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| Tweet Topic Started: Jan 1 2012, 10:12 PM (432 Views) | |
| Rival | Jan 1 2012, 10:12 PM Post #1 |
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sweet dreams && flying machines in pieces on the ground.
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V I K A R U S A rubicund shimmer is what one might see upon first trekking this particular patch of dirt, the crimson shiver of the mare's pelt standing out against all else at first. Prime flicks down to alight the chestnut mare as if she were shrouded in flames; the thing which gave her away was the fact that she didn't writhe in pain from it. No, this was the devilish mare's true coloration which so complimented the fiery ball above. She is wickedly ready for a battle to begin and so comes here in search of trouble. Surely there were others who simply relished in watching as another equine's blood stained the ground from whence they came. She is a strikingly athletic Oldenburg, one of the eldest of breeds, and stands at a solidly muscular height of sixteen three. She is intimidating with her complimentary blend of grace and power; truly a match when it came to battles. Her previous scuffles have left evidence in the form of a short mane, scarred hindquarters and withers as well as a patch at her throat which has simply given up the possibility of hair returning. Nonetheless, the sorrel is standing of sound body and not quite so sound mind awaiting a worthy opponent. She stands square, a block of perfection with attentions focused and the simple rise and fall of her sturdy barrel the only signs of life. Her black rimmed nostrils flutter with every breath, dark eyes alight with glee at the possibility of relieving an equine of its life today. Her back is to a sheer wall of mountain, a wide clearing of well beaten dirt before her ensuring that none would attack with surprise. This would be a fair fight, unfortunately. The mid afternoon appearance of Prime would bear witness to that. |
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the picket fence [i f there is a f u t u r e we want it n o w] // m e r i d i a n // r e u b e n // a s p e c t // ![]() While I am no longer an active member of the community, I adore my characters and peeps nonetheless! | |
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| Taboo | Jan 1 2012, 11:02 PM Post #2 |
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M i d n i g h t M a r a i g h With a heavy grunt, a dusty mare removed herself from her resting place near a stand of trees. She looked to be pottering off with no intention, her stride uneven due to past injury and her head a little battered around. However, her dark eyes were fixed on a particular figure, and as she got closer, they narrowed into a scowl. The one she looked at was one of those perfect-little-faultless-mares, and it irritated the plain, limping lady. She herself felt no pain anymore, as the tendons in her damaged leg had strengthened and tightened, but she still loathed her lack of grace and saw this as a perfect opportunity to take out her frustration on someone who didn’t appreciate theirs. As she approached, her ears swept back and she tossed her head, the body language a silent last chance for the chestnut to nick off. However, Midnight Maraigh quickened her stride before the other could respond, indicating she was in no mood to fight fair. The irritating mare looked to have pinned herself against a cliff wall, which Maraigh noted even as her teeth parted. “Bring it on,” she muttered, mostly to herself, before launching her body suddenly at the other mare. (Attack #1 ) For all she appeared quite stiff and slow, the brown mare moved with surprising swiftness, lifting her shoulders off the ground to slam her hooves into the mare’s neck and shoulders. Her intention was to swing her around and pin her against the wall, where her pretty face would be at the mercy of Maraigh’s teeth and hooves. It all depended on making unexpected contact and throwing her off balance. If it failed, hopefully she could at least have caused some superficial damage, particularly where there was a small patch of hair missing on the underside of her neck. It was a typical move, but Maraigh was banking on the fact it was a surprise and there was a rather large mountain behind the chestnut, preventing her from escaping easily and resulting in more-than-usual damage. Snorting with the sudden exertion, Maraigh kept her ears pinned and teeth displayed, pausing for a moment to gauge how the mare would defend herself. Her forelegs returned to the ground and she stepped back quickly but clumsily, snapping at the air to ward off an attack. “Thought you needed taking down a peg or two,”she snarled at the mare, but offered no other explanation for her sudden attack. |
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| Rival | Jan 4 2012, 01:12 PM Post #3 |
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sweet dreams && flying machines in pieces on the ground.
