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and it was over from the start; Arcane vs Eron
Topic Started: Jan 9 2011, 06:57 AM (620 Views)
ChiCha
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I believe that though there are some rules, we were put on this earth to make choices. -ChiCha <3
The anger flowed ominously through him. What fool would dare challenge him? Whomever the ***** was he would rip their gut out so that they would know to never come across him again. He stretched up to his full height of 17.1 hands, surely he would overshadow the puny leech that challenged him. His anger grew, he was a dark who actually left people alone. Why the h*** did someone have to come and bother him? The feeling of rage started to boil, so much that anyone around him could practically feel it. If he were something other than an equine a fiery smoke would be emitting itself from his nostrils.

He took his time, knowing that the petty stag would probably try to rush him. He came to the border of the Battle Grounds. An evil snarl formed upon his scarred face, and a curled it's way onto his dark lips. He stepped over the border and only went a few steps more staying near were the wrecked place began. He inhaled the blood. He could always smell the red liquid, for miles even. He reared up and screamed for the spec of nothing that dared to face him. And there he waited, for the battle wouldn't start with the other brute, but instead... With his demands, whatever the other stallion tried to say he would outdo him. And he would outdo him by a lot...
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PhantomStallion
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Cantering into the battlegrounds, Eron wondered what he was getting himself into. He knew he had some pretty harsh conditions, but he had sensed the darkness of the stallion that lived there. He knew that the stallion would be mad as heck and would probably have some harsher conditions.

Slowing to a trot, he scented the stallion he had challenged, and heard the stallion’s shrill whinny calling to him. Going up to the blood bay stallion, he said, Now, about those conditions I mentioned earlier…If I win, I get your land, I keep any alliance you have with any creatures in your land, and you must send all your daughters to me and I will chose one for me to keep hostage for as long as I wish, during which time I may do with the mare as I please. Also, if I win, neither you, nor any of your offspring are allowed there ever again. Pausing before going into things, he gave the other a chance speak.

Attack ½

Rushing forward, Eron galloped toward the beast, and reached out with his teeth at just the right moment, aiming at the closest ear, bit and clamped down, swinging around a couple feet away, hoping to jerk the head of the brute back and do some major damage to the ear. Hoping it was the ear he was getting instead of imagining the space between his teeth; Eron unclamped his jaw after a hard tug and tensed for the other brute’s attack.

*pokee CC*
Edited by PhantomStallion, Jan 14 2011, 05:10 PM.
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ChiCha
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I believe that though there are some rules, we were put on this earth to make choices. -ChiCha <3
He watched for a while, and as he himself was about to leave, the other one showed up. He stood tall and firm, but as the other stallion spoke, he loosened up, holding in a laugh. He waited a moment then he himself spoke, “That’s alright little one, and don’t forget to visit your mother when you lose to me. Now let’s get on to what real terms are. When you lose to me I am going to make it so that when you get your own land and mares, I’ll visit every so often and pick a few for me to look at, then when I’m done I will possibly send them back, or at least do to them what I like. And this is the same for any daughters you may have as well. When you have chosen your heir I will also take him, and raise him as my own. And after this battle, you, anyone you currently know or that you may come to know, your children, mares, any of your enemies, any of my enemies, and any of your family will never be able to challenge me for my land, my mares, or my children. And if anyone comes and says they’re battling for you even though you may not know them, I will fetch you and you yourself are to escort them off of my property.” He knew he would blow a hole in this one’s life, but he couldn’t really care less about what this stallion thought. It wasn't until the stallion started moving towards him was he serious again.

Defense 1

There were very few vulnerable spots on equines that would A. Do a good amount of damage and B. score you many points. And obvious spot was the ear, although because of it's now common usage, it wasn't scored as highly. He watched the other stallion move. His hooves bouncing up and down off the ground, the flexing of his muscles, each breath he took, and the twitches in his eyes. The stallion came closer and in a split second grabbed his ear. He stayed calm, trying to slow things down with his mind. He clenched his teeth trying to zone out the pressure of the other stallion’s jaw clamping against his ear. He let the stallion almost lead him, moving as much as he could. It wasn’t until he stopped for a few moments, that the stag yanked catching him off guard, then pulling again. When the brute was done Arcane unclenched his teeth and almost showed his pain, but luckily kept it to himself.

Damage 1

A few things were obvious. One, his ear was bleeding, two, his hearing seemed not as strong as before, and three, his ear felt as if it didn’t want to work as well. He glanced at a small puddle of water beside him and almost growled. From what he could see his ear was torn on the inside, at the base where it connected to his skull, and he was missing a few chunks out of it. He tried moving it, but only got something a little more than a twitch. He heard a flock of crows overhead, one ear taking in the full annoyance of their chant, and the injured one hearing it with less of the screeching. He watched as the blood trickled down his face and all around his ear, then watched as it started dripping into the puddle itself. He gave the opposing brute a death look, and charged.

