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| [Approved] Kokoro Fuyoki[Archived] | |
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| Tweet Topic Started: Jan 3 2015, 04:07 PM (777 Views) | |
| Kocho | Jan 3 2015, 04:07 PM Post #1 |
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× General Information Name: Kokoro Fuyoki Gender: Female Age: 14 Height: 144 cm Weight: 94 lbs Species: Human Appearance: Image Profession: Blacklist Hunter Reputation: 0 (Rank H) Background Backpack × Physical Statistics [0/0] [0/50] Aura: 8 Might: 9 Agility: 12 Endurance: 9 Accuracy: 12 × Nen Techniques Basic Nen Techniques Hatsu Affinity: Conjurer [2/6] [0/0] Hatsu Theme: General Hatsu Description: General Hatsu Conditions: Hatsu Abilities × Non-Nen Techniques [4/16] Techniques
Edited by Kocho, Feb 1 2015, 11:17 AM.
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| הּKen sweatshirt | Jan 26 2015, 05:54 AM Post #11 |
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Everyone's always telling you to be humble. When was the last time someone told you to be great?
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" able to withstand rank 3 hits of damage." Rank isn't synonymous with power, it's more for complexity. Just say they're made from metal. Add a strong condition like she needs an one post preparation before being able to summon weapons. The ones you currently have are kinda weak. Systema can be rank 4. Do that and I'll 1/2 |
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| Asylum | Jan 26 2015, 11:25 AM Post #12 |
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Prone to Madness
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So, let me get a break down: Small Items: Kunai, senbon, shuriken, daggers, smoke bombs, paper bombs, chili pepper bombs, lighters, and wire Medium Items: Tonfa, fans, chain sickles, sickles, staffs, flails, bow and arrows, fuma shuriken, , whips, nunchucks, claws, swords, mallots, kokinjo, kusari, spear, johyo, kama, katar, kusarigama, hammers, and ringed blades Large Items: great swords, giant shuriken, large iron balls, barrels, crossbows, human sized puppets, , large Tonfa, binding cloth, and jidanda. The ones I bolded are either items I'm confused about why she would need, don't think really fit with the concept, or are so enormous that the fact that you just sort of throw them in with the rest is slightly jarring. In general, an ability that let's you conjure anything is going to be very difficult to get approved in addition to being highly ranked. I get that you have a ninja theme, and wanted something like Tenten's ability to launch swarms of items, but the fact that you add bombs, melee weapons, crossbows, puppets, cloth, and building-sized exploding spiked balls to the mix is frankly confusing to me. If you're trying to follow established weapon-sizes, know that Small weapons don't include things like grenades or smoke bombs and the Jidanda at least would be too big to even fall into our Very Large weapon category. You don't describe much the extent of control the nen threads give her (can she just alter their direction? Freely control them within a certain radius?), but in general that sounds like a manipulation ability. Now giving a conjured item the ability to be manipulated by the user to an extent isn't something I'm completely against, but in this case the ability is basically 'conjure numerous different items' and the nen thread is kind of just a bonus effect. So, as it is, this ability is denied. Instead of just coming up with a big list of things that might be useful, I suggest you keep your focus on certain applications. Do you want a scroll that can unleash a swarm of projectiles like Tenten? Do you want a hatsu that you can activate and pull out a weapon or item from? It'd be a lot simpler if you separated them. Something like the Jidanda should probably be its own hatsu as well. On a side note, I don't know if you're set on Conjuration, but if not, you could likely achieve similar effects to Tenten's skill through either manipulation or emission. Emission, in that you can fire a lot of projectiles in said shape, and even control their flight, even if they're technically made of aura. For manipulation, Shoot - a manipulator - has been shown in the series as having the ability to compress objects into tattoos and back as well. You could so something similar with your scroll, and as a manipulator you could easily make a nen thread hatsu as well. |
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| Kocho | Jan 26 2015, 06:06 PM Post #13 |
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Idk what to do now ;-; |
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| Kocho | Jan 26 2015, 07:02 PM Post #14 |
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I figured it out. Hope this is approvable ;-; |
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| Asylum | Jan 30 2015, 12:39 PM Post #15 |
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Prone to Madness
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Ok, I want you to specify how you plan for this ability to be used. Is it just to create a swarm of items to be launched at the enemy, or can you can you also use the ability just to create melee weapons to use in close combat? If so, can you distribute the weapons around to arm allies as well? Usually, conjuring a large number of items is something that something that takes TP investment, and you can pick from a large list of items on top of that. If the goal is to use it like an attack (a swarm of items) then I can see you conjuring a large number, but if you also intend to use it like most conjuration skills (arm yourself with a weapon) then you'd likely need to limit the starting number. This is why I recommend separating the two. |
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| Kocho | Jan 30 2015, 01:03 PM Post #16 |
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I limited the amount she can throw at a time and the weapons she can use if she wishes to throw them. I included if she could use it to equip allies. |
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| הּKen sweatshirt | Jan 30 2015, 01:14 PM Post #17 |
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Everyone's always telling you to be humble. When was the last time someone told you to be great?
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1/2 approved |
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| Kocho | Jan 30 2015, 01:24 PM Post #18 |
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What happens if its 1/2 approved? |
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| Asylum | Jan 31 2015, 01:55 PM Post #19 |
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Prone to Madness
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Increase the rank to r2 and I'll 2/2. |
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| Kocho | Feb 1 2015, 11:18 AM Post #20 |
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I increased the rank |
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