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| A Fabulous Four Moment; Who Hot, You Hot | |
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| Tweet Topic Started: Nov 27 2009, 06:48 PM (394 Views) | |
| b32guy | Nov 27 2009, 06:48 PM Post #1 |
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I love it long and wavy!
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Title: A Fabulous Four Moment SubTitle: Who Hot, You Hot Author: StevenW Creation Date: 11.23.09 Rating: PG-13 Genre: M/M, M/F romance Warnings: some sexual innuendo Disclaimer: This author is in no way associated with "One Life To Live," “Dancing With the Stars,” ABC, CBS, “As The World Turns,” or any actor. These fan fiction stories are not for profit. No copyright infringement is intended. Permission is granted to the rightful owners of this show and these characters to use all or any portion of this story as they see fit. No compensation is required, though a sly and clever nod or wink would be a thrill. Story Summary: The fabulous four pontificate on some TV entertainment. Author’s Note: I got inspired by two things: a certain Dancing With The Stars star, and the Nuke / Kish arguing. So I’m bending fictional reality to address both. Another AN at end. Enjoy! The fabulous four’s apartment (or at least two of the member’s apartment), Monday, November 16, 2009, at 10pm EST. “My God that man is HOT!” Layla Williamson yelled out at the conclusion of Dancing With The Stars. “Um um um um um!!!” Oliver Fish raises his beer, “I’ll second that!” Kyle Lewis looks starry-eyed at his never-dated-a-man beau. “Why Oliver, since when do you comment on guys’ looks?” Oliver smiles at his ex-yet-new-again beau with a twisted smirk. “You mean out loud?” The two gay men and the lone female break into laughter. Cristian Vega feels the odd-man out. Oliver continues, “I would certainly not mind spending nine weeks being ‘framed’ by that man.” “Hey!” Kyle objects. “There is only one guy that gets to ‘frame’ you and he is sitting right here.” Layla decides to tease too. “Sorry guys, Cris is taken.” Cris chokes on his beer as laughter erupts again from the other three. He doesn’t mind the teasing. In fact, he is grateful for a way into the conversation. “Hey,” Cris teases dryly, “I can multi-task.” Layla punches her man playfully as more laughter ensues. Cris continues, nodding his beer bottle at the television as he does. “I think I get it though. That Dmitry is a good looking guy. Even I can see that. Plus he has a nice smile.” “A killer smile.” Kyle adds. “And I think he knows it.” “You think?” Layla asks. “I’m not so sure. He seems totally humble to me.” “I have to agree with you both.” Oliver says. “Sometimes he seems really humble and sometimes completely cocky. Either way, I could definitely enjoy some studio time with him.” “I think I like Mark.” Kyle offers, realizing there is no need for jealousy as Oliver would never likely meet Dmitry Chaplin. “He seems serious and a bit goofy at the same time. I like that in a man. But sadly, he got voted off.” “I like them all.” Layla chimes in. “Any of them would work for me. Derek seems especially good with the hip action.” “Very true!” Oliver and Kyle eagerly and vociferously agree. Once again laughter erupts as Cris chokes on the last of his beer. After a bit of silence all eyes settle on Cris. “Well?” The three say in unison. “I like Cheryl or Kym.” Cris teases, knowing what they really want. “No!” The three say jointly again. “Of the guys?” Cris rolls his eyes. “I’ll take Louie or Jonathon. Louie seems very interesting and Jonathon has a really odd voice. Very deep.” Layla scrunches her brow. “So you like deep voices?” “Now don’t go getting all suspicious on me. You made me answer the question.” “Very true!” The gay boys say again, having felt the need to moderate. “So, fair is fair, which girl would you like Layla?” Layla jumps to answer. “They are all incredibly talented and beautiful, but I think I’ll choose Lacey. She would definitely keep things lively.” “Very true!” All three men say. The conversation lulled and after a bit Cris spoke. “I think the whole dancing thing is silly for the guys. The judges are always chastising the male stars for not looking masculine. And to me, none of that looks masculine.” “Very true!” Was the chorus again. “I mean it is obvious that it takes talent and skill, and it’s a given that you have to be in shape, but it just doesn’t look masculine. For God sakes, the guys wear heels to make their butts stick out. What’s up with that?” “You have a point. It isn’t traditional masculinity.” Layla comments. “But women don’t normally dress so scantily and contort themselves the way those gals do either. It is suppose to be situational sexy and romantic. I’m sure neither the men or the women walk down the street that way.” “Probably not, but that isn’t my point. My point is why judge masculinity in the dance when your standard clearly isn’t masculine?” “Tradition. I’d say.” Kyle does in fact, say. “Tradition or not.” Oliver says with glazed and distant eyes. “I’d still love to spend nine weeks with Dmitry. Can you imagine