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| come let the revolution take it's toll; Martyr challenges for Serpent's Province | |||||
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| Tweet Topic Started: Oct 16 2012, 10:47 AM (701 Views) | |||||
| ƒierce | Oct 16 2012, 10:47 AM Post #1 | ||||
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i've not yet begun to defile myself.
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M A R T Y Ri shall be notorious This land was foreign to the young blue roan, but he supposed that this specific territory would glorify his name in the future. He had gone home to Serpent's Province, if only to bugle a challenge to the stallion who had briefly relished his victory. Viral had not showed up for his battle, and Martyr's only thought as to why was that the older male was tired of fighting. The scent of his mother had lingered in the direction of the Foaling Quarry; so he could hope that she would return. She was an older sort of mare, his dam, but Sapphire's time was nearing anyway. If she died, it would not surprise him. The young corn spot-speckled stallion strode forward, passing the blood-stained earth was little more than the blink of an eye. His black tail swished across his hocks as he walked on. Coming to an eventual stop in a large enough clearing, Martyr raised his head and looked about quietly. If the defender of Serpent's Province did not show, Martyr would begin his reign in three days, no more, no less. But he was just at the beginning of his trial. This was a rite of passage. martyr . mustang hybrid . blue roan overo . blue eyes . 15.3 hands . dark . viral x sapphire moon |
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| devotchka | Oct 19 2012, 06:01 AM Post #2 | ||||
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WELL SWEET MOTHER TERESA ON THE HOOD OF A MERCEDES BENZ
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Ooc :: Sen, as I have posted in the absence board I cannot get online to post within the time limit. I am more than happy for Martyr to challenge Orion when I have internet back, but feel this is a little unfair as I don't have the resources at the moment. |
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| ƒierce | Oct 19 2012, 06:29 PM Post #3 | ||||
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i've not yet begun to defile myself.
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I'm happy to wait for you to post, Kay. I just wanted to bust out a battle post while I had the muse for it.
Edited by ƒierce, Oct 19 2012, 06:30 PM.
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| devotchka | Nov 3 2012, 03:01 PM Post #4 | ||||
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WELL SWEET MOTHER TERESA ON THE HOOD OF A MERCEDES BENZ
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![]() ____________________________________________ in these cages we call walls ~ | |||||
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| ƒierce | Nov 6 2012, 11:12 AM Post #5 | ||||
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i've not yet begun to defile myself.
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M A R T Y Ri shall be notorious The blue roan overo would have admitted that he should have taken over the Province before the foreign male had come to claim it. But, between his mother's disappearance and the search parties for Viral and trying to keep track of the herd before sending them to Sterling Earldom, the opportunity had escaped him. Despite that, Martyr felt it was his duty to try and take back their home. He doubted that any of his brothers would fight for him, should he fail, much less win it back and be willing to let Martyr himself take the throne. Orion would have the advantage of having battled before, as well as a slight height advantage. As the bay stallion came into the blue overo's line of sight, the younger male's blood ran cold and hot in increasing increments. He was nervous but did not visibly show it, and Martyr stood calmly. The bay spoke, and Martyr shifted his weight. Nodding, his blue eyes met those of the other. "Agreed." The blue roan raised his head a few degrees, debating the attack he would have to make. attack one The young stallion didn't want to risk rearing up in case the other male decided to cause damage to his stomach area. His blue gray ears pinned back into the jet mass of his mane, getting them out of the way in case the bay decided to go for the ears. So, the blue roan overo darted forward. In mid-motion, his rear swerved forward, making his entire body reverse to face away from the bay instead of toward him. While this was done, Martyr's hindlegs kicked out in the air behind him. The young blue stallion couldn't be for sure whether his hooves had impacted the bay or, if they had, where they had struck. The force of his kick could have been enough to damage ribs or shoulders, maybe even Orion's chest if Martyr had the right angle. All would be revealed in time. martyr . mustang hybrid . blue roan overo . blue eyes . 15.3 hands . dark . viral x sapphire moon Edited by ƒierce, Nov 6 2012, 12:40 PM.
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| devotchka | Nov 6 2012, 01:19 PM Post #6 | ||||
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WELL SWEET MOTHER TERESA ON THE HOOD OF A MERCEDES BENZ
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![]() ____________________________________________ in these cages we call walls ~ | |||||
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| ƒierce | Nov 8 2012, 09:33 PM Post #7 | ||||
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i've not yet begun to defile myself.
