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| Run for the money;;; in my case, the land;; | |
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| Tweet Topic Started: Dec 18 2010, 05:31 PM (340 Views) | |
| Fearless | Dec 18 2010, 05:31 PM Post #1 |
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Cryptic swiftly strode into the battle grounds. By no means was this going to be quick, however he wanted to get back to Rich Water (or if he failed, get back to searching for a new home). Sytor, the last ruler of Rich Water, had returned to claim what was his. However, Cryptic would not so easily give in. Since he had been to Kormada, he vowed to never give up without a fight. He lost his old herd to many stallions who had travelled together and had over taken him. He was lucky they showed mercy on his hide, but he had been roughly escorted from his home by a couple of flippant idiots who called themselves stallions. At eight years, Cryptic was in his prime, however he knew if he had taken the two smaller and less intelligent males he would have been tracked and killed by the higher ranking stallions of their once small herd. Now, this was a fair fight, and Cryptic would readily accept the challenge Sytor had thrown him. He was not so ignorant or arrogant to think he would beat the other stallion; in fact, he was thinking of other lands he could try for already if things did not go well. After a while, the stallion turned on his heel and faced the general direction of Rich Water. He waited patiently, although he could feel his adrenaline tenderly poking his calm shell he encased his mind in. He could almost smell the fresh blood writhing about his nares. Turning his head to and fro, however, he caught sight of a blood stained patch of earth, the grass sticky from the blood that had washed over it. Scuff marks turned the earth in many places. He turned his thick, masculine head back, and his head gave a small jump as a drop of water splashed his painted muzzle. His head rose to the heavens, huge storm cloud accumulated, and more drops fell until it was a steady downfall. The sweet smell of rain chased away the acrid taste of blood on the earth. After a while, the ground was muddy. He foreshadowed a few slips here and there. This is going to be a long, miserable battle. He thought grimly. He was not going to turn back now, however. He would not show the cowardice that many a stallion did. Edited by Fearless, Dec 19 2010, 02:59 AM.
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Fearless;;Mactire Fiain;;Achilles;;Trisscar;;Legend;;Jurassic;;Blumoire;;Esroh;;Jethroh;;Scream;;Rhipidellome;; Cryptic;;Ariston;;Kemik;;Pyxis;;Aero;;Drizzt;;Pet![]() ''To Do'' List | |
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| `Scoot | Dec 19 2010, 01:39 AM Post #2 |
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"She has duct tape and chloroform and a map to your house in the back seat of her car. I thought that was a bit strange..."
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Sytor's blood was still boiling as he reached the Battle Grounds. In the rain that had since found its way to the earth below, his muscled black hide steamed. The shoulder bearing the slashed 'D' quivered in anticipation of the coming battle, but Sytor knew better than to let the rage pulsing through him affect his judgment. This confrontation would be approached as logically and rationally as was possible. And so it was that the coal black stallion turned a one cerulean iris upon his challenger. He was younger than Sytor, by far, but the draft only chuckled at the thought of would-be colt actually posing a threat to him. At fifteen, Sytor had lived longer than most equines did in the wild, but he was by no means old. No, in fact, it might even be said that it was he who was in his prime. In battle, there certainly was a lot to be said for experience--and experience was most definitely something Sytor possessed. He circled his competitor once, sizing him up again and speaking no words to him as of yet. It was only when Sytor believed the other stallion to have slipped from attention for the briefest of instants that he launched his first attack. Attack 1/2 A scream ripped from the ebony steed's throat, high pitched and ear-piercing for one whose voice was of a much lower key, and he swiftly sought his rival's jugular with his