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Much to the red mare's pleasure not more than a few moments passed before a bedraggled and hideously lanky looking mare appeared with a desire for blood written clearly across her features. Vikarus had expected no dialogue to pass between them, but the Appaloosa wasted little time assessing the capabilities of her opponent. Slightly taken off guard, Vikarus tensed visibly in preparation for whatever the ewe necked beast had to offer, tucking her wide browed head against her throat and pinning her ears deep into what little crimson mane remained. As the bespeckled mare doubled over with surprising speed Vikarus realized what an arse-like move she'd made by placing a sheer wall behind herself. She had been aiming to protect from attacks in the rear, but had set herself up for failure when it came to frontal attacks. Defense #1: Vikarus normally would have risen up to spiral away from her attacker, but her ill choice of location inhibited this possibility altogether. Her chestnut tail switched violently back and forth in her agitation and she moved in reverse, moving backwards until her hindquarters found the wall before twisting aside with the motion of the App's movement. The blackened hooves of her attacker slammed quite perfectly into her left shoulder as she turned aside, only encouraging her twisting movement. Instead of letting her body be pummeled into the rock, however, she immediately tucked her forelegs and dropped to the earth effortlessly, allowing the other mare's hooves to glance off Vikarus's shoulder and hopefully be crippled into the rock which was far less giving. With her knees on the ground she attempts to snake her head up to tear at the underside of the other mare, but it is too late as she is already scuttling clumsily backwards. It became immediately clear that backwards movement was not the foreign mare's strong suit and so, against the pain which seared through her left shoulder as she did so, Vikarus launched back to all four hooves and dug deeply into the ground to soar after the retreating Appaloosa. Vikarus ignored the other mare's comments altogether; this wasn't a social gathering after all. ATTACK 1: She thundered forward, faltering a little on her left fore but tuning it out and letting the adrenaline fill every vein beneath her rippling ruddy coat. The mare seemed to be snapping nastily at nothing in a feeble attempt at defense, one which was easily ignored. A little skin lost here and there was no bother for Vikarus. Nothing new. As the mare scuttled back Vikarus lowered her head threateningly and, teeth bared, she aimed to barrel directly into the mare's chest, neck low to slip between the mare's forelegs and attempt to lift the other completely off the ground.. Considering how weak the mare's hindquarters seemed to be, Vikarus reasoning told her that plowing into the other mare would knock her off her ugly hooves into a dusty heap on the hard packed earth. Once there, Vikarus could pummel her until nothing remained. She kept her head tucked, using the muscular crest of her neck arched up and hoping it worked as planned. END ATTACK. If the mare wound up on the ground Vikarus would stick close, keeping her head low and tucked to continue her attack. If it didn't work out, well, Vikarus would be in over her head, wouldn't she? If the mare wasn't on the ground, Vikarus would sidestep her way right out of the situation she'd placed herself in and twirl about to face the Appaloosa again. |
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the picket fence [i f there is a f u t u r e we want it n o w] // m e r i d i a n // r e u b e n // a s p e c t // ![]() While I am no longer an active member of the community, I adore my characters and peeps nonetheless! | |
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| Taboo | Jan 4 2012, 11:38 PM Post #4 |
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Maraigh’s plan half-worked, in the end. The appaloosa-cross felt a flood of satisfaction as her hoof left its mark on the chestnut’s shoulder, but instead of swinging around to hit the rock as had been hoped for, the chestnut showed some quick-thinking by dropping to the ground. Immediately, Maraigh baulked, digging her hooves into the ground to prevent herself hitting the wall, and scrambled to get back as her stomach was at the mercy of the other’s teeth. As she shifted back, the other mare leapt up and towards her, which Maraigh met by half-rearing. She’d expected the other to jump towards her, and Maraigh had tried to meet her. It was the worst possible thing she could have done – instead of also rearing, Vikarus slammed into the smaller mare, head lowered, almost scooping Maraigh up with the force of her hit. Squealing in shock, Maraigh clamped her hooves awkwardly around the other’s neck, which slowed her fall slightly and allowed her to twist around in a desperate effort to keep her feet. (Attack #2) Instead of going right over, Maraigh landed awkwardly on her hip, but quickly pulled herself up, scrabbling her front legs for purchase in the ground. She then found herself facing away from the chestnut. Vikarus’ assessment of Maraigh’s hindquarters had been quite accurate, and the brown mare knew spinning on her haunches to attack again would not be effective. However, her hindquarters were still more than capable of supporting huge amounts of force, so with this in mind the brown smartly tucked her head and flung her hind legs out with all the strength she could muster, hopefully double-barrelling the chestnut. Square in the face would be ideal, but highly unlikely by sheer probability. As soon as she’d brought her hind legs back under her, Maraigh realised whatever had happened to her hip had been a big deal. Whilst it had been relatively okay to lash out backwards, the pain was now shooting down her leg and along her back, and she found it quite impossible to lift her right leg towards her belly. It felt as though something high in the joint had broken, but only time could tell for that. She pivoted on her forehand, realising this was a weak point for the chestnut to exploit if she realised how badly damaged it was. Her mouth was opened and teeth bared, her ears pinned in fury. She wanted just to slam the mare to the ground, rip out her throat, or do something so she’d just die. Then Maraigh would feel vindicated. |
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| Rival | Jan 8 2012, 11:30 AM Post #5 |
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sweet dreams && flying machines in pieces on the ground.