him in the morning. His face sporting a bit of stubble. Him plodding about in plaid thread-bare boxers, green felt slippers, and a tattered red terrycloth robe, which of course hangs open. And then greeting you with a groggy smile. Oh, it gives me chills.” “That’s a pretty specific image there, Sport.” Cris notes. “I think I’m beginning to see why we watch this crazy show every Monday.” Kyle looks at his man. “Cris is right. That is very specific. How long have you been thinking about that Russian powerhouse?” “Yeah, how long?” Cris teases. Layla gets panicked, wondering if maybe Oliver had been thinking of Dmitry when they had made love, but then she relaxes, realizing it doesn’t matter anyway – she had Cris now. Oliver stutters. “I… A… Can’t a guy...” “Relax sweetie,” Kyle says, tapping Oliver on his tummy with the bottom of his beer bottle. “I’m just glad to know you have those kinds of fantasies. And Dmitry is appealing. There is no denying that. You know he kind of looks like that actor on that daytime soap we watch.” “Oh yeah! He does.” Oliver shouts out. “I love that guy too. Both of those guys actually.” “They are so hot.” Layla adds, knowing instantly to whom they are referring. “I love them too. I just wish they had more storyline and onscreen time. They are so talented and their scenes just sizzle. But some actors, no matter how good, just never get enough screen time. It is a crying shame.” “Uh,” Cris interrupts, “who are we talking about now?” Oliver jumps to answer. “On The World Turns Safely’ they have two gay characters, Bob and Tom – Bom - to their fans. The actors that play them are so great. And the one that plays Bob looks a bit like Dmitry.” Cris raises a single brow. “Oh!” Kyle continues. “They have a huge, loyal, and very passionate following, but despite that Bom just doesn’t get much screen time. And their affection with each other is tightly controlled. It isn’t very realistic at all for a young gay male couple.” “Yeah,” Layla continues now. “It probably wouldn’t work if the fans weren’t so loyal and the actors so giving and committed. Not to mention extremely talented.” “Well I watch that other soap,” Cris adds, The Life’s We Live, it has just added a gay couple. I’ve seen them kiss on the show. In fact it seems like every time I turn it on, there they are. I’m constantly seeing them.” “Oh, those two are awful!” Kyle and Oliver say in unison. “They are older and neurotic, and their kisses have zero passion.” “I don’t know. I think they kiss just fine.” Layla counters. “Seems pretty real to me.” Cris opines. “Not like I’d kiss, but it is definitely kind of intense.” “Well, to each his own.” Kyle adds. “But for me, Bom is so much better than Hamb.” “Hamb?” Cris repeats, and then answers his own question. “Oh, I see. Hudson and Lamb. That is pretty silly, why do they always call that one guy by his last name?” “His whole name is weird.” Layla says. “Orson Lamb. Who names their kid Orson Lamb?” Oliver comes to Orson’s defense. “Hey, that’s a good name. I like it.” “You would!” Cris and Layla respond. Oliver shrugs. “Well, they aren’t as good as Bom at the kissing, but at least they get more story. Though I don’t get why that other guy is always showing up. I think he has issues.” Cris objects. “Oh, you mean, Tristian. The supposedly straight guy. Please. I’m not buying it.” Layla wades in. “No Cris, he is just looking out for them. He is completely and totally straight. I have impeccable gaydar.” Kyle feels the need to speak the truth, “Uh, Layla?” He points at Oliver. “Hey, I knew.” She responds defensively. “I just turned it off. But, I knew.” Cris smirks while Oliver and Kyle stifle a giggle. “No matter,” the lone female continues. “Tristian is straight. I’d bet on it. He is just being a good friend.” “For guys he doesn’t even really know?” Cristian presses his point. “What do you mean? He lives with one of them. And he is trying to protect his female roommate.” “See that is the part I don’t get. He seems to have a thing for Kayla and Orson knows this, so why would he befriend Orson, the guy who is stealing and deluding the gal he likes. Something doesn’t make sense there.” “Maybe he is trying to get Orson out of the way.” Kyle suggests. “Or maybe Cris is right.” Oliver suggests. “Maybe he fancies Orson and is jealous of Kayla but doesn’t know it. You know it takes some gay guys years to come to terms with their sexuality. A lot of them date women exclusively during that time.” All eyes fall on Oliver and silently say “ya think”! “Okay, I should talk. I’m just trying to explain Tristian to Cristian.” “I think you’ve better explained Orson, Oliver.” Kyle teases. Oliver arches his sandy brows and gives a half-nod. “I think,” Kyle continues. “It’s the writers fault. They have failed to write Tristian decisively. I’m pretty sure they mean him to be just a friend. They just haven’t explained why. Same thing with Hudson, he used to have tons of story until they made him gay. Now you barely see him.” “I agree.” Layla agrees. “Bob has the same problem. I guess you are only allowed to write around the gay relationship not actually about it. But