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[Approved] Kokoro Fuyoki[Archived]
Topic Started: Jan 3 2015, 04:07 PM (774 Views)
Kocho
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× General Information

Name: Kokoro Fuyoki
Gender: Female
Age: 14
Height: 144 cm
Weight: 94 lbs
Species: Human
Appearance:

Image


Profession: Blacklist Hunter
Reputation: 0 (Rank H)
Background

Backpack


× Physical Statistics

[0/0]
[0/50]

Aura: 8
Might: 9
Agility: 12
Endurance: 9
Accuracy: 12

× Nen Techniques

Basic Nen Techniques

Hatsu Affinity: Conjurer


[2/6]
[0/0]


Hatsu Theme:
General Hatsu Description:
General Hatsu Conditions:

Hatsu Abilities


× Non-Nen Techniques

[4/16]
Techniques
Edited by Kocho, Feb 1 2015, 11:17 AM.
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mohd9011
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I'm Deadpool :P

1- you need to add more conditions to your hatsu cuz here we rarely run out of nen and i guess she will carry the scroll all the times, so they can't be considered as conditions
2- you need to add duration and cooldown for the hatsu
3- I guess you should list what kind of objects your character will conjure

thanks and sorry for the bother.
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:)Westborn
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The Most Responsible Adult in your Living Room

Firstly, I'd reccomend going here and claiming a bunch of free rewards.

Annnd, not trying to dissuade you or anything, but you don't need to be a specialist for this one. Assuming I know what you are going for, you can get the same effect with manipulator, emission, or even conjurer. Next 20 summoned and controlled items is too many, especially for how weak your conditions are. I want to limit the number of items that can be summoned also. Say (a chair) 5 medium (swords) 11 small (arrows).

For the conditions put that she needs to write the symbols as she needs them, with one symbol per item, and a set amount of symbols she can write per post. On the other side of the technique, we need to know how long this ability lasts.
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Kocho
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I think I have done it right, sorry for not posting onit for a while, I've been busy with school. Bump? Bump.
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:)Westborn
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The Most Responsible Adult in your Living Room

It’s looking much better. You need to change [X/6] and [X/16] to [3/6] and [11/16]

What I had meant by giving you those numbers for the amount of controlled objects was to limit how much you could wave about at one time. It’ll likely end up as an odd math problem, but you have a pretty solid guide already, I just want to know how many things she can have going at once. Say if she had 7 arrows flying about, does that mean she can also have a single sword? One of the easier ways to do this is to give sized objects a numerical value and give a capacity to the ability that could later be increased via TP. Sorry if that’s at all confusing.
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Kocho
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Done, I hope this is the last edit I need to make x.x
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:)Westborn
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The Most Responsible Adult in your Living Room

I'm not entirely sure you want "men strands" attached to your hands... Assuming thats just a typo its an easy fix. Set that up and let us know how much the set amount of symbols are per post (keep it low, ie 3, you can always increase it later). Everything else looks good.
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Flash
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Those whom the gods wish to destroy, they first make mad.

Looking at your NNtech, what exactly "Piku" does isn't very clear. Go into some more detail into what exactly the function is.

I'd probably also want to see a list of items you can conjure, which you can categorize as Small, Medium and Large.

Also, what type of hunter?

You mention a dagger in the NNtech as well, but you don't have one. You have five million to spend and that money is gone once your character is approved so you should make use of it.
Edited by Flash, Jan 20 2015, 10:49 AM.
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Kocho
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I decided that she won't have a nntech and I added a lost of items. Hope this is the final edit ;-;
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Kocho
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I decided to include a non men tech. Its a martial art called systema
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