Attack 1

He went at the stallion, at first pretending that he was going to the side, but at the last minute going straight again and aiming. He tilted his head to the side, stretched out his teeth and grabbed the insides of the other stallion’s nostrils. He did his best to get a good hold, but was a little unsure with the amount of blood pressure he was losing. His head was still titled, so he turned a little more to the left, then quickly yanked to the right so his head was tilted in the opposite direction than before. He hoped he was damaging the area where the brute’s head and neck connected. He jerked again twisting to the right so that his head was almost upside down. He slowly pulled his teeth out of the other brute’s nostrils, scraping the soft insides of the nose. He backed up and spat out anything that could’ve gotten inside his maw.

Most darks were afraid to get dirty. But he was not one of those darks. He focused back on the challenger and kept in a tight position, with his neck arched. And then he waited. For whatever was to come next.


(ooc- you took your sweet time, so don't try and rush me)

(ooc- i forgot to add the end parenthesis on the first one and it was bugging me)

xD
Edited by ChiCha, Jan 17 2011, 09:58 AM.
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PhantomStallion
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Defense 1

Eron watched as the brute made his speech then charged. He looked as if he was going to go to Eron’s side, but at the last minute, he went at Eron’s nose. Eron was ready for him, but Arcane caught him a slight bit off guard. Arcane had lunged at Eron and bit him right in the middle of his nose. He moved with Arcane so there would be less damage to his nose, and held his ground, showing no pain, when Arcane slowly pulled back, scraping off some of the soft flesh in the inside of his nose. Closing his eyes, Eron shook his head once Arcane was done, making blood go everywhere.

Attack 2/2

Eron rushed at Arcane and was almost past his head, when he reared up and swiftly lunged out with his teeth aimed at the soft and sensitive part of his head right behind Arcane’s ears. Swinging his body around as he grabbed Arcane, he shook his head viciously, hoping he had hit his mark. When he was finished, he gave one final tug back so to jerk Arcane's head. Going back to all fours, Eron backed up a few feet, getting ready for Arcane’s second and final attack.
Edited by PhantomStallion, Jan 18 2011, 07:28 AM.
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ChiCha
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I believe that though there are some rules, we were put on this earth to make choices. -ChiCha <3
He watched the few moments of pain that the other stallion had, sneering for a moment even, but he immediately got back into action as soon as the other one began moving again.

Defense 2

The stallion tried using his tactic, which at first didn’t work, but when he struck it did. He somehow reached high enough to get behind his head and grab onto his poll. As soon as he did, just the slight pressure and the little bit of tugging immediately made his ear hurt. He bent his knees and purposely bent his neck backwards so that the pain wouldn’t be as excruciating. It was harder though to defend himself, being in such an awkward position. So he did have to go through most of the pulling and shaking. But none-the-less being closer to the stallion helped.

Damage 2

When he was done Arcane knew that he had some gashes on him and his ear was now throbbing. The back of his neck hurt, so if he were to try and use his head or jaw for anything, he would have to do it extremely carefully so that he didn’t break anything. He took a glance at the other stallion and began his move.

Attack 2

He merely walked around the challenger, intimidating him. But without a second glance he got close up to the stallion, rubbing against him even, and quickly grabbed his upper lip. Once he did he bit down hard, so that he wouldn’t lose his grip. He began pulling backwards, trying to make the other stallion’s head go completely upside down, onto the stallion’s own back even. Because of his height he had a better advantage, he was able to pull the stallion’s head high enough so that his neck would strain. He kept pulling at random, up for a few moments, then immediately backwards and down towards the stallion’s back. As he slowly let go he bit down hard, hoping that the substance in his mouth wasn’t just thick blood. But a piece of the other stallion’s maw instead.

He spit whatever it was out of his mouth, as well as what he knew was blood along with that. He stood there, knowing it was all over. His last attack would have at least done more damage to the stallion’s nose, hopefully. He waited there, already knowing the winner…


(ooc- here it is, just on time. and if you have any problems with it please PM me or something. ;))
Edited by ChiCha, Jan 20 2011, 05:46 PM.
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PhantomStallion
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Defense 2

Eron watched as Arcane stupidly walked around him, rubbing against him a couple times even, before quickly grabbing the top part of Eron’s maw. Snorting in pain once, he clenched his teeth, as Arcane pulled at his already sore maw. Pulling himself together, Eron moved with Arcane to lessen the damage the least bit. Eron squeezed his eyes shut, trying to close out the pain, as he felt Arcane pulling his head up, straining at his neck. Trying to salvage his maw so he could at least speak without it hurting too much, he reared up off his front hooves a little, lessening the strain on his neck. Squealing a little as Arcane slowly let go, he felt blood come rushing out of his nose. It dripped off his lower lip, and onto the sand in front of his hooves. Eron watched as Arcane spit out blood and a small chunk of his tender maw, knowing it was all over. He glared at Arcane through slits, awaiting the final results.

