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| The salsa argument | |
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| Tweet Topic Started: Nov 25 2017, 06:29 PM (77 Views) | |
| fridaynightpizza | Nov 25 2017, 06:29 PM Post #1 |
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*guy dips into the salsa and takes a bite* *shot of the salsa guy looking over in anticipation* *guy nods his head making a face that says not bad* "you don't like it?" inquires salsa man. "No yeah, it's good, good salsa," says the guy unenthusiastically. "you don't like it," salsa man repeats. "no, no it's good, I like it," says the guy, tilting his head down nervously "it's uhh it's good salsa," he responds meekly. "Come on, don't bullshit me. What? What don't you like about my salsa? Don't sugarcoat it, come on." "The salsa's great, it's fine, it's great salsa," says the guy more defensively. "What you think i can't make salsa? You think you can make better salsa than me?" the salsa man continues. "No it's great, job well done." "So what you're calling me an idiot now? You think i can't tell you didn't like my salsa? Come on, be a man, tell me what's wrong with my salsa." The guy looks over to his wife, an expression of confusion on his face. "I don't know, maybe it's too much cilantro-" "Wow, wow too much-too much cilantro?" the salsa man cuts the guy off. "I'm not big into cilantro," he adds, "Plenty of people like cilantro, I just, i'm not a big fan." "You son of a bitch, you walk in here, into my house, and you tell me I put too much cilantro in my salsa y-y-you- cilantro? Cilantro? Wow. Unbelievable." "It's just one opinion, it's not a big deal, loo-look Karen thinks the salsa's great, don't you honey?" the guy says turning over to his wife for aid. "It's so good, Mike, the salsa is delicious," adds his wife. "No, no you're trying to tell me I don't know how to make salsa, this is a family recipe-that my whole family doesn't know how to make salsa. Unbelievable," says Mike the salsa man. He starts pacing around the kitchen, grabbing his face in complete shock. "You come into my house, my house. You insult my whole family, my mother, my grandmother-" "Really, it's no big deal, my opinion really isn't that important, I just, I-I-It's not my thing, I'm the outlier here," he pleads. "No I know what you're saying. You're saying I don't know what the fuck I'm doing!" Mike snaps, slamming his hand on the counter. "C-come on, lets be adults here Mike, let's ju-" "Oh now you're calling me a child? You think I'm a fucking child now?" "That's not what I said." "Oh I heard what you said, you said lets be adults. Am I not an adult? You think I'm a child? You come into my house, you insult my family-" "You're blowing things out of proportion here Mike" "-you say, you have the audacity to call me a child? In my own house?" Mike's entire face has turned red. He's grabbed his guest by the collar. Karen squeals, more and more guests have closed in on the scene, tentatively peeking their heads in on the commotion. "Mike, please, the salsa's great just- lets just calm down here," he says, grabbing the wall behind him for support. "Calm down? Calm down?" Mike repeats, raising his fist in preparation. "Mike! What in the hell is going on here?" A voice pierces the scene, distracting the bully long enough for the man to escape his grasp. A quite unhappy woman makes her way through the crowd. "He insulted my salsa, he said it has too much cilantro!" Mike shouts. The terrified man clumsily falls over to the floor and stumbles over to his wife. "You, get the hell out of my house!" Mike adds as the duo hurriedly do just that. |
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7:28 AM Jul 11