in Tristian’s case, I think they are definitely going for the straight guy super good friend angle. They probably could have done it better, but it is a good idea. Besides, I would think all gay guys would like a friend like Tristian.” “I know I would.” Kyle blurts out. “Me too!” Oliver agrees. “Ah, excuse me guys.” Layla chides. “I think Cris IS that friend to you.” Both Oliver and Kyle get wide-eyed. “Cris? Really?” “Yes really!” Cris yells. “I don’t know what more I can do for you two. Practically everyone in town has called me gay during the last month or so. Not that that bothers me. Seriously guys, have you not noticed?” Oliver and Kyle exchange a glance. They can tell Cris is really hurt. They decide to end their joke and do so by pouncing on Cris, planting kisses on him, and giving the occasional tickle. All, while saying, “We love you man! We were just yanking your chain. You’re the best.” Layla, who has been slightly crushed in the playful melee, pushes them off. “Yes he is, and he is all mine. So back off, gay boys.” Oliver and Kyle sit up, smile, and say, “Why are all the good ones always straight?” The fabulous four break into laughter again and when it calms Layla says, “What bothers me is both Bom and Hamb started out with a doe-eyed trusting female being duped. Why must there always be a female victimized in the gay stories? Why can’t a gay story start like straight romances? With one guy simply asking another one out. Why drag a woman into it?” Kyle and Oliver exchange glances and then speak in unison. “Hello, it’s a soap. It’s all about the drama baby.” “I suppose,” Layla agrees. “But I look forward to the day when one male character can just waltz up to another and simply ask him out on a date.” Cris laughs while the gay boys nod. “What are you laughing at?” Layla asks. “You’ll never see that on a soap. The guy being asked would most likely beat the crap out of the guy asking. That is drama, baby.” “Well why do you guys do that?” Cris looks incredulous. “This guy doesn’t do that. I’m just saying it happens and a soap would definitely go that route. They always go the dramatic route. They never give you scenes of substance when the characters are in their happy period. But I guess that is what the people watching want.” “I’m not sure I agree.” Layla says. “Me either.” Oliver chimes in. “I do.” Kyle says. “I agree with Cris. Soaps rarely do the sweet moments or the logical or real action, they always go for the cheesy or dramatic.” “But why?” “Who knows? I guess they are convinced it is good story telling.” “Well, they must be onto something. We all watch.” Oliver says. “Very true.” Kyle agrees. “Well, you know I used to be in the business,” Layla states proudly, “and it definitely does operate on formulas. The old tried and true. It is kind of funny really, because they do that to make money. It is all about the money in the end.” “Isn’t everything?” Cris says to nobody in particular. “See that is the funny part,” Layla continues. “They produce all this product based on formulas to make money and then 90% of them never make money. They work for that elusive 10% and rarely get it. If they were smart they would try other formulas that would be cheaper to produce and statistically have a greater chance of being successful.” “Yeah, but you can’t do that with soaps. They are on every weekday. There are fixed costs.” “Yeah, I know. I guess I’m talking movies and other shows.” “I’ve got an idea,” Oliver says. “NBC is suffering in the 10pm slot these days. They should air The Jay Leno Show on Monday and Friday and then make an LGBT soap that they air Tuesday, Wednesday, and Thursday.” The other three laugh from the gut. “What makes you think people will watch an LGBT soap three nights a week?” Cris asks. “America isn’t ready for that.” “Well, Layla was talking about formulas. This would be a new formula for a niche market. America probably isn’t ready for it, but a sizeable chunk of America is bored and hungry for something new and different. If the show was a tamer version of Queer as Folk but more daring than daytime soaps, and if they market it the right way. I don’t know, it might find a loyal audience.” Kyle adds his quip, “Yeah, and put a sexy vampire on it.” Layla and Oliver nod their agreement with wide-eyes. “The audience wouldn’t be the problem.” Cris says. “The anti-audience would be.” “I agree with Cris again.” Kyle says. “It’s a good idea Ollie, but no network is going to commit to anything controversial like that, especially not NBC. I can practically hear certain groups screaming now.” Ollie is undeterred. “Well, Layla said it was about money. If they made money, they might.” “Maybe on a cable network, but not one of the big three.” “What about Fox?” “Oh please! No way.” “You know I don’t get Fox. Aren’t Fox and FX owned by the same group that owns Fox News? Fox News is clearly conservative and yet Fox and FX air some of the most irreverent shows. I don’t get it. Why don’t those groups scream about that?” “It is the pick and chose mentality. Your sin is always worse than mine.” “I suppose.” Layla interrupts the conversation. “You