5 damage done: 5/5 realism: 5/5 total: 14/15 ________________________________________________________________________ second defenses CHIPS AND LESTAT comments: injured shoulder; gash on shoulder. ALSO well done mentioning the previous damage, I was happy to see that. originality: 4/5 damage done: 5/5 realism: 5/5 total: 14/15 GHOST AND NERO comments: fractured jaw; im assuming cut skin? This is appropriate originality: 5/5 damage done: 5/5 realism: 5/5 total: 15/15 ________________________________________________________________________ RESULTS CHIPS AND LESTAT comments: I found few errors. Mostly I would suggest plugging the post in to a word processor. Also, watch for double attacks; I felt that the first one was toing the line. grammar / punctuation / spelling: 4/5 total: 56/65 GHOST AND NERO comments: few errors found—watch your sentences, I saw a few fragments which made it weird to read; my only note is to watch for the super horsing! You lost points for your first defense. grammar / punctuation / spelling: 4/5 total: 57/65 the victor is: GHOST AND NERO Holy cow, you guys. This was SO close. Literally one point away!!! Very very close; it was fun to judge. My only suggestion: make it longer & clearer. Well done, my dears! |
||||
![]() we are not things; those were her words! salome | ishtar | piper| riesling | rani | anael | iscaie | silas | faolan | sven | nyss| | |||||
| [ OFFLINE ] [ PROFILE ] | [ QUOTE POST ] [ GO TO TOP ] | ||||
| 1 user reading this topic (1 Guest and 0 Anonymous) | |||||
![]() Our users say it best: "Zetaboards is the best forum service I have ever used." Learn More · Register Now |
|
| « Previous Topic · Battle Grounds · Next Topic » |
| Theme: Kormada November 2015 | Track Topic · E-mail Topic |
9:11 AM Jul 11
|













9:11 AM Jul 11