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| Chapter 1 | |
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| Tweet Topic Started: Jul 9 2008, 10:59 AM (98 Views) | |
| Yoda | Jul 9 2008, 10:59 AM Post #1 |
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I'm stuck a little bit on what to do, but I have the majority of it completed. Tell me what you think (Bolded stuff in parantesis are just summaries where more writting will fit. These are the parts I don't know what to do) CHAPTER 1 - MEET THE 1ST SAGE Alden flung himself from his bed, grasping at his burning scalp. After stumbling blindly across his room, knocking down his trinkets and other belongings along the way, he made it to his lantern, turning it on and flinching at the sudden change of light. He glanced at himself in the mirror through watering eyes. The bizarre symbol on his forehead was glowing again. It did so every time he had that dream, and like every other time, it had once again put him in agony. Whenever he brought this up to his older brother, Salim, he quickly dismissed it and warned him not to tell anyone about it, especially the Ustdyn soldiers. Perhaps his brother’s concern wasn’t entirely unfounded. Their village was part of the territory taken over by the evil Ustdyn Empire early on during the war. That was almost two years ago and had happened when Alden was only fourteen. His father was dead by then and had been a soldier fighting for their homeland of Beljlor. His mother died soon after Ustdyn’s arrival due to a terrible sickness while the Ustdyn medics stood to the side and refused to aid her. Since then Salim has been taking care of Alden, doing his best to keep him out of trouble with the Ustdyn patrols that had stationed nearby to keep order. Well…to keep them from rebelling is more like it. Only a few had attempted a mad dash toward the border into Beljlor, but none of them made it past and their families were taken away from the village to who knows where. With broken spirits, all his village could do was sit in resentment and try to wait out the war and try to live as best as they were able with what they had until help arrived. They knew Beljlor was still fighting hard to repel Ustdyn advancements. Endelm, a country that was well known for its culture and technological advancements had also sided with Beljlor to aid with supplies and what little soldiers they had. Aligroth and the Lohatan Alliance chose to remain neutral, while Pol’etan was a frozen wasteland only home to small groups of natives with no formal armies and remained isolated from the rest of the continent. Ustdyn was the largest of them all, but if the other countries would unite they just might have a chance. A large clamor outside disrupted his thoughts and Alden quickly jerked his head to the side to see what was going on outside his window. The sky was still dark, and the only form of light came from a group of torches advancing through the street. Someone from the group was yelling into the distance, but was too far away for him to make out the words. A few seconds later two torches broke off from the main group and went toward their home. "Darn it. What are they doing here at this hour?" Alden said, slipping into his boots hastily. He went quickly through the house in an effort to get to the entryway before the soldiers did, and got there just as Salim was opening the door. Alden retraced his steps backwards in conceal himself from their view as light flooded into the room and the shadows of his brother and an Ustdyn Soldier appeared on the back wall. "Time for your taxes, duhren," a soldier commanded sternly, spitting out the word "duhren" with an over exaggerated distaste. Alden found out later from Salim that "duhren" was an expression in the ancient language as a title given to someone of much lower status, and translates quite literally into "scum." Alden clenched his fists in anger. "My brother is twice as good as you," he though to himself bitterly, but managed to hold his tongue. "We've already paid this week," Salim replied calmly. "You think so? Well the tax has tripled. Our great king just passed the bill, so we don't want to wait another second to collect on his well deserved gold from you duhren," the soldier remarked coldly. "Well deserved?' Salim questioned. There was a loud thud, and Alden saw his brothers shadow crumple to a kneeling position in pain. Alden let out a growl and charged into the room, grasping on his brothers shoulders to help him up. "What was that for, your cowards!" he shouted. "Restrain yourself Alden," Salim ordered sternly. "Hmm...You seem to be in good enough shape to be of great use in the mining facilities, child,” The younger soldier commented. “How about we make a slave of him and you can keep your blasted gold?" "Your so called 'great king' is too busy using Rilian and Awcrae to do his slave work. He wouldn't condemn a human to work in the mines, God forbid," Salim casually replied. "Keep this up and you will both be executed on the spot. We don't need to be as merciful as we are to you duhren, you know," the lead soldier said harshly. Salim reached over to a small box on a shelf and opened it, dumping some of the contents into the soldier’s outstretched hand. The soldier examined