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N'AWWWW technically i lose by default today. xD FAIL. should we continue anyway....? lolz. i for realz thought i was good today. xDDDD WELL, i'll post it anyway but if you don't want to keep going we'll just stop ^^ bahaha With intense pleasure Vikarus sneered wickedly as the spotted mare slipped quite conveniently towards the ground. She did not land flat on her ugly back, though, and instead scrabbled over sideways; still an achievement if Vikarus said so herself. She prepared to attacked, mouth wide as she hugged the mare and aimed to rip away at her underbelly. She moved effortlessly with the roll of the speckled mare, ignoring the throb of pain in her left shoulder which suggested she would be limping home, hooves thudding against the ground as she stayed relatively beside the Appaloosa to try and gain some sort of higher advantage. With violent squeals coming from her outreached maw each time her thousand pound form pounded into the ground, she sought to make contact with the tender underside so close within her reach. The other's legs flailed, though, and just before Vikarus's mouth made contact she managed to right herself into a quite inconvenient position. Vikarus's was now wildly close to the mare's hindquarters, the other having wound up with her rump facing Vikarus. With a startled snort, DEFENSE 2: Vikarus skittered to the right, shying away from the other mare just as her hindquarters bowed up and she launched a powerful and well-timed cow kick at the slightly lathered chestnut mare. Fortunately, Vikarus had just managed to remove her delicate face from the mare's line of fire but her left shoulder - the already badly bruised one - had not been so lucky. The mare's right hind had struck her square at the point of her shoulder and, immediately, she felt the bone crack on impact. A horrifying blow to the chestnut who rocked back onto her haunches instinctually to shy away from the pain. The mare's left hind struck just behind her girth, puncturing the mare's side quite cleanly with a roughly one inch deep gash. Obviously the blood flowed immediately from the wound and began to run both down her foreleg and splash upon the already tainted ground, but it compared very little to the pain and blood which ran down in rivulets from her fractured shoulder. Incensed, Vikarus favors her foreleg only for a moment before launching back around on her uninjured haunches towards the Appaloosa. The other mare obviously is in some sort of considerable pain considered the violent expression which mirrored Vikarus's, plus the stiffness in her hindquarters from being flipped. Perhaps Vikarus had dislocated something the other would be maimed enough to be eaten alive by predators. This thought satisfied the injured chestnut as she dug forward and stumbled just slightly, fractured shoulder already giving way beneath her weight. She would have to use her haunches more than her forehand; not terribly difficult for the warmblood. ATTACK 2: At first the ruddy mare had thought to simply plow the mare over again as her crimson ears disappeared into her sparse mane and she thundered to close the small gap between them, but as she neared she sidled just a tad to her left (the mare's right side) and attempted to roughly brush the mare aside to unsettled her balance, jaws opened wide as she doubled over to take hold of the mare's gaskin. With momentum being her main force, she aimed to clamp viciously upon the mare's tender gaskin and wrench it around, essentially cracking the leg or at least shredding a fair bit of muscle and sinew from the Appaloosa's body. There was no way to know if this quick thinking would work until it was all over and, bounding painfully past, Vikarus could only hope it was the other mare's blood in her teeth as she pivoted back to face the mare's hindquarters, this time with enough distance that the other could not settled another nasty crack upon her