teeth. It was a predictable start to the attack, which was part of the stallion's plan--fake out the competitor and make him think he was coming from the left...when in reality, Sytor had pitched his weight to the opposite feet at the last time and come at the one called Cryptic from the opposite side. If his attack worked, the other stallion--whose color he could not quite determine in the drenching rain and darkening earth spattering about as the rain fell--would shy to the right and fall directly into Sytor's teeth-snapping trap. He was uncertain whether the feel of tender flesh between his jaws was an actuality or a mere figment of his imagination. He could only hope it was the former, and that the poor fool at the receiving end would bleed to death--or at the very least suffer a crushed esophagus. Sytor swung away thereafter, anticipating a return attack as he did so, all while striving to see what, if any, damage he had inflicted upon the colt. |
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| Fearless | Dec 19 2010, 02:58 AM Post #3 |
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ooc;; i wish my posts could sound all professional and badA as yours XD Cryptic waited, his nerves still held at bay. He was amazingly calm for the impending battle that was sure to leave a few scars. His lips curved at the thought of being those who would be half crippled for the rest of their lives. How weak and vulnerable they were. No, he would simply not allow this to happen. His pale blue eyes probed the shadows, expecting the stallion at a moments notice. Another thing he simply wouldn't allow was to be caught off guard. He did not know Sytor's particular type; would he try a stealth attack? Would he try to feint? Would he come head on and simply crash into him? Yes, any chance of one of those could happen, and it was up to him to make sure he did not slip. It was only the land was at stake, but little did Sytor know that it was much, much more than that. Having forced to flee his last battle, a tiny voice constantly nagged at the back of his mind that he never flee at all costs for sake of pride. Pride, however, was sometimes overrated and only got stallions in trouble. No, he would fight this time, and not only becauseof pride. He wanted to prove to himself, win or lose, that he would win. Gleaming, black skin was starting to near his focus, and Cryptic swung around where he was head-on with this black foe. His pale blue eyes narrowed to slits as he regarded the mighty stallion before him. He was older and probably much more experienced than Cryptic. Defense One. Cryptic was glad the black demon that raced toward him did not waste his breathe on words that would simply be ignored. The stallion let loose a shattering cry, however it was easily drowned out by the pounding rain and the sudden burst of adrenaline. He saw a flash of white that was no doubt his opponent's teeth, probing for a weak spot. Cryptic tucked his hind legs and shot backwards and at the same time ducked his head, however the teeth scored a curve up his jaw and bit into his ear, ripping a generously taken piece of flesh that left a jagged gap that would never return to what it once had been. He grit his teeth as pain screamed a ringing note in his ear. Blood flowed down the side of his face, and he swiveled it backwards as to not let blood slip into his eyes, however this move was rewarded with more white-hot pain. Attack One Instead of shooting backwards until he was a healthy distance away, he shot forward right after the teeth of Sytor raked his ears and sank his teeth deep into the general area of the elbow, while raking at flesh with his hooves. He could not differ between pummeling the ground or actual flesh, but he did manage a few jarring flashes of his hooves. He reeled quickly away from Sytor, sending droplets of rainwater flying. He dug into the mud and wheeled to face the black stranger. |
Fearless;;Mactire Fiain;;Achilles;;Trisscar;;Legend;;Jurassic;;Blumoire;;Esroh;;Jethroh;;Scream;;Rhipidellome;; Cryptic;;Ariston;;Kemik;;Pyxis;;Aero;;Drizzt;;Pet![]() ''To Do'' List | |
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| `Scoot | Dec 19 2010, 10:40 PM Post #4 |
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"She has duct tape and chloroform and a map to your house in the back seat of her car. I thought that was a bit strange..."
