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The divorce letter.
Topic Started: Nov 27 2010, 12:15 PM (191 Views)
Ont_Excal
CANADIAN CARNIVORE
[ * ]
Dear wife:
I'm writing you this letter to tell you that I'm leaving you forever.
I've been a good man to you for 7 years & I have nothing to show
for it.

These last 2 weeks have been terrible. Your boss called to tell me that you quit your job today & that was the last straw.

Last week, you came home & didn't even notice I had a new haircut, had cooked your favorite meal & even wore a brand new pair of silk boxers.

You ate in 2 minutes, & went straight to sleep after watching all
of your soaps.

You don't tell me you love me anymore; you don't want sex or anything that connects us as husband & wife. Either you're cheating on me or you
don't love me anymore; whatever the case, I'm gone......
Signed,
Your EX-Husband.

P.S. Don't try to find me, your SISTER & I are moving away to Oklahoma together.
Have a great life!

------------------------------------------------------------------------
Dear Ex-Husband,

Nothing has made my day happier than receiving your letter.
It's true you & I have been married for 7 years, although a good
man is a far cry from what you've been.

I watch my soaps so much because they drown out your constant whining & griping. Too bad that doesn't work.

I DID notice when you got a hair cut last week, but the first thing
that came to mind was 'You look just like a freak, but since my mother raised me not to say anything if you can't say something nice, I didn't comment. And when you cooked my favorite meal, you must have gotten me confused with MY SISTER, because I stopped eating pork 7 years ago.

About those new silk boxers: I turned away from you because the $49.99 price tag was still on them, and I prayed it was a coincidence that my sister had just borrowed $50 from me that morning.

After all of this, I still loved you & felt we could work it out.
So, when I hit the lotto for 10 million dollars, I quit my job and bought us two tickets to Jamaica , but, when I got home you were gone.

Everything happens for a reason, I guess.

I hope you have the fulfilling life you always wanted.
My lawyer said that the Letter you wrote ensures you won't get a dime from me.

So take care.

Signed,
Your Ex-Wife, Rich As Gates and Free at last!


P.S. I don't know if I ever told you this, but my sister Carla was born Carl. I hope that's not a problem! doh
Preserve wildlife --- use a vacuum sealer --- and freezer
 
Perchdrifter
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Trophy Hunter
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LOL
Live every day like it's your last
 
bowhunter-57
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Administrator
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Oh that hurts. bash1
If it's got fur,feathers or scales it's in trouble

Excal Exocet 175
Middleton DTM330
S/W 44Mag



 
justintime
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Squirrel Master
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haha
~ People Eating Tasty Animals ~
 
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