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| Just for Kicks and Giggles (Fake! and Complete); This is a fake right between Chips and I to increase our awesomeness | |
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| Tweet Topic Started: Jun 26 2012, 11:03 PM (361 Views) | |
| mustangcanyon | Jun 26 2012, 11:03 PM Post #1 |
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The golden palomino stallion moved quietly through the trees. He was not excited as he had been in his first battle. That had only ended badly. He knew that in reality he had no idea what he was doing, or even why he challenged the stallion. It was just like the last time. The young stallion had lunged head long into another fight when he obviously didn't know the first thing about it. All in all his choice had been bad. He didn't even know who he was meeting here. Peeta came out into the open and decided to wait there among the blood covered grass for the other stallion to make his appearance. |
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Stallions Corr, Shaniko, Rangle, Nightwing Mares Nakoma, Mexico, Hadley, Shaquita,Zaltana, Dawn, Flare, Nala, Blair, Quartni, Foals Harmony (born July 31 2012), Aislinn (Born Oct. 26, 2012), Marvel (Born Oct 27, 2012), Catori (Born Sept. 22 2012), Bouron (Jan 10, 2013) | |
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| Chips909 | Jun 28 2012, 04:04 PM Post #2 |
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Where the points don't matter!
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EXODUS The stallion walk grimly into the bloody grounds. The blood was everywhere on the ground, staining the new blades of grass trying to grow in the trampled down area. The stallion's dark face was set in a serious look. His lips were set in a straight line, and his nostrils flared slightly at the smell of the blood. His stayed on the outskirts, looking for the stallion. It was still early, and the brindle stallion stood rigid, waiting for the youngster to show himself. He thought the light colored male had backed out last minute, changing his mind. He soon saw him, standing off a bit in a particularly grassy part. His ears twitched, and he started towards him. His dark honey eyes were cold to the other stallion, and he stood to his full height. His 15.3 frame wasn't as big as some, but big enough for the sorria cross. The golden stallion was about an inch shorter then the brindle grulla, but Exodus was tall enough. He stopped a few feet in front of the male, and tossed his head a bit, his stark black mane waved though the air. He wanted to get this done as fast as possible. His black tail whisked though the air, slapping against his rump. He pawed the ground a bit, his patience wearing thin with the young stallion as he waited for him to do something. Edited by Chips909, Jun 28 2012, 05:58 PM.
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All The Good Monsters
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| mustangcanyon | Jun 29 2012, 11:21 PM Post #3 |
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Peeta watched as the stallion stepped forward. This had to be Exodus. Looking at him made Peeta feel slightly inadiquate. The golden stallion cleared his throat. "I'm Peeta. You must be the stallion I challenged." The younger stallion's voice was much quieter than he intended it to be. The golden stallion wasn't even sure why he had challenged the older stalion. Wasn't he happy as a beta? He was, but he felt so useless there. He needed to make his own way and not stand below another stallion for the rest of life. (ooc: sorry it is so short. My muse is running low) |
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Stallions Corr, Shaniko, Rangle, Nightwing Mares Nakoma, Mexico, Hadley, Shaquita,Zaltana, Dawn, Flare, Nala, Blair, Quartni, Foals Harmony (born July 31 2012), Aislinn (Born Oct. 26, 2012), Marvel (Born Oct 27, 2012), Catori (Born Sept. 22 2012), Bouron (Jan 10, 2013) | |
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| Chips909 | Jul 2 2012, 05:29 PM Post #4 |
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Where the points don't matter!
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Exodus's cold honey eyes looked at him. "Yes, I am Exodus of Grizzly Heights." He said in a gruff voice. He wasn't at all happy to be here, he didn't have time for this. He had foals, and his mares at home. He wanted to get back to them as fast as possible, but there was a chance he wouldn't have a home again. He pushed the thought out of his mind. He watched the other stallion a bit, wondering what he would do if he won. Would he imprison his herd? Demand that they follow him? He narrowed his eyes a bit. If he did Exodus would do everything in his power to get them back. The brindled stallion snorted, and shifted his weight a little, his faded black tail slapping against his quarter occasionally. He wasn't really happy with the 'introductions' right now, and wanted to get this over with. His dark ears twitched sightly, his whole body language showing agitation, and even anger. (I'm a little low on muse too xD) |
All The Good Monsters
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| mustangcanyon | Jul 5 2012, 06:33 PM Post #5 |
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"Good to know you're the right stallion." The palomino said. Attack one: Peeta lept forward toward the stallion, but didn't build up much momentum. He only wanted to get closer to Exodus, not run into him. The stallion slowed from a canter to a halt and then walked forward to share breaths with Exodus. The golden stallion took in a couple of breaths and let them out before shifting his weight onto his hind legs and rearing up above the stallion. He hoped that he might be able to strike a few blows to the stallion's upper body before he was forced to return all four feet to the ground. Once Peeta's front end was sufficiently lifted he began striking out with his hooves. He wasn't sure if he hit Exodus, but he soon found his hooves hitting the ground with a thud. Peeta watched the stallion warily, looking for signs on injury or attack. |
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Stallions Corr, Shaniko, Rangle, Nightwing Mares Nakoma, Mexico, Hadley, Shaquita,Zaltana, Dawn, Flare, Nala, Blair, Quartni, Foals Harmony (born July 31 2012), Aislinn (Born Oct. 26, 2012), Marvel (Born Oct 27, 2012), Catori (Born Sept. 22 2012), Bouron (Jan 10, 2013) | |
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| Chips909 | Jul 7 2012, 07:03 PM Post #6 |
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Where the points don't matter!