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Defense 1/2 Angered that he hadn't seen a backwards escape coming, Sytor whirled in a semi-circle upon his hind legs, his forehooves slashing through the air several times before he felt the telltale pain-based indicator that Cryptic's teeth had reached his elbow and forearm. Infuriated, the black stallion coordinated his next attack in on the fly, refusing to let the injured foreleg strike the ground any sooner than necessary. If he went down now, he wouldn't stand a chance. Attack 2/2 In spite of the hot liquid sluicing down his leg, Sytor flung the other front hoof out in what he considered an ingenious attempt to take the other stallion's back feet out from beneath him after he had again turned to face Sytor. The black stallion himself slid a good several meters in the thickening mud as he finally came down on the injured foreleg, but although there was a lot of blood, the area of the attack itself was not particularly fatal. It was an inconvenience, of course, but perhaps that in itself explained why most stallions never died from their wounds. They merely spent the entire battle unoriginally chewing on one another's elbows, and never bothering to inflict any real damage--such as taking their opponent off his feet and thereby exposing his sensitive underside to attack. This was, indeed, Sytor's plan of action. Whether or not it would work, however, remained to be seen, for he could not be certain that his aim had been correct, nor could he be certain that any strike he did manage to make would be strong enough to topple the younger stallion before him. |
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| Fearless | Dec 20 2010, 11:56 PM Post #5 |
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Defense Two Cryptic whirled about to face his opponent after his attack. He briefly saw scarlet ooze the slick, wet hide down his leg, however it did not seen to heavily affect the black draft. Cryptic noticed he was keen to be carefully about where the weight was put down, and it gave him some hope that he had slightly damaged the older stallion. His attack was more or less amateur compared to what most were capable of, but it seemed to work in his favor. Cryptic danced on his hooves, his legs slightly widened to go either way swiftly. It was in vain, for Sytor still managed to make an attack of his defense, that clever boy. Cryptic clenched his jaw as he felt his hind legs slid underneath him, and at first, he tried to slid them out. This, of course, was to no avail in the mud. Grunting, he got an idea that he wasn't all too sure would work. He would try it, anyway. He lashed his front legs about before he slid too far away for this to work and wheeled himself to face Sytor. Attack Two With his rear end tucked underneath him, he wasn't in the position to do much other than the attack he had planned. He reached his front legs and made himself slid until he was right at Sytor's chest. Then, using his quarters like a coiled spring, he surged upwards, his jaw opened and clenching down hard on flesh that he hoped was his neck. He clamped as hard as he could, and at the same time, swinging his head to and fro. His shoulder collided with Sytor's, and the impact jarred him to his teeth and hooves. He let go finally, shoving Sytor to knock him off balance as he turned to face him broad side, his pale eyes narrowed and ready. Blood completely soaked the side of his thick face, running down his neck. Rain helped to wash most of it away, and blood started to finally clot enough to where it was somewhat stanched. His breathing made billowing clouds in the cool air. |
Fearless;;Mactire Fiain;;Achilles;;Trisscar;;Legend;;Jurassic;;Blumoire;;Esroh;;Jethroh;;Scream;;Rhipidellome;; Cryptic;;Ariston;;Kemik;;Pyxis;;Aero;;Drizzt;;Pet![]() ''To Do'' List | |
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| `Scoot | Dec 21 2010, 12:53 AM Post #6 |
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"She has duct tape and chloroform and a map to your house in the back seat of her car. I thought that was a bit strange..."
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Defense 2/2 Sytor, unsuspecting, flung his head upward in a last-ditch effort to avoid his opponent's jaws. Unfortunately, he did not succeed, instead receiving a hard bite to the muscled area between his jugular and the crest of his neck. The wound was deep, a rather large chunk of flesh having been removed entirely, and it bled profusely. The black stallion trumpeted in pain and reared backward, straining to remove himself from the situation. As he did so, he narrowly missed his opponent's shoulder. When he came down again, he landed first on the injured leg and fumbled, the pain finally reaching him as the muscles bunched and moved, but somehow he managed to stay on his feet. Skidding in the mud, Sytor leapt sideways with an agility he didn't know he still possessed, knowing that the battle was over, and noting that his neck didn't quite seem to bend right with the missing section of muscle. It would leave a scar, and more than likely a deformity, in the once proud arch of his neck. Of that, he was certain. |
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| kimmys | Dec 21 2010, 01:32 AM Post #7 |