know. Oliver has given me an idea.” “Really?” Oliver eagerly states. “Yeah. Here it is. American is on the cusp with majority gay acceptance. The right show could help that along. We need a classy show where a straight guy is host and he shepherds a group of gay guys through a sort of gay boot camp.” “Say what?” The three men say with utter confusion. “Kind of a switched up Queer Eye for the Straight Guy.” Layla explains. “Exactly.” Kyle agrees excitedly, suddenly instantly in sync. “But it isn’t done for laughs. It’s serious, like some of those TLC shows. Almost like a documentary.” “Why would a straight man be the host?” Cris asks. “Because straight men have the most problems with gay men. If they see a straight man they can relate to interacting with gay men in a completely relaxed and confident manner then they can get to know the gay men and realize they have a lot in common.” “Okay,” Oliver says. “So why have a group of gay men? Why not just one per episode?” “Because the hook is it is sort of a game show, only not really. No one would get voted off. I always hate that anyway because my favorite is usually booted off early on. But back to my idea, over the course of the season, the audience would get to know the gay men through the safe eyes of the straight host.” “Wasn’t there a show that already did that? And wasn’t it a huge bust?” “That was Boy Meets Boy and that was a dating show. One guy left every week. This show everybody stays and graduates boot camp.” “And what do they do in boot camp?” “Well, I haven’t worked out the details. But off the top of my head I’d say relive the high school and college years.” Layla pauses to stand as her excitement for her idea grows. “Yeah, that’s it. They redo the high school and college years. Probably one year per episode. That would make the season nine episodes.” “And what is the point for the gay men? Some big prize?” Cris queried. “I don’t get it.” “Self-esteem. Self-confidence. Self-acceptance.” Kyle states. “Or,” Oliver suggests reflectively, “just reliving those years as they should have been able too.” “All that.” Layla agrees. “Plus a sense of what it means to me a man in today’s world.” “Gay men hardly have a lock on that problem.” Cris says. “That’s the point Cris.” Layla says. “During the season it will become clear that gay men and straight men have the same issues, save their sexual preference. I see the show as validating a man’s struggle to define himself in today’s society.” “Hmm! Don’t women have those problems too?” “Yeah, but women have tons of shows. Especially on daytime television. Men don’t have any.” “Maybe that is because men don’t watch those kinds of shows.” “But they do watch game shows. And they do watch shows recommended by their wives and girlfriends.” “I think you are on to something Layla.” Kyle says. “We could call it Gay My Game. Cris smirks. “Nah. That’s not good. It should be Man Up or Up My Machismo. No wait. That doesn’t work either. Definitely not.” “I know.” Oliver says. “We could get Dmitry to host and call it Buff My Bod. Cris laughs. “You do know Oliver if by some miracle you were on that show and somehow paired with Dmitry that you would meet at the studio every day. You don’t live together. You’re not likely to see him in his robe.” “Oh crap!” Oliver blurts out. “I hadn’t thought of that.” Kyle comes to the rescue with twinkling eyes and a suddenly lowered voice. “You know Oliver, I imagine if we hit some second-hand stores we might find a tattered red robe. And I know we could find plaid boxers.” “Really.” Oliver coos. Kyle arches his brows. “I’m a smaller powerhouse, and I’m not Russian, but I promise I’d work you hard.” Oliver gets wide-eyed and goose bumped. “Wait here!” Layla instructs and then disappears into her room. “I’m seeing an exciting evening for you two.” Cris teases with a huge wicked grin. Kyle and Oliver move to the couch’s edge. “We certainly hope so.” Layla returns with a not so worn out red robe. “Will this do?” Oliver’s eye’s gleam. “Sure will. Kyle?” “You know,” Kyle teases. “Cris is more Dmitry’s size.” “Forget it.” Cris says playfully. “I can’t dance, don’t ask me.” “Are you sure?” Layla toys seductively. “I have a purple one in my room with your name on it.” Cris’ eyes start to gleam too, as he stands. “For you, I’ll try. Can’t disappoint my lady.” “Okay then,” Oliver says in his own sultry voice as he stands and pulls Kyle up by the collar. “Come on Kymitry, we have work to do.” “Yes,” Kymitry teases back. “And I’m going to make you sweat.” “Catch ya in the morning.” The gay duo says as they depart. “Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do.” Cris yells after them and then focuses on Layla, who is just beaming. “What?” Layla moves close and gently caresses Cris’ cheek. “I find it so incredibly sexy that you aren’t threatened by their love in any discernable way.” “Really?” Cris asks almost blankly. “Really.” Layla confirms. “Why aren’t you?” “The truth?” “Always.” “I’ve had my foot in the art world and been a bartender. Both exposed me to all kinds of people. And, in my past I was an accidental porn star thanks to a certain