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Defense 1: Exodus stiffened when the stallion ran at him, but stayed where he was, exchanging breaths with the golden stallion. It surprised him when he reared up, so quickly that the brindle stallion barley had time to process the whole event. He lept back, though a few of Peeta's strikes hit his head. The were powerful, and blood gushed down his face, into his eyes, he snorted, and tried to regain himself. He cursed himself for not being ready, and tried to look around. His world spun for a moment, but he didn't want to stand here long, he would be vulnerable to another attack. His world stopped revolving a bit, and he planned his next move. Attack 1: He threw his body at the stallion, raising up in a half rear at him, hoping to catch him somehow, preferably in the middle, though in his still slightly distorted state he couldn't be sure where he was hitting, if he was. The blood still poured down his face, and into his honey colored eyes, which were shut tight when he had flown at the stallion. He slid short, and turn back to the stallion, ready to asses both their conditions, and prepare for the next attack. |
All The Good Monsters
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| mustangcanyon | Jul 12 2012, 10:36 PM Post #7 |
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Defense 1: Peeta was unprepared for the stallion's charge. When Exodus reared up Peeta began to rear again as well, but he was struck in his lower neck by the stallion's sharp hooves. The hooves slid down Peeta's neck and chest before leaving his body. The stallion was caught off balance and quickly descended to the ground again. He wasn't sure how baddly the stallion's hooves had gouged his lower neck and chest, but he could feel the hot, sticky wetness of blood on his golden coat. Peeta had to get out of the way before he was hit again. He quickly turned to the side and trotted quickly out of Exodus's range. Once he was out of harm's way Peeta turned around once again to face Exodus. Attack 2: Peeta couldn't pick up much speed from where he stood, but he lept forward with as much force as he could muster. The stallion had only taken a few steps when he slowed down enough to swing his haunches around to face Exodus. He wished to ram his hind quarters into the stallion and then kick out his hind legs. Once the stallion's hind was facing Exodus Peeta shifted his weight to his front hooves, ducking his head. He kicked out behind him with great force. He wasn't sure if his hooves hit Exodus or if he only imagined them striking the stallion. Once Peeta's hooves were all back on the ground he quicky moved away from the stallion again. Peeta turned to face Exodus, waiting for his next attack. |
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Stallions Corr, Shaniko, Rangle, Nightwing Mares Nakoma, Mexico, Hadley, Shaquita,Zaltana, Dawn, Flare, Nala, Blair, Quartni, Foals Harmony (born July 31 2012), Aislinn (Born Oct. 26, 2012), Marvel (Born Oct 27, 2012), Catori (Born Sept. 22 2012), Bouron (Jan 10, 2013) | |
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| Chips909 | Jul 17 2012, 08:53 PM Post #8 |
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Where the points don't matter!
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Defense 2: The stallion barely had time to rear up, for to world had stopped spinning so bad, and he was able to move more freely. He mustn't be as slow as he had been, and he reared, trying to back up at the same time. Peeta's hard hooves, hit the dark stallion squarely in the jaw. He heard the sound when the golden stallion's feet connected with his head. Exodus was up just high enough to avoid a break, but he knew he would be sore for a long time after. He couldn't think about the pain that was to come later, his adrenaline coursed though his veins, and there was no pain. The world was sharper, and he shut his eyes shut was his head whipped back, force by Peeta's blow. His neck stretched painfully, and his feet went a little higher than they were before. When his feet hit the ground Exodus's world was blurred again, but quickly fell into place. He glanced around him, seeing that Peeta had already scurried away from him. He could see the gash in his neck, and chest, and though of his own wounds. The gashes above his face, still streaming a steady flow of crimson, and now his jaw, which was starting to ache a bit. He shut his burning eyes, which burned from the blood, trying to bring some relief to them. But this was battle, there was no relief until it was over. So he pushed the thoughts out, and clenched his jaw, which sent pain shooting though his head. He ignored it, but relaxed his jaw as he thought of his next move. Attack 2: He stood for a moment long before running at the stallion, he knew it wasn't the strongest attack, but he could at least try. When he got close enough he reached out his head, and slid to a stop, biting at Peeta's golden knees as hard as he could. His ivory teeth snapped in the air, and he could hear them snap together sometimes. He backed off a bit, spinning nimbly on his haunches, to face his opponent. His sides heaved a bit more than they should. He was out of shape, and hadn't had to battle for a long time. He waited for something to happen, carefully watching the other stallion. Edited by Chips909, Jul 18 2012, 05:44 PM.
