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| The divorce letter. | |
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| Tweet Topic Started: Nov 27 2010, 12:15 PM (191 Views) | |
| Ont_Excal | Nov 27 2010, 12:15 PM Post #1 |
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CANADIAN CARNIVORE
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Dear wife: I'm writing you this letter to tell you that I'm leaving you forever. I've been a good man to you for 7 years & I have nothing to show for it. These last 2 weeks have been terrible. Your boss called to tell me that you quit your job today & that was the last straw. Last week, you came home & didn't even notice I had a new haircut, had cooked your favorite meal & even wore a brand new pair of silk boxers. You ate in 2 minutes, & went straight to sleep after watching all of your soaps. You don't tell me you love me anymore; you don't want sex or anything that connects us as husband & wife. Either you're cheating on me or you don't love me anymore; whatever the case, I'm gone...... Signed, Your EX-Husband. P.S. Don't try to find me, your SISTER & I are moving away to Oklahoma together. Have a great life! ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Dear Ex-Husband, Nothing has made my day happier than receiving your letter. It's true you & I have been married for 7 years, although a good man is a far cry from what you've been. I watch my soaps so much because they drown out your constant whining & griping. Too bad that doesn't work. I DID notice when you got a hair cut last week, but the first thing that came to mind was 'You look just like a freak, but since my mother raised me not to say anything if you can't say something nice, I didn't comment. And when you cooked my favorite meal, you must have gotten me confused with MY SISTER, because I stopped eating pork 7 years ago. About those new silk boxers: I turned away from you because the $49.99 price tag was still on them, and I prayed it was a coincidence that my sister had just borrowed $50 from me that morning. After all of this, I still loved you & felt we could work it out. So, when I hit the lotto for 10 million dollars, I quit my job and bought us two tickets to Jamaica , but, when I got home you were gone. Everything happens for a reason, I guess. I hope you have the fulfilling life you always wanted. My lawyer said that the Letter you wrote ensures you won't get a dime from me. So take care. Signed, Your Ex-Wife, Rich As Gates and Free at last! P.S. I don't know if I ever told you this, but my sister Carla was born Carl. I hope that's not a problem!
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| Preserve wildlife --- use a vacuum sealer --- and freezer | |
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| Perchdrifter | Nov 27 2010, 05:11 PM Post #2 |
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Trophy Hunter
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LOL |
| Live every day like it's your last | |
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| bowhunter-57 | Nov 27 2010, 06:57 PM Post #3 |
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Administrator
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Oh that hurts.
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If it's got fur,feathers or scales it's in trouble Excal Exocet 175 Middleton DTM330 S/W 44Mag | |
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| justintime | Dec 5 2010, 08:59 PM Post #4 |
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Squirrel Master
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haha |
| ~ People Eating Tasty Animals ~ | |
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7:15 PM Jul 10
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7:15 PM Jul 10