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| My Defenses Are Down (Kish poem II); Oliver's response. | |
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| Tweet Topic Started: Nov 30 2009, 07:11 PM (539 Views) | |
| AzureHorizon | Nov 30 2009, 07:11 PM Post #1 |
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Kish Fic Laureate
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http://s1.zetaboards.com/Kishmet/topic/2589862/ - The first poem, to be read before this one, or afterwards, whichever. My Defenses Are Down I could hear you, but I couldn't... I refused to... I can't. Those days were so long behind us It was all just a phase, wasn't it? You told me you loved me And you made it so easy Like battering rams hitting me Tearing down the walls that I put up Shattering my defenses I couldn't feel what you wanted I couldn't give you what you needed not now, even Can't I just be normal? You made me see that normal is just a word A word you can slap on anything, to make something 'right' 'pure' 'without sin' No matter how much you told me it would be ok The alcohol helped that all fade away Every shot of whiskey Every margarita Every bottle of beer Liquid bravery drained from the Devil's cornucopia The sweet nectar that made words buttery Viscous like water, rushing out That made everything ok even if I even if I went against... I wanted to take a hold of your wings, and fly high But my parents... they looked at me, their ropes of love duty honor religion morals. All of these, so... binding boa constrictors in the night wrapping around me, choking the life out of me not letting me go I wanted to tell you so much that I loved you But the words were poison on my tongue They singed and burned and they shouldn't have, they should have been sweet They should have been fruit juice instead of molasses Every touch upon your skin Every taste that I didn't mind It all... was worth it Until... Why did I run? Why did I give up? Because I wasn't as strong as you You were the rock, you were the monolith I was the person hiding in your shade Seeking some vague sense of halcyon Even as the cold breeze whispered all around Even as the hyenas of the night laughed at my weakness Even as the sharp tongues and sharp teeth Gnashed to and fro, savoring the moment to... Tear away at my sanity Could my mom walking in on us have been serendipitous? Was it... was it fate that kept us from going the distance Was it fate that I gave up? I wanted to wave back at you And I wanted you to know that... I did cry. |
| appleridge | Nov 30 2009, 07:15 PM Post #2 |
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Damn Awesome |
| milywritten1406 | Nov 30 2009, 07:28 PM Post #3 |
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^_^ Good job. Made me smile, first time today! ...I had a bad day... >_< heh.
Edited by milywritten1406, Nov 30 2009, 07:58 PM.
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| addicted2Kish | Nov 30 2009, 07:51 PM Post #4 |
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8.20.10<3
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love it! |
| WhiskeyTangoFoxtrot | Nov 30 2009, 08:00 PM Post #5 |
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The Whore of Babylon
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As beautiful as its counterpart. I think this is my favorite part--
Love how you capture Oliver's struggle so succintly and directly. There's such a desperation--Oliver's clearly--that makes these passages shine for me. These are absolutely lovely. I mean that too, from the heart of a former English major. Thank you so much for sharing. Edited by WhiskeyTangoFoxtrot, Nov 30 2009, 08:02 PM.
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| 3395233954 | Nov 30 2009, 10:44 PM Post #6 |
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Zach/8675309
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Personally, the only thing I'm worse at then writing is poetry. But you are amazing at it. I loved it.
Edited by 3395233954, Dec 1 2009, 05:22 AM.
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| kyboom | Nov 30 2009, 11:11 PM Post #7 |
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Michael
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I echo these comments and really felt Oliver with this poem. Super poem. Absolutely beautiful! :wow: |
| smuchshypush | Dec 1 2009, 10:52 AM Post #8 |
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Your poems are lovely! I'm a bit scared of poetry so I wasn't going to read them, but I'm very glad I did :) Good job!
Awesome Edited by smuchshypush, Dec 1 2009, 10:53 AM.
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| AzureHorizon | Dec 1 2009, 12:40 PM Post #9 |
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Kish Fic Laureate
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yeah, spread the word! I want everyone to read them. haha |
| TimeToFly | Dec 1 2009, 02:11 PM Post #10 |
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James
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damn, that was great... You really do capture Oliver's struggle quite fantastically! |
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2:48 AM Jul 11