Lindsey Rappaport and a jerk named Chad. So, I had lots of offers. I’ve learned they are just people looking for love or sex or both. I know who I am so why should I be anything but flattered. And as far as those two, they are both my friend. You can just look at them and see the love oozing out. What person in their right mind wants to put the kybosh on love?” “Hopefully none.” Layla agrees. “And that is what this show could show. We only need to sway about 5% of the population. I’m convinced if it was done classy and with the right host, it would be great entertainment that would have a positive effect on the country. Hmm!” She adds, stroking her chin. “You know, you’d be the perfect host.” Cris laughs. “No I wouldn’t. I’m not famous enough. You’ll need a guy America knows already. And probably around my age. That would give him credibility.” “That rules out Levi Johnson.” “Now he is one interesting dude. I think I like him. But he is not right for your show. He is still finding his own way.” Suddenly Oliver’s words bounce into the living room. “Oh my God, you look marvelous. Take me Kymitry, I’m yours.” “Zat you are, Meester Vish.” “Shut the door guys.” Cris yells. Layla laughs and then gets back on topic. “Maybe we could get Blake Golbman and Stan Legsis.” Cris scrunches his face. “Who are they?” “The actors that play Bob and Tom.” “Hmm. I don’t know. They might be too young. And do we know their sexuality?” “No. But they definitely have the talent and a serious presence on the small screen.” “I’m going to have to check them out. But I think a better fit might be that actor that plays Tristian, Michael Angelo. I'm pretty sure he would make the perfect man.” Layla laughs. “There you go getting all unconditional loving again.” Cris smiles as he strokes his own chin. “So, you said something about the color purple.” “I did.” “It’s a great color. I look good in purple.” “I’ll be the judge of that.” “Then let the judging begin.” Cris whoops as they too make their way into the bedroom. Author’s Note: For the record and because people are so sensitive about the issue, I find both Nuke and Kish entertaining, adorable, and frustrating. I refuse to believe I must pick one or the other. I firmly believe our society is enriched by having both – I know I am. Also, in this story, there is this line “Your sin is always worse than mine.” Please don’t anybody infer that I’m saying homosexuality is a sin. I am not!!! The line just fit, IMO. Edited by b32guy, Nov 29 2009, 07:09 AM.
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| appleridge | Nov 27 2009, 08:00 PM Post #2 |
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That was Great |
| TimeToFly | Nov 27 2009, 08:21 PM Post #3 |
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James
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That was fantastic and really fun!! And it helped show off Cris as the awesome character he is! Thanks for this story!! :grin: |
| kyboom | Nov 27 2009, 11:56 PM Post #4 |
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Michael
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Great story. I loved the comedic eliminate involved. Cris, Layla, Oliver and Kyle together always rocks. And Cris is so cool with the guys. I love it! Thanks for posting. |
| b32guy | Nov 29 2009, 07:09 AM Post #5 |
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I love it long and wavy!
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Thanks folks! Glad you liked it. |
| WhiskeyTangoFoxtrot | Nov 29 2009, 07:18 AM Post #6 |
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The Whore of Babylon
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So loved this. Much of the conversation reminded me of some of the debate popping up on political sites after the Adam Lambert AMA performance. Which was great how you incorporated so much meta reflection into the story! And I think its great you love both stories, Nuke and Kish. I haven't ever watched ATWT, but more well-written romances are what's needed in daytime! Thanks so much. |
| b32guy | Nov 29 2009, 07:28 AM Post #7 |
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I love it long and wavy!
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Yeah, those types of debates fascinate me. I sometimes wish I could stop reading them and sometimes not, but either way, I can't. I'm thinking my stories are just me arguing with myself and others through the characters. At any rate, thanks! |
| Nukester | Dec 2 2009, 10:19 AM Post #8 |
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:grin: There are so many loops and assides and references, my head spins (again)! And beer bottles as props. LOL They must have a beer truck parked out front of their appartment 24/7! So what do you think the odds are that you've sold the network about... 5 different shows with this story? If only! :woo: |
| b32guy | Dec 2 2009, 02:10 PM Post #9 |
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I love it long and wavy!
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Zero! :LMAO: |
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2:48 AM Jul 11