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M A R T Y Ri shall be notorious The blue roan overo didn't want to subconsciously think that he had lived his life for this moment, but the remnant of the thought plucked at his concentration. He couldn't over-think this battle, but the male couldn't risk to under-think it either. Even if Viral or Sapphire Moon never made it back to the Province, at least he could tll his family that he had given the battle his all. Could his numerous half-brothers say that with the same sense of conviction? defense one When his hindlegs met the ground, the blue overo breathed deeply, wary as to what attack the bay would now throw. Not having seen the other stallion rise up on his hindlegs and still having a little bit of momentum from his first attack, Martyr's young body moved forward a few degrees, which would be enough to have his spine avoid any damage. Before Martyr could move any father, Orion attacks, crashing down hard; his hooves strike down on Martyr's haunches, causing the blue roan's hindlegs to buckle beneath him. Martyr grits his teeth as the stallion's hooves meet his body, mentally noting the thud with which the hard hooves make impact. He would most definitely be bruised for a long while, if the end of his spine hadn't been damaged, and his pelt would be stained with blood if the bay's hooves had cut into his skin. Before his legs completely fold beneath his body, the blue roan tries to defend himself from further damage, pushing his body up at an angle so that he does not fall to the ground under Orion's hooves. The blue overo notes the burning sensation and near-crippling pain which rings from his hindquarters as he clumsily sidesteps away from the now-standing bay stallion. attack two Martyr's cornspot-speckled form moves away from the bay stallion's at a slow trot, having only narrowly escaped paralysis a few moments before. Breathing heavily, the blue overo comes to a stop, waiting a moment so that he can breathe, giving both he and his opponent a few seconds to collect their minds. Martyr then darts forward again, using his youthful agility and ignoring the screaming pain from his haunches as he attacks for the second time. Instead of using his hindend, the blue roan decides to come at the bay male head on. His alabaster maw surges forward beneath Orion's head to grab at the stallion's throat, seeking to either momentarily choking him or use his teeth to cut into the stallion's throat. Martyr can't tell if he has the bay's damaged neck in his mouth or he merely tastes his own blood. So, the blue overo crunches his teeth together and darts a few paces away. Orion's air had been cut off for a few moments or he had an injury on his muscled neck, but that was only if Martyr had even gotten to his throat. If he hadn't, the attack had been for naught. martyr . mustang hybrid . blue roan overo . blue eyes . 15.3 hands . dark . viral x sapphire moon |
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| devotchka | Nov 9 2012, 11:00 AM Post #8 | ||||
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WELL SWEET MOTHER TERESA ON THE HOOD OF A MERCEDES BENZ
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![]() ____________________________________________ in these cages we call walls ~ | |||||
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| ƒierce | Nov 9 2012, 12:13 PM Post #9 | ||||
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i've not yet begun to defile myself.
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M A R T Y Ri shall be notorious It had momentarily bewildered the young stallion to have risen up in the air with the bay, but having his teeth on target had been important. His muzzle, now stained with the stallion's blood, parted, the metallic taste of the bodily fluid sharp on his tongue. Looking at his opponent, the overo hadn't thought he could have caused that much damage to one being. His hindlegs shook, a tremor going through his muscle and bones as his muscles burned and ached. Ears briefly pinned back into his ebony mane; some TLC was going to be needed after this was over. defense two Having been faced mostly away from the bay with his head turned, Martyr's blue eyes didn't see the taller stallion coming, and, by the time he heard him, it was too late. The bay's form slid against his painted side and shoulders, surprisingly close to the overo. In the same moment, Orion's teeth part and close over the overo's poll. Despite the blow having landed more on Martyr's neck than head, that didn't stop the blood that now seeped from the deep wound. The attacker whipped his head back and forth twice, each time ripping further into the already jagged, punctured neck. Martyr didn't try to scramble away, afraid that if Orion jerked again that the force would snap his neck or tear what flesh was wounded further away or even risk having it ripped off completely. Thankfully, the bay releases his hold and backs up, and Martyr is left with his own blood dripping down his neck and face, the red liquid soaking his mane and forelock, staining his white face. The roan overo lowers his head, wincing at the movement, and nods to the bay stallion. Who knew how long it would take this wound to heal? If anything, his neck would take some time to heal itself, possibly over the next few months. The spot would tender, and he wouldn't able to move his head much until it healed or scabbed over. Martyr gingerly tries to raise his head a few degrees and retain some dignity, but, after he encounters a sharp stinging sensation, he stops. They were done. Time to see who had won and who had failed. martyr . mustang hybrid . blue roan overo . blue eyes . 15.3 hands . dark . viral x sapphire moon Edited by ƒierce, Nov 9 2012, 08:13 PM.
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| Magnanimous | Nov 10 2012, 02:00 PM Post #10 | ||||
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using kim’s layout cuz it rocks first attacks SEN AND MARTYR comments: simple, effective, easy to understand, well done! originality: 3/5 damage done: 4/5 realism: 5/5 total: 12/15 KAY AND ORION comments: don’t think I’ve seen this often, nice and original. Well-written, easy to understand & effective. originality: 4/5 damage done: 4/5 realism: 5/5 total: 13/15 ________________________________________________________________________ first defenses SEN AND MARTYR comments: the damage is vague; cuts and bruises along his hindquarters, possibly a dislocated/sprained hip. appropriate originality: 5/5 damage done: 5/5 realism: 5/5 total: 15/15 KAY AND ORION comments: two broken ribs; possible bruising, this is appropriate originality: 5/5 damage done: 5/5 realism: 5/5 total: 15/15 ________________________________________________________________________ second attacks SEN AND MARTYR comments: clear and well written; very popular in battles, so ive seen it often. Well done carrying on his injuries! originality: 1/5 damage done: 4/5 realism: 5/5 total: 10/15 KAY AND ORION comments: clear and well written, carried his injuries nicely. A bite to the poll; less original than your first attack but not common originality: 3/5 damage done: 4/5 realism: 5/5 total: 12/15 ________________________________________________________________________ second defenses SEN AND MARTYR comments: ripped skin on up[per neck; I am not clear of the location. This damage is appropriate originality: 4/5 damage done: 4/5 realism: 5/5 total: 13/15 KAY AND ORION comments: large rip/flap of skin on neck. No arterial damage. This is appropriate. originality: 4/5 damage done: 4/5 realism: 5/5 total: 13/15 ________________________________________________________________________ RESULTS SEN AND MARTYR comments: not many errors found; only suggestion I have is to watch those commas! Also! Try for more original attacks =] grammar / punctuation / spelling: 5/5 total: 55/65 KAY AND ORION comments: very few to no errors found. As always, reading your battle’s is very fun. grammar / punctuation / spelling: 5/5 total: 58/65 the victor is: KAY AND ORION This battle was super close! Only a three point difference. Well done my dears! |
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