body. END ATTACK. Vikarus faced the speckled beast defiantly, snickering nastily through the intense pain which attempted to cripple her, sides heaving with the blend of effort, discomfort, and adrenaline. The foam had made her neck and haunches slippery and dark with exertion, her black nostrils flared wide as she gulped in necessary oxygen. Her badly injured foreleg was held just off the ground, the tip of her hoof settled daintily upon the ground now and then to steady herself and to provide a little relief of the tension her body was currently riddled with. She scoffed, snorting out a tad of unexpected blood (hopefully from the black) before spitting out words for the first time. "I do hope you hadn't planned on feeling as if your own pegs would ever be higher than mine." she said with nastily dark humor, letting the subtle insult slip easily from her dark tongue. Vikarus shook her head vigorously, what little mane she had flipping about stickily against her damp neck until she'd finished. She spat quite literally on the ground this time, letting the nasty gesture land at the mare's hooves defiantly. With a quiet harumph of a snort, she settled to see just what damage she'd done and whether or not it was up to par with battle rules. |
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the picket fence [i f there is a f u t u r e we want it n o w] // m e r i d i a n // r e u b e n // a s p e c t // ![]() While I am no longer an active member of the community, I adore my characters and peeps nonetheless! | |
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| Taboo | Jan 8 2012, 11:07 PM Post #6 |
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Almost before Maraigh even turned around, the stench of blood hit her nostrils, making her want to gag and rejoice in equal measures. Her eyes sought out the gash on the chestnut’s side, and she gave a satisfied snort. It was a moment later, though, before she realised that the mare’s shoulder was as mutilated as Maraigh’s own hip. Sure, Vikarus wasn’t on the ground bleeding to death, but if the chestnut was in any sort of the pain that Maraigh was feeling, then the latter felt her job was well done. However, the thought had only a second to flit through the brown mare’s mind, before the chestnut was on top of her again, eyes alight with vengeance. The chestnut aimed for Maraigh’s injured side, and out of habit she went to swing her haunches around. However, her damaged hip prevented her from making such quick movements, and her right hind leg gave way slightly. In this moment, the appaloosa felt Vikarus’ teeth enclose around the upper part of her leg, crunching excruciatingly through skin and flesh. Maraigh was aware her leg was being ripped forcibly away from her body, but the pain in her hip became so much that she could have sworn she’d gone numb. When the chestnut’s momentum finally carried her onwards, Maraigh couldn’t even see, such was the dizziness borne of her pain. After a few seconds, Maraigh dared to take a few deep breaths and glance around at her leg. It hung uselessly, bloodied and clearly dislocated. Blood ran hot down her leg and there was an odd hollow at the point of her hip, where no doubt a joint was supposed to be. Still breathing heavily, Midnight Maraigh heard the chestnut say something, but she didn’t catch the words, and didn’t bother demanding she repeat them. Instead, she gave one last effort at pinning her ears at the mare, who spat petulantly between the appaloosa’s legs. If she hadn’t been in such pain, Maraigh would have lunged at her again, recommencing their battle. As it was, she could only let the anger swirling in her gut numb the pain of her wounds. She had no idea how to go about getting her leg back in place, but she was thoroughly convinced it could be done. Even if it couldn’t, she would try and try and try, until she was dead; then woe betide the bloody chestnut in the afterlife. Edited by Taboo, Jan 8 2012, 11:08 PM.