the amount for a few seconds, and then smiled when he confirmed it was all there. "Pleasure doing business with you," he said in a much lighter tone, like nothing had happened. "Oh, here, keep the copper pieces. Don't want you starving on us," he gave a laugh as he flicked the coins onto the ground at Salim's feet and closed the door. Salim sighed tiredly as he scooped up the coins and placed them back into the box. "Go back to bed Alden, it's late." "You’re just going to let them leave?" Alden questioned, still angry about what had just happened. "There's nothing we can do about it...at least not now. No. We just have to wait this out," Salim mumbled, almost to himself. "Now I'm not going to ask you again, go to bed. Don't be surprised if I'm not here in the morning. I have business to take care of." Without another word, he left into the hall and a second later Alden heard the door open and then close. He soon followed and slipped into his own room. Before going back into bed, he checked his forehead in the mirror. The pain had stopped, and the symbol had vanished. "What am I to do?" He asked himself gloomily. The rest of the night was spent restlessly, waiting for dawn. * * * * * * * * * * Salim was, in fact, gone when Alden got up in the morning. He found a note lying on the kitchen table saying he could spend the day out at the village, just as long he comes back before dinner. Hastily scribbled a the bottom of the note said, “P.S. Don’t forget the horse race, or I’ll have to whack you twice as hard at dueling practice tomorrow morning” There were only a couple bronze coins for him on the table, but Alden had no choice but to settle with what has been given. He scooped them up into his cupped hand, and after slipping them into a pocket he made his way quickly out the door and down the dirt path. He made a quick pit stop to feed his horse, Aida, in the stable and then he was on his way. The village wasn’t too far from his ranch, and Alden could see it down the sloping path from his house. There wasn’t much between his home and the village. (Trip to village. Alden meets up with Braendan) “My name’s Alden,” he said. Somehow he got the feeling like that man already knew that, but he’d say it anyways to be polite. “Braendan,” he replied with a nod. “It was a pleasure meeting you. You take care, now.” “I will sir,” Alden said. Satisfied with that answer, Braendan gave one last nod before heading off into the crowd and disappearing from sight. Alden watched him go with an odd assumption that he would see him again soon, so didn’t even bother saying goodbye. It was weird that all of a sudden he was making assumptions about everything, and he tried to get his mind off of it by looking for something fun to do. The large stand with colorful signs across the way caught his eye. The sign red “Flinn’s Shooting Gallery” It was a game where you use a bow to shoot at miniature scarecrow-like targets while avoiding the rocks. He liked that game, especially when the owner dressed the scarecrows in Ustdyn styled armor when the soldiers were not around. He could make out the red armor from here, and let out a smile as he made his way across the road and up to the stand, fishing out his remaining coins and dumping them out onto the counter. Flinn, the owner, turned to greet him with a smile. He was heavyset with a white balding head and a scraggily beard. He was the type of person who all the kids loved to hang around. “Up for another round, aye, Alden?” He said. “Yes, sir. I have enough coins for six arrows,” Alden replied. Flinn gave him a nod and dipped underneath the counter to fetch out his arrows while Alden surveyed the gallery’s obstacles. Flinn changed them periodically, and today’s configuration was especially difficult. As usual there were twenty targets in all. Some of them swayed back and forth as the gears worked underneath, but they weren’t his real concern. There was one scarecrow in particular that had never been hit, though many attempted. That scarecrow remained at the top of the gallery…directly behind a large rock. The only proof that it was even there was a large, pointy red hat that lay on its head. That image often haunted Alden in his dreams. A large pointy red hat and the scarecrow beneath that could never be hit. At least until today. Alden was now completely sure of himself that he would nail it, along with every other target on the field. He had to know what the super secret prize was that Flinn had promised. The arrows were passed to him, and Alden readied the bow that was standing up against the counter for him to use. “First shot to the right,” Alden called in an attempt to show-off. “Scarecrows number one, two, three, and four, say goodbye!” Alden released the string and the arrow whistled forward, carving a path upwards at incredible speeds. Bystanders applauded loudly as they saw a gaping hole torn through each of the four of the scarecrows and scratch marks along the nearby rocks, used to redirect the paths through each of their hearts. Alden smiled as a group of girls standing close to him let out a whistle. “If you thought that was cool then you’re going to love this!” Alden remarked. With that, he pulled his string back and fired his second shot. The crowd erupted again as