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All The Good Monsters
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| mustangcanyon | Jul 18 2012, 09:08 PM Post #9 |
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Defense 2: Peeta watched as Exodus came at him. The golden stallion had no time to move away, but was able to spin slightly to the side on his haunches before Exodus made contact with his body. Peeta winced when he felt Exodus's teeth clench down on his left forearm, just below the elbow. The stallion tried to hop away on his three other legs, trying to free his forearm from Exodus's jaws. Peeta stumbled slightly, but by that time the crushing grip on his leg had slackened. Peeta looked up at the other stallion who had backed off. Peeta didn't dare take his eyes off of Exodus. He didn't want to be caught off guard by another attack. He tested his weight on his injured leg. It held, but it was extremely painful. He felt the wetness of blood dripping down his leg and there was a sting accompanying the burning pain. Peeta kept his eyes trained on Exodus. |
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Stallions Corr, Shaniko, Rangle, Nightwing Mares Nakoma, Mexico, Hadley, Shaquita,Zaltana, Dawn, Flare, Nala, Blair, Quartni, Foals Harmony (born July 31 2012), Aislinn (Born Oct. 26, 2012), Marvel (Born Oct 27, 2012), Catori (Born Sept. 22 2012), Bouron (Jan 10, 2013) | |
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| `d e p p | Jul 30 2012, 10:05 PM Post #10 |
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I think everybody's nuts.
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i'm using kim's lovely layout, since it's easy and not hard to understand<3 haha. first attacks MUSTANGCANYON & PEETA comments: not very creative, and not really a surprise, considering he was right there when he did it. could prove effective though. originality: 0/5 damage done: 2/5 realism: 4/5 total: 6/15 CHIP & EXODUS comments: i don't really understand this 100%--it sounds like he did kinda what peeta had done before, just at a different angle. originality: 0/5 damage done: 2/5 realism: 5/5 total: 7/15 ________________________________________________________________________ first defenses MUSTANGCANYON & PEETA comments: his neck and chest were cut deeply by exodus' hooves. these are appropriate. originality: 3/5 damage done: 4/5 realism: 5/5 total: 12/15 CHIP & EXODUS comments: his head got hit and started bleeding badly. these are appropriate. originality: 3/5 damage done: 4/5 realism: 5/5 total: 12/15 ________________________________________________________________________ second attacks MUSTANGCANYON & PEETA comments: again, i've seen this before many times. also, i would like to see peeta's injuries carried more onto the next attack (remember, it's technically only been a few min since he was first attacked). originality: 0/5 damage done: 2/5 realism: 4/5 total: 6/15 CHIP & EXODUS comments: quite unique, though i'm not sure how effective this would be. and, like mc, please remember to carry on his injuries--it hasn't been that long since he was attacked. originality: 4/5 damage done: 2/5 realism: 3/5 total: 9/15 ________________________________________________________________________ second defenses MUSTANGCANYON & PEETA comments: one of his forelegs was bitten. this is appropriate, given the attack, but it's not much. originality: 1/5 damage done: 3/5 realism: 5/5 total: 9/15 CHIP & EXODUS comments: his jaw was hit, but not broken. these are appropriate--thanks for mentioning his former wounds. originality: 2/5 damage done: 3/5 realism: 5/5 total: 10/15 ________________________________________________________________________ RESULTS MUSTANGCANYON & PEETA comments: i found several grammar/spelling errors, but not too much. i would suggest more originality, something that wouldn't happen in most battles, and carry on his injuries to the next posts. grammar / punctuation / spelling: 4/5 total: 37/65 CHIP & EXODUS comments: i did find some grammar/spelling errors, but nothing too bad. again, i'd suggest more creativeness and realistic, and carry on his injuries throughout--but i can tell you tried with this! grammar / punctuation / spelling: 4/5 total: 42/65 the victor is: CHIP & EXODUS the battle was so close! great job! |
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