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[Approved] Whistey Slurmkin[Archived]
Topic Started: Feb 10 2015, 10:08 PM (560 Views)
pantherasapiens
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× General Information

Posted Image

Name: Whistey Slurmkin
Gender: Male
Age: 25
Height: 5 foot 3
Weight: 70kg
Species: Human
Appearance: Whistey keeps himself well groomed and clean-shaven. His hair is carefully slicked back and tied in a neat bow, and he cuts it again every morning when he wakes up. He wears a sharply ironed shirt and a sleek black vest, black formal trousers, and a pair of shoes. There are numerous pouches sewn into the sleeves and the vest, which he keeps his money and mahjong-cards in.

Profession: Treasure Hunter
Reputation: 40 (Rank H)

Background

Backpack


× Physical Statistics

[0/5]
[0/55]

Aura: 13
Might: 15
Agility: 11
Endurance: 13
Accuracy: 13

× Nen Techniques

Basic Nen Techniques

Hatsu Affinity: Materialisation

[6/6]
[0/2]


Hatsu Theme: Card combinations
General Hatsu Description: Whistey materialises cards and uses them to set up effects. Each combination is unique to its effect.
General Hatsu Conditions:
1. Whistey cannot play by himself; there must be at least one other conscious person around him for him to use his Hatsu.
2. The cards will not fill in if the other people do not say or do anything.
3. The cards must be held in Whistey's hand, fanned out; otherwise they vanish.

Hatsu Abilities


× Non-Nen Techniques

[20/23]
Techniques
Edited by Westborn, Jun 9 2015, 08:35 PM.
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Flash
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Those whom the gods wish to destroy, they first make mad.

I'll just start with the first hatsu for now.

I very much like the idea and the potential of the cards, but i'm not 100% convinced by the conditions you have in place. It's a pretty simple hatsu, but how you've gone about determining which cards you receive (with a couple) seem quite strange and i'd possibly even go as far to say out of place. Regarding the consonant and vowel part mainly. Implementing this in RP would be odd as well.

When it comes to attacks and defenses it works to an extent but when it comes to what somebody else saying a word its abusable on both ends. With a partner you could essentially access any card that you want when you need it and, seeing as you're looking to tie these in with stronger hatsu abilities that's a serious no-no. It's abusable for the opponent because they could do everything in their power to avoid saying either. Meta-gaming is a thing unfortunately, so are bad RPers. The last thing is more advice than anything and another reason i'd replace these two conditions: When do you draw the cards? Assuming that you draw then only during your post, then you could miss opportunities to use the card. Not only that, your opponent could decide to just... stay silent. It sucks, especially because giving your opponents a degree of control is a good conditions, but it's stuff you have to take into account and honestly you could easily come up with something else. (I'm not entirely sold on a neutral movement either tbh, depending on how the cards determine what is what. *See "PS")

You're not very clear on whether he conjures all four at the same time or one at a time. I assume you intend to conjure them one at a time? Make it completely idiot-proof. If this is the case then the one post cooldown makes sense, otherwise probably not.

Oh and you could probably specify the cards as being made of a bit of a stronger material if you'd like.

PS: Also with attacks, defenses and neutral movements do the cards count attacks as Whistey perceives them? Or do the cards know whether it is an actual attack or not? (Such as in the case of feints or things that look like a defense but are actually an attack.)
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pantherasapiens
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Thanks! I've made the following edits:

- He always summons the number of cards that will bring the number of cards in hand up to the maximum, and at least one post must pass between each summoning.
- The summoned cards have steel edges now.
- I've replaced the attack/ defense/ neutral conditions with "moves toward/ away from/ keeps distance from Whistey".

Regarding what you said about the enemy speech, I think it's actually fairly okay - people will talk in battle if for nothing than to call out their attack names, after all! It's not a specific word I need them to say after all, it's either vowels or consonants.
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Ken sweatshirt
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Everyone's always telling you to be humble. When was the last time someone told you to be great?

Wow, I really like this hatsu. I think metagaming can just be called on when it happens.

For hotspring, if it includes one month of care and blabla, then minor and extremely minor can get together for the first 2 posts. Nothing there that makes 4 posts worth it.

Boom might need a little more conditions for it´s strength. 5kg of c4 is a fight finisher.
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pantherasapiens
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Thank you! I agree, metagaming will be very obvious against this ability and should be relatively easy to detect and call out~

- I've melded minor and extremely minor conditions together to require only 2 posts of healing.
- I've added three new conditions to the bomb hatsu (speed variation according to slope, minimum one full turn to the key, and the bomb changes colour as it approaches explosion)!
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Ken sweatshirt
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Everyone's always telling you to be humble. When was the last time someone told you to be great?

Wait. 25 meters a second? Slow that down a little homie. Also give it a 4 post cooldown. 5 kg of c4 cannot be underestimated.
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pantherasapiens
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Done, and done!
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Ken sweatshirt
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Everyone's always telling you to be humble. When was the last time someone told you to be great?

Just say it's as fast as you. That way it will grow with you.
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Asylum
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Prone to Madness

Quote:
 
6. Whistey is physically unable to move more than En range away from the mat, as if he is bound to it by an invisible tether. If the mat is moved out of Whistey's En range, he is forcibly dragged back into range.
Change this to a set range, like Pitou's 20 meters.

While your card-hatsu is cool, I don't think condition-wise its really all that hard to pull off. I mean, there's not even anything stating that he can't just ask a friend to do certain actions and easily get what he needs. Especially for hot springs, I find it to be far too advanced a healing ability for what you're sacrificing. Normally incurable things like blindness, deafness, or regenerating lost organs that medical science can't really resolve should be extremely difficult to heal through nen as well, and this doesn't strike me as something of that level. Why, as it is, your character could make an enormous fortune by healing people on organ waiting lists (or performing specialized surgeries he has no experience in). I'd say note that incurable sicknesses/injuries (or making new organs/doing more than basic surgeries) such as I mentioned above aren't curable using the ability, and maybe he can't acquire more cards for a period of time afterwards.
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pantherasapiens
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Zungaken:
- Done!

Asylum:
- I've changed the range to 20m, and caused most of the negative effects to apply to both Whistey and the target of the healing.
- That's true, but it does force him to always have that friend around (and trust that said friend doesn't blab the conditions to someone else)...
- Would you think it would be acceptable in its current state if I added more conditions to it, like -4 all stats or something like that?
- There's already a condition on the MNCards that at least one post must go by between sacrificing cards and conjuring new ones. Is that enough, or did you mean something else?
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