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| Magnanimous | Jan 14 2012, 09:27 PM Post #7 |
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hey guys. even though this is a fight for nothing, i figured, judging will be a way to get better (for me and you two) i’m gonna elaborate my comments a bit more when i see something that needs to be addressed, since you both just want to improve! oh and hey, this is kim’s layout. first attacks taboo+maraigh comments: seen it before, but honestly i think it was done well; and the effectiveness outweighs originality. well written and easy to understand, no powerplaying. nicely done. originality: 3/5 damage done: 2/5 realism: 5/5 total: 10/15 rival+vikarus comments: really haven’t seen this one often, i like it. though it is dangerous for vikarus herself so it may not be the most realistic of choices. originality: 4/5 damage done: 3/5 realism: 2/5 total: 10/15 ________________________________________________________________________ first defenses taboo+maraigh comments: reared up, expecting a different attack. her hip is severely twisted/injured, and extends to her spine and back legs. very creative; allowed you to move into your attack flawlessly. this was fun to read. originality: 4/5 damage done: 5/5 realism: 4/5 total: 13/15 rival+vikarus comments: by falling to the ground, on her forelegs, she avoided the brunt of the attack. there was some pain in her forelegs and her shoulder. honestly, i’m surprised there was no bleeding on her knees at the very least, but alright that makes sense! edit: you expanded on this later a bit, and my second read through helped. originality: 4/5 damage done: 3/5 realism: 5/5 total: 12/15 ________________________________________________________________________ second attacks taboo+maraigh comments: not very original, and perhaps i misunderstood this since its late and im sick, but how would it be possible to attack with her hind legs with the damage she sustained to her hip? nonetheless, effective and no powerplaying. just keep in mind carrying injuries the mind all the way, including the attacks. originality: 2/5 damage done: 5/5 realism: 3/5 total: 10/15 rival+vikarus comments: nice; i have seen it once or twice, but as always, effective. i didn’t see much evidence of her injuries; keep that in mind for the next battle and at the beginning, was that a continuation of the previous attack? because it really seemed like a double attack to me. i was confused. i would also watch out for that. if this had been a battle for something else, i most likely would have approached you before judging, just to clear it up! =] originality: 4/5 damage done: 5/5 realism: 3/5 total: 12/15 ________________________________________________________________________ second defenses taboo+maraigh comments: dislocated leg with cuts/ also injury further to hip; also, you carried through the hip. love.ly. that is all i can say. you seriously have no issues with superhorse; you are not afraid to make injuries there, and they are always fair and realistic. i love it. wasn’t much of a defense, but still. great =]. originality: 5/5 damage done: 5/5 realism: 5/5 total: 15/15 rival+vikarus comments: broken shoulder from the kick along with a very rough fall that causes a deep gash. beautiful! my doubts from before are all gone. no superhorse, and the fact that you tied the first injury so nicely to the second is lovely. i like how you had vikarus try to defend herself; the attempt is realistic, since a first instinct would be to remove one’s face. and the move into the attack is lovely. originality: 5/5 damage done: 5/5 realism: 5/5 total: 15/15 ________________________________________________________________________ results taboo+maraigh comments: well, here we are. =] normally, i would point out spelling and grammar issues. you had like none., so i’m going to reiterate just a few points from before =] : your biggest issue is originality of attacks. you have great realism, though, which is nice. there was no powerplaying and no superhorsing. this battle honestly was great to read, and one of the closest i have ever judged. my biggest suggestion is to make sure the attacks make sense, and make sure you carry the damage through in the attacks! grammar / punctuation / spelling: 5/5 total: 53/65 rival+vikarus comments: =] heyo. no big spelling or grammar issues, which is no surprise. your attacks seemed more creative, so high five for that! you also definitely carried the injuries through vikarus’ attacks quite well. my big issue, though, is to be sure you don’t do two attacks in one post. i made a note of it above, where i was confused about the number of your attacks. make sure you only have one in there! that can get you a default loss. keep an eye out! as i said above, one of the best battles i have ever read, and one of the closest i have had the pleasure to judge. i would read you guys’ posts all day long. grammar / punctuation / spelling: 5/5 total: 54/65 the victor is: rival + vikarus. seriously, one freaking point! guys, this was lovely. =] you don’t need practice, you are magnificent! taboo, what ended up getting you is a combo of less creative attacks and what was bigger in my mind, is that i didn’t see evidence of maraigh’s injuries to her hip in the attack where she kicked with her hind legs. this battle was so close! you guys, awesome jobbbbbbbbb! |
![]() we are not things; those were her words! salome | ishtar | piper| riesling | rani | anael | iscaie | silas | faolan | sven | nyss| | |
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| Rival | Jan 15 2012, 08:50 PM Post #8 |
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sweet dreams && flying machines in pieces on the ground.
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thanks for the input, magz, i totally understand what you're saying with the double attack thing... that cost my the first battle between fricky and viral awhile back.... and taboo, WOW, i loved your detail and the way she took the damage... completely ridiculous, i think you owned me completely in the detail department!! i thoroughly enjoyed this battle, really could feel the blood under my feet you know?! think i learned a thing or two from you... we should try to rip each other's throats out more in the future, yes?! :] |
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the picket fence [i f there is a f u t u r e we want it n o w] // m e r i d i a n // r e u b e n // a s p e c t // ![]() While I am no longer an active member of the community, I adore my characters and peeps nonetheless! | |
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