Occ;; the only problem I have is that Eron will have some trouble speaking for a little bit ;)
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Rival
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sweet dreams && flying machines in pieces on the ground.
FIRST ATTACKS

ChiCha && Arcane
Comments: CC, avoid the words that would cause little stars (***) but that doesn't have anything to do with the battle. Just letting you know. :] Your first attack was quite nasty, made me cringe and grab my own nose! Fantastic on originality and quite ingenious. I can't imagine the realistic sort of damage this attack should have done, and the way you worded it was quite nice. I got a great picture of what he was doing and how he was doing it, so great there. I would've liked to hear more about how he felt and what he looked like as he was doing it. I only knew he was bay because PS said so in one of her posts; try working on your detail a bit more so I can really feel what's going on. Excellent work on taking damage as well, it really gives a picture of what happened with his ear and the effects of it.
Originality: 5/5
Damage Done: 2/5
Realism: 3/5
Total: 10/15

PhantomStallion && Eron
Comments: This attack was quite short; I would have liked to see more detail of the attack and how it was executed, but it was a good idea to try jerking Arcane's neck back like you did. The ear isn't a very creative place to start, but what you tried to do with it was a unique one. Instead of trying to just rip his ear off Eron tried to use it to do more damage than simply a ripped ear would do. Also, I have no idea what your horse looks like much as CC neglected to say. Detail is always delightful! The damage your horse took was disappointingly minimal. Given the sensitivity of the area, I would have hoped for a considerable amount of pain and blood to come from it.
Originality: 3/5
Damage Done: 2/5
Realism: 3/5
Total: 8/15

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FIRST DEFENSES

ChiCha && Arcane
Comments: You defense makes perfect sense but you still took a realistic amount of damage; we like knowing your horses aren't invulnerable. Excellent work!
Originality: 3/5
Damage Taken: 4/5
Realism: 4/5
Total: 11/15

PhantomStallion && Eron
Comments: It definitely seemed like you simply took CC's idea as far as defending himself, so I had hoped to see something a bit more creative as far as Eron getting away from having his nose chomped. Also, there was very little detail to it.
Originality: 1/5
Damage Taken: 1/5
Realism: 2/5
Total: 4/15

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Second Attacks

ChiCha && Arcane
Comments: I was disappointed that Arcane went back for the lip again after it was basically what he'd just done, but what he tried to do with it (much like Eron's intent with Arcane's ear) was again quite nasty and delightful. I'm not sure that Arcane's second bite down wasn't a slight mix in of a double attack - when Arcane is letting go he bites down in an attempt to gnaw off a bit of Eron's nose which is a bit of a double up. No good there, so it's best to be careful with it when it comes to that.
Originality: 1/5
Damage Done: 3/5
Realism: 2/5
Total: 6/15

PhantomStallion && Eron
Comments: I like the variety in your attacks, PS, keep up the good work! This is a sensitive area of attack, but again I would have liked a little more detail. It’s a common area of attack, but a sensitive one. I liked the goal you had in mind, but it wasn’t quite effective enough to really get me into the scene.
Originality: 3/5
Damage Done: 2/5
Realism: 3/5
Total: 8/15

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Second Defenses

ChiCha && Arcane
Comments: Excellent work on your defense, I like the way you took the damage so well. It’s a realistic amount of damage for such an odd attack, really fantastic CC.
Originality: 3/5
Damage Taken: 4/5
Realism: 4/5
Total: 11/15

PhantomStallion && Eron
Comments: Quite frankly your second round was quite disappointing. The same defensive maneuver was used again, and it seems like Eron didn’t get much damage out of attacks that should have done a substantial amount of damage.
Originality: 1/5
Damage Taken: 1/5
Realism: 1/5
Total: 3/15

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RESULTS

ChiCha && Arcane
Comments: Overall you did well in the detail department and a fantastic job of balancing the attacks and how much damage Arcane received. Very impressive on that front, you were very realistic with it all. Kudos to your nose attacks, I cringed at them! I didn’t like the way you used the same attack twice which really lost you some creativity points so try and vary it up!
Grammar / Punctuation / Spelling: 4/5
Total: 37/65

PhantomStallion && Eron
Comments: Work on the damage your horse takes, and don’t take so much from the other players’ attacks or defenses. You used the exact same defenses twice, and only after CC had used it. Try and bring a little more variety to the table, vary it up!
Grammar / Punctuation / Spelling: 4/5
Total: 27/65

The winner is CHICHA

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this scoring system was taking from a post of Kimmys, in case anyone was wondering. I hope you don't mind my snitching it, Kim!
the picket fence
[i f there is a f u t u r e we want it n o w]

// m e r i d i a n // r e u b e n // a s p e c t //

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While I am no longer an active member of the community, I adore my characters and peeps nonetheless!
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ChiCha
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I believe that though there are some rules, we were put on this earth to make choices. -ChiCha <3
yays!

thanks Rival
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