five more met their maker in a flurry of hay and wood. An entire section of the stage collapsed. His next three arrows went equally well, taking out line after line of targets until there was one left. The crowd let out a gasp in mock horror as they realized it was down to the untouchable target. “Ooooooh! ” Some of the bystanders called out. By now the crowd had grown to over forty people, both young and old. All of them stared wide-eyed at him. “Only one other person got to this point. A kid named Raulf,” Flinn whispered. “He’s the best archer in town, and he went through fifteen arrows trying for it.” “Then I should thank him for warming this one up for me,” Alden replied. With that, he turned to face his target and steadied his shaking hands. He stared at the rock that covered it until he could almost see the target that lay beyond. He knew what he had to do. After taking a deep breath he released the arrow. At first it appeared like it was going to miss high, but it slowly curved as it rotated downward, spiraling to the left of one of the rocks and concealed from view underneath it. A loud thump echoed throughout the range and the crowd grew deadly silent, wondering what in the world had just happened. They could tell the target was missing from its place, so they looked around excitedly for any trace of it. A huge grin lit up Alden’s face and he rocked smugly back and forth on his heels. It was only then that someone pointed it out. The scarecrow was pinned up against the ceiling, Alden’s arrow cutting upwards straight through its heart. At first there was silence as they gawked at the sight, then all of a sudden the crowd went wild as people walked up and patted Alden on the back and shoved him over playfully. Alden suddenly remembered something and turned back toward Flinn enthusiastically. “So what is my prize?” he asked. “Unfortunately an Ustdyn Patrol confiscated my original prize during one of their routine checks. It was a custom made dagger from the Sarva region. A fine piece of work,” Flinn said gloomily. Then his face suddenly brightened. “But I did manage to find a compensation price!” (I don’t know what the prize is yet. Alden comments on the fact that it is a piece of junk, but latter on it saves his life somehow) “Well, you cheated anyways,” Flinn said as a comeback, mockingly wagging his finger at Alden in shame. “Me?” Alden asked, puzzled. “You used magic to influence the arrow.” “I…don’t understand. I can’t use magic.” “According to my experience, boy, arrows are supposed to fly straight!” “What…are you implying?” “So you really don’t know, do you? This must have been passive magic. Well, magic cast through your body without your knowledge. The most common form gives the person extra strength, increased reaction time, and the sort. It is rare for it to influence something so drastically like that without the person’s knowledge,” Flinn explained. “So I can use magic?” Alden spurted out in a burst. He was leaning eagerly forward across the counter. “I can’t say for sure. I’m not a (Name for a magic user), you know. But I do know that you’re some strange little kid,” he said. “Now pardon me while I clean up this mess for the next round of contestants.” They exchanged a brisk handshake and parted ways. Alden was in a daze as he left the stand and started back for home. Time had flown by and it was already time for him to head back. He never imagined something like this could happen. Thoughts raced through his head all the way back. Could he really use magic? How come Flinn acted like he was such a special case? Why didn’t Alden know about any of this until now? Why didn’t Salim tell him this earlier? Salim definitely had a lot of explaining to do when Alden got back. As he entered the stable to pick up Aida he decided to let that slide until tomorrow morning after practice. After all, he still had a lot to do until then and Salim probably wouldn’t tell him anyways, knowing him. (Not much else happens. Alden just goes over to where Salim is waiting) |
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| Darkness | Jul 9 2008, 10:18 PM Post #2 |
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I can't read it all tonight, but I'll try tomorrow. |
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| Darkness | Jul 12 2008, 11:39 AM Post #3 |
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1.The beginning reminds me of Robin Hood(the animal cartoon one where Robin's a fox and the king's a lion) 2.I like it alot 3.Magic user name- Draxin? Ziward? |
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| Yoda | Jul 12 2008, 03:12 PM Post #4 |
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3.I was thinking more along the lines of something that has the word "arra" in it. Like their name would mean "user of arra" in some other language. Although the word arra may be different in that language so some of yours might work. |
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| Billychu | Jul 16 2008, 08:32 PM Post #5 |
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The Billychu
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I'm gonna read this tomorrow (I'm typing this to help me remember). |
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2:27 PM Jul 11