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First Attacks TOPOGRAPHIC & SYTOR Comments: A rather typical attack with a feint, nothing particularly special. However, it does leave few options for escape. Originality: 2/5 Damage Done: 3/5 Realism: 5/5 Total: 10/15 FEARLESS & CRYPTIC Comments: A little bit hard to understand, and there was a bit of powerplaying. You said that not only did he make contact, but was able to sink his teeth deep - whether contact is made and how bad the damage is is up to the other player. Quoted: "sank his teeth deep into the general area of the elbow." However, it is an attack that is seen in the wild although rarely used here. Originality: 3/5 Damage Done: 3/5 Realism: 5/5 - 5 for powerplaying Total: 6/15 ---------------------------------- First Defenses TOPOGRAPHIC & SYTOR Comments: There is little said to judge how bad the injury is until later, when it is described as bloody but not fatal. Originality: 2/5 Damage Taken: 2/5 Realism: 5/5 Total: 9/15 FEARLESS & CRYPTIC Comments: Wild horses do not typically know how to go backwards, and tucking his hind legs would make him fall on his rump, not shoot backwards. Despite this, it is a fairly unusual/original defense. Originality: 4/5 Damage Taken: 2/5 Realism: 0/5 Total: 6/15 ---------------------------------- Second Attacks TOPOGRAPHIC & SYTOR Comments: Quick thinking is good, but in all reality there would probably be less force behind the strike due to the fact that Sytor isn't putting much weight on the other foreleg. Originality: 4/5 Damage Done: 1/5 Realism: 3/5 Total: 8/15 FEARLESS & CRYPTIC Comments: Doesn't connect well to the defense because the wording was strange, and there was also another bout of powerplaying although it was more mild. Quoted: "clenching down hard on flesh that he hoped was his neck," while you are allowing 'Scoot to choose where Cryptic bit, you are taking away her right to decide whether your character managed to touch hers. Originality: 2/5 Damage Done: 4/5 Realism: 1/5 (not sure how Cryptic got his balance back) - 3 for powerplaying Total: 4/15 ---------------------------------- Second Defenses TOPOGRAPHIC & SYTOR Comments: Sytor took damage on this one, and while it is not life threatening it will leave a scar. Originality: 2/5 Damage Taken: 4/5 Realism: 4/5 Total: 10/15 FEARLESS & CRYPTIC Comments: Again, slightly confusing. I read the attack/defense as though Sytor was standing at Cryptic's shoulder, which would mean that his back legs were pushed out. I'm guessing you were trying to say that he tried to pull his legs back in, but to no avail suggests that he wasn't able to properly gather his weight beneath him. Apparently no damage was taken. Originality: 2/5 Damage Taken: 0/5 Realism: 1/5 Total: 3/15 ---------------------------------- RESULTS TOPOGRAPHIC & SYTOR Comments: I didn't see any spelling or grammar errors although someone can correct me on this if they find some. Sytor, while older seemed to react according to his age and the laws of physics. Grammar / Punctuation / Spelling: 5/5 Total: 42/65 FEARLESS & CRYPTIC Comments: There were a few errors and some of the wording used made it hard to understand what you were trying to convey. Perhaps next time, re-read the post aloud or have someone go over it for you to find errors. This is what my English teacher always suggests. =] Hearing it aloud makes a huge difference. Grammar / Punctuation / Spelling: 2/5 Total: 21/65 The winner is Sytor |
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| Rival | Dec 21 2010, 02:16 PM Post #8 |
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sweet dreams && flying machines in pieces on the ground.
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since it needed confirming, i'll confirm! :] i believe fear's score might have been a tad harsh; i understood quite well what she was trying to say on most occasions and saw only a few grammatical errors, most of which were spelling. i.e. fear said 'slid' when i'm sure she meant 'slide' several times. i do think fear's attack 1 was a tad short and i had to use more of my own imagination to figure it out, but topo's attack 2 was similarly confusing. i had absolutely no clue how she was trying to use sytor's legs to swipe cryptic off his hooves, and ended up giving up trying to picture it and just assumed it happened since cryptic went along. SO! i agree that sytor wins due to the creativity of the attacks, spelling/grammar, etc, but i do think to fear's credit her score should be a bit higher. i didn't go through and do what kim did because i'm horribly lazy, but i think it was a little rough. fear, you did an amazing job, so don't underestimate yourself. you're a fantastic writer and really did a row on kicking sytor's arse. no worries! (i saw your comment on topo's posting) CONGRATS SYTOR & TOPO, GREAT BATTLE GUYS! |
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the picket fence [i f there is a f u t u r e we want it n o w] // m e r i d i a n // r e u b e n // a s p e c t // ![]() While I am no longer an active member of the community, I adore my characters and peeps nonetheless! | |
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| kimmys | Dec 21 2010, 10:18 PM Post #9 |
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I understand where you think I was being a bit harsh, however, in the battle rules it says that any instance of powerplaying should result in a disqualification. Fearless, you did do a very good job. If there had been no powerplaying and some damage had been taken from the second attack you would have had points totaling from 30-34, which is quite a bit closer. I don't mean to offend, but a battle is where even the slightest things count. <3 Don't be discouraged and if you want any tips for the next battle feel